


The JARVIS

by Estrella3791



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Artist Reader, Awesome Reader, Awkward reader, But Mostly Just Craziness from my own Mind, But it takes a while, Does That Make It Slow Burn?, Drama, F/M, Fluff, I don't know, If you've watched the movies you'll be fine, In my mind anyway, Not a lot though, Shy Bucky Barnes, So Does Everybody, Some Elements from that Movie, Steve Rogers and Sam WIlson Are Both Good Bros, They Ship You Two So Hard, Very Very Loosely Based on Titanic, Why Am I Even Here?, a little bit of violence? I think?, but there is also kidnapping, shy reader, whatever that means, you go on a cruise!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2018-10-30 01:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 104,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10866417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrella3791/pseuds/Estrella3791
Summary: Tony Stark has built a top-of-the-line, state-of-the-art, big, new, glamorous cruise ship called the JARVIS. The reader gets ahold of a ticket by a completely random turn of events, and finds herself on the deck of the boat, clutching her sketchbook and her duffel bag and completely unaware of what's in store for her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So… this is my first attempt at a multichapter XReader. I can’t lie; I’m pretty excited.  
> The idea for the story got stuck in my head after I watched Titanic for the first time. (I know, I know. I should have watched it years ago.) It was AMAZING, and I LOVED it, and I decided that we needed a Bucky x Reader based on it.  
> However, this is very, VERY loosely based on the movie, or anything at all to do with the Titanic itself. I started out thinking that I’d stick pretty close to the movie, but then the story took on a mind of its own and this happened.  
> Sadly, los Vengedores don’t even show up until like the second chapter. :( BUT there is you being awesome and a giant cruise ship, so that’s kind of a consolation.  
> Oh, and also… I kind of based Reader’s personality on my own. I know that’s not a good thing to do, and I’m sorry about that.  
> Oh, and I’m pretty sure that everyone who’s going to be reading this knows everything already, but just in case…  
> (Y/N) – Your Name  
> (e/c) – eye color  
> (h/c) – hair color  
> (f/c) – favorite cereal  
> And etcetera, etcetera. You know how it works.  
> Sorry about the lengthy introduction! I really, really hope that you enjoy!!!

You keep your face carefully blank as you study your cards. The man sitting in front of you has a smug grin on his face. You haven’t responded to his last move, but he’s fairly sure that he can beat this young dreamer. You’ve been smiling to yourself the whole while. Everyone seems to make this mistake. Apparently a young twenty-something girl who is clearly an artist isn’t a very intimidating poker opponent. Fortunately, you are savvier to the world than your sketchbook and hopeful expression convey, and you are more than capable of winning a poker game with this joker. That’s why, when a ticket which you happen to recognize as one onto that new big cruise ship (which, incidentally, the famous Avengers will also be travelling on), is thrown into the pile at the center of the table, you can’t help raising an eyebrow at the gambler. 

”Really? You want to risk losing your ticket out of here?”  
The man scoffs.

“As if. And, besides, it’s not like I don’t have other ways to get out of here, unlike you. Artists don’t make money.”

You raise your other eyebrow. He’s obviously trying to land a low blow.

“Touché,” you say, shifting through your cards. “I feel very insulted.”

The guy grins. 

“I try,” he says. 

And then you smile, and it confuses him… until he realizes what’s happening.

“So do I,” you say, and then you slam your cards down onto the table, a triumphant smirk pulling on your lips. He stares at your hand, trying to wrap his head around the fact that you just won, while you stand up so quickly that your chair falls over and start dancing around. “I’m going to go on the _JARVIS _! With the Avengers! What a beautiful day!”__

__The bartender just shakes his head at you with a chuckle._ _

__“Then you better get going, because the ship leaves in under an hour,” he reminds you. His words bring you back to the present with a jolt, and you quickly slide all of the money off of the table and into your duffel bag. You stuff your sketchbook in beside it and zip the bag closed before grabbing the ticket and bouncing out of the bar with a cheery wave at the guy working the counter. He just shakes his head again. He’s gotten to know you a bit, because you’ve been frequenting this place for the last little while. You love it. All the different patrons with all their different drinks… There’s so much to draw. Just like there will be on the _freaking cruise ship that you are going to be standing on in less than an hour _! You bounce out of there with a squeal, taking no notice of the odd stares coming your way.___ _

____You’re on your way!_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____You get through the security check fairly easily – and quickly, thank goodness – and make your way onto the massive ship, gaping at the sheer size of it. You don’t know a lot about the ship – keeping up with current news isn’t easy when you don’t really have a home base, nor is it a priority – but you do know that it was designed (and probably mostly made) by Tony Stark, the billionaire who also doubles as Iron Man in his spare time. Because he’s a billionaire and has a huge ego, the ship is absolutely awe-inspiring, and your mouth seems to hold itself open as you admire all the little details. This is the first voyage it’s taking, and he’s done a lot of marketing – not that he needed to. Just the fact that Iron Man and Captain America would be on the boat has done a lot for reeling in buyers of tickets. You’ve heard women say that if they can’t marry an Avenger they won’t marry at all. You personally can’t understand it. Sure, they’re good looking men, but if you’re going to give your heart away, you prefer to give it to someone that you already know. That train of thought, though, leads to a station that you prefer not to visit, so you shove the rising memories to the back of your mind and force yourself back to the present, where an official looking person is offering to take you to your cabin._ _ _ _

____You don’t even try to keep the wide grin off of your face as you skip along the hall behind the maid. You’ve always loved the ocean and everything to do with it, so the fact that you’re going to be on a ship for a month (Yes, that’s how long the cruise is. Hadn’t you mentioned that Stark was a billionaire? He never did things by halves.) makes you almost unbearably happy. You thank the woman who showed you to your room with a brilliant smile, and her chapped lips split into an answering grin, apparently infected by your enthusiasm. You push the door to your cabin open and inhale sharply._ _ _ _

____It’s _beautiful _. You’ve never even been inside of a room this nice, let alone stayed in one. There’s a towel folded into a teddy bear sitting on the bed, which is tucked into the corner of the room and somehow built into the wall. There are screens everywhere, and you suspect that some surfaces were also screens, just inactive right now. You peek inside the bathroom and marvel at the way the toilet and sink and shower are set up to give the tiny room a spacious feeling that you never would have believed possible in a room so miniscule. You step back into the main living space and admire the desk that is fastened to the wall and the chair that is fastened to a track on the floor, so you can slide it back and forth but it is still secured down. You shake your head at Tony Stark’s brilliance as you set your duffel bag down on the bed and flop down beside it. You lie there for a minute, staring up at the ceiling, until the reality of your situation hits you. You’re on a cruise. For three months. For free. You let out a screech of pure joy and bounce up. You want to go check out the deck.__ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____By the time you got up to the top level, you felt completely overwhelmed. The luxury is _unbelievable _. When you opened the doors to walk up, it felt like you were strolling through the downtown area of a big city. There were bars and shops and gift stores with various pieces of merchandise that said ‘JARVIS’ on them in big bold letters. ( _JARVIS _is, incidentally, the name of the ship that you’re on, just in case you'd forgotten.) Once you got out of the ‘downtown’ area, there was a freaking _waterpark _, complete with slides, a splash pad, and a pool that you’re pretty sure was even bigger than Olympic-sized. You gawked at the rows upon rows of lawn chairs that looked nearly endless. Almost all of them were filled with flawless, suntanned girls in tiny bikinis. You rolled your eyes at them before climbing the next set of stairs._______ _ _ _ _

___________The next level was a games level. There were pool and ping pong tables, a miniature basketball court, and a mini golf course. (You’re actually pretty sure there were more, but at this point you can’t even remember.) You walked over to the railing that looked down at the pool level, staring at the way the decks were set up like a set of stairs themselves. The pool section looked like one block, this games level looked like the next, and… you bit your lip in anticipation as you started climbing the next set of stairs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________This one was the one you were looking for. When you pushed your way through the crowd to the railing that did not overlook the games deck, you got a faceful of salty wind and a tingle in your body. When you first got up here, it was almost packed with people eagerly awaiting the departure. Soon enough, the horn blew, loudly enough to make all of the children and even a few of the adults cover their ears, and the huge vessel chuffed its way out to the open sea. For a little while, people excitedly exclaimed over the brightness of the sun and the blue of the water, but then talk turned to the cold of the wind, and they slowly trickled away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Now, several hours after you first came up, you’re the only one left on the deck, and you’re just as enraptured with the line where the sky meets the water as you were when you arrived. You love the ocean, and the way that the waves dance, and the gulls that swoop around, snatching bites of fish. You love the way the clouds move and the saltiness of the air. You breathe deeply and let out a sigh of contentment. You wouldn’t want to be anywhere else._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we catch a glimpse of the Avengers for the first time! Yay!!!

The rest of the evening passes swiftly. You decide that socializing – even if your definition of ‘socializing’ is more like simply being exposed to any people at all – would just be too much after the stress of today – even if stress is more like ‘excitement,’ which is something completely different - so you retreat to your room after the sun goes down and the air turns unpleasantly cold. You nibble on an apple – the maid came by earlier, with a basket of fruit – and open your sketchbook. You just bought this one a little while ago, so while there are a few drawings – an abandoned house with grass growing out of a crack on a windowsill, a little girl with a wide smile on her face as her daddy plays with her, a dog captured in mid-leap as he jumps up to grab a tennis ball – you still have a lot of empty pages, thank goodness. There’s so much on this boat to draw that you don’t even know where to start. 

You settle for a sketch of the _JARVIS _itself, because you mastered boats a long time go. You work at it for hours, the tip of your tongue sticking out of your mouth in concentration. You’ve just finished shading the windows in when a rap on the door startles you out of your drawing and you look up, wondering why anyone would be knocking on your door at – you glance at the clock on the bedside table – 10:30 at night.__

__“Yes?” you call, pushing yourself off of your bed and shoving your pencils back in their case. “Who is it?”_ _

__It turns out that it’s just the blond maid that showed you to your room, which feels just a little anticlimactic. You silently admire her perfect complexion and reflect on the fact that she probably doesn’t get out to see the sun very much. She wants to know what your order for breakfast is, and your brain short circuits. This is more lavishness than you’ve ever really been exposed to, and it’s hard for you to process._ _

__“Um…” you stammer, and she gives you a sympathetic smile before she starts listing off options._ _

__“We have eggs, pancakes, bacon, sausages…”_ _

__You hold up a hand, feeling more overwhelmed than before._ _

__“I’m going to assume that whatever I want, you have?” She grins, and you take that as confirmation. “Okay. I’ll have three bowls of (favorite cereal), please.” You never get to eat a lot of cereal, since you’re always on the move and lugging milk around was completely impractical, so when you get a chance you eat as much as you can. It occurs to you that the maid might think that you’re crazy or a glutton or both, but she just nods, as if eating breakfast cereal when you’re on the trip of your life is a perfectly normal thing to do, and taps it into the electronic device she’s carrying. Tony Stark really _is _in charge of this boat.___ _

____“Thank you, miss.”_ _ _ _

____You shake your head._ _ _ _

____“No, no. I’m not ‘miss.’ That makes me sound like a spinster, and I’m really just a strong, independent woman. My name is (Y/N).”_ _ _ _

____She looks rather touched, and smiles at you warmly._ _ _ _

____“I’m not technically _supposed _to call you by your first name, but I wouldn’t want you to feel like a spinster. It’s very nice to make your acquaintance, (Y/N). I’m Melinda.”___ _ _ _

______“It’s nice to meet you, too, Melinda.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You feel quite satisfied with the way that went. You’ve always been good at making friends. It’s easy for you to empathize with just about anyone, so it never takes you long to win anyone over._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well, I’ve got lots more passengers to take care of, so…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You shake yourself back to the real world._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Right! Sorry. I could probably get lost in my own head if there wasn’t someone to pull me out.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She laughs._ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She waves as she steps out of the room, and you flop back onto your bed with a satisfied sigh. You really do love people, and they seem to love you, too, when you let them get close enough. You may love them, but you don’t trust them very much. Not since… you abruptly yank yourself out of that train of thought, and pick up your sketchbook again. You think you can finish the _JARVIS _before you go to bed.___ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The next morning you wake to a knock at your door. Squinting your barely functioning eyes at the luminous numbers of the clock, you realize with a start that it’s almost eleven in the morning. Padding across the floor in bare feet, you open it to see Melinda standing there with a box of (f/c) in one hand and a gallon of milk in the other. A bowl and spoon and some napkins are waiting on the tray behind her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Just in case three bowls weren’t enough,” she says with a wink, and you beam at her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Thank you so much!” you exclaim, taking the cereal and milk and setting them on the table. “That was so nice of you!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She waves your thanks off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Just doing my job,” she says, and you smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Well, thanks anyway. You’re so considerate!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________From anyone else, that would sound cheesy and over the top, but from you it just sounds right._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know, I know,” she teases. “Enjoy!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I will,” you assure her. “See you!” You close the door and rub your hands together. This is going to be an amazing trip._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You spend most of the day up on deck, sketching children with ice cream and elderly couples in big floppy sunhats and several different variations of the seascape, which you never get tired. You see lots of gulls but not a lot of other wildlife, so you stick with domestic scenes and the ocean (which will never be domestic, and you love thinking about it.) You break for a glass of tap water over by the pool (you’ve been homeless for who knows how long. You’re not going to turn up your nose at some water just because it came out of a tap. Plus, it’s free!) and that’s about it. You’re just getting ready to pack up and head back inside to see if you can watch a movie on one of your many screens (you love movies, but you’ve never gotten the chance to watch very many) when you hear a lot of squeals and gasps and look up to see what the commotion is._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It’s the Avengers._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Well, to be completely accurate, it’s the Avengers’ fans, because the superheroes themselves are not making much noise or causing any commotion, but the Avengers are, in fact, walking down the deck. You quickly scramble into the shadows (You have no wish to be noticed by them; you’re not even sure if it’s legal to board a ship using a ticket you won in a poker game. Plus, scrambling into the shadows makes you feel like you’re in a spy movie, and yes, you may be an adult, but that doesn’t mean you have to think like one.) and watch them go by._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There’s Tony Stark, of course, wearing an AC/DC t-shirt and looking entirely unaffected by the noise. You silently wonder if his CEO is on the ship. You’ve once seen an interview with her and Mr. Stark where the interviewer asked Miss Potts if she had any ownership of the ship since she owned the company, and she’d given Stark a look and said that yes, she supposed that she owned about twelve percent of the ship._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Captain America – his real name is Steve Rogers, right? – is looking a little disoriented but all in all fairly happy. You muse on how difficult it must have been to come back after seventy years. Cap looks like he’s doing pretty well, though, if the grin on his face is any indication. (Although he might be laughing at something Mr. Stark said. Who knows?)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Thor, the alien – or, as most of the women in your acquaintance call him, the god – is swinging his arms, looking as cheerful as he always seems to be. He’s always secretly been your favorite, if only because every time you’ve seen him in an interview he’s smiling brightly. You like the idea of a happy superhero._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bruce Banner – he turns into the Hulk – is walking very closely to Black Widow – her real name is Natasha, you think – and you wonder if there’s something going on there, and what that girl that was obsessed with the Avengers – the one at the homeless shelter – would say if she could be here now. She’d probably take a picture to document the chemistry or something.  
Hawkeye is tagging along behind them, partly listening to their conversation and partly keeping an eye on the Scarlet Witch, who is chatting with that Android. The Vision, isn’t that what he’s called? Every time you’ve seen them in public together, it’s looked like both the Vision and the Hawkeye are very protective of the girl. You think it’s nice. You don’t know a lot of her story, but you know that it’s pretty rough, and it’s nice to know that she has some people looking after her. (Though you would like to know if Vision and she are ‘a thing’ like everyone says, or if it’s purely platonic.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Either way, the guy with the wings – Falcon – is chatting with… you don’t even _know _who that guy is. Could he be that guy that gets big and then small again? You heard somewhere that there was a new Avenger that had that ability. Wasn’t his name Stan or something?___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________And then you suddenly realize that there’s _another _man walking along behind them. His head is down, which means that you can’t see his face (although that doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy the view. This guy is _ripped _.), and for a moment you feel totally confused, and then he swings his left arm forward a little bit. It’s shining. Why is it shining? And then you realize that it’s made out of metal and that’s the Winter Soldier._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Normally, your soft gasp wouldn’t be at all audible, but this guy is a super soldier, and a trained assassin, and he turns his head and looks right at you. You feel your heart skip as you look into steely grey eyes, both because you’re feeling a little nervous that you’ve been discovered by someone who’s walking so close to the Avengers that he must be one of them, and also because you suddenly appreciate the fact that the Winter Soldier is, without question, the most attractive man you have ever seen. In your life. Hands down. He’s… yeah. And so you stare at him, and he keeps looking at you, like he’s memorizing every detail about you. It’s almost strange, the way he’s looking at you… but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t send a shiver down your spine._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You’re so immersed in him and his gorgeousness that you almost don’t realize that the Falcon is turning around to call to him, but then his answering shout wakes you up from your daydream and you quickly scuttle off, trying to bring your respiratory and cardiac rates back down to normal._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You’re so busy escaping that you don’t see his eyes following your retreating form’s every move._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You dash into your room and close the door, feeling completely mixed-up and confused. What even just happened?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________And then reality takes over. You fangirled over an Avenger. That’s what happened._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You lean your head back against the wall with a sigh. This is exactly what you wanted to avoid when you came on this ship. Losing it in front of an Avenger didn’t exactly make sure you stayed under the radar, which is basically what your goal in life is – was._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________But then your optimistic nature takes over. It’s not like you’re that spectacular. And, even if you were, why should the Winter Soldier take notice of you? You’d be more worried if it had been Mr. Stark, or, horror, Thor. But, lucky you, it wasn’t. So everything’s going to be fine. Right?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It ended a little abruptly, I know. And we didn't actually meet anybody. Sorry about that. I hope you liked it anyway. If you have the time, and/or inclination, let me know what you thought! Even if it's just telling me that it's not what you expected, or if there's something you'd like to see happen, I'd love to hear from you!  
> Have a great day!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You officially meet Bucky for the first time! Eek!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so, so much to all of my beautiful commenters! You guys are fantabulous, and every comment made my day. I really hope that you enjoy this chapter, and thank you SO MUCH for getting on this boat with me! I love you guys!

You wake up long before Melinda gets to the door this time, because you fell asleep shortly after you got back to your room last night. (Plus, you only slept in yesterday because you wanted to. Yeah, it just sounds like an excuse, but it’s the truth. You’ve trained yourself to function on very little sleep, because… well, never mind. You don’t want to go there. Let’s just say that it’s a skill that you had to learn out of necessity in some situations that you’ve had to live through.) You mentally compare the merits of staying here and waiting for breakfast or going outside to get some air. The pros of leaving far outweigh the cons and you leave a note on the door letting her know that you’ll grab breakfast up on the deck.

You won’t, actually (you don’t have a lot of money and you’re saving it for something important – like food when you’re actually hungry), but you’re feeling the need for some air.

Apparently the deck isn’t a popular spot at five thirty in the morning, and you smile to yourself as you make your way over to a bench that is set up close to the railing. You stare out over the water at the faint pink shimmer in the sky that indicates the sun is on its way up for you don’t know how long. It’s almost intoxicating, the early morning air in your lungs and the salty spray that the wind is blowing into your face. It’s a little on the cold side, and you’re thankful that you’d had the foresight to pull a sweater over your head before you came up here. You breathe a deep sigh of contentment, getting as much salty breeze into your body as your lungs can possibly contain. When you close your eyes and sense the wind playing with your hair you feel almost unbearably happy, and waves of peace and contentment wash over you.

And then a decidedly masculine voice completely shatters your serenity.

“You’re up early.”

You shriek and whirl around to look at your companion, blood pounding in your ears. You’re planning on informing him (in a raised voice),that sneaking up on unsuspecting dreamers is both rude and insensitive, but all of the words fly out of your mind when your eyes meet an icy blue gaze.

It’s the Winter Soldier.

You forget how to talk, how to think – goodness, you forget how to breathe. You stare at him for much longer than would be considered appropriate, but he doesn’t seem to mind – at least, if he does, you can’t tell, because he’s staring right back at you. it feels like a repeat of last night, except that this time you’re standing really, _really _close to each other. The silence would be considered awkward by most people, but, for some inexplicable reason, you feel completely comfortable with him. There’s something in his eyes, beneath the swirling emotions, that makes you feel that you can trust him.__

__You’re just reflecting on the fact that he doesn’t look like the talkative type when he surprises you by breaking the silence._ _

__“You’re up early,” he says, echoing his words from a minute ago. “Couldn’t sleep?”_ _

__And there goes your peace. You shrug, wondering what you’re supposed to say. Too bad he didn’t just keep quiet forever? You and he and the sun and the waves had a good thing going on._ _

__“It’s a really nice morning. I guess I just… it’s a really nice morning.” He looks at you strangely, and you facepalm. You have a tendency to get socially awkward (especially when you’re around hot guys). “So… yeah.” He just keeps looking at you, and you squirm under his gaze. “Do you… I could ask you the same question.” A questioning note creeps into his eyes, and you feel an aggressive blush commandeer your face. “The same question that you asked me. Why are you up so early? That’s what I meant.” Why, oh why, are you so ridiculously awkward? He continues to look at you steadily, and you start to fidget uncomfortably. Is he never going to say anything? Should you keep talking? No. Bad idea. You talking clearly does not equal anything good. He keeps looking at you. You decide that this is ridiculous. “Um, okay. This was… nice meeting… it was good to…”_ _

__You get more and more stressed and discouraged as time goes on, and you wish desperately that you had just stayed in your room, because the sea air was lovely and the waves were nice to listen to, but you’ve just made a fool out of yourself in front of the most good-looking guy you’ve ever seen, and you just want to go curl up in your bunk and ask Melinda if she can possibly find you some ice cream. And then your befuddled thoughts are interrupted by that raspy and unreasonably knee-weakening voice._ _

__“It is a nice morning.”_ _

__At first you feel completely flabbergasted that any sound came out of him, but then you nod so hard that your neck protests, feeling relieved. He’s talking to you! This is amazing!_ _

__“Yeah, it is, isn’t it? I really love it. The wind is nice. I love wind. The waves sound really nice, too. And the breeze…”_ _

__He lifts a hand and even though it’s a very slight movement you immediately clamp your lips together, wondering what on earth is wrong with yourself. Good job, (Y/N). Good job. You just had to mess up the first positive interaction you’ve had in…  
“Shh,” the Winter Soldier says, “don’t talk.” You feel a blush that’s even hotter than the first one rush up your neck into your cheeks and wonder if it would be a very terrible idea to jump over the railing into the ocean. At least the iciness would cool your burning cheeks, and maybe the water rushing into your ears would quiet the embarrassing echoes of your babbling, and this guy thinks you’re stupid, and you _are _stupid, and if only you could… “Look at the sunrise.”___ _

____Your internal voice shuts up in surprise, and you look up sharply. The Winter Soldier is looking at you, but as soon as he sees you looking at him he turns his head and you follow his gaze out over the waves to where the sky is becoming increasingly more vibrant. You see a dizzyingly beautiful display of colors, from deep reds to bright oranges and everything in between. The restless ocean has hints of pink and red in it, too, reflected from the sky. It’s absolutely amazing. Your breath catches in your throat and the man by your side and the ship under your feet both fade away and you feel yourself slipping under the enchantment of the picture-perfect paint the sun is sloshing across the sky, and for a moment everything is perfect._ _ _ _

____There’s no way that you could possibly know that the man by your side has turned his head back and is looking at you with an expression that is almost as dazed as yours is. Unless you could read minds, you’d never know that he is almost as entranced by you as you are by the beautiful sunrise. And yet it’s true. That’s what he’s thinking. He’s admiring the way the sun is making your skin glow and the way that the breeze is playing with your hair. And he’s also wondering why on earth you’re affecting him this way._ _ _ _

____The thought of caring for another person after so many years of only looking out for himself scares him, although he knows somewhere that it really isn’t that bad. Just look at the way his friendship with Steve and, heck, the rest of the Avengers has turned out. Sometimes other people can be _fun _. He remembers flirting with women ‘back in his day’ and wonders if he’s still got the touch. But the thought of offering even the littlest bit of himself to you and then getting rejected terrifies him, so he swivels his head back to look at the sky, which is even more bright and colorful now than it was the last time he looked. He lets himself be drawn into the scarlet clouds which the wind is gleefully swirling around, and he feels your presence by his side, and he feels … dare he call it happy?___ _ _ _

______You sigh to yourself as the last traces of violet disappear from the sky. It was one of the most gorgeous sunrises you’ve ever seen. You realize with a start that the Winter Soldier has been standing next to you this whole time, and you also realize, with even more of a start, that you’ve been enjoying his company immensely, even if you didn’t completely realize that he was there. You’ve never met anyone that didn’t make you feel like you had to pour words out of your mouth. This man is quiet, and you are quiet, too, and both of you are blissfully content. You turn to look at him, and he turns his head to look at you at almost the same time. When you meet his eyes, your anxiety returns and you almost start babbling again. But then you remember him saying, ‘look at the sunrise,’ and you wonder if maybe, just maybe, this guy is different from all of the others that you’ve known, and you keep yourself from saying anything._ _ _ _ _ _

______You were right about him not being chatty, because at this point every other person on earth would have felt the need to say something, and he just keeps looking at you with an unnervingly steady gaze. You shift your weight from foot to foot and fiddle with the strings on your hoodie and do everything in your power to keep yourself from letting the waterfall of nervous words that is building up in your throat from cascading into the air and making you look like an idiot in front of him – again. It’s just when you’re about to have a nervous breakdown that he gives you a brisk nod and walks away with purposeful strides._ _ _ _ _ _

______You collapse against the railing in relief… and just a little bit of disappointment. However awkward that situation may have been, at least you had an excuse to stare at the chiseled jaw and absurdly tempting lips and stormy eyes that seem to change color._ _ _ _ _ _

______Shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you clench your hands around the railing and pull yourself up until you’re standing upright once again. You’ve never let attractive men do this to you before, and you’re definitely not going to let this guy do it to you now. He’s spoken approximately fifteen words to you, and it’s not like you’re ever going to see him again, anyway. He’s with the legendary Avengers, and you’re not with ANYONE, great or small. He has buddies, and you’re all alone. It was a one time thing, and he has pretty eyes, and you enjoyed them, and now it’s over._ _ _ _ _ _

______Or so you think._ _ _ _ _ _

______You’re actually almost completely wrong._ _ _ _ _ _

______But he really does have pretty eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwwww!!!! You two are so cute, and we’ve only just gotten started. ;)   
> As always, let me know if you have any ideas!  
> I hope you liked it! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we have some Steve and Bucky bromance, and lots of musings on all of the Avengers.  
> Thank you so much to everyone who is reading this! You’re the best!  
> Enjoy!

“Bucky!” Steve shouts, and Bucky slows to a stop. He’s still unsure and angry a significant amount of the time, but Steve is slowly and surely melting his walls and the old camaraderie is being built up in their place. Something about it feels familiar, like slipping into an old pair of pajamas, and Bucky is starting to remember things. There’s no rhyme or rhythm to it – there’ll be a flash of knowledge here, a sudden memory of summer days in Brooklyn there – but the flickers of recognition are getting more and more common. He likes it when he gets memories back, but it’s a little discouraging when he only gets a trickle while longing for a cascade.

“Yeah?” he asks, and the happiness in Steve’s eyes makes the fact that he just spoke without being spoken to completely worth it. 

“We’re having breakfast right now. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, but Sam and I saved you a place, and Cooper is asking about you.”

Bucky can feel his eyes softening. All of Clint’s family had come on the boat – ship, Stark kept correcting him – in addition to… oh, gosh. He couldn’t even remember his own memories. How was he supposed to remember the names of every significant other and child on the boat – ship? He knew all of Barton’s family by name, mostly because he had developed an unlikely friendship with the man over the course of their time together. Maybe it had been a lifetime of killing people that had bonded them, or maybe it was the fact that Barton had stayed up until five in the morning teaching him how to play Mario Kart. Either way, now they had each other’s backs, and Bucky had met Laura and Cooper and Lila and Nathaniel early on. Cooper had taken an instant liking to Bucky – the metal arm may possibly have had something to do with it – and promptly started idolizing him. Now Bucky can hardly make it three steps into any room that the thirteen year old is inhabiting without the kid attaching himself to Bucky’s leg like a limpet. And it’s not like the former Winter Soldier will ever admit it, but he loves the attention. 

“Okay.” 

It’s just one word, but it makes Steve’s eyes light up, and Bucky feels a pang of guilt for being so distant when all that Steve has ever tried to do is be his friend.

And yet… After the whole Civil War thing, Bucky can’t even process anything the same way anymore. He doesn’t know who he is, he doesn’t know who he was, and he has no friggin’ idea of who he’s supposed to be. He remembers the clips that he’s seen of himself during the War but before the Fall, laughing and joking with Steve, flirting with the ladies, confident and cocky but also tenderhearted. Now, he can hardly remember what it’s like to smile, and, judging by this morning, he can’t even talk to a female without screwing that up. He’s lonely and yet reaching out to others hurts. Oh, he’s done it – there have been many late night talks with Steve, and Barton, and Natasha, and even Sam Wilson – but he’s not able to just let go of it all and talk for the fun of it. He can’t seem to remember how to enjoy himself, even though, according to Steve, he was once the biggest partier in town. 

He wonders about the girl that he saw up on the deck this morning. He wonders what strange force compelled him to actually open his mouth, and he wonders if he’d ever have the courage again. He wonders if she is thinking of him, or if she’s totally forgotten him. Probably the latter. It’s not like he’s anything special – and even if he was, it’s not like anyone would want to deal with his past.

“Buck?” Steve’s voice yanks him out of his thoughts (which is just as well, since those thoughts were taking a rather moody turn) and he looks at his friend.

“Mmm?” 

Steve looks a little worried.

“You looked pretty lost there. Are you okay?” Bucky must have accidentally looked a little hostile, because Steve immediately holds up his hands in defense. “Hey, I’m sorry. I get it that you’re not really okay and that’s…”

“I’m fine,” Bucky says, because he is. And even if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t want anyone to worry about him, partly because of pride and partly because the whole Avengers team has already gone to way too much trouble for him. Steve nods, and Bucky can tell that there are no hard feelings, and he wishes for the millionth time that Steve wasn’t so dang _perfect _. It’s not fair. Even if he _hadn't _killed over two hundred people, there would still be no way that he could ever even hope to measure up to his friend. He vaguely remembers feeling this way before, after Steve had rescued him from that HYDRA hangout and he’d realized just how much his friend had changed.____

____He wishes that Steve hadn’t changed at all, sometimes._ _ _ _

____They arrive at the humongous dining hall/socializing area which is set aside for Avengers and family only. Steve is promptly called over by Romanoff, which might have bothered Bucky a while ago but doesn’t any more. He likes Natasha. Her quick wit and sharp skill make her a matter of interest to him, and he enjoys listening to her shut Stark up, since she’s about the only person that can do that. With an ‘it’s okay’ wave at Steve, he makes his way over to the seat between Sam and Cooper, which, just in case he was feeling uncertain, has a piece of construction paper with his name written on it in sprawling capital letters. He sits down with the casual grace of an assassin, and Sam is on his left and says, “Hey, man!” and Cooper is on his right and says, “Bucky!” in a tone that makes him feel more than a little warm and fuzzy. It’s nice to be worshiped._ _ _ _

____Some would probably say that Tony Stark was being his usual extravagant self when he reserved an entire room just for the Avengers to eat their meals in, but it was actually a crucial action. (And just in case you were wondering if it was actually _that _crucial, the idea was suggested by the no-nonsense Pepper Potts. Yes, it was necessary.) Tony learned long ago that if they don’t have at least five breakfast bars, there will be two super soldiers, an Asgardian, and two master assassins banging at his door. Besides the fact that they have to have enough space for the BIG-big eaters to get their grub in a timely fashion, right now they have significant others, friends, and/or families. Barton’s kids alone can make more noise than several dying HYDRA agents, and when you add in Cassie – Scott’s daughter – and, of course, Thor, a small space is simply not an option. So Tony added a room just for them in the plans, and it’s pretty nice, if he does say so himself. There’s some exercise equipment fastened to the ground in one of the corners, just in case the super soldiers (or Romanoff) get restless, and there’s a big TV and gaming system in another. And, of course, there’s a big table at one end of the room, and some booths tucked against the wall for people who want some privacy. Tony’s rather proud of it, really, and he likes watching Lila trying desperately to get a chin-up. (She watched Steve do two hundred in a row and immediately made it her life’s mission.)___ _ _ _

______Bucky listens to Cooper with one ear and looks around the room with the rest of his senses._ _ _ _ _ _

______Thor is the first person his eyes land on, probably because he’s loud and big. Right now, actually, he’s actually speaking quite softly to Doctor ‘Call-Me-Jane’ Foster. The woman is delicate, and Bucky could break her neck without even trying, but she has a quick tongue and a quicker temper, and she’s won Bucky’s respect. Thor himself Bucky enjoys immensely. The god, or whatever he is, makes Bucky laugh on a regular basis, which is something very few people can do, and Bucky likes listening to everything he has to say about Asgard._ _ _ _ _ _

______Barton is tucked into one of the corner booths, with both eyes and a hand on his wife. Bucky softens inside, because he likes watching the two together. Laura is so in love with Clint, and the archer, for his part, absolutely adores his wife. Bucky has always liked Laura. She’s honest and genuine, and when they first met she gave him a piece of pie without even glancing at his arm. Lila is playing with Nathaniel over by the exercise equipment, and Bucky feels a surge of happiness when he listens to the toddler exclaim over one of her card tricks._ _ _ _ _ _

______Romanoff and Banner are sitting together, so closely that Bucky hopes for a moment that they’ve finally gotten together. But then Romanoff looks down, blushing, and Banner avoids her eyes when she looks back up, and Bucky sighs. They’re so head over heels for each other that even HE can tell, but they have yet to make it official, which Bucky thinks is both ridiculous and more than a little noble._ _ _ _ _ _

______Steve is sitting next to Sharon and across from Scott and Cassie Lang now. Bucky isn’t quite sure what to make of the woman. The fact that she’s a Carter made him think that she’d be like Peggy. And she is; he can see the fire in her eyes just as clearly as in her aunt’s, and she has the same fearless courage, but she’s also different. She seems… softer, somehow, breakable, in a way that Peggy never was. But she makes Steve happy, and that alone is enough to win him over. He understands the need to have someone to protect, and Sharon lets Steve take care of her in a way that Peggy never would have. In the end, he finds himself liking her. Bucky likes Scott, too. He finds the man’s awkwardness entertaining, and he finds himself laughing sometimes. And Cassie… Bucky occasionally wonders if he has an even softer spot for her than for Cooper. SHE looked right at his arm the first time they met, but with an awed curiosity rather than an accusatory stare. She asked him if he was part robot, and he told her honestly that sometimes he thinks so. Steve flinched beside him and Scott’s eyes widened, but Bucky wasn’t looking at them._ _ _ _ _ _

______Tony, of course, is sitting so closely to Pepper that he’s almost in her lap, but she’s ignoring him, as per usual. Tony… it took a while, but now he and Bucky have something akin to companionship. Bucky chuckles at most of the man’s jokes, which helped break down quite a few walls, and Tony worked with T’Challa on a new arm (made out of vibranium) for him, which broke down even more. Pepper he enjoys, if only because she can put Tony in his place even faster than Natasha. She’s always been kind to him, and he likes the way that she can make him feel at ease in almost any situation._ _ _ _ _ _

______Wanda is talking to Vision, the talking robot. The fact that one could read minds and the other was an android threw him for a loop, at first, but then Steve explained everything and now he and Vision are on fairly good terms. He doesn’t know WHAT kind of relationship he has with Wanda, but he knows that she has a ‘crush’ on Vision and she knows that he knows. They always speak in Russian, and he enjoys it. He likes using the language, even though he’s not really sure why._ _ _ _ _ _

______And, of course, Sam. They got off to a rocky start. Both considered themselves Steve’s ‘best friend,’ and both had very valid reasons to think of themselves as such. It had rankled Bucky to think about how much better than him Sam genuinely was, and it had led to insecurities in absolutely crippling quantities. In the end, Steve had a long talk with Sam behind closed doors, and the next day the Falcon came over to sit beside him. Long story short, Sam was almost as close as Steve now. Almost, but not quite._ _ _ _ _ _

______An exaggerated gesture from Cooper brings Bucky back down to planet Earth, and he catches the very end of a monologue on the superiority of the original three Star Wars movies to the prequels. Personally, Bucky likes the newest one best, but he’s not going to say anything, if only because both Cooper and Sam would both probably die of shock if he did. Steve says something, and Bucky suddenly realizes that at one point while he was people watching, his best friend sat down across from him. This alone merits speech, and it won’t surprise anyone if he talks to Steve._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Did you and Sharon have a little argume…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Steve cuts him off before he can finish, blushing furiously._ _ _ _ _ _

______“NO.” He realizes that he just shouted and quickly repeats, “No, we’re fine,” in a quieter voice. Bucky just grins, and Sam holds up his hand for a fist bump. Bucky complies without even looking. Unfortunately, he forgot that Sam was on his left, and the man crumples over with a groan as vibranium meets skin. Steve laughs, and Bucky finds himself smiling more widely than before. Sam whimpers._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh.” He pulls himself into a sitting position, still grumbling. “You try to be friendly, and what do they do? They smack you with all the force of the Falcon.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re pretty sure of yourself,” Steve says. “Falcon?” Bucky asks simultaneously, just as Cooper says, “The Millennium Falcon?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Steve looks at Sam, and Sam looks at Bucky, and Bucky looks at Cooper, and everyone is completely confused. There is a moment of silence while Steve and Cooper try to figure out if he’s really vain enough to use himself for that comparison and Bucky feels guilty for punching Sam that hard with his metal arm to begin with and Sam is still doubled over in pain, clutching at his hand, while he tries to wrap his mind around what just happened. And then everyone agrees silently that it’s best to just leave it alone and Bucky picks up where he left off._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You sure? Because she’s way back there and here you are over here and that’s probably not a sign of a healthy relationship.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sam guffaws._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What do you know about healthy relationships?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bucky opens his mouth to defend himself and then realizes that he has no defense, so he shuts his mouth and glowers instead._ _ _ _ _ _

______Steve’s face, to his dismay, is lit up with the ‘I have an idea’ expression that Bucky knows way too well._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No,” he says, forgetting that he’s supposed to be looking scary and making Sam leave him alone._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You don’t know anything about healthy relationships _yet _,” Steve says, “but you only need a lovely lady and a little advice to learn.”___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah,” Sam says, catching on, “and there's lots of both on this big old boat.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You sound too much like me,” Bucky gripes. “Besides, it’s not like picking a girl at random will automatically give me a healthy relationship.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Steve shrugs, and Sam just scoffs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It doesn’t have to be a _healthy _relationship. You’ve just got to have _a _relationship.”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He doesn’t expound on that, but Bucky can see the wheels in his head turning and deduces that it is now Sam’s mission in life to find Bucky a girlfriend. Great. Just great._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s not a lot of you. Oops. I got really carried away, because writing about the rest of the team from Bucky’s perspective was so ridiculously fun that I couldn’t stop myself.  
> This chapter is pretty long and a lot of it is probably unnecessary. But I wanted to establish how Bucky feels about the rest of the team, and also I wanted to make sure we were all on the same page as far as who, exactly, is on this cruise, especially because you won’t actually be meeting everyone for a little bit.  
> I’m sorry if it felt pointless and overbearing, and I’m also really sorry that you don’t even show up.  
> If you have the motivation and/or means, tell me what you thought , because even if you hated it, I’d love to know!  
> I really hope that you enjoyed it!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which we have an adorable you, an adorable Bucky, and two adorable surprise people.
> 
> ALL OF YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE BEST!!!  
> *hugs every reader ever really tightly because I honestly love you all so much*  
> *calms down*  
> Seriously though, thank you SO MUCH to every commenter. You guys make my day every time!  
> And thank you to all my beautiful readers who have stuck with me this far. I know that we’re not even very far in, but I just want you to know that I appreciate every single second you give to this silly little story. You’re all amazing!  
> *realizes that I'm babbling*  
> Sorry about that.  
> Enjoy!

You smother a yawn as you put the finishing touches on your latest drawing, a quick sketch of a little girl that you’d watched demolish an ice cream cone in record time. It was a bit difficult, because she kept turning her head to exclaim over the sea gulls and the wind and the baby that had started crying, but you managed to get a portrait that you were almost satisfied with. Admiring your work, you decide that you’ll give the final product to her parents if you ever see them again. Feeling quite pleased with yourself and with all fellow humans, you close your sketchbook and stand up, stretching a little. It’s not dark yet, but it will be in the better part of an hour, and you want to get up to the top deck to watch the sunset.

After consulting your navigational skills (which consist mainly of remembering where you watched the sun this morning and that the sun rises and sets in opposite directions), you make your way up the stairs to a position that you know will give you a good vantage point and lean against the railing. While you wait for the sky to start changing colors, you muse on the Winter Soldier and wonder if he’s thought of you at all today. You, for your part, haven’t thought about him very much. Well, not really. Pfft. No. There’s no reason for you to think about him. Which, by the flip side of the same coin, means that there’s no reason for him to think about you, and so it’s totally ridiculous that you keep catching yourself glancing towards the stairwell every time you hear a noise. You keep telling yourself that it’s not him, and that he doesn’t remember you and so of course he wouldn’t come back to watch the sunset with you. After a half an hour passes and the sun starts to tip its paint bucket across the sky and the man still isn’t there, you sigh and finally resign yourself to the fact that what you’ve been telling yourself is actually true.

You’re just starting to forget about him and lose yourself in the multi-colored sky when a husky voice whispers, “Almost as good as this morning, isn’t it?” into your ear, and you scream and clutch at your heart and try to calm yourself. There’s a sparkle in the guy’s eyes and a smirk on his lips, which surprises you, since he seemed very serious this morning. The happiness on his face is very becoming, but you refuse to let your heart be melted and try to glare at him, half serious.

“You scared the crap out of me!” you screech, still trying to calm your heart rate. He lets out a genuine laugh this time, and your heart, which was starting to slow down, stops entirely. It’s an infectious sound, and this time you smile in return. For a minute you think that he’s going to apologize for scaring you, but then he copies your pose against the railing and gazes out over the water, and you know that you’re not going to get anything else out of him. At least until the sun is finished doing its thing, anyway.

It’s just as breathtaking as this morning, but you don’t enjoy it quite as much this time around. You can’t see any other people, but you can hear them, and you don’t much like other people. They make you nervous – and with good reason, but you’re not going to think about that now. Winter (yes, you’ve nicknamed him in your head) seems tense, too, and you wonder if he doesn’t like people, either. It’s not like you’d blame him. You almost ask him, but someone laughs loudly and it sounds like it’s near you and you jump. When you turn back to him he’s looking at you.

“You don’t like people?” 

You shrug with a self-conscious chuckle.

“Ones that I don’t know make me nervous.”

“Why?” he asks, and you press your lips together as unpleasant memories flood your mind. You don’t want to burden him with anything, but you also don’t want him to feel like you’re holding out on him.

Eventually you settle for, “I’ve had some bad experiences.”

He, surprisingly, doesn’t push or pry. He just nods and says, “Oh,” in a voice that is full of understanding. But he doesn’t understand. Does he?

This train of thought makes you remember that HE has had some bad experiences. The Winter Soldier was controlled by HYDRA, wasn’t he? Oops. Next to that, your experiences don’t sound quite so bad. Maybe you look like you’re whining. Do you look like you’re whining? Will he decide that you’re not actually as nice as you –

“How… um… how was your day?” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck. You almost get mental whiplash from the abrupt change of topic, but quickly recover and make a reply.

“It was pretty nice! I, ah, I spent a lot of time up on deck.”

“I can tell,” he says, catching you off guard. You were just getting started on your tirade of words. 

“Oh?” you say, feeling a little confused. How would he know that you spent a lot of time up here? Unless… a surge of hope leaps into your throat. Was he watching you all day today?

“Yeah,” he says, reaching a hand out toward your face. Your breath catches in your throat when he touches your face, and you forget to be disappointed that he wasn’t watching you. “You’re all pink along here.” He trails a finger along your cheek, making your heart pound in your ears and even more blood rush to your cheeks. It feels like he’s leaving a line of burning skin in his wake. (Then again, that might just be the sunburn. Now that you’re thinking about it, you can feel the sun-induced heat in your cheeks. You’ll have to ask if sunscreen is included in the amenities on this ship.) 

“Oh,” you say, but you’re so flustered by his hand on your skin that even you can hardly hear yourself speaking, and he lets his hand fall (You’re not too happy at the loss of contact, but you manage to keep it together.).

“What was that?”

You clear your throat and turn your eyes and your burning cheeks back out to the sea.

“OH,” you say, and then you realize that you just said it really loudly and want to die. Why are you like this? What did you do to deserve this curse of awkwardness?

But when you look back up at him, he’s GRINNING at you. 

“Yeah,” he says, and you find yourself smiling sheepishly back at him. He’s just opening his mouth to say something else when you hear footsteps pounding on the stairs and you close your eyes in frustration. You love hearing his voice, even if you’ve only just heard it enough to recognize it. There’s something about it that sends shivers down your spine, but they’re the good kind, and you’d love to have more of them. You open your eyes just as the footsteps slow to a stop near you, and you turn your head to see who it is.

Your heart nearly stops beating for the third time today.

It’s Captain America and the Falcon.

Your face turns an even brighter shade of red when you realize that they got treated to the sight of you staring at their buddy like a lovesick puppy just now. You’re about to excuse yourself when you see that the Falcon – what’s his real name again? It starts with an ‘S’, right? – is crossing his arms and smirking at your companion like he’s just found the best dirt in the world on the man.

“Man, you could’ve just told us that you’d already found a woman!” he says. You feel pretty happy with the approval in his voice (Falcon thinks that you’re a fit companion for his friend the Winter Soldier!) but then you remember that you don’t even know the Winter Soldier’s real name.

“Oh, we’re not… he didn’t… we’re not… I don’t…” you begin to stammer, feeling even more out of your depth than you did this morning, but Captain America completely cuts you off. _Rude _. Isn’t he supposed to be super polite? You’re disappointed.__

__“I’m so happy for you, Bucky! But you could have just told me, you know,” he says with a wink, and your heart would be warmed by the obvious bromance between the two but you’re too busy processing the fact that you know the Winter Soldier’s name now._ _

__Bucky. That’s it. Bucky. On anyone else, you’d recoil in horror at the name (it sounds like it should belong to a hunting dog) but it suits him, somehow. _Bucky _.___ _

____“You found a CATCH, man,” Falcon says, sounding impressed. You would be flattered, but you’re still musing on Bucky’s name. You wonder why it sounds so attractive. But then, maybe it’s because he himself is attractive, and so anything associated with him sounds attractive by association. He holds out his hand to you with a warm smile. “Sam Wilson,” he says._ _ _ _

____“(Y/N) (L/N),” you tell him, holding out your own hand to shake his, “And no.”_ _ _ _

____“No?” he asks, sounding bewildered. “No what?”_ _ _ _

____“He doesn’t have a ‘catch,’” you inform him, and he gives an incredulous laugh while exaggeratedly eyeing you up and down. (You don’t see Bucky’s fists clench involuntarily at the gesture, but Steve does, and his eyebrows go up.)_ _ _ _

____“Oh, trust me, honey,” Sam says, “he does.”_ _ _ _

____“No, he doesn’t,” you insist. “I’m not… we’re not…” You struggle with how to say what you need to say, because you don’t want to sound like you’re rejecting Sam’s compliment (you actually appreciate it very much) or like the idea of dating Bucky is unappealing to you (it’s not). “He doesn’t… if he doesn’t… we don’t… there’s not…”_ _ _ _

____Wow. You’re incredibly eloquent. Good job, (Y/N)._ _ _ _

____“We’re not together,” Bucky says, shooting you an amused glance. You nod so hard that you feel dizzy, and Captain America and Falcon look both bewildered and a little disappointed._ _ _ _

____There’s an awkward silence (this one is so awkward that even you squirm a little) and you try desperately to think of something to say. You open your mouth, but, “You guys are great. Big fan. Great guys,” tumbles out, and you clamp your lips together, deciding that speaking was a bad decision._ _ _ _

____“Thanks, girl,” Falcon says with an easy grin. You guess that he’s used to bumbling fans._ _ _ _

____Cap looks like he’s both flattered and entertained as he says, “Thank you, ma’am.” And _there’s _the famed politeness. You’re quite satisfied with the ‘ma’am,’ but he takes it a step further and continues, “That’s very kind of you to say.”___ _ _ _

______Your grin is wide enough to split your lips and it seems to be reward enough for the three Avengers. At any rate, they’re smiling, too: Cap is wearing a broad smile, Sam has a huge grin plastered on his face, and Bucky… your heart stutters a little as you look at the smirk playing with the corners his mouth. He looks totally content, and that makes you happy. You all just watch each other smiling for awhile, until Cap, ever the gentleman (Yes, you just met him. You’re also completely convinced that he is about the nicest guy anyone could ever hope to meet) clears his throat._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well, we’re sorry for bothering you. We’ll just be on our way.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You wake up from your trance of ‘ohmigosh I just met Captain America’ and shake your head._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Not at all! You’re not bothering me at all! It was so nice to meet you! I’m probably bothering _you _. I’ve never… I’m not so good with people.”___ _ _ _ _ _

________Why did you say that? What is wrong with you?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________All three men shake _their _heads.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You’re not!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Of course you are!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sam and Cap look at each other, realize just how what they said could sound, and stumble over their words to correct themselves, and Bucky just looks surprised that you think that you’re not good with people. (That is actually exactly what he’s thinking, and there might be a few thoughts mixed in there about what a great girlfriend you’d be – at least, until he _realizes _what he’s thinking.)___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I meant that you’re not bothering us!” Cap tells you earnestly, looking horrified at the thought of you thinking that you were bothering them. You smile. He’s so nice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You’re great with people!” Sam exclaims, looking just as worried as Cap. You can’t help but break into a smile, because even though they’re rumored to be fierce and scary, so far your (admittedly limited) experiences have led you to believe that they are some of the sweetest people that have ever walked the planet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Well, thank you – both of you,” you say, feeling giddy with happiness at the fact that you’re standing here carrying on a conversation with the _Avengers _\- or some of them, anyway. “That’s very sweet of you.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Cap looks a little flustered… is he _blushing _? You just smile even wider. Who knew that Captain America was so _adorable _? Sam just grins at you, and you grin back, and you feel pretty happy with yourself. There’s another moment of silence, but it’s a little more comfortable this time. Unfortunately, it’s broken by the beep of a text alert, and Sam sends you all an apologetic smile as he slips his phone out of his pocket to check it._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Tony says it’s time for dinner,” he informs the well-muscled - _very _well-muscled – man, and turns to you. “Hey, I’m really sorry, but we’ve got to go.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“She could come, too,” Bucky says, and you look at him in surprise. He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to give out dinner invitations. And even if he was, you don’t think that you could accept. After all, these are the _Avengers _, and there’s no way that you could hang out with them. You’d probably end up tripping over Mjolnir or something.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“You could, you know,” Sam says, as if he’s reading your mind. “I bet everyone would love to meet you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You briefly entertain the thought of having a dinner party with the Avengers, and then a gust of cold air yanks you back into the real world._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Thank you so much for the invitation,” you say, “but I can’t. I… um…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“That’s okay,” Bucky says quickly. “It was just a thought.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You smile warmly at him, ignoring the flip that your stomach does at the fact that he’s thinking of you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I really appreciate it,” you say, “but…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“We understand,” Cap breaks in. “And it’s okay. It was nice meeting you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“You, too!” you all but shout, and Sam grins at your enthusiasm._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“See you later, (Y/N),” he says. You smile back at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“See you!” you answer. As you turn to leave, your gaze locks with Bucky’s, and you quickly turn around. “Um… it was really nice seeing… thanks for watching the… bye!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________And with a red face and a quick wave, you scuttle off to your room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________The three amigos start moseying toward the dining room. Sam and Steve manage to keep quiet for all of ten seconds before Sam lets out a triumphant yell._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Man, you’re getting some action already! Why didn’t you tell us about it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Because I’m not!” Bucky says defensively, face flaming. “You heard her! She’s not… We’re not…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Sam hoots with laughter, and Bucky can tell that Steve is struggling with keeping a straight face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“You’re already talking like each other! You’re so obviously into her – and she’s into you, too.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“No, I’m not!” Bucky retorts. “ _We’re _not! I met her for the first time this morning, and I first learned her name about five minutes ago! We are _clearly _…”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“You knew this girl this morning and you didn’t say anything? Dude, you should have told us, because if you’re not going to go for her then I will. She’s _fine _.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I never said I wouldn’t go for her!” Bucky snaps, and Sam’s other eyebrow shoots up, along with both of Steve’s. Bucky forces himself to calm down and says, in a much softer voice, “I don’t even know her room number, Wilson. How the heck am I supposed to ask her out if I can’t find her?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“You think that matters?” Sam asks incredulously. “Barnes, we are sitting on a ship designed by Tony ‘my middle name is technology’ Stark. Getting her location is going to be easier than turning your phone on.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Actually,” Bucky begins, and he’s planning on cracking a joke about how he’s not that great with technology and turning his phone on isn’t even that easy, but it doesn’t matter because Sam holds up a hand in his ‘stop talking now or you will not enjoy what happens next’ gesture. (In theory, Bucky could _kill _the man in less time than it would take Wilson to blink, but for some reason he’s never actually applied that principle. He’s too fond of the Falcon for his own good.)___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“No ‘actually’s,’” Sam insists. “You are going to ask this girl out, and that is final.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Bucky has not felt this helpless since his mom was shouting at him for letting Steve drink alcohol, and he turns beseeching eyes to his best friend in a silent plea for help. But Steve just holds up his hands in the same ‘I’m pretty much powerless here and your opponent actually has a pretty good point’ gesture that he used during that scolding all those years ago. “It’s not a bad idea, Buck,” the aggravating little punk says persuasively. “You need to unwind and relax - that’s the whole reason Tony brought you on this cruise, remember? – and this girl can probably help you do that. Remember how you used to love getting to know the ladies?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“No,” Bucky says rebelliously, because even though he does have many, albeit slightly foggy, memories of winning women over with his charm and good looks, he’s pretty ticked with both Sam _and _Steve right now.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“Well,” Steve begins, “maybe if…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“No!” Bucky says stubbornly. “I am _not _going to just ask her out!”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Who said anything about just asking her out?” Sam asks innocently, and Bucky shoots him a glare. The insolent man just carries on talking like he never said anything. “You’re not going to ask her out. You’re going to find out what her name is and what she likes to eat and what her favorite TV show is… and _then _you’re going to ask her out.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Bucky just growls at them and storms down the stairs, because he knows, deep down inside, that they’re right. He's going to ask you out. And he knows that it’s going to happen whether his friends pressure him into it or not._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________And he’s also looking forward to it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww! I just love it. You're so cute, and Bucky's so cute, and ahh...  
> Ahem.  
> I hope you liked reading this as much as I liked writing it! This whole 'writing stuff and having people read it' thing is just such a blast for me.  
> See you in the next chapter!  
> :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!  
> Bet you weren't expecting me to be back this quickly, were you? Well, I am, because you guys are SO INSPIRING with your comments!!! Thank you to all my fabulous commenters. You are amazing.  
> And, of course, I love all my lovely readers, and hope that you're enjoying this story so far.  
> I'm not so sure about this chapter; it's shorter and a little sub-par. I hope that you enjoy it anyway!

You wake up feeling happy. Like, really, really happy.

Yesterday you met not one, but three - _three _\- superheroes. You are so _lucky _. You wonder if you’ll see them around – and if _they’ll _see _you _. You glance at your clock to see what time it is, realizing with a jolt of surprise that it’s eight o’clock. You slept in. You wonder if Bucky went to the deck to watch the sunrise and feel guilty that you weren’t there to see him.________

________But it’s too late now, and you’re tired. You make the executive decision to stay in your room for a while and reach for the remote that you’re sure you saw last night. When your hand lands on it without even touching anything else, you let out a victorious ‘ha ha!’ because it’s very rare that you actually do things like this on the first try. Oh, you have your rare moments of awesomeness – reflexes quick enough to grab a paper before it blows away, enough agility to close the door of your bathroom stall with your foot while still catching your bag before it falls in the toilet bowl – but they’re few and far between, so you like to celebrate them when they happen. You’re just turning on the TV and scrolling through the obligatory free movies (you honestly love this ship) when there’s a knock at the door. You would let out a ‘why does my freedom have to be interrupted?’ moan, but there’s no one that would come except Melinda… or Bucky. You jump up, TV show forgotten, and fairly fly over to open the door, but all your excitement is for nothing, because it _is _Melinda.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You would be disappointed, but she’s holding a covered tray that has wonderful smells wafting off of it, and your stomach is reminding you that you didn’t eat much yesterday._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Good morning, (Y/N),” she chirps, and you smile back at her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Good morning, Melinda,” you return. “How did you sleep?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She shakes her head at you as she slides past you to set the tray down on your bed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Girl,” she says, “I’m supposed to be asking you that. You’re too nice for your own good.” As she speaks she lifts the lid off of her tray and you see sausages and bacon and eggs and toast and pancakes and even a jug of orange juice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“There is no such thing as ‘too nice,’” you scoff._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Well,” Melinda says, moving towards the door, “you keep thinking that. But when you end up having all your dreams come true, remember that warned you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You try to think of a comeback, but your stomach lets out a deafening rumble before you can think of anything. Melinda stops in her tracks and her face splits into a grin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Sounds like you need some nourishment.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You smile sheepishly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I guess I do.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She nods and moves toward the door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’ll leave you to it, then,” she says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Thank you so much, Melinda,” you smile. “You are so good to me. I’m sorry that I…” She holds up a hand, effectively stemming your flow of words._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“No apologies. Absolutely none. It’s my job, and I like my job, and you are a perfect angel who deserves the best things in life. So sit down, stuff your face, and watch your show,” she says, gesturing to the screen. When you look like you’re going to say something else, she gives you a stern glance. “And that’s an order!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You’re the best,” you tell her forcefully, wishing that there was some way to actually put your gratitude into words. “Thank you so much for everything that you do for me. I can’t tell you just how much…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________She glares at you.  
“You’re very sweet, but I just _told _you to sit down and eat.”  
Your heart swells with gratefulness and you wonder if there is any way to really express your thankfulness for the best maid the world could have to offer. If there is, you don’t know it, so you give her the biggest, cheesiest grin you can conjure up, and sink your teeth into one of the pieces of bacon. She closes the door, still shaking her head, on your moan of delight at the deliciousness.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You don’t stop smiling as you browse through the available movies, because you love having a friend. (And yes, she is your friend, even if you’ve only known her for three days. At least, you would say so, and you’re pretty sure that she would say so, too.) Burrowing back into your blankets, you take a sip of orange juice and heave a sigh of contentment. After all, Bucky has probably forgotten about you by now… and, keeping the big picture in mind, that’s probably not a bad thing. After all, who are you fooling? Even if something _did _work out between you and the (very) attractive soldier, it would never last. So you settle back onto your beautifully fluffy pillows and press ‘play,’ forcing all thoughts of Bucky out of your mind.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________While you are feeling pretty happy with your calm and peaceful morning, there’s a lot of chaos happening in the Avengers ‘common room.’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Bucky has a what?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Are you serious?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Bucky buries his face in his hands as Tony and Clint gape at Steve and Sam._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I knew this was a bad idea!” he hisses at Steve, but his ornery friend just waves him off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Yep,” Sam answers, a broad grin stretched across his face as he takes another sip of his soda. “He and this chick were just standing there, gazing into each other’s eyes.” Bucky can tell that his friend is thriving on the attention, and he rolls his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It wasn’t like that,” he begins, trying to figure out how to defend himself, but Steve just steamrollers over him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Oh, I’m pretty sure that it was,” he says, a self-satisfied smirk on his face as he crosses his arms. The little traitor._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Tony is catching Sam’s sense of mischief and general badness, and Bucky wishes that he’d taken (Y/N) some other place to watch the sun._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It sounds like true love, Buck,” he says, his own stupid grin pulling at his lips._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“As if you’d know,” Bucky mutters, and it only occurs to him after the words are out of his mouth how that might come across to someone who only recently made up with his girlfriend._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He needn’t have worried, though, because Tony just chuckles and crosses his arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It’s not like that, guys,” Bucky says with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose and resting his elbow on his hip. “She’s not even…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Ooh, yes, she is!” Tony cries happily. “Look at how you’re blushing!” Bucky contemplates how much better his life was in those good old days when he just kept his mouth shut._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Who’s blushing?” Natasha asks, slowing to a stop beside them. “What’s happening?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Bucky’s got a girlfriend!” Clint cries happily, and Bucky turns around, his mouth hanging open. When Clint had kept his mouth shut for most of the discussion, he had been absolutely sure that the archer was on his side, but now Clint just grins at his helpless stare of betrayal. Natasha, oblivious to the silent exchange between Clint and Bucky, looks like someone just told her that Christmas is coming early this year._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Bucky has a girlfriend?” she asks gleefully, and Bucky shakes his head as every other person nods. Natasha quirks an eyebrow at him, wordlessly demanding that he tell her what’s going on._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“No, Bucky does _not _have a girlfriend,” Bucky says emphatically.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“But Bucky does have a friend who is a girl,” Sam counters._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Bucky doesn’t even know where she is right now!” Bucky howls in exasperation. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Tony rubbing his hands together and turns to see a devilish grin on the billionaire’s face. “No,” he says, before Tony can even open his mouth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“But…” Tony begins, and Bucky shakes his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“No!” he says, more loudly, in case everyone missed it the last time. “We’re _just friends _, and we’re not anything more, and it’s none of your business!” He doesn’t have anything else to say, and his point feels kind of flat, anyway, so he just storms out of the room, because he’s completely done with this. If they want to be immature idiots, they can do it without him.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Everyone watches him go, but they look more delighted than concerned._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“This is gold!” Clint whoops. “The terrifying Winter Soldier is scared to talk to a girl!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Sam grins back at him. Steve, on the other hand, looks like he’s feeling guilty._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Maybe we were a little…” he begins, but before he’s finished speaking everyone is shaking their heads at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Don’t you start on that, Cap,” Tony warns. “There’s no way we’re letting this go.” Clint and Natasha nod in agreement, and Sam just keeps grinning. Cap himself, though, looks pretty unconvinced._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“But he seemed to be really…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Tony waves a hand, effectively dismissing Bucky’s feelings._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“This is for his own good,” he says, whipping out a StarkPhone. “Now, what did you say her name was?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“We didn’t,” Sam says, looking even more pleased with himself, if that’s physically possible, “but it’s (Y/N) (L/N).”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Okay,” Tony says, and his fingers are tapping against the screen so quickly that they’re almost blurs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“No,” Steve says. “I don’t think that this is a good idea.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Tony just grins, and presses a few buttons._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Come on, Cap. Since when have I ever had a bad one?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Natasha just scoffs and rolls her eyes. Sam and Clint just stare at him, wondering how he can be so full of himself that he misses the fact that he’s an idiot of the highest order. Steve has little to no tolerance for this kind of thing, and he’s giving Tony an ‘are you kidding me?’ look that would stop most people in their tracks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Tony Stark, however, is not most people, and he just keeps tapping away at his phone without even taking notice of the glare._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Steve, being the nonconfrontational gentleman that he is, very mercifully refrains from mentioning any of Tony’s past failures (which are many) and instead chooses to say, “Just… please be nice. Bucky can take any embarrassment you can dish out, but I don’t know if this girl can. And losing her will hurt Bucky more than not having her in the first place. So just…be careful, okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Steve,” Tony smirks, pushing a few more buttons on his device, “’careful’ is my middle name.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh. This won't end well.  
> Or will it?  
> We shall see. :)  
> Thank you for reading!!! I love you guys!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry about the wait. I'm trying to figure out a reasonable time to do scheduled updates, but since 'schedule' is not in my family's vocabulary, it's a little difficult. We'll see what happens. :)
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! I kind of wrote it in a hurry so I'm not super pleased with it, but I think we're starting to make the transition into the actual plot. (Took me a while to get going, didn't it?)
> 
> Happy reading!!! :)

After almost four hours of movie marathoning, you have a bit of a headache and you want to stretch your legs. Melinda, being the gem of a woman that she is, came by and picked up your tray a little while ago. The two of you had an actual conversation, because, as she’d told you with a wink, ‘your room needed some cleaning,’ and the two of you had discovered that you had all kinds of things in common. She’d admired your sketches, and you’d cooed over the photos of her nieces and nephews that she carried in her wallet. You invited her to take a stroll on the deck if she ever had some time to burn, and she told you that she could probably smuggle you into the kitchens for a backstage tour. All in all, you were feeling pretty good about yourself and your newfound closeness with Melinda. 

_However _, after three days of thriving on the brisk sea air, you’re feeling a little cooped up in your admittedly tiny cabin, and you’ve decided that a good wander on the deck is in order. (It doesn’t hurt that there’s a possibility of seeing Sam or Cap or, best of all, Bucky.)__

__You grab your sketchbook and a pencil, just in case, and slip them into the seemingly bottomless pocket of your hoodie, which you then pull over your head. Throwing your hair into a haphazard ponytail, you step out of your room and do an impromptu amateur salsa in the hallway. You calm yourself down just as a door opens and a not-Bucky-level-but-still-cute man steps out, and you congratulate yourself on your good timing when he smiles at you as you pass each other in the hall. (Granted, you look kind of like a vagabond with your slightly askew ponytail and hoodie that could probably double as a tent, and it was probably an ‘oh my, she looks like a homeless person and I should probably give her some encouragement’ smile, but hey. Does that really matter? No, it does not.)_ _

__You find a lovely little niche in between the railing and the wall, and the folding chair that you found on the deck squeezes perfectly in between said railing and wall, and you close your eyes while happily filling your lungs with salty air. After you’ve sufficiently recovered from your sea air deprivation, you open your eyes and start to draw. You saw a couple reading a book together on a bench and you want to sketch them out before they escape from your memory._ _

__

__Elsewhere on the ship, Steve, Sam, Clint, and Tony are strolling along the deck._ _

__“So, here’s what we know about the mystery girl,” Clint starts to summarize, and Steve pointedly rolls his eyes at the topic that none of his friends seem willing to let die. He’s starting to regret trying to find a girl for Bucky, if this is what it’s going to be like for the next who knows how long. Clint ignores him and keeps talking. “She’s pretty.” Sam nods emphatically at that, and Steve groans loudly at his friend._ _

__“Why do I even put up with you?” he mutters in an aside, and Sam grins unrepentantly._ _

__“Because I know how to make your bestie happy,” he says, sounding so self-assured that Steve just rubs his face in the universal gesture of ‘how am I even still here?’._ _

__“Number two,” Clint continues, pretending that Sam and Steve said nothing, “she’s awkward.”_ _

__Tony giggles and everyone looks at him strangely._ _

__“What?” he asks defensively. “I just thought that it was a little… amusing. That that’s something that would attract Winter, I mean.”_ _

__Clint looks like he thinks that it’s a legitimate point, but Sam and Steve are looking more like if Tony is going to continue in that vein they will avenge their friend’s honor – not that it was even a slight to Bucky’s honor, anyway. It was more against his taste in women. (Either way, Tony sees their faces and wisely keeps his mouth shut.)_ _

__“Number three,” Clint says, “that’s all that we know.”_ _

__Steve nods, and so does Sam._ _

__“That about sums it up,” he says, and Steve sighs. He’s about to suggest that they just drop the subject and move on to discussing the face plant Clint did at lunch as he carried Lila’s plate to the table, but a door opens in front of him and he looks up and there’s Bucky._ _

__“Barnes, my friend,” Tony starts, but Bucky has an ‘I am so not putting up with any of your crap’ look on his face, and even Tony thinks the better of it when he’s on the receiving end of a death glare from a super soldier, and he shuts his mouth. Bucky looks kind of surprised that said glare actually worked, but he also looks like he’s not going to complain, and he turns to walk the other way._ _

__Steve feels kind of guilty and wishes, for the hundredth time, that he’d had the good sense to just let poor Bucky be. Deciding that talking to his friend is more important than keeping up with his other buddies (and, besides, he can catch up to them without even breaking a sweat, no matter how far they go), he calls for Bucky to wait up and jogs to catch up with him._ _

__They walk along in silence for a while, until Steve says, “So.” He was planning on finishing that sentence, but he doesn’t know what to say, so he stays quiet and just looks at Bucky with a deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression. Bucky just looks at him blankly for a moment, and Steve feels almost as uncomfortable as he did when Bucky couldn’t remember him, but then his friend lets out a chuckle and he relaxes._ _

__“So,” Bucky says, “Stark is crazy.” He thinks about what he just said, and then he adds, “Not that that’s anything new.”_ _

__Steve laughs, and Bucky smiles._ _

__“I’m sorry about them,” Steve says, “if that helps any. Sam and Tony… they’re taking it a little too far.”_ _

__Bucky shrugs, and he looks much happier than he did a minute ago. Steve is taking that as a good sign._ _

__“It’s okay,” he says, watching as a little boy tosses a ball back and forth with his dad. It makes him wonder if Cooper would like to play catch – and it wouldn’t hurt to work on the kid’s aim. For the child of a master assassin, the boy has absolutely no coordination. “They’re just having a little fun.” A sudden grin slips over his face, and Steve looks at him curiously. “It’s not a whole lot different from what I used to do to you, is it, Stevie?”_ _

__Steve lets out a groan._ _

__“Oh, gosh, don’t remind me. Remember that brunette?”_ _

__“Which one?” Bucky smirks, and Steve gives him a punch on the shoulder._ _

__“The one… what was her name… the one with the hideous dress. Lily!”_ _

__Bucky doubles over in laughter. He remembers._ _

__“She was almost twice as tall as you!” he gasps as Steve glares at him. It wasn’t that funny seventy years ago and it’s not that funny now. “And definitely twice as wide!”_ _

__Steve can’t help but join in the laughter._ _

__“Remember how she looked at me when you introduced us?”_ _

__At this point, Bucky can hardly breathe._ _

__“She looked like she was going to run away,” he chuckles._ _

__Steve looks like he’s contemplating this remark._ _

__“I’ve always wondered why,” he said. “I wasn’t going to be able to hurt her even if I wanted to. She could have whipped my butt.”_ _

__Bucky howls with laughter at that, and Steve can hardly believe the transformation. What is even going on with his friend? Is Bucky bipolar?_ _

__“She was great,” Bucky says after a minute, finally calming down._ _

__Steve just looks at him, and when he doesn’t reply to his remark, Bucky looks back. He reads the look on Steve’s face like it’s a billboard sign (he’s always been able to do that, Steve muses) and lets out a sigh._ _

__“I know,” he says. “I’m sorry I’ve been such bad company for the last little while.”_ _

__Steve shakes his head furiously._ _

__“It’s fine, Bucky. If anyone’s entitled to some self-pity and brooding, it’s you.”_ _

__Bucky looks at his friend like he’s crazy._ _

__“Are you forgetting the fact that you lost your old girl _and _your old life in an act of self-sacrifice?” he asks. “I don’t remember you ever even thinking about yourself – let alone taking _care _of yourself – before someone else. Ever. So if anyone is actually entitled to some self-pity…”_____ _

______“But you lost your _arm _,” Steve insists. “You were controlled for almost…”___ _ _ _ _ _

________“But you’ve always had such a good attitude!” Bucky points out emphatically. “There’s no way that I could ever…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“If you hadn’t…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“If you didn’t…” The two men look at each other for a moment and then start sniggering._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“This is ridiculous,” Bucky says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It certainly is,” Steve agrees._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Anyway,” Bucky continues, “as I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted…” Steve glares at him, and Bucky suddenly sobers up, which makes Steve settle down, too. “It’s been bad for the last little while, Steve. Really bad. They…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He trails off, and there’s so much hurt and pain and guilt in his eyes that Steve is ready to pull out every head of HYDRA with his bare hands. How could they do this to him? Bucky is suffering so much, and he wants so badly to get his old life back, but he just _can’t _. He’s lost seventy years, and there’s absolutely no way to get them back. So all they can do now is gather up the pieces of Bucky’s shattered heart and try to rebuild them from scratch. Sometimes Steve just wants to cry at how much both of them have lost.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“C’mere, jerk,” he says gruffly, and pulls Bucky into a hug. It’s awkward – hugs between grown men always are – but it’s needed, and when Bucky finally yanks himself out of Steve’s arms and discreetly wipes his eyes, he looks a little less haunted and a little more ready to tackle life head on._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Thanks, punk,” Bucky mumbles, and Steve just nods at him, because there’s nothing else to say. There’s a moment of peace between them, and then they keep walking, the conversation turning to the lovely smack Natasha had given Tony’s face earlier. (He was flirting and she was annoyed, and now Tony has a bruise underneath his beard.) They wander along the deck, and the conversation ends up dying, but neither of them are sorry, because it’s peaceful, and it’s peaceful because neither of them are thinking about that the fact that Tony, Clint, and Sam have been left unsupervised._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It is _not _so peaceful where Tony, Clint, and Sam are hanging out, unsupervised. In fact, it’s a little crazy.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________It started out when Clint decided that he wanted to take an impromptu swim. (Clint does things like this all the time. They’ve all grown used to it.) Unfortunately, Clint did not have a bathing suit on, which meant that the lifeguard/pool overseer person got upset about him violating the rule which was clearly stated on the sign. Clint, of course, had not read this sign, because come _on _. He’s an _Avenger _. He is not bound by lowly rules. The lifeguard did not take this excuse well, which meant that Tony had to step in, which meant that the crowd got really excited because Tony freaking Stark was right there, which meant that Clint and Sam and Tony had to run for their lives. (Or their free afternoon, anyway.) And then they all got yelled at by an elderly man for littering when Sam had tried to throw a paper napkin into the garbage can from a distance of ten feet. (The fact that he was on his way pick it up when the man happened across them clearly did not matter to said man.) And _then _Tony just _had _to have a gigantic soft pretzel, and the teenager at the counter freaked out because there’s the man that owns this ship, and six autographs and seven hundred selfies later they are on their way to their next adventure, munching on pretzels as they walk._________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Sam is about to comment on how big this ship honestly is when Clint interrupts him. (Upon reflection, it’s a very good thing that he _did _interrupt him, because Tony’s ego definitely does not need another boost.)___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Hey, look! Stairs!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Being the overgrown six year olds that they are, they promptly decide that climbing these stairs is the best idea ever, and bound up them in single file, holding onto their pretzels with one hand and the railing with the other. (Hey, they might be earth’s mightiest heroes, but that doesn’t mean that their balance can’t be messed up. If they were Natasha, they’d probably just walk on the railing itself and get to the top without mishap, but they are not Natasha, and they have no wish to tumble to their doom if it’s preventable.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Once they reach the summit (or, in other words, the top deck) they go ‘exploring’ (i.e. walking) about._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Tony and Sam are over in one corner, so, logically, Clint needs to go explore the opposite one. He moseys over, admiring the view (he likes the ocean). He slides his hand along the rail, still gazing out at the ocean, because he likes the feel of the cool metal on his skin. He’s almost at the place where the railing joins the wall when his hand touches something warm, and he doesn’t think, he just screams._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You’re absent-mindedly stroking the railing as you wonder what the best way to draw Bucky would be when someone else’s hand touches yours and a blood-curdling shriek sounds right next to your ear. You do the only reasonable thing you can think of, which is to let out your own scream, and turn to look at your attacker._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________It’s Hawkeye. Of course it is. Why wouldn’t it be? You just shake your head at the direction in which your life is going. You’re meeting Avengers left and right, and you’re always looking like junk when you do. Why? Why couldn’t you look nice when you meet them? Just once? You let out a sigh and close your sketchbook, slipping it back into your hoodie pocket._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Sam’s head jerks up as Clint lets out a shout, and he and Tony are rushing over before they can even register what their feet are doing. (Occupational hazard of being an Avenger. You hear a noise, nine times out of ten your reflexes decide that you’re going over to investigate. The other ten percent of the time, it’s an explosion and you’re either unconscious or running _away _.)___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Turns out it’s just (Y/N)._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You look up as two more Avengers rush toward you. At least you know one of them, even if the other one is terrifyingly rich and even more terrifyingly the owner of this ship who can very possibly kick you off of it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Hi, Sam,” you say, waving. Might as well enjoy yourself while you can, and greeting an Avenger by his first name is very enjoyable._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Hey, girl!” he says, grinning at you, and you can’t help but smile back. “Did the little girl here scare you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Hawkeye scoffs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Little girl? Hardly!” He turns to you, holding out a hand. “The name is actually Clint Barton, and I am most definitely _not _a little girl. I _am _, however, practicing being a siren, just in case we end up needing one.”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________There’s absolutely no sense in what he’s saying, and it makes you laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N), and it’s okay. I am pretty scary.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Clint splutters and you smile even wider. Sam just chuckles, and Mr. Stark steps forward. Oh dear. You try not to let your panic show on your face. After all, you haven’t even really done anything wrong. Have you? No one ever said that taking someone else’s ticket, if they gave it to you – or if you won it fair and square – was against the rules. You couldn’t get in trouble for that. Could you? If you didn’t even know?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Thankfully, it doesn’t matter, because Mr. Stark doesn’t bring up your methods of gaining entry to the ship. He just holds out his own hand and says, “Tony.” He sees your face and shakes his head. “No ‘Mr. Stark’ silliness. I’m Tony.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You nod at him, shaking his hand with a smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“You heard my name, I’m sure.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________He nods, a smile spreading across his face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I have, indeed, several times.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You tilt your head at him in confusion, but Clint barrels in with an “Are you hungry?” before you can question Tony’s strange words._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Not really,” you tell him. “I… um… ate already.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________They don’t need to know that that’s a delicate way of saying that you’ve been stuffing your face all day. It’s none of their business._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Clint looks almost disappointed, but he continues with an, “Are you thirsty?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You shake your head at that, too, and he frowns._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Don’t you want anything?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I’m pretty happy right now. Thanks, though. I appreciate the concern.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I don’t see the awkwardness,” you overhear Tony whispering to Sam, and even though Sam is making furious ‘shushing’ noises, it’s too late._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Awkwardness?” you ask, feeling awkward just thinking about it. They haven’t… did Sam tell them about you?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________He looks pretty uncomfortable. He must have._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Oh, gosh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Umm…” you begin, “You see, I can be awkward sometimes, but other times I’m much better, and I don’t think that…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“There it is!” Tony says, sounding content. “I just needed to know that it existed, and now I do, so we’re all good.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________At this point you are thoroughly confused and completely ready to start asking questions, but Sam holds out a hand to help you up from your chair and you accept it, feeling so flustered that Falcon himself is helping you stand up that you forget to ask _why _you’re standing up.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Let’s go for a walk,” he says, answering your question before you ask it. “There’s someone who would like to see you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You now know... *counts on fingers* FIVE Avengers!!! Isn't that exciting??? 
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! I had fun writing it. :) 
> 
> Let me know if you have any ideas or things that you would like to see happen! I'll see if I can work them in. :)
> 
> Have a great rest of your day!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm... Hey, guys!
> 
> Let me start out by saying how very, extremely, ridiculously sorry I am for not posting before now! I feel terrible about the lengthy wait, and I am so sorry. Please don't hate me.
> 
> I have Bucky goodness to appease you with! I mean, we don't get a whole lot of action but there's a whole lot of looking and I feel like that is something.
> 
> I am just really sorry. 
> 
> Enjoy!!!

You trail along behind the boys, feeling uncertain. Your mind is flooded with questions. Who is Sam dragging you along to see? Do you even know this person? Is it another of the Avengers? Is it Thor?

Is it Bucky?

The thought puts a spring in your step and you feel much happier as you follow Clint around a corner. After all, they like you… right? They wouldn’t introduce you to a mass murderer who enjoys shooting people. Their job description, as Avengers, is protecting the world, and you, as a human, are part of the world, so technically it’s their job to protect you. You’re safer than if you were locked in your room.

Thinking these thoughts distracts you so much that you run into Clint when he makes a sudden stop. Rubbing your nose, which got smooshed into Clint’s back, you apologize profusely, but he just waves off your apology and points to the left.

And there’s Bucky. 

Your breath catches in your throat, because you forgot how gorgeous he was, and you don’t even notice that you’re staring at him as you… stare at him. Were his eyes always that stunning? Was his hair always that beautifully tangled? Did he always have that face that looked even better than anything you could come up with?

Yes, actually, he did, but that’s beside the point.

You are so caught up in his breathtaking handsomeness that you don’t notice that he looks almost as affected as you. You also miss the fact that Tony is nudging Clint and Clint is high-fiving Sam. And _they _miss the fact that Steve is giving them a look that is kind of a mix of ‘murderous glare’ and ‘immense approval.’ Which he is. And then he looks back at Bucky and the look changes to total fondness and just a little bit of playful exasperation. (The total fondness is because Bucky looks so happily smitten, and the exasperation is because Bucky looks so stupidly smitten. The grin that is plastered on his face is the one that Steve calls ‘the idiot grin.’)__

__Everyone stares at each other for what feels like hours but is really only thirty seconds, and then Steve says, “Hi, (Y/N)!” and you jerk yourself out of your trance._ _

__“Hi, Captain…” You trail off at the frown he gives you. “Um, I mean, Steve…” You can’t leave it there. You physically cannot. “Mr. Cap…” That doesn’t sound right, either. You are totally messing this up. “Rogers…” Oh, good grief. “Sir.”_ _

__Well, that could have gone a lot better, you think glumly as Tony cracks up beside you and Sam just rolls his eyes and Clint looks a little confused. Steve just stares at you in disbelief before bursting into laughter himself._ _

__You feel yourself turning red and bury your face in your hands. You’re about to lift your head and apologize when a low voice murmurs, “It wasn’t that bad,” beside you._ _

__You know that voice._ _

__You lift your head, forgetting that since you’re embarrassed _and _you were just applying a lot of pressure to your skin, you’re bound to be redder than a first-prize tomato by this point, and give Bucky a sheepish grin.___ _

____“I guess not,” you agree. “But, still, I’m sure that just about anyone else could have done a lot better.”_ _ _ _

____He chuckles._ _ _ _

____“Most people do a lot worse. Trust me.”_ _ _ _

____You smile, because he seems to want to cheer you up and the fact that he wants to cheer you up cheers you up more than his methods._ _ _ _

____“Well… thanks.”_ _ _ _

____He looks confused._ _ _ _

____“For what?”_ _ _ _

____“I just…” Your mind is pulling up a blank. You can’t think of anything to say. Oh, great. “You… that’s nice to hear. I think. Thank you. Unless you didn’t mean for…”_ _ _ _

____Now he looks amused, and you blush furiously. Talking to this man is absurdly difficult._ _ _ _

____Thankfully, you are spared any further humiliation by Sam asking Steve and Bucky if they are hungry. Both men nod, and you consider the fact that since their metabolism is so fast (yes, you got some books from the library and did the research. You were bored one day, okay?) they must be hungry a significant amount of the time._ _ _ _

____Someone saying your name yanks you out of your mind and you look at Sam blankly._ _ _ _

____“Sorry, what?”_ _ _ _

____He sighs dramatically and you smile._ _ _ _

____“I asked,” he says, pretending to be exasperated, “if you wanted to come and eat with us, too.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh,” you breathe, and ponder the implications of eating dinner with the Avengers. You might meet more. You might embarrass yourself terribly. You might fall down on the stairs and break your neck or, worse, spill your soup all over Bucky. (You have no idea if you’re going to be eating soup, or what you’re going to be eating at all, but knowing yourself and your own clumsiness, that is definitely a possibility.)_ _ _ _

____Are you willing to take the risk?_ _ _ _

____Of course you are. You love living on the edge._ _ _ _

____“I’d love to!” you exclaim with a smile, and you don’t see Bucky’s face light up. Clint does, though, and shakes his head. That boy has got it bad._ _ _ _

____“Well, then, lead the way, Tony,” Sam says, grinning at you to let you know he’s pleased with your decision. You feel a wave of happiness at the realization that he likes you. In fact, _all _of them do. Steve seems to enjoy your company, and Tony has been winking at you the whole time you’ve been with them. Clint has told you stories of his children, and Sam has told you that he doesn’t talk about his kids to just anybody. Sam himself has been grinning at you every time you make eye contact, and you’ve been grinning back. And Bucky puts up with you, even though you’ve been spouting stupid things ever since you first met him. You let out a sigh of contentment. You have successfully made friends with Captain America, Iron Man, Hawkeye, Falcon, and the Winter Soldier – and you’ve only been on the ship for four days! Clearly, you are capable of conquering the world.___ _ _ _

______You skip along behind Steve, not even minding the weird looks that are coming your way from several patrons of the pool. You don’t care. If they’re too dim to even notice the fact that, underneath the baseball caps and sunglasses, these five well-built men are _Avengers _, they’re not worth wasting worry on. Your on-top-of-the-world mood lasts until you reach the doorway to what you assume is the Avengers’ dining hall, going by the sign that says ‘RESERVED: DO NOT ENTER – RESTRICTED AREA.’ It seems like a very redundant sign, but you suppose that since the people that you’ve encountered so far haven’t been bright enough to put together the blond hair and the built like a wall muscles and come up with Captain America, they need a lot of repetition to understand. (Not that you’re judging! It’s perfectly fine that they can’t figure out that it’s Captain America and that they need a little bit of help understanding that they’re not supposed to enter a room. You’re sure they’re very nice people, anyway.)___ _ _ _ _ _

________Tony pushes the door open, and you feel the shiver of anticipation that you always get when you enter a restricted area. (Your theory is that it stems from when you were little and longed for nothing more than to go into a ‘do not enter’ region, but you have no idea, to be honest.) Your excitement does not go unrewarded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It’s _huge _. You have a wild urge to spin around in rapture like you’ve just had an epiphany, but you restrain yourself. As you follow your little group along, you admire the long salad bar-type tables. They’re empty right now, but you can tell that when they’re full there’s enough food to feed an army. There are chairs set up along one end of the wall – kind of like in a café – in addition to some lovely little booths. You wish that you had your drawing pad and that it was a real café. That would be a perfect place to sit and sip a coffee and sketch the patrons that were frequenting the establishment. At the other end of the room there’s a… you’re not sure what it is. It looks like a mini gym/playground, but you’re not one hundred percent sure. There’s also something that appears to be a gaming console, and you have a mental image of the Avengers sitting around playing Mario and have to choke back a laugh.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“So this is our spot, (Y/N),” Tony says grandly, waving an arm around like he owns the place. (Which makes sense, because he does.) He pulls out a chair from one of the tables and plops down unceremoniously, and the rest of you follow suit. “What do you think?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You don’t even know how to describe your amazement._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“It’s… really big.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sam snorts._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“No kidding.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I like it, though!” you add hastily, noting that Tony looks a bit disappointed that you’re not in raptures. You kind of are… just on the inside. “It’s really, really nice. It would be a nice place to…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You trail off, not sure if you want them to know about your little drawing habit. Saying that you’re trying to make a career out of art is like saying that you’re a dreamer, and you’re not certain that that’s something the Avengers, who are probably the most realistic people in the world. They’ve seen all the bad things that humanity is capable of, and saying that you’d like to sell your drawings for a living might sound pathetic. So you don’t say anything, and you can tell that Steve is getting ready to question you when the door opens and someone walks in._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It’s the Vision and the Scarlet Witch._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You can almost feel your eyes lighting up. You’ve always wanted to meet the computer that turned into a robot man, and the story of the girl from Sokovia has always touched you deeply. You straighten up in your chair. For some reason, you want to look professional._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You’d feel very unprofessional if you knew that Clint was laughing at you for the swift change in position, and Clint would feel guilty if you felt bad, so it’s a good thing that you don’t know about it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The two see the group and start to head over, smiles on both their faces (you think. You’re not sure what passes for smiling on an Android). When they see a newcomer, though, they slow down. The Scarlet Witch, especially, looks quite hesitant as she approaches._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________When they reach their table, you smile at them in what you hope is a reassuring manner._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Meet (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” Tony says nonchalantly. “(Y/N), this is...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He trails off suddenly, looking at them uncertainly. You can tell that he’s not sure if he should introduce Scarlet Witch by her real name or her superhero one. There’s an awkward moment of silence while they all wait for someone to say something, and then…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Wanda Maximoff,” the girl says firmly, and you can’t stop the huge smile that takes over your face. She seems to trust you, and that makes you feel overjoyed. (Plus, you _love _her accent.)___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Pleasure to meet you, Wanda,” you say, giving her a little wave. She smiles back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You, too.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________A cleared throat beside you makes you jump, and you turn to see Tony looking at Clint with a ‘what?’ face on. It’s obvious that Clint thinks that Tony should know exactly what he’s thinking, and it’s equally obvious that Tony has no clue. With a long-suffering sigh, Clint says, “And this is the person Tony _should _be introducing, because he’s basically his dad, so…”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“No, I’m not!” Tony inserts._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Not what?” Clint asks. This time it’s Tony’s turn to give him a look. This one is less ‘come on you know what I’m saying,’ and more ‘oh my gosh are you even kidding me we were literally just talking about this.’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“His father,” Tony says, speaking slowly and clearly like Clint is a little kid. “That would be Ultron.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Clint now looks thoroughly befuddled. Sam and Wanda both have their heads in their hands, matching ‘why me?’ looks on their faces. Steve looks unamused, and Bucky looks like he’s witnessing the beginning of the end._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________The Vision himself looks uncomfortable to be the center of attention like this, and so you ignore the bickering that’s going on and whisper, “Hello.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He looks at you like you’re the savior of his life and says, “It’s very nice to meet you, Miss (Y/L/N).”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Oh, please,” you say, forgetting to speak softly so as to not interrupt the argument, “I’m just (Y/N). None of this ‘Miss’ business.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________The robot man smiles at you (and this time you _know _that it’s a genuine smile) and extends his hand for you to shake.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“And I am simply ‘Vision,’” he informs you as you grasp his fingers with yours. You’re not sure what you were expecting his skin to feel like, but it wasn’t this. It almost feels like mesh stretched over someone who’s been out in the cold too long… but that could just be you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“How are you enjoying the voyage, Vision?” you ask him. You said ‘voyage’ instead of ‘cruise’ because ‘voyage’ sounds more intelligent and Vision basically is the internet so he knows everything and you don’t want to look _too _stupid to him. He smiles even more widely (if that’s even possible).___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Very much, (Y/N),” he tells you. “I particularly take pleasure in observing the passengers.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“People watching is pretty fun,” you agree, and you can’t see it but Vision now officially thinks that you’re the best person ever._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Bucky agrees. He’s been watching you introduce yourself to Vision and he can’t seem to stop smiling at how kind you are. You’re treating the Android like a normal person, and he knows that that’s something Vision craves. It’s not like he and the robot talk a lot, but Bucky wasn’t an assassin for seventy years without picking up some skills – like learning things about people quickly. He knows that it bothers Vision to get treated like a rarity or an oddball, but you’re chatting away like Vision is the most normal and yet fascinating person you’ve ever met._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Vision is basking in the glow, and Bucky officially thinks that you’re the most wonderful girl in the world._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Steve notices, too. He’s been watching his friend watch you ever since you joined the group earlier today, and he’s not displeased with the grin that’s been stuck on Bucky’s face the whole time. He has a good feeling about you. Some of Bucky’s choices in women have been… well, definitely not selfless, and definitely not demure. But you… you haven’t really mentioned yourself once since he’s met you, and you blush more than you speak. He approves. He definitely approves of his friend’s infatuation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Now to get Bucky to do something about that smittenness._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________It can’t be that hard, right?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that was it. Yeah. Sorry.
> 
> Hope that you enjoyed it, anyway!
> 
> Next update shouldn't take more than a couple of days... four, at the most. 
> 
> Note that is entirely unrelated to the story: If you haven't watched Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., you totally should, because it's amazing. I am binge watching it at the moment because I didn't start watching it until a couple of months ago, and it is killing me but it is the death I would have chosen. But, I mean, it's completely up to you and your schedule. I'm just telling you that it's amazing. :)
> 
> Anyway, yes, I am so, so, so sorry, and I hope that you don't hate me too much. And, also, if there's a repeat of an A/N I did before... If you would be so kind as to just ignore it, I'd be much obliged, because I have no idea how to deal with ornery technology. 
> 
> I love you guys so much! I'm so sorry!
> 
> Have a fantabulous rest of your day/night. :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha! I'm back again! Two days in a row!  
> I'm way more proud of myself than I probably should be, but whatever.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! I've gotten a little bogged up, and this and the next few chapters might feel very drawn out, and I'm sorry about that. Please bear with me. Things will get a little more lively in a little bit, I promise!  
> Enjoy!

You’re currently talking to Wanda about the pros and cons of different fast food restaraunts, and it is arguably the best conversation you have ever had. 

You and she started talking after Vision moved on to trying to persuade Tony that no one was accusing him of anything (He couldn’t calm the billionaire down. In the end, Steve had to step in and assert firmly but kindly that Tony was absolutely fine and no one hated him but that he would not be fine and people might hate him if he didn’t knock it off. You didn’t exactly approve of Steve’s methods, but you couldn’t dispute the fact that they worked, so you decided to simply stay out of it.), and you haven’t stopped talking since. She’s told you about life in Sokovia, and you’ve cried with her over her parents and Pietro and you’ve listened to countless stories about how her brother was crazy but had a soft and kind heart deep down – really deep down, sometimes, she added, laughing. You joined her, marveling at her great strength. She’s been through so much, and yet she can still laugh. 

You’re in the middle of telling her how amazing she is and she’s in the middle of laughing and blushing and thanking you all at once when Steve interrupts your conversation and asks if you’d like anything to drink.

“I’d like some iced tea,” Wanda says immediately. 

You grin at her and then cringe when Cap looks back at you expectantly. Making decisions has never been your strong point.

“Umm…” you hem and haw and then get freaked out about how long you’re taking, even though it’s only been roughly five seconds. “Can I have an iced tea too, please?”

“Of course,” Steve says with an easy smile and you smile in return.

“Thank you!” You and Wanda say in unison, and Steve walks away as you both burst out laughing. 

“What was that?” she asks you when you two have calmed down. “Why did you get so upset?”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” you say, pushing the thoughts that the question evokes to the back of your mind. 

“Nothing that being a copycat couldn’t fix,” Wanda retorts, sounding righteously indignant, and you’re not sure why that strikes you as funny, but it does, and you chuckle.

“Quick, easy, and effortless! Just steal your friend’s order!” you do your best impression of a TV announcer, and she laughs, too, apparently forgetting about your minor freakout. You let out a sigh of relief and then ask her another question to keep her attention off of you.

Your conversation goes on for another twenty minute, and then Vision comes over. He sees that Wanda’s glass is empty, and asks her if she will come sit with him. 

“Of course!” she says with a smile, before turning to you, looking worried. “You don’t mind, do you?”

You shake your head.

“Not at all! It was so nice to talk to you!”

She smiles broadly.

“It was nice to talk to you, too! I… thank you.”

And with a little wave, she’s on her way. You’re just swirling the straw around in your tea, admiring the miniature whirlpools, when Vision whispers a quiet, “Thank you for being so kind, Miss… (Y/N).”

He’s gone before you can say ‘you’re welcome,’ and you’re left smiling stupidly to yourself. You love making people happy. It makes _you _happy – happier than anything else can make you, really. You watch Wanda laugh at something Vision said as he escorts her to a booth and you feel something warm and fuzzy and beautiful. It’s wonderful to see how they get along, and how happy she is. When she was talking about Sokovia and her family and childhood, you saw the pain stream back into her eyes. You saw how just thinking about it made the carefully constructed walls come tumbling down and all the emotions come rushing back. And it broke your heart to see her hurting like that, but you knew that there was nothing you could do beyond listening to her tell her story. So you did that, and you could tell that it had helped. Letting even some of the pent-up emotions out had helped. By the time she was done speaking, she didn’t look quite so haunted.__

__You’re pulled from your reverie by the door bursting open and a flood of people pouring in._ _

__Well, it seemed like a flood of people at first. Upon closer inspection, you realize that there are really only six people: a kind-looking woman, three children (you assume they’re hers, since she is carrying the baby on one hip and shouting at the other two to slow down), a flaming redhead that you promptly recognize as Black Widow, and a timid-looking man (you quickly identify him as Bruce Banner)._ _

__The kids (there was a boy who appears to be about thirteen, a girl that looks nine-ish, and another boy who can’t be more than two) rush (well, the toddler just squirms in his mother’s arms until she let him down, and then waddles) over to the gym/playground. You can’t contain a smile. So _that _is what the playground is for!___ _

____The adults are heading towards you, and you set your empty glass down on the table and brace yourself for more new people._ _ _ _

____You are surprised (and that’s putting it mildly. You’re really more like shocked) to see Clint striding over to the kind-looking woman and planting a firm kiss on her mouth. Your eyebrows go up, which makes Steve chuckle._ _ _ _

____“Laura is Clint’s wife,” he explains. You nod mutely, still a little stunned. Clint’s wife breaks the kiss that Clint pulled her into and smacks him on the chest._ _ _ _

____“Not in public!” she scolds. “We agreed!”_ _ _ _

____Clint doesn’t look like he cares. She turns to you and holds out a hand with an apologetic smile._ _ _ _

____“I’m sorry about that,” she says. “He… can be a bit of a handful.” She glares at him playfully and he grins unrepentantly, wrapping his arm around her waist. “I’m Laura, and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”_ _ _ _

____“It’s no problem,” you say, smiling back at her. “I understand. I’m (Y/N), and the pleasure is all mine.”_ _ _ _

____Without missing a beat, Tony jumps in._ _ _ _

____“And this is Bruce!” he says, waving a dramatic hand towards the man standing at the very edge of the group. “Bruce, meet (Y/N).”_ _ _ _

____The doctor (you know he’s a doctor because you’ve done your research) holds out _his _hand (you’re getting so many handshakes today) and smiles shyly.___ _ _ _

______“Hello,” he says quietly. “Like he said, I’m Bruce Banner.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Your heart melts. You love shy, adorable guys. They’re not your ‘type,’ but you just want to hug them and make them smile. (Yes, you are bizarre. No, you do not care.)_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hi!” you return. “I’m (Y/N), and it’s very nice to meet you. I’m a huge fan of your work.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You are. You’ve read countless science magazine articles about Dr. Banner’s research, and you find all of it intriguing. He seems to appreciate the fact that you’re interested in what he’s had to say, and he’s about to say something else when _Sam _interrupts.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“And this lovely lady over here is Natasha.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Black Widow steps forward and gives you a brisk nod._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Natasha Romanoff,” she says, and that’s all she says, but you are absolutely positive that you wouldn’t want to be on her bad side – and you’re pretty sure that you’d feel this way even if you hadn’t seen all the footage of her taking down armed men with only a napkin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“(Y/N) (Y/L/N),” you return, and you think that you see a flicker of amusement in her eyes but you could be wrong. Either way, she nods at you again and then gets absorbed in a conversation between Sam and Steve. You watch in fascination as her eyes light up and she totally relaxes. She feels so comfortable with those two. You can tell that they’re close, even though you haven’t been watching them for very long. Dr. Banner watches them, a small smile playing on his lips as he watches Na – Miss Romanoff (something in you rebels at calling her by her first name) snicker at something Sam said. You can tell that he’s smitten, and it warms your heart._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Clint and Laura are over in a booth pressed very close together. You smile to yourself. You love watching married couples be in love. There’s something about it that just makes you happy. Of course, you muse, turning your attention to Vision and Wanda, who are still sitting at their little table and talking earnestly, you like seeing _un _married couples being in love, too.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________A burst of laughter catches your attention and you look back to the little group composed of a super soldier, a falcon, a doctor, and an assassin, who have now been joined by a billionaire. Said billionaire apparently just said something hilarious._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You smile. It’s nice to see them all so close, and the knowledge that the team of superheroes that is protecting the world is really a _team _is reassuring.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________However, you are not part of this team, and you’re about to slip out of the door and back to the real world when a hesitant voice stops you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Hey.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You turn to face Bucky with a smile, trying not to let him see what a jolt just went through you simply from hearing his voice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Hi,” you say._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The two of you people-watch together for a minute before Bucky says, “You seemed surprised to see that Barton’s married.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I was,” you laugh. “I didn’t see that coming.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He nods, a smile playing over his lips._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Neither did I, the first time I met him. I thought that for sure he and Romanoff were a thing, but they’re just really good friends.” You nod, not wanting him to stop talking. “Those are his kids over there,” Bucky continues, and you look over at the three children, less surprised than last time but surprised nonetheless._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You’re quiet, thinking, and then all of a sudden you smile, and Bucky smiles back, which makes your heart skip a beat. (He returned your grin without even thinking. Something about you just makes him happy, he supposes.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“So Hawkeye’s a family man,” you say. “Does anyone else have any secret wives or offspring?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Bucky laughs, and you almost stop breathing. Does the man even know how devastatingly attractive he is? It’s just not fair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Well, Tiny Dude has a daughter, but you haven’t met him, yet.” You shake your head, inwardly puzzled. Tiny Dude? Is that Ant-Man? Before you can ask, Bucky goes on. “And Tony is dating Pepper, his CEO, but you probably knew that. He’s not exactly subtle about it.” You hide a smile, and try not to squeal. He’s talking! He’s talking a lot! You did it! “Thor – you haven’t met him either, I guess – ” you nod in confirmation – “has been going out with Jane for forever, but since you haven’t met him that doesn’t really matter to you, I guess.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You chuckle. “Guess not.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He smiles back at you and continues with his speech on the Avengers’ love lives, which you are thoroughly enjoying. “Steve is with Sharon Carter – she’s a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, and you’ll probably meet her soon.” Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Captain America has a girlfriend? As soon as they go public, there will be millions of broken hearts across the nation. “Sam doesn’t have anybody, but he goes on lots of dates. Steve and I have a bet going on as to how long it’ll take him to settle down with anybody.” You smile. From what you know of him, that certainly fits Sam’s personality. “Vision and Wanda aren’t official yet, but there’s something going on there.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I thought so!” you say triumphantly, forgetting that you’re interrupting Bucky’s narrative. Luckily, he doesn’t mind, and he just nods at you before resuming._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“It’s the same thing with Banner and Romanoff.” You must have unconsciously flinched when he said Romanoff, because his lips suddenly twist into a smirk, which nearly sends you into cardiac arrest. You recover yourself in time to listen to what he’s saying, “Sorry if she scared you. She can be a little intimidating.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You snort._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Tell me about it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He looks at you blankly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I just did.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You quickly swallow the laugh that rises to your throat and nod._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Um, yes, you did.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He looks at you strangely. You look back at him strangely. (If he can dish it out, he can take it. that’s how it works… at least in your book.) And then, suddenly, he’s laughing, and you’re laughing, and you laugh together (albeit quietly) until your stomachs hurt. And he looks at you and you look at him, and he says, “Do you want to take a walk?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And you say, “I would like to take a walk.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And he laughs again and he pushes himself off of the counter he’s been leaning against and shoves his hands in his pockets as he starts for the door. You follow him, grinning like someone handed you the moon._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You’re going for a walk._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooh...  
> I love you and Bucky so much. You guys are just the cutest.  
> Hope you liked it! Let me know if you have any criticism or ideas that you'd like to share.  
> See you next time!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, my darling readers!
> 
> This is mostly a filler chapter, if I'm being brutally honest. I'm sorry about that. 
> 
> I hope that you're not too bored!
> 
> Enjoy!!! :)

“And then,” Bucky says, “Steve tripped over his own shoelace and face-planted into the mud puddle.”

You can hardly breathe, you’re laughing so hard, but eventually your lungs remember how to work and you straighten yourself up (it’s hard to stand properly when you’re not getting enough oxygen) and shake your head in amusement, watching the waves play with each other.

“Sounds like he was quite the kid.”

“Oh, he was,” Bucky agrees, and his tone is soft and fond. He’s looking ahead, but you can tell that he’s not looking at the sky and the waves. He’s looking at a little kid from Brooklyn, the one that wheezed when he laughed and never ran from a fight, no matter how unbeatable the odds. “He sure was.”

You don’t say anything. You don’t want to break the spell. Bucky looks so happy, so extremely happy as he remembers the days before HYDRA, before the metal arm, before the blood and the red ledger, and there’s no way that you’ll take that away from him.

But all things must end, and eventually Bucky looks at you. His face is still soft, but his eyes aren’t. The laughter is gone, replaced with a pain that knocks the breath out of you. How much must he have suffered? What unspeakable torment has he undergone?

You don’t get to find out, because he smiles before you can ask, and when you look back at his eyes (his lips were terribly distracting as they formed a smile) he looks okay again. Not as happy as he was when he was living in the Brooklyn days, but happy, nonetheless. You smile back at him, pleased that he’s not going to let himself dwell on bad memories, and listen as he tells you about how they have recently been playing pranks on Stark... er, Tony. He’s just recounting their latest adventure – which involved a coffee maker, a cell phone, and a doorbell – when someone comes up behind you.

You turn around, and it’s Sam.

“Hey!” you smile, and pat the railing beside you, inviting him to come and ‘hang out.’ (You’re using mental quotation marks because after talking to Bucky you feel like _you _don’t understand modern lingo.) He smiles back and saunters up to stand beside you.__

__“Steve got nervous,” he says. “Thought you two had run off.”_ _

__“Well,” you muse, “in a way, we kind of did.”_ _

__Sam shrugs._ _

__“That’s true, but I think he was a little more worried about… well… never mind.” He starts back to the dining hall, and then turns back and tells Bucky (who’s been silent this whole time), “Cooper’s asking for you.” And then he continues on his way._ _

__You watch in amazement as the blank expression that slipped over Bucky’s face as Sam approached gives way to a much softer and more fond one._ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__He pushes himself off of the railing and starts inside, pausing when he realizes that you aren’t following._ _

__You aren’t following because you’re feeling very unsure. Should you go back in? You had an afternoon with the Avengers, which was amazing, but surely they don’t want you here. You’re not a hero or a genius or super rich. And, besides, you’re probably bothering Bucky. You should probably go._ _

__“You coming?”_ _

__Or not. You smile delightedly, and if you didn’t know better you’d say that he looks happy. But you know better. Or, at least, you know that you don’t know the man himself well enough to tell whether or not he’s happy. So you just feel very content at the look on his face and speedwalk to catch up with him, slowing down as he starts walking, too. The two of you fall into the same step like you’ve been doing it all your life, and you feel a little bubble of totally irrational but still very real happiness at that fact._ _

__When you get to the door, Bucky holds it open, and you feel almost giddily in awe of what a gentleman he is. Feeling like a princess, you do a little (and probably totally incorrect) curtsy and say, “Thank you, kind sir,” in what is meant to be a sophisticated and upper-class voice._ _

__Judging by his poorly restrained snicker and exaggerated bow, you did not achieve the dignified grace you were aiming for, but he smiled, which you feel is sufficient compensation for your public humiliation. (But, really, no one was watching, and if they had been, no one would have cared, so it really wasn’t a public humiliation.)_ _

__You enter the dining room, and Bucky apologetically says that he should probably go and see what Cooper needs. You tell him that it’s fine and thank him for the conversation, and he gives you a half smile that almost stops your heart and then leaves, and you suddenly feel just a little overwhelmed._ _

__There are a more people than when you left the room._ _

__Tony Stark’s CEO, Pepper Potts, is sitting next to him, laughing and swatting at his arm at regular intervals._ _

__Clint and Laura have migrated over to the playground and are playing with their youngest baby, which is such a sweet image that you can’t help but melt a little bit… and then giggle as Clint moves Nathaniel’s hands so that it looks like he’s shooting a tiny bow and Laura smacks him for it._ _

__Sam and Steve are chatting in the corner, with matching beers in their hands and grins on their faces._ _

__Wanda and Vision are still talking, but they’ve moved on to playing with… is that _fire _?___ _

____You hurriedly jerk your eyes away from Wanda’s table – whatever she’s doing, she’s technically an adult and she’s also in a room full of other adults and anyway it’s her business – and let them scan the crowd. Romanoff is talking to Doctor Banner, and she looks exponentially happier than you’ve ever seen her. It’s not like you’ve seen very much of her, but you still know enough to notice that she is totally smitten. It’s a surprisingly adorable scene, made even better by the fact that Doctor Banner is looking more tender than you would have thought possible. He’s always looked intimidated and slightly intimidated in the interviews and magazines that you’ve managed to examine. You think that it’s nice that they can soften each other up like that, and more than a little beautiful._ _ _ _

____Other than that, the room remains the same. Except…_ _ _ _

____There’s a guy that you’ve never seen before sitting at a table, and he’s got a little girl sitting next to him. Is this Scott Lang… Ant-Man? The guy with the daughter?_ _ _ _

____You reason that there’s only one way to find out and wander over to his table._ _ _ _

____“Is this seat taken?”_ _ _ _

____The man looks up in surprise._ _ _ _

____“Um… no. No, it’s not.”_ _ _ _

____“Great!” You smile at him as you park yourself in the only available chair, and he just looks confused. You wince. This was not the impression you wanted to make. “I’m sorry, Mr. Lang. I didn’t mean to come across as creepy. I just thought that it would be amazing to meet you. I’m a big fan of yours.”_ _ _ _

____Okay, maybe that wasn’t fair. It’s not like you even really knew who he was until you talked to Bucky. But you really want to get to know everyone, because this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. You’re mentally berating yourself when you glance over, bracing yourself for an unimpressed ‘get outta here’ glare. You are pleasantly surprised to see that he actually looks very pleased._ _ _ _

____“You… uh… you know who I am?”_ _ _ _

____You gape at him, like anyone would know him with their eyes half-shut. In reality you’re just trying to keep his ego happy so that he doesn’t send you away from his table in disgrace. And, of course, you really do know who he is and you want him to feel really good about himself. You’re a very nice person._ _ _ _

____“Of course I do! Ant-Man is one of my favorite Avengers!”_ _ _ _

____That, in fact, is true. You’ve always loved the idea of a shrinking man… if only because of your childhood wish to be able to get really small and play in your miniature dollhouse. But that’s not the point here. Mr. Lang looks beyond happy at this point._ _ _ _

____“Um… wow. That… that’s nice to hear. It’s nice to meet you.”_ _ _ _

____You smile back at him and say, “It’s good to meet you, too. And it’s wonderful to meet _you _,” you continue, turning your attention to the girl who is, presumably, his daughter. She blushes and smiles, and you don’t see it but Scott is completely ready to let you do whatever you want at this point. You know who he was and you like his daughter. That’s about all he wants anyone to do. “I’m (Y/N). What’s your name?” you ask the girl.___ _ _ _

______“Cassie,” she says, smiling. You smile back at her._ _ _ _ _ _

______“That’s a pretty name,” you tell her sincerely._ _ _ _ _ _

______“My dad picked it out,” she informs you. “My mom kind of wishes that he hadn’t.” Noting your confused expression, she explains, “They’re divorced, and she thinks that he should have picked a more serious name. She thinks that most of what he does is stupid.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Oh. Goodness. That was unexpected. You glance at Scott out of the corner of your eye, hoping to find a cue as to how you should react, but he’s just rubbing his forehead with his hand, looking like he wishes that Cassie could have found it in her heart to say something else – anything else._ _ _ _ _ _

______Totally unbeknownst to you, most of the people in the room heard that last comment (Cassie has a voice that carries well), and they are all watching, waiting to see what you’re going to say next. This is a make or break moment, and you have no idea. Most of them want you to say something to make everyone feel better, because this is an awkward silence and it’s unenjoyable, but everyone wants you to say something that makes it obvious that you are worth keeping around._ _ _ _ _ _

______There’s a minute of uncertainty in which you rack your brains and try to think of something to say, but in the end you come up blank and decide to wing it._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Maybe your mom feels confused and angry sometimes. I know that when I’m angry I say things that I don’t mean.” Cassie nods in agreement and you let out a little of the breath you’ve been holding. Deciding that saying more would probably be a good idea, you continue, “I’m pretty impressed with most of what your dad does. What do you think?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Her eyes light up and she beams at you._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I think he’s amazing. Do you really think so, too? A lot of people say…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You don’t let her finish. You lean over so that the two of you are eye to eye and you say, “It doesn’t matter what other people say. You _know _your dad, and you and I both know that he’s one of the most awesome people ever, so it doesn’t matter what anyone else _says _. Right?”_____ _ _ _ _ _

__________She looks delighted with this response and nods emphatically._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Right,” she agrees, and you smile at her, sitting back up in your chair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Scott is gazing at you with such adoring eyes that Tony mutters to Pepper that Hope had better watch out. Pepper just chuckles, because she’s seen the way Bucky has been looking at you and she knows that he’ll have a very big something to say about anyone else trying for your favor._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Romanoff looks like she has a lot more respect for you, and Banner is smiling. (Cassie has wormed her way into the hearts of all of the team, and he’s gratified to see her being told that her opinions are important.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Laura is smiling, and Clint is whispering, “I told you she was awesome,” in her ear. Laura rolls her eyes and says, “Whatever you say, dear,” as she scoops up Nathaniel from his sprawled position on the floor. (Sometimes walking is hard.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Wanda is looking like she knew all along that you were this fantastic, and Vision… well, it’s hard when you have no social skills. He looks a little bemused. But that doesn’t matter – he’s liked you from the beginning._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Steve and Sam are fist-bumping (Sam is a very strong influence on Cap), silently congratulating each other on finding the perfect girl for Bucky._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________And Bucky himself?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He’s looking at you like you’re the last woman on earth, and even though Cooper is still talking a mile a minute, he’s not hearing any of it. All he can think about at the moment is how amazingly _kind _you are, and how desperately he wants to be your friend... and, okay, he’d really love to be something more than that, too.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And, no matter how aloof and disinterested you try to appear, you’re still feeling the waves of approval, and they make you smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The point of all of this?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The Avengers like you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And what does that mean?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You’re going to be spending a lot of time with Bucky._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Yes _.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah. I tried _not _doing an end note in the hopes that it would get rid of that persistent hanger-onner of my note from the first chapter that's been haunting me. It didn't work. Sorry.__
> 
> __Thank you so much for sticking with me this far! You're amazing!_ _
> 
> __XOXO_ _


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not dead! I am alive!   
> And to celebrate that fact, here. Have another chapter. ;)  
> It is totally unedited, so I hope that it's readable. It's not like I ever really do any serious editing, anyway, but this chapter is even rougher than usual.   
> Oh, and speaking of which, thank you so much to all of my commenters! You guys always make my day. :)   
> Good luck with deciphering my crazy writing, and I hope that you enjoy!

“It really wasn’t as bad as you're making it out to be.”

“You just _had _to tell that story, didn't you, (Y/N)?”__

__Clint and Sam are trying defend themselves and their dignity, but, judging by the gales of laughter, it’s not working._ _

__You’ve just finished recounting the fool that the two of them made of themselves when all of you were exploring the waterpark area with Laura and Nathaniel. (Lila and Cooper had been playing with Cassie.) The four of you had just finished giving your orders to the teenager behind the counter of the ice cream ‘shop’ when Nathaniel tossed his rattle on the ground with a squeal. Clint had been designated the official rattle picker-upper early on, so he bent down to pick it up. Unfortunately, Sam had been reaching over to grab his ice cream just as Clint stood back up, which meant that there was a lot of ice cream covering Clint and a shocked/amused expression covering Sam’s face. Clint, being an assassin with an assassin’s reflexes, immediately retaliated by throwing Nathaniel’s rattle at Sam. And, of course, it hit him right in the nose and bounced off back onto the ground. This time, Sam picked it up, probably feeling a little guilty. And _the same thing happened again _, but this time it was Sam that was wearing the ice cream and Clint that was wearing the shocked/amused expression.___ _

____“The odds of that actually happening must be astronomical!” Laura laughs. You giggle along with her, the situation made all the more hilarious by the death glares that Sam and Clint are sending your way._ _ _ _

____“Mmhmm!” you agree. “I’m just glad that we were there to witness it.”_ _ _ _

____“Yep!” she agrees. “Then again, we seem to have a talent for catching them being stupid. We’re awesome.”_ _ _ _

____The two of you clink glasses and guzzle your pink lemonade like there’s no tomorrow as Sam and Clint glower at you and silently vow to take their revenge._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____If someone had told you a week and a half ago that you’d be an unofficial member of the Avengers by now, there’s no way you would have believed them. And yet, somehow, that’s exactly what’s happened. That first day that you met everyone and hung out at the dining hall, you hadn’t made it back to your room until nearly two in the morning, and you were on such an adrenaline/sugar rush that you’d stayed up until four drawing all of your newfound friends to the best of your abilities. The next day, you’d woken up with a headache (you always have a headache when you’re sleep deprived) and a whole load of uncertainty. What if they were just being nice for one day? What if they didn’t really want you there?  
And so you’d grabbed a novel that you’d discovered in a cupboard in the Avengers Room and headed up to the top deck, gazing wistfully at but determinedly passing by the door that would take you to the dining hall. You’d spent a good two hours up there before Sam had tapped you on the shoulder, making you jump. When you turned around, your eyes widened, and he looked confused._ _ _ _

____“Where were you? We’ve been waiting for you all morning – Wanda wants to talk to you.”_ _ _ _

____Your eyes widened and you could feel a wide smile spreading across your face. They wanted you with them after all. This was _amazing _. You’d been looking up to the Avengers for years, and now they wanted to be buddies.___ _ _ _

______“Oh. Well, I guess I’ll have to come, then, won’t I?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You better come.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He was trying to look stern, but he was failing. So you tucked your book under your arm and followed him into the chaos that was the Avengers’ dining room at lunchtime._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______And that’s how it started. You talked to Wanda and laughed with Tony… who introduced you to Pepper. That was interesting._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey, Pep. This is (Y/N). You know, the girl I was telling you about. (Y/N), this is Pepper Potts, the light of my life and my very impressive CEO.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Pepper had given him a half-glare, half-‘crazy in love’ look, and he’d scuttled away to torment Steve. She turned to you and held out a hand with a smile._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hello, (Y/N). It’s very nice to meet you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You had just kind of stared at her in awe for a couple of seconds, but then she’d looked at you strangely and you snapped to attention._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes! Hi! It is so nice to get to see you in person. I mean, I see you on the TV all the time, and what you do really saves the world as much as Iron Man does, because if you didn’t do all that paperwork, Miss Potts, who would? Nobody, that’s who, because no one else has your level of discipline and control…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Her eyebrows had been rising higher and higher through your waterfall of words, and now she held up a hand, an entertained twinkle in her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______“As much as I appreciate all the compliments, (Y/N), they’re really not necessary. Tony has told me about how nervous you seem to be around new people, and it’s completely understandable, but you don’t need to be nervous around me. I’m glad that you’ll be around. I’d like to be friends; Laura tells me that you’re a very sweet girl, and she doesn’t give undeserved praise. I’d like to get to know you, so if you ever need to talk, I’d love to listen.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You’re speechless with happiness for a minute, until what she just said finally sinks in and you stammer out your thanks and tell her that that is very kind of her._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I really appreciate that, Miss Potts.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She smiles at you again._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Please, call me Pepper.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______The day had passed quickly – most of it involved chatting with Bucky. For some reason, he seemed to like you, and you decided that you weren’t going to try to figure it out; you were going to spend as much time with him as possible. You’d learned that he loved to dance but didn’t get many chances anymore, and that he liked kids but that he also liked being able to hand them back to their parents at the end of the day. He, in turn, asked you if you liked watching movies. You told him that yes, you liked watching movies, but you didn’t get many chances to watch them. He told you what his favorite movies were and that he would watch them with you if you wanted. You smiled and told him you would like that._ _ _ _ _ _

______You get the idea._ _ _ _ _ _

______Long story short, you and Bucky spent a solid five hours in earnest discussion, and by the end of it a fast friendship had emerged._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______The next day was the day you met Thor, and that was… well… more than a little embarrassing._ _ _ _ _ _

______You had bounced into the dining hall at eight in the morning, because the night before Tony had waved his arm around and told you to make yourself at home. So you were. You’d even brought your book to read over coffee, because what’s better in the morning than a book and some breakfast?_ _ _ _ _ _

______Your original plan had been to greet whoever you crossed paths with on your way to the breakfast bar, grab some food, and settle into a booth. What had ended up happening was you greeted Sam and Steve, poured yourself a cup of coffee, taken a sip, and proceeded to choke on it as your eyes landed on a blonde Asgardian. After Steve had finished whacking you on the back and Sam had finished nearly dying of laughter, they asked you what was wrong._ _ _ _ _ _

______“That is Thor,” you whispered, nodding in the demigod’s direction. They’d followed your gaze, and Steve had nodded._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re right,” he’d said. “That is Thor.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sam’s eyes had widened, and he’d started giggling._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You have a crush on him, don’t you, (Y/N)?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You shook your head, face aflame._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No, of course not! I just… Well… you’ve got to admit that he’s kind of drop dead gorgeous.” Wanda, who was reading your mind from across the room (she’d asked before she started poking around in your brain and you’d told her that it was fine – as long as she limited herself to the thoughts that were currently happening and left past ones alone) agreed. When Sam raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to protest you cut him off. “And Wanda thinks so, too!” He still looked skeptical. “And so does every woman on the planet!” you said, exasperated. “So just deal with it and stop making fun of me!” Unbeknownst to you, Bucky had come up behind you while you were talking._ _ _ _ _ _

______“This guy bothering you?” he asked you with a straight face, and you laughed._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No, he’s fine,” you told him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“He just doesn’t seem to understand how devastatingly handsome Odinson is,” Wanda said. She’d come to join the conversation. You facepalmed. This was not something you really wanted to discuss around Bucky, because personally you thought he was better than Thor by a long shot. But you liked Wanda, so you sent her a conspiratorial smile. You didn’t see the grin on Sam’s face as he watches Bucky frown, and you certainly didn’t read his mind and realize that this was his nefarious plan all along. (He’d quickly made Wanda an ally in the ‘get Bucky a girlfriend’ campaign, and the two of them had decided that making Bucky jealous would be a good idea. Well, really, Sam had decided that it would be a good idea to make Bucky jealous, and Wanda had gone along with it because she thought that you and Bucky would be really cute together. Not that you knew any of this.)_ _ _ _ _ _

______Anyway, you were discussing Thor’s hotness with Wanda and Steve was looking half amused and half bored and Sam was just grinning like a maniac and Bucky was glowering because he didn’t enjoy the fact that he was competing with Sam. And then, just as you finished listing some of Thor’s attributes (at one point Sam had somehow turned the conversation into a ‘who’s better: Falcon or Thor?’ debate), you heard a deep voice rumble, “Did someone need me?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Yeah. Thor had ended up listening to your spiel on how great the god of thunder was and was now grinning in an even more maniacal fashion that Sam, which was pretty intimidating._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh, no,” you stammered, “I didn’t mean to be…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You were so busy being stressed out about what Thor must think, you missed the fond smile on Bucky’s face and the high five that Sam discreetly gave Wanda._ _ _ _ _ _

______You were trying to explain your position to Thor and absolve yourself of any guilt when someone slipped her arm through his and shot him a scolding look._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Behave!” she reprimanded him, and then turned to you, a half amused half exasperated look on her face. She held out her hand, and you shook it, feeling bewildered. “Jane Foster,” she introduced herself. “You’re (Y/N). Tony’s been talking about you nonstop. Some of the guys thought it would be funny to get you a little flustered, and Sam was put in charge of making it happen. So you’re fine.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You gawked at her for a moment and then turned to Sam with an accusatory glare. He held up his hands in a ‘what was I supposed to do?’ gesture, and while you could think of several things he could do – none of them pleasant – you decided to be merciful and turned back to Jane._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Thank you so much,” you said, and there was a tone of sincere appreciation in your tone that made her smile. “I would have kept freaking out.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s fine,” she said, waving her hand. “These guys are crazy, so the girls have got to look out for each other.” She winks at you and then grabs Thor’s hand. “Come on, big guy. We’ve got to finish charting that outer branch of Yggdrasil, remember?” She winked at you and told you that she’d love to chat over coffee sometime, and left._ _ _ _ _ _

______And you ended up having coffee with her and Thor and he talked endlessly about Asgard and you listened endlessly about Asgard (and scientific explanations) and by the time the three of you had drained your mugs you were friends._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______You had met Sharon Carter, the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent that was Steve’s girlfriend, the same way. Steve had been the one to introduce you, and the look of affection and pride in his eyes when he looked at her had made you melt. When she started talking, you instantly liked her. She was down to earth and yet dignified, and she didn’t make fun of your hair. (It’s a long story, but the summary is that Laura had to go keep Lila from murdering Cooper – there was a mutilated Barbie involved – and Nathaniel had decided that dumping his cup of orange juice on your head – you were under the table trying to catch a stray Cheerio at the time – was a brilliant idea. As a result, you were sticky and gross, and Sam and Tony had a great time heckling you about it, and it was when you were going to change that you met Sharon.) She, in turn, thought you were pretty great, and offered you her room to wash your hair, since it was a lot closer and it would save you a walk._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______And Doctor Banner you had met when, out of the blue, Natasha Romanoff had dragged him over to meet you. You’d been surprised and a little terrified, but she’d ended up making you laugh with a sarcastic comment about Tony, and she’d smiled when you laughed, and Bruce (he’d told you to call him Bruce as soon as Natasha had said, “This is Bruce Banner”) and smiled when she smiled, and it all snowballed from there._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______And now you’re better friends with the Avengers than you’ve been with anybody else in your whole life. You joke around with Thor and Scott over breakfast. (They’re morning people. Most of the team isn’t.) You listen to Clint and Natasha banter back and forth as you help Laura figure out what she’s going to do with her family for the day. You pay attention to everything Scott wants to tell you about his past and about Hope, and you are secretly planning his wedding with Cassie. You admire Pepper’s Tony-corralling skills, and you let the millionaire himself give you extra deluxe… everything, really. You play chess with Jane (and you usually lose) and cards with Wanda (you lose there, too). You tell Vision about social boundaries and expectations and you let Sharon talk you into buying an adorable bathing suit. You listen to Steve and Bucky tease each other, and you also listen to them when they need a shoulder to cry on. You and Sam are constantly pranking each other, and sometimes Bruce helps you do sciency things to stay one step ahead of the Falcon._ _ _ _ _ _

______Basically, you’re living your dream. You have a family now._ _ _ _ _ _

______And it is a wonderful feeling._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww! You're adorable. :)  
> I'd just like to say thank you to everyone who left suggestions, and I'd also like to note that even if your suggestion doesn't show up for a few chapters, it doesn't mean that I've forgotten about it! Just hang in there. :)  
> I hope that you liked it! Have a beautiful day!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. Sometimes life gets crazy.   
> I know, I know. That's not an excuse, it's an explanation.   
> Also, because life gets crazy, I really don't think that this chapter is my best work... but I'm also exhausted, and so, much as it pains me, this is what I'm giving you.  
> In spite of its many flaws, I really hope that you enjoy!

“(Y/N)!” Tony screams. “Get it!”

You manage to bump the volleyball up just before it hits the ground, and Natasha, in turn, spikes it over to the other side of the net. It lands inside the boundaries, but it’s close enough to the edge that all Clint can do is watch helplessly as it bounces on the ground. Team Iron Man (you were christened by Tony) erupts into cheers, and you and Nat high five each other as Sam and Steve glare at you through the net. 

“Rematch!” Sam demands, and Steve nods. Clint just doubles over, panting, and Natasha laughs at him.

“Look at you!” she mocks. “I thought that you had a bit more stamina than that, _Hawkeye _.”__

__“Whatever,” he mutters under his breath, and Nat winks at you before returning to her position._ _

__You and Tony and Natasha are on one volleyball team, and Steve and Sam and Clint are on the other. Laura is watching and cheering/booing for/at Clint. Wanda is watching and also explaining the game to Vision, who is wearing an ‘I love JARVIS’ t-shirt and looking thoroughly bemused. Sharon is ‘out,’ because she refused to give up her points when she made an illegal move and eventually all of you got tired of arguing with her – including Steve. So now she’s watching and shamelessly checking out Steve’s abs, and not looking at all repentant for her ‘misdeed.’ It makes you wonder if she _wanted _to get kicked out of the game. Pepper is doing some work on her BlackBerry – the woman doesn’t even know the meaning of the word ‘relax’ – and Scott is playing horseshoes with Cassie, Cooper, and Lila over in the corner. Thor and Jane are sunbathing at the pool. And Bucky? He’s been a no-show all morning, which kind of worries you, because he’s always been around for the last few days and it makes you wonder if something is wrong.___ _

____You don’t have much time to worry about it, though, because soon Steve is serving and you’re diving to catch the ball and it takes up all of your concentration._ _ _ _

____The game is very intense – what do you expect when you’re playing with superheroes? – and you end up becoming a hot and sweaty mess. Your hair gets pulled back into a tangled ponytail, your sweater is taken off and you’re left in your tank top, and you lose your shoes to get better traction on the deck. And it is like this that Bucky ends up seeing you when he finally emerges from his room and comes to find his team._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____If you knew that he was watching you, you would a) die of embarrassment and b) be sure that he was finding you hideous and that he’d think you were gross forever. What is really happening is he is trying really hard to catch his breath because he thinks that the sight of you, all tousled and rumpled and haphazard, is the most beautiful thing that he has ever seen. It’s like you’re glowing with excitement, and he can’t seem to tear his eyes off of you. He watches as you slide on your knees to catch the ball, and the little bounce of excitement as you watch Tony hit it over the net, and suddenly he’s kind of worried because he’s not sure if his heart is supposed to be beating this quickly. He ends up sliding onto the bench next to Laura, who smiles at him. He smiles back, and then he turns all of his attention to you._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____You’re mourning the defeat of your team with Nat. The two of you put up a good fight, but Steve is a _super soldier _. He can go all day without getting tired. There’s no way you could win against him. So you accept your loss – with a few good-natured jabs at Team Cap, of course – and head over to the bench to sit down next to Laura. Except that Bucky is there and he’s looking at you and wow his eyes are pretty.___ _ _ _

______“Hey!” you say, sitting down on Laura’s other side. She smiles at you and hands you a water bottle. “Thanks!” She’s your friend, yes, but she’s also kind of like your mom/older sister, and it’s amazing._ _ _ _ _ _

______“That was a good game,” she tells you, and you smile, still breathless from the exertion._ _ _ _ _ _

______“It was pretty fun,” you agree. “What’d you think, Bucky?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He meets your eyes, and there’s something in his that makes your breathing speed up for just a second, but then he’s back to normal._ _ _ _ _ _

______“It was a good game,” he echoes. “You did really well, considering that you’re up against people who do physical stuff for a living.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You pretend to look hurt, and your jaw drops in mock horror._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Are you saying that I’m out of shape?” you ask, gasping dramatically for effect. Laura giggles at your antics, but Bucky doesn’t seem to pick up on that._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No! Oh, gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to sound like that!” he panics, and you’re torn between laughing at him and feeling terrible for teasing him like that. (Laura is not experiencing any such dilemma. She has tears running down her face from the force of her laughter.)_ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s fine,” you tell him, leaning across a still laughing Laura to look him in the eyes. “I was only kidding.” When he still looks unconvinced you send him a smile. “I promise.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______This time, he smiles back, and you feel relieved that he’s not going to worry about it. If there’s one thing you’ve learned about Bucky in the last week and a half, it’s that he holds onto_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey! (Y/N)! Laura!” Sharon calls. She’s standing over by Wanda, Natasha, and Pepper, and is beckoning the two of you over. Laura looks uncertainly at Nathaniel, and you know what she’s thinking. She can’t leave him here._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I can take him,” Bucky volunteers, and you wonder how on earth he can be so perfect._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh, thanks, Buck!” Laura exclaims, handing the baby over. “You can give him to Clint if he gets to be too much.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know. I’ve done this a thousand times.” Bucky reminds her, settling Nathaniel into the most comfortable position he can find._ _ _ _ _ _

______She smiles at him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know, but I’m a mom. I worry. It’s in my DNA.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He looks at her, trying to be stern. (It’s not really working, but it’s a valiant effort.)_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Mrs. Barton, you need a break. I hereby sentence you to a day off with your friends.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Laura shakes her head in amusement and pats him on the cheek._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re too sweet for this world, Barnes.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She picks up her bag and starts off to join the other women, but stops when you don’t follow. You’re not following because you’re too busy staring at Bucky, who is smiling at Nathaniel as the toddler plays with his rattle. The scene is too adorable for words, and you’re appreciating it. Laura smiles to herself. You’re so smitten, and she likes watching you swoon over Bucky. But, if you two are going you need to go, so as much as she hates to do it, she taps you on the arm and you jump back into the real world._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You okay there, (Y/N)? You were looking a little distracted.” She winks at you, and you blush furiously._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Y-yeah. I mean, no. I mean, not distracted, and I’m fine.” A moment passes, and you realize that that was completely unconvincing, and Bucky is looking at you, and you clear your throat. “Let’s go.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You stride off towards the group of women, trying your hardest to look like you’re owning it when really you’re just borrowing it. (In fact, you’re really not sure that you had it in the first place, but you can dream, right?) Laura follows you, and you can tell that she’s giggling, which is not good for your self esteem. But you just keep persisting along, and you make it to the others without mishap. Natasha is smirking at your flushed cheeks, and Wanda is raising an eyebrow at what’s going on in your mind, but you comfort yourself with the knowledge that at least Pepper and Sharon don’t know why your face is trying to impersonate a tomato._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Are you okay, (Y/N)?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Of course Pepper would notice. Perfect Pepper Potts, whose face has probably never resembled a tomato in her life. In fact, all of these women are perfect, and it is simply not fair. But you digress._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh, I’m fine. Thanks, though.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The non-assassin and mind-readers look unconvinced, but say nothing, for which you are grateful. Pepper saves you all from an awkward silence by suggesting that all of you go see if Jane wants to accompany you on your excursion, and all of you jump at that offer, and you all take off._ _ _ _ _ _

______It’s a beautiful day. Granted, there hasn’t really been any other kind so far, but it doesn’t mean that any of you are unappreciative. You’re all subconsciously tilting your faces up towards the sun as you wander along the deck to the spot that Jane said she and Thor would be hanging out._ _ _ _ _ _

______‘Hanging out’ is more like ‘hiding from all of Thor’s many fangirls.’ Turns out Jane probably should have thought about letting a shirtless Thor wander the deck. After Natasha rescues them from their obscure corner in the shadows, Jane jumps at the chance to escape all the half-crazed teenagers, and Thor likes the idea of going back to his room to put a shirt on. So after a goodbye kiss (which sort of turned into a makeout session which meant that all of the rest of you had to hide your eyes and pretend that it wasn’t happening), the two lovebirds part ways, and your small, all-female army gains a new recruit._ _ _ _ _ _

______It’s pretty great, just roaming the ship with nowhere to be and no reason to hurry. Most of you have some sort of iced beverage, and those of you who don’t just drink from someone else’s cup. (All of you are basically sisters at this point. Although it should probably be noted that people ask before drinking any of Natasha’s soda. All of you learned this lesson the hard way, which means that you definitely learned it.) You discuss the Barton children, the possibility of Tony throwing a party before you get back to the port you started from, and laugh at the stupidest things._ _ _ _ _ _

______Basically, you’re enjoying the company of your friends and kind of wishing that this day could just go on forever._ _ _ _ _ _

______You’ve all bought some sort of food item and are sitting down around a picnic table (a _big _picnic table. You’re pretty sure that everything on this ship is super-sized.), enjoying your meal. You eat in silence until someone brings up husband problems.___ _ _ _ _ _

________(It’s Laura, obviously. No one else has a husband.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“So last night in the room, Clint decided that sharpening his arrows was the best idea ever. At _ten o’clock in the evening _! And, of course, the kids all wanted to watch, which meant that they were up late, and by the time I finally quieted them down, Clint had moved on to restringing his bow. I was _so _mad. Did he really have to bring his weapons on a _cruise _?” She and Natasha share a knowing look. The two of them know Barton better than anyone else in the world, and yet he can still surprise them with his borderline insanity. “I mean, if he wants to bring a couple of guns, fine. Maybe even a knife. It’s been rough, and they make him feel safe. I get it. But his _bow and arrows _? Seriously?”_________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Nat shakes her head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Sometimes his stupidity knows no bounds.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Sharon raises an eyebrow at her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Stupidity? _I _brought weapons on the ship.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Oh, no, not the weapons. Those are smart.” Of course they are. Natasha’s room probably resembles an armory. “I meant the whole getting them out in the middle of the night thing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Ten o’clock is the middle of the night?” It’s Jane’s turn to sound surprised. “Since when did you get old?” Natasha glares at her, and she raises her hands in a non-threatening way. “Not that you _look _old. You just sound like a tired mom.” Everyone’s eyes turn to Laura, and Jane winces at her words. “Okay, yeah, I probably should have phrased that differently.” She buries her face in her hands, and you can hear her mutter something that sounds like, “Oh, gosh, I sound like Darcy.” When she finally raises her head, her cheeks are dusted with pink, and you can’t help but feel that it’s very unfair that she has perfect skin and gorgeous eyes and is just a ridiculously beautiful person, and she also doesn’t even turn red when she blushes. It’s just not fair. “I’m so sorry, Laura. That is not what I meant to say, _at all _.”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Laura is smiling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“It’s fine, Jane. I understand. Young whippersnappers like you can hardly be expected to.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________‘Young whippersnappers’ makes you choke on Wanda’s Sprite and snort some out your nose, which makes her start laughing her head off as Sharon whacks you on the back. Unfortunately, the whacking doesn’t help at all, and you just keep spluttering as you set the drink back on the table. Even more unfortunately, since you’re coughing so hard that you can’t see anything it tips over and spills all over Natasha, who jumps up off the bench, but not in time. It’s spreading everywhere, and you think that you’re dying, because you’re laughing in addition to choking, and Jane is laughing and Pepper is chortling and Laura is losing her crap, and the seven of you just sit there belly-laughing until you finally recover from your congested airway._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________At this point, most of you are covered in Sprite, and you have the lovely addition of snot and spit all over your face, so you all decide to go put some bathing suits on and jump in the pool._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________It’s a brilliant decision. The water is sparkling, and since you’re all Avengers (or good friends of them, anyway) you get a little private section all to yourself, and it’s wonderful. Pepper opts for just laying in the sun, and the rest of you sit on the edge of the pool, chattering about anything and everything. It’s inevitable that eventually the conversation turns to boys._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________(Well, technically it turns to ‘men,’ but you feel that most of the Avengers lack the maturity to be called ‘men’ so you just call them ‘boys.’)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“So, is it true that you and Thor are thinking about getting married?” Laura asks Jane, and Jane blushes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Yeah, it is. We’ve been dating for forever, and I don’t think that getting married will even change our relationship – it’ll just make it official.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“And then you can have lots of legitimate kids!” Pepper adds. Everyone gives _her _the ‘what are you talking about?’ look this time, and _she _turns pretty red. It gives you some rather twisted satisfaction to have a tomato face buddy. “It’s not like you even have any kids now,” she amends hastily, “but you can have little princes and princesses now, and don’t you think that that would be cute?”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________There’s dead silence for a minute, and then everyone silently agrees to pretend that those words were never uttered by Pepper Perfect Potts, if only because they’re feeling a little confused about what even just happened._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“What about you and Steve?” Jane eventually asks Sharon, eager to get the scrutinizing gaze of everyone else off of her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Sharon shrugs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“We’re in a good place right now, I think, and why leave a good place?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Laura nods in understanding._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“That makes sense.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Natasha is ducking her head a little, and you decide to take initiative._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“What about you and Banner?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Her head jerks up sharply._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“What about us?” she asks crisply._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Come on, Nat,” Laura says, rolling her eyes. “We all know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“You’re not exactly subtle,” Wanda adds._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Sharon says nothing, but Natasha glares at her anyway._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“It’s really none of your business,” she begins, and this time Pepper cuts her off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Save it, ‘Rushman,’” (you note to yourself that there must be a story behind that name – especially since Laura is grinning) “we _all _know. And, besides, this is girl time.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Nat groans and finally cracks under the peer pressure._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Fine! We’re keeping it a secret, because at the moment there’s not really anywhere to go with it, but we’re…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“A thing?” Wanda supplies, a huge grin on her face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Shut up,” Natasha mumbles, which translates as ‘yes.’ You all cheer as if you’ve won the Olympics, and she rolls her eyes at you. “Such children.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Speaking of children,” Laura says, “what about you and Vision, Wanda?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Wanda blushes furiously, and starts to protest, when Natasha shakes her head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Save it, Maximoff,” she says. “If I had to spill, so do you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Wanda’s face is almost as red as yours, which encourages you greatly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“We… we haven’t _done _anything, and we’re not… we haven’t… we’re…”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“A thing,” Natasha says, and it’s not a question. Wanda ducks her head and nods, and you and Laura high five._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Go, Wanda!” you cheer. “You two are just the cutest.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Everyone nods in agreement, and you smile smugly at her as she glares at you. You really don’t care, because she and Vision are ‘together,’ and they’re adorable, and you can hardly even handle it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“So what about you, (Y/N)?” Jane asks, and the smile is wiped off of your face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Oh, there’s nothing… I’m not… I don’t…” you stammer, and Sharon rolls her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“We all know, (Y/N),” she says, “Just like with Nat.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________You cringe, not ready for something that you haven’t even completely admitted to yourself to be dragged out of the shadows into the sunlight._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Well, there’s not… I don’t… there isn’t…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“You like Bucky,” Natasha says, and everyone stares at you, gauging your reaction. You squirm under their scrutiny and wonder if it’s too late to fake illness and retreat to your room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Umm… well… I don’t really… he doesn’t…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Yes, you do,” Laura translates to the others, and they all nod in agreement._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“I never said that!” you begin, and Wanda cuts you off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“You do. And I’m not saying that because I read your mind. I’m saying that because I read your face.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________You sigh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Look, guys…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________They’re too busy celebrating._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“You two are adorable!” Jane coos._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“I knew it,” Natasha states._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“It’ll be so good for both of you,” Pepper says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“I’m so happy for you,” Laura says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“You’ll make him so happy,” Wanda says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Whoa, whoa, whoa. All I did was admit that I liked him. We’re not engaged. There’s no real reason to celebrate. He doesn’t even like me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Half of your friends smile condescendingly while the other half just roll their eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“You just leave that to us,” Natasha says, cracking her knuckles. “We’ve got this.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Oh, great._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so, so, so much for reading. I am so grateful that you have stuck with me this far.   
> Hopefully we'll get a little less rough in the not-so-distant future, but in the meantime I want you lovely readers to know that I appreciate you guys SO much! You're amazing!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> I hope that you're all doing well. I, personally, am doing fantastically. It's been a pretty great couple of days for me! For anyone who's not doing so well, and feels like they're walking through molasses, it gets better! I promise! Keep on keeping on. :)
> 
> Ahem. Sorry. I'm just so happy that I want everyone to be happy, too, and it's depressing to me that everyone is not. Much love to all people who feel like they are struggling! You guys are fabulous! Don't stop now!
> 
> Actually done now.
> 
> I hope that you enjoy this chapter! I love you all!

You flop onto your bed with a sigh. You’re exhausted.

After Natasha made her little dramatic announcement, all the girls had pounced on the matchmaking idea like kittens with a ball of yarn. And, as if that wasn’t bad enough, the guys had ended up joining you (With the exception of Scott, who was still playing with the kids – and loving every minute of it. You’ve come to realize that since he didn’t get to spend a whole lot of time with Cassie for most of her life, he’s trying to make up for it now. It seems like he can’t get enough of his daughter, and it’s a beautiful thing to see.) in the pool, which meant that there were lots of winks going on between your friends. Fortunately, you managed to cause a diversion by pointing out the adorableness of Wanda and Vision sitting on the side of the pool, deep in conversation. Sure, they still elbowed you every time they caught you watching Bucky, but then they also elbowed Sharon and Jane and Pepper when they caught named persons checking out their respective boyfriends. (Not that you begrudged them that. All of said boyfriends were definitely worth looking at.) And that meant that you weren’t the center of attention, and _that _meant that you were pretty happy with your lot in life, and you splashed around with vigor.__

__Despite the fact that you _love _the water and were enjoying yourself immensely, you weren’t perfectly happy. You really wished that Bucky would get in. He just sat on the side of the pool, dangling his feet in the water. You wouldn’t have minded that at all – there’s absolutely nothing wrong with just sitting by the side of the pool – if you hadn’t caught him casting longing glances towards the place where Tony and Clint and Steve were having a breath-holding competition (guess who won?). He looked like he wanted to be in the water more than anything, but he wasn’t getting in, and you were fairly sure that it was because he was feeling self conscious of his metal arm. You meant to go over to talk to him all afternoon, but the opportunity to do so eluded you until Sam announced that he was headed up to the deck to fire up the grill (yes, Tony had a grill) and whip up some barbeque sauce. There had been a general stamped to get dressed and to the food, and you had been left feeling more than a little overwhelmed and bewildered.___ _

____Which is why you’re here now._ _ _ _

____You’re pretty sure that you ate around five hamburgers, but Sam had still been on you to eat more, and you ended up saying that you were exhausted and fleeing to your room to escape the flood of food. And, even if Sam hadn’t been Falconing you, you’re really tired. You’ve had a big day. The swimming in itself would have been enough to wear you out, but add to that the emotional stress of the day and it gets even crazier._ _ _ _

____You weren’t really ready to admit that you like Bucky, you don’t think. You’d barely even admitted it to yourself, let alone to all of your friends, who know both you and Bucky and who will stop at nothing until the two of you are together. And, okay, it’s not that that’s super unappealing. It’s fun to have a ‘fan base,’ especially when you’ve been a major fan of some of the fan base for a long time. _However _, needing to worry about whether or not someone would say something in front of Bucky was a little exhausting. After all, he is a super spy. He would totally pick up on it if anyone said anything, and if you weren’t prepared for your friends to find out about your little crush this afternoon you definitely aren’t prepared for the man himself to find out.___ _ _ _

______Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door, and you sit up straight, smiling._ _ _ _ _ _

______You and Melinda have worked out a little secret rythym, and you recognize this as your special knock. You roll off of the bed and bound towards the door, opening it with a smile._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey, Mel!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She sticks out her tongue at you as she enters the room._ _ _ _ _ _

______“How many times do I have to tell you that I _hate _that nickname?” she asks you in exasperation. There’s a twinkle in her eyes, though, which tells you that you’re fine. (You’ve only witnessed an angry Melinda once, and she wasn’t even mad at you – the chef had done something that had ticked her off – but it was something that you don’t care to see again.)___ _ _ _ _ _

________“How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t care?” you counter, and she laughs at you, sitting down on your bed. She lets out a sigh and closes her eyes, and you sit down beside her, feeling sympathetic._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Long day?” you ask._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Tell me about it.” she moans._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You try to resist it, you really do, but it just slips out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I just did,” you whisper, before bursting into giggles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Melinda opens her eyes and looks at you strangely before seemingly deciding that it’s just not worth investigating. So she leans against the wall and crosses her arms, scrutinizing you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know I haven’t seen you in a while, but you seem… different. Did something happen?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You can’t help but let out a hoot at that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“’Did something happen.’ Yes, something happened.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Melinda just looks at you with a ‘go on’ face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I…” it suddenly occurs to you how ludicrous this is going to sound, and you try to keep from squealing. “I met the Avengers.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Melinda has no reservations about squealing, and she grabs you in a fangirl hug._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Really? Are you kidding me? Did you get autographs?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yes, no, and no.” When she glares at you for that last answer, you hastily continue. “I… I’ve been hanging out with them.” Her jaw drops and it suddenly hits you how unbelievably lucky you are. “I’ve made friends with the Avengers,” you repeat, and suddenly both of you are just kind of giggling uncontrollably, because, honestly, how crazy is this?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________When you’ve finally calmed down, both of you take deep breaths._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You’re friends with the Avengers,” Melinda says, almost reverently. “I’m friends with a friend of the Avengers.” You snort at that, and she glares at you playfully. “Hey, I’ll take it! It’s the closest I’m ever going to get, anyway.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________That statement gives you an idea._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Not necessarily.” She gives you a questioning gaze, and you realize that your idea could actually work. “Your day off is tomorrow, right?” (You love the fact that since Tony is a billionaire he can hire enough people for the crew and maids and such – you don’t even know how many people are employed on this ship – to get a couple of days off every week.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She nods slowly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Right. What are you thinking?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“How do you feel about coming with me? To meet everybody?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Melinda looks kind of frozen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“But… they wouldn’t like an extra person hanging around. Would they?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You shake your head at her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Mel, you’re one of the most wonderful and kind and sweet people that I know. If they don’t want you around, then I don’t want _them _around.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________A smile is taking over Melinda’s face, and it makes _you _smile, too.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Really?” she asks you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Really really,” you say. She bounces up and down a little._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’m going to meet the Avengers!” she cheers in hushed tones._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Yes, you are!” you agree, and the two of you waltz around the tiny cabin to the best of your abilities._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________(It ends with you stubbing your toe and Melinda smacking her head against the wall, but it was fun while it lasted.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The next morning, the two of you meet on the deck at eight thirty. (Laura, Clint, and Bucky are always in the dining hall by seven, and Thor, Jane, Steve, Pepper, and occasionally Tony have usually trickled in by eight. The rest don’t get there until at least nine thirty. You want Melinda to get to meet everyone one at a time, and you figure that the best way to do it is to start with a small crowd and add to it gradually.) Melinda is looking pretty snazzy – you’ve never seen her in jeans before, and her hair is flowing down her back, and she has a gorgeous necklace on – so you tell her so._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Dang, Melinda! You look great!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She smiles at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Thanks. It’s nice to get out of the uniform.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You make a face. The maid uniform honestly _sucks _.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I bet,” you sympathize, and she smiles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You look great, too,” she informs you as the two of you start walking towards the dining hall, and you smile, too._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Thanks.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You made more of an effort this morning than you ever have, but it’s not like you have a lot of effort to be made – your wardrobe consists of three tops and two pairs of jeans. It’s hard to be stylish when you’re living out of a duffel bag. This morning, though, the excitement and anticipation of having all of your friends in the world in the same place is enough to put a sparkle in your eyes and a spring in your step, and you do look pretty fantastic, if you do say so yourself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________By the time you make it to the door of the common room, the two of you have caught each other up on your respective lives, and Melinda has been briefed on the personality of each Avenger. When you grab the handle, you see Melinda take a deep breath, and you smile to yourself. She’s even more nervous than you were your first time here._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________With that in mind, you push the door open, and promptly get attacked by a little blur of energy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“(Y/N)! (Y/N)!” Nathaniel shrieks, and he’s so adorable that you just have to pick him up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Hey, Nate!” you greet the baby as you carry him back towards the Barton table. Melinda trails behind you, torn between cooing over the baby and walking right back out the door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Good morning, (Y/N)!” Laura welcomes you, and you and Clint do your intricate blinking greeting that you made up a little while ago. (It’s actually Clint that invented it, and you couldn’t even tell when he was blinking and when he was leaving his eyes open, so basically you just blink at random intervals.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Hey, Laura!” you slide into the chair beside her, and Melinda sits down beside you. Laura looks up from cutting Lila’s sausage into tiny pieces (the child is a picky eater) and sees Melinda._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Oh, hello!” she says, sounding both surprised and pleased. (Laura is probably the nicest person you have ever met.) “How are you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I’m good,” Melinda says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“This is my friend, Melinda. Melinda, this is Laura Barton.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It’s so good to meet you, Melinda!” Laura says warmly. “This is my husband Clint. The three crazy kids that you can see here are ours. Cooper’s the oldest, Lila’s next, and Nathaniel’s the baby. Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to remember all of their names.” And she smiles warmly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Just like that, Melinda relaxes and starts chatting, and you have successfully immersed her in the Avenger world._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Thor, being the inquisitive snoop that he is, ends up dragging Jane over to meet Mel, which turns into Pepper coming to get acquainted, and it all snowballs from there. Bucky is the only one that hangs back, but he does wave when Steve points to him and when you greet him he asks what your friend’s name is. You’re pretty satisfied with that. Steve and Tony start bickering (as per usual), and Melinda ends up getting totally involved, and she eventually just follows them to the buffet tables to get some breakfast. You can’t stop smiling, but you also feel almost… wistful._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Laura sees your expression and laughs, long and loudly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“They grow up so fast, don’t they?” she chortles, and you smile sheepishly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“They sure do,” you return. “She doesn’t even need me anymore.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Laura smiles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“She will in a little while. Melinda and Sam are going to hit it off,” she predicts. You raise an eyebrow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Will they?” you ask her, surprised. Granted, she’s known Sam for much longer than you have, but you still would never have seen that coming._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Oh, yes,” Laura says wisely, and you just shake your head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You can’t wait to see how this turns out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh. This is gonna be good. :) 
> 
> I hope that you all have a day that is as lovely as yourselves, and that this chapter gave you a little pick-me-up! 
> 
> Love and love and love!!!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... so... yeah. This became an angst fest, and it was totally out of my hands. Sorry about that. You might want to just... um... brace yourself for many feels. Yeah.
> 
> ALSO, I would like to make note of something: Way back in, like, the first chapter, I mentioned that Rhodey is here. Unfortunately, I forgot about that after that chapter, and so he's actually not here. I went back and edited it out. He's... I don't know what he's doing. He's probably found a girl. I feel like he's the kind of guy that would flirt with his physical therapist and she'd be like "No don't go on the cruise! You'd miss so many sessions!" and he'd be like "you're right," and stay and hang out with her. Either way, he is not here. Just wanted to clarify. Sorry to any Rhodey fans!
> 
> I hope that you enjoy this as much as possible.

You’ve just finished sipping your orange juice (Melinda winked at you when she saw your choice of beverage, remembering your first breakfast order) when there’s a noise like a herd of elephants and Cassie comes flying into the room. She is closely followed by Scott, who is followed by Natasha, who is followed by Sam, who looks absolutely furious.

“You put *bleep* _spiders _in my *bleep* _room _! How the *bleep* did you even find spiders on this ship? Actually,” he slows to a stop and buries his face in his hands, “you know what? I don’t even care. You just better not *bleepitybleepbleep* do it ever again!”____

____Shaking his fist menacingly, he stumbles over towards you and buries his face in your shoulder. You’re laughing too hard to say anything, but you wrap your arms around him. When you can talk again, you try to sound sympathetic._ _ _ _

____“Are they being mean to you, Sam?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes!” he wails. “It’s not fair. Just because I don’t like spiders…”_ _ _ _

____“Ssh,” you shush him, laughter in your voice. “It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.”_ _ _ _

____“But the _spiders _!” he howls. “They were so _big _. They could have killed me…”_____ _ _ _

________“It was Natasha’s idea,” Scott pipes up, helpfully. You don’t even glare at him. The terror Natasha will instill in him over the next few days will be punishment enough. You can tell from the careful expressionlessness of Nat’s face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t think they would have killed you,” you tell Sam. “Even Natasha wouldn’t put something poisonous in your room.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The smirk on Natasha’s face makes you a little uncomfortable, and so you turn away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Your eye meets Melinda’s, and she is trying very hard to keep from laughing. The eye contact does it for her, though, and both of you burst out laughing. You can’t even keep yourself upright, so you lean against the wall and slide down to a sitting position, with tears of laughter running down your cheeks. Melinda is in a similar position. There’s about two seconds of silence where you could hear a pin drop (or, but this is less probable, Natasha walking in heels) and then the hilarity of the situation hits everyone in the room and they all start laughing, too. (Excluding Sam and the kids. Sam is still upset. And traumatized, if you’re honest. He hates spiders, and waking up to find them in his _room _… you have some sympathy for the guy. As for the kids, Cooper and Cassie are engaged in a video game, and Lila is watching them. Nathaniel is chewing on a piece of toast.)___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Eventually, you all calm down, and apologize to Sam. He ends up grinning good-naturedly, because he’s a really nice guy, and says that it’s okay, but Natasha better not do it again or he’d kill her himself. Natasha smirks at that, and you hear her mutter something that sounds like ‘in your dreams’ but you decide to just leave it alone. You don’t have a death wish. And so you turn your gaze from Natasha and watch Cooper beat the crap out of some aliens on the screen, and life seems so simple._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________But when you look up, other things are happening. You have no idea when Sam approached Melinda, but he’s standing right next ( _right next _) to her.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Hey,” he says, and Melinda turns from listening to Clint rant about how difficult DIY renovations are to smile at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Hi,” she says, and as they look at each other, you know that Laura was totally right. If this was a romance movie, there would be violins in the background right now. And the stereotypical heart eyes are there, too. You’re guessing that there are butterflies happening, and that hearts are beating really quickly. You shake your head and retreat to a corner, grabbing a glass of water on the way. (Your plan _was _to chat with Melinda a bit, but that’s obviously not going to happen now.) It’s really amazing, the way that they’re not aware of anything but each other. You smile as you watch them together. Now that you’ve had a few seconds to process the fact that this is actually happening, they’re pretty adorable together. Melinda’s even playing with her hair! You set your water down on the table as you hear footsteps approaching. You turn around and feel a smile spread across your face as you turn around. It’s Bucky.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Hey!” you greet him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Hi,” he says softly. “Is it all right if I sit down?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Of course!” you tell him happily, and slide over a little to give him space to sit down next to you. He squeezes in and settles back against the seat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Your friend is getting along well with Sam,” he observes. You smile fondly at them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“She sure is,” you agree._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He glances at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Are you happy about it?” he asks you. You snap out of your ‘look at what a cute couple they make’ daze._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Of course! I think it’s fantastic! Are you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You’re hit with a sudden worry that maybe he won’t approve of this turn of events and he’ll be mad at you for bringing Melinda here and then…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Oh, yeah.” Thank goodness. “Maybe he’ll stop trying to get me a…” What? “Never mind.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Oh. Darn. Now you’re curious. But you are polite and know when not to push your boundaries (actually, you really don’t know with Bucky, and that’s why you’re going to just leave it). But what do you talk about now?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Are you having a good time so far?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Turns out you don’t have to think of anything. Bucky’s talking on his own. It’s a good day. (You’ve kind of learned how to track his moods. If he’s not talking and he looks unhappy, it’s a bad day. He’s had a memory or a flashback. Usually, he’s quiet, but not unhappy. He watches more than he talks. If he talks on his own, it’s a good day. Like today.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It’s been amazing!” you exclaim, and he smiles. The sight of that smile fills you with exhilaration and you keep talking. “I absolutely love hanging out with you guys. I mean, coming on a cruise is great, but getting to know you makes it _so _much better.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________You don’t even notice that you said ‘you’ instead of ‘you all,’ but Bucky does, and it makes him feel special, even if you didn’t mean it that way. You keep talking, about how wonderful the waterpark is and how fun the waterslide is and how he should try it sometimes – if he wants to, that is. He smiles again. He smiles a lot when you’re around. You make him feel… normal. Normal, and yet unique, but in a good way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________You’re always so nice to him, and he can’t really give you anything in return, and he’s always a little scared that one day he’ll just be too much and you’ll stop talking to him. He worries that he bores you, and that you’d be much happier somewhere else, with some _one _else, but he can’t help but hope that even if that’s the case you’ll still keep spending time with him. He knows that it’s selfish, and he’s ashamed of himself for even thinking it, but he can’t help it. You’re so wonderful, and just spending time with you makes him feel more human. It’s nice to feel human, he thinks.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Maybe it’s because he’s been a machine for so long. He’d forgotten what it was like to smile. The first time he did, he could see the surprise in Steve’s eyes. His friend had been surprised, but he had been _stunned _. But he likes smiling, he’s come to realize. He likes smiling, and he likes laughing. He even likes feeling angry, in a strange way. Because it’s not _nothing _, and he was stuck with _nothing _for so long that _any _emotion, even if it’s a negative one, is nice to have._________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Except for guilt. He hates guilt, and yet it’s the one feeling that hangs over him like a cloud and refuses to leave. There will be bright flashes, and he’ll be able to think about something else for a while, and then it comes back, all the heavier for having been ignored._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________You are still talking animatedly, and he forces himself out of his slump and determines to pay attention to _you _and not his thoughts, because you’re one of the only things that he could stay enraptured by forever. You’re beautiful, he thinks, as you wave your arms around to illustrate a point. You’re so beautiful.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________The thought almost makes him look at his arm and how the prosthetic is, really, the opposite of beauty, but he doesn’t let himself go there. He keeps his focus on you, because you’re a light, and he knows that if he just keeps looking at you, he can find his way out of the darkness._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“And then,” you giggle, remembering how you had laughed when the event happened, “he _ate _it.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Bucky is chuckling, too, and the sound makes you wish that you could rewind time and listen to it on repeat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Steve _did _that?” he asks.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________You nod emphatically._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“I kid you not. The man is crazy.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“He sure is,” Bucky agrees with you, and his eyes automatically search out his friend._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“He’s over there,” you point, knowing who Bucky is looking for, and you don’t know it but he looks at you like you just handed him the moon._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________He’s thinking about how amazing it is that you know what he’s thinking and that you’ll even help him find what he’s looking for, and it makes him want to pull you close and never let you go._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________He pulls himself out of his cloud and glances in the direction you’re pointing. Steve is talking with Clint and playing with Nathaniel, and he has a huge smile on his face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________Bucky ends up smiling, too. He loves it when Steve is happy. He recovered a few memories yesterday, and most of them have Steve in them, smiling and laughing. (And then wheezing, because he had asthma, but Bucky doesn’t really care about that part.) It makes him feel like he can be happy, too, because Steve went through a lot. He lost Peggy and he lost his old life and he didn’t know where he was. But he managed to build a new one for himself, didn’t he?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________Bucky looks at Sharon, who just walked in, and watches as Steve catches sight of her. His eyes light up, and he kisses her cheek in greeting. He hands the baby to Laura, and he wraps his arms around Sharon, and he looks so, so happy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________Bucky wants that. He wants that so badly that it hurts. But it’s too late, isn’t it? He’s not even human anymore – not completely. His arm can sense things, and pick things up, and do lots of stuff, but it’s not _him _. He’ll never feel anything with his own arm again. And he has PTSD. He knows he does. It’s not like it’s surprising – he was tortured nonstop for seventy years – but it still bothers him. He wants to be normal, and to go through life without flashbacks and partial amnesia and so, so many twisted memories. He wants to talk and laugh without feeling guilty. He wants to dance. He wants to be able to lift his hands without remembering all the blood those hands have spilled.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________But it’s too late._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________And then he watches you watching Steve, and he watches you laugh as you watch Nathaniel, and he wonders. He wonders if maybe, just maybe, there’s still time. He wonders if, even though he’s battered and broken and oh so bloody, there’s a chance that you will be able to look past that to all of the love that he’s capable of giving, and if you’ll be able to take it, scars and all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________He knows that it will never happen, because there are no happy endings in the real world._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________But, still. He wonders._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wipes eyes*  
> Yeah, sorry, I just had something in there. Like, dog hair or a twig or something.  
> Gah! Bucky! Why???  
> Sorry.  
> I hope that you have a good rest of your day!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little lightness to make up for the pain of the last chapter! :)
> 
> Ree923, I hope that a) this is kind of what you were thinking, and b) that I got your username right. XD
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me this far, you lovely hoomans, you!!!
> 
> Enjoy!

All of a sudden, it hits you that you’ve been on the ship for two weeks, which means that it’s halfway over. The thought almost made you cry, because you’ve had such an amazing time so far, but you managed to distract yourself. (And, okay, your method of distraction may or may not have been a Bucky that was only wearing a tank top and some basketball shorts because he was playing volleyball with Steve, but your methods don’t matter. What matters is that you handled your sadness in a healthy way. Okay, so it may not have been _healthy _,per se. Just leave you alone!)__

__All in all, everything is perfect and wonderful and you are so happy that sometimes you worry that you’re _too _happy and that something will happen to ruin it, but as of yet everything is amazing. You’re happy and everyone else is happy and the world is a beautiful place.___ _

____Melinda doesn’t get much time off, but what she does get she spends with you and your other friends. She and Sam are still making goo-goo eyes at each other, but you try to turn a blind eye, ever since Sam and Laura recruited her into their respective ‘get (Y/N) and Bucky together’ campaigns. (You found out about both of those, and you feel beyond embarrassed that it’s so obvious that you like him. You have no idea that he likes you, too.) The one time you dared to tease her about her budding relationship with Sam, she sent you a _look _and then talked for ten minutes about how she’d make a move on Sam as soon as you made one on Bucky. You’d choked on your pasta salad and promised to leave her alone.___ _ _ _

______Speaking of Bucky, he’s doing really well. He hasn’t had a bad day since before you brought Melinda to meet everybody. The two of you get along famously, and you’ve noticed that he’s been smiling more. One day Steve takes you aside and comments on this._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Bucky is closer to his old self than he’s been since he fell.” Steve’s face is full of wonder and he looks beyond thrilled, which makes you happy. “You’re good for him.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m really glad,” you say. “He’s a really great guy.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Steve smiles broadly at that._ _ _ _ _ _

______“He sure is,” he agrees. “Someday we’ll have to find him a girl.” You don’t notice how carefully he studies you for your reaction, and you also miss how pleased he is to see you looking a little less than pleased at the prospect._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You should probably talk to him about that,” is all you say. Truthfully, the statement ruffled you a bit. The thought of Steve looking for a girlfriend for Bucky hasn’t even crossed your mind until now. It occurs to you that, going by his words, he’s still on the lookout, which probably means that you’re not up to snuff, and that bothers you to no end. Oh, sure, you _knew _that you and Bucky would probably never get together, but having it brought so clearly into focus is unpleasantly disillusioning.___ _ _ _ _ _

________Little do you know that Steve is making a mental note to tell Sam and Clint and Tony that, as far as he knows, you like Bucky as much as Bucky is into you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Which is a lot, by the way. The two of you have known each other for only a couple of weeks, but he’s already head over heels. It’s making Steve remember how quickly his buddy would fall for a girl back in the day, and it makes him happy, because any aspect of Bucky’s old character is a welcome thing to see. All of the guys have been trying their hardest to get the two of you together._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There has been much advice flowing when you leave the room. Thor and Clint both insist that the most important thing in winning a woman’s heart is listening to her, but Bucky already does a lot of that, and anyway, Steve is pretty sure that the listening doesn’t matter so much until you’re already together. Tony says that just saying what you’re feeling is a good way to go about it. Steve isn’t convinced, and Bucky looked pretty skeptical, too. Buck has never been a ‘talk about your feelings’ kind of guy. He does better with _showing _, which leads us to Scott’s advice: just kiss her. He’s admitted sheepishly that he and Hope didn’t even talk about what they were feeling until after at least three or four make-out sessions. Steve was amused to see Bucky blushing at that. But that also shows just how much Bucky likes this girl; seventy years ago, he’d have been giving that advice himself. Now, he’s shy. He wants her to like him more than he’s willing to get rejected.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Steve smiles. All in all, it’s a pretty good situation. He thinks that you’re just about the sweetest girl he’s ever met, besides Laura. (Natasha and Sharon are wonderful people, and he loves them, but he knows that if he called them ‘sweet’ they would be absolutely horrified.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It’s a warm, sunny Saturday when it happens. What happens? A lot._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________All of you are hanging out by the pool (excluding Melinda, because, sadly, she’s working today. Sam seems to feel her loss keenly). Clint, Scott, Steve, and Thor are in the pool playing with the kids. The rest of you are sunning on the chairs. You’re discussing how delicious breakfast was this morning and how you need to get Melinda to give him your compliments when a willowy, beautiful, brunette beauty approaches Bucky (who you’re sitting next to, by the way). Laura raises her eyebrow at you, and Jane nudges Pepper, who clamps a hand over Tony’s mouth. (Said man looked like he was getting ready to wolf-whistle, and while there’s a possibility that he was just yawning, Pepper’s not taking any chances.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Hello,” the girl simpers, and you sigh. The woman is _gorgeous _. And just from hearing her speak, she sounds nice and funny and she has a voice that could record audiobooks. And, the final strike in her favor, she looks like the kind of girl that Bucky used to go out with before… everything.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Speaking of whom, poor Bucky looks extremely uncomfortable. He’s got his ‘I don’t want to be here right now’ face on, and he’s shifting around nervously. You wonder if you can do anything to ease his discomfort, but then he responds to her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Hi,” he says quietly, but then he looks at you. You smile widely at him, because even though it pains you, he deserves to be happy. You want him to be happy. Plus, you’re really proud of him. He’s speaking to a stranger, and that’s a huge step forward. So you try to look as positive and encouraging as you can, and it seems to work, because he smiles back at you and then returns his attention to the girl._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“My friends and I were wondering if you wanted to come sit with us,” she continues, and your heart sinks. You haven’t had a chance to admire Bucky like this… well… ever. He’s wearing a long sleeved t-shirt, because he doesn’t like exposing his arm in public, but he’s got shorts on, and the shirt is fitted tightly enough that you can fully appreciate his buffness. But he’s going to go sit with his new friend. And that’s okay, honestly it is, except… well, never mind. “We’re pretty good company,” the girl adds coquettishly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Sorry,” Bucky says, and your heart soars. “I’ve got the best company in the world right here, and we’re not finished our conversation.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And he turns back to you, and he starts telling you about a prank he and Sam pulled on Steve the other day._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Your mind is whirling so quickly that you can’t really register what he’s saying. The girl is walking away dejectedly, Tony is high-fiving Bucky, Bucky is grinning at you… what even just happened? You wake yourself up enough to smile back at Bucky, and he looks happier than you’ve seen him in a while._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“She was nasty, wasn’t she?” he asks you, smiling, and you frown._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“She seemed nice to me, and she was really pretty!” you offer. Bucky chuckles and shakes his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Oh, (Y/N). What are we going to do with you? You’re just too nice!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You laugh along with him and the others, trying to process what even just happened. Bucky spoke voluntarily. He turned another girl down, basically saying that he prefers your company to anyone’s. Bucky is _still _smiling, and that makes you beam at him. He seems exhilarated after his successful interaction with a stranger, and you can’t blame him. You’re proud of him and surprised by him and, when you get right down to it, over the moon.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You don’t stop smiling for the rest of the afternoon. And, more importantly, you don’t stop talking to Bucky for the rest of the afternoon._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“No way!” Melinda squeals. She has run in on her thirty minute break (Tony passed an impromptu rule about that when he started talking to her about the ship and how it’s her favorite job so far. He likes hearing people praise his work. It makes him feel good about himself.) and you, Laura, Natasha, Pepper, and Jane are filling her in on what she missed. “He really said that?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Yep,” Jane says smugly, “and then he didn’t look away from (Y/N) until he left.)”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“No way!” Mel squeals again. She elbows you. “See? We _told _you he liked you.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________You blush._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Hey, we don’t know for _sure _…”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Shut up!” Natasha and Sharon say at the same time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“He does,” Sharon says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Trust us, darling,” Natasha adds, looking very confident in herself. (The ‘darling’ is a private joke between you two. One late ( _late _) night when you were so short on sleep that your brain wasn’t even really in the ‘on’ position, you’d told her that from some angles she looked like Zha Zha Gabor.) “We’re professionals.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“At what?” you ask. “Matchmaking?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Reading people,” Pepper answers for her. “She’s a super spy.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“That’s not exactly what I do…” Natasha begins, and then she shrugs. “Whatever. The point is, Barnes is smitten, and so are you, and if the two of you would just _talk _to each other then maybe we could stop this whole awkward little dance.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You rub your face with your hands._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Number one: you can’t know that for sure. You can’t read his mind.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“But…” Natasha begins, and you hold up a hand to silence her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“No. You can’t. And neither can I. It is very, very likely that you are completely right, because you are amazing at reading people, but it’s also possible that you’re wrong. Number two: there is no ‘awkward dance.’ We are friends. We’re good friends, in fact. Number three: we are not going to get together unless he says something. I might scare him, and there’s no way I’m ruining an amazing friendship with stupid feelings. So just leave it, guys!” Your little speech was delivered with a heartfelt passion, and you’re actually quite proud of it, but nobody’s expressions have changed, unless to take on a slightly patronizing look. You sigh. “Okay. Never mind. Carry on.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________And you just walk away, figuring that even if they’re going to plan your future you don’t have to listen to it. Your dramatic exit is completely ruined by hearing Jane saying, “They’re so _adorable _.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Adorable. Whatever. She knows nothing of you and Bucky’s relationship. It’s super mature and thoughtful and _beautiful _, not…___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Hey!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“AH!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________You sag against the wall, your heart pounding in your chest, as Bucky doubles over in laughter._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Your _face _!” he wheezes, when he has enough air to talk again. You don’t even deign to speak at him. You just glare at him.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“That was dirty, Barnes,” you scowl. “I was totally defenseless.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“It was also hilarious!” he argues. When you don’t show any signs of relenting, he shrugs. “You would have laughed even harder if it had been me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________That’s true._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“You’re right,” you concede, letting yourself smile. He smiles back at you, looking relieved. Why is he relieved? “Did you think that I was actually mad at you?” you ask him, sounding incredulous._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Yes,” he admits, “you were pretty convincing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Well, I was actually mad,” you tell him, but I think I’ll get over it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________He mops at his brow in an exaggerated manner, and you have to laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“You’re crazy, you know that?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________He grins unrepentantly at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, sad news. My life is just kind of going insane, so updates are going to slow down to about once a week. I promise that I'll still be updating, it'll just be a lot less frequently than it is now. Sorry to everybody who is loving this story! :(
> 
> Love you guys! See you next time!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!  
> I present you with a mix of angst and fluff with a dash of actual romance.  
> Enjoy!

It’s late. Well, ten o’clock in the evening, late. So it’s not that bad. Anyway, you and Melinda are hanging out with all your superhero buddies (although Laura, Clint, and Scott are planning on taking off for bed sometime in the new future.) 

Steve and Thor are joking around over in the corner. They decided to be mature and responsible people, since it is really, really hard to get them drunk and they thought that all of you might require a little supervision, but they’re being more silly than all of the rest of you put together. And, besides, all of you are very responsible. None of you have gotten intoxicated so far. 

And hopefully you’ll keep it that way.

Melinda and Sam are in the corner, sipping something that looks really strong. The way that they’re looking at each other keeps fooling you into thinking that they’re going to be making out in the next five minutes (not that that would be a bad thing; you’ve all been willing them to just resolve the tension, already), but they’ve been looking at each other like that for five hours, so you’re slowly losing optimism. 

Natasha and Bruce, you’re pretty sure, have _been _making out. They were respectful and kept their little… ‘activities’ out in the corridor, but they’re back now, looking at each other and being so adorable that you wish that you had a camera.__

__You have your memory, though, and that’s pretty much the same thing. You study every inch of their expressions and tuck them away into your memory to draw later._ _

__Your sketchbook is so full of Avenger sketches that you’ve bought another one, just to be sure that you’ll have enough space to keep drawing for the rest of the cruise. You love curling up in a corner when it’s just the kids in the room and drawing your heart out. Nobody else knows that you draw, just because you don’t feel confident in your abilities. The thought of them finding out about your sketches scares you a little. You’re scared that they’d disapprove – and you’re more than certain that everyone would be smug and absolutely unbearable if they saw all of the sketches of Bucky in there. You can’t seem to stop drawing him._ _

__But that’s inconsequential right now._ _

__You smile to yourself. Pepper and Tony are talking in earnest tones in one of the booths, a single candle in the middle of the table and matching glasses of wine in their hands. You can’t get over what a good couple they make. Pepper seems to tone Tony down a little bit (tone Tony! You’re pretty proud of your own brilliance.) and Pepper never smiles more than when she’s with her boyfriend._ _

__Speaking of boyfriends, you still don’t have one. You’re currently sitting in a corner, feeling a little lonely. Bucky wasn’t here when you got back from changing out of your bathing suit, which was - you do a little mental math – three hours ago. He’s still not back. You sigh and play with the miniature umbrella that’s sticking up out of your smoothie. (Sam whipped up some strawberry-banana smoothies, and since everything he makes is delicious you promptly took one of the glasses he offered you. He, being the guy he is, stuck a lovely little umbrella in there to make you smile. It worked.) You know that there’s nothing you can do, that if Bucky is having a bad day it’s out of your control, but you wish desperately that there was something - _anything _\- that you could do to help. Every time you see his face fall and his shoulders droop you want nothing more than to wrap your arms around him and hug him tightly until he’s feeling better.___ _

____But, of course, that would be inappropriate._ _ _ _

____All in all, though, despite the sadness of Bucky not being here, it’s a pretty fun time. You love all the people here, and Laura is beckoning you over._ _ _ _

____She’s probably going to say goodnight, you think._ _ _ _

____“Sorry for bringing you over here just to say goodnight – ” _called it _“ – but I wanted to ask if you wanted to come with Clint and the kids and I to the pool. We’re planning on going early, because Lila is insistent that there’ll be less people.” She rolls her eyes. “Anyway, we’d love to have you along. If you don’t mind getting up early, that is.”___ _ _ _

______“I don’t mind at all!” you exclaim. “I’d love to tag along.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Laura smiles._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Great! We’ll meet you here around... six thirty or seven? Does that sound good?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Sounds perfect!” you tell her. “See you then!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She waves as she herds her family out the door, and when she’s out of sight you amble over to where Wanda is sitting and surveying the room. (Vision is talking to Sam and Steve. Sam gets a kick out of using Vision as a form of Google.)_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey, Wands,” you greet her as you sit down, and she smiles at you._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hi, (Y/N),” she says._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Are you having a good night?” you ask her, and she smiles._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I am. Are you? Or is the absence of Bucky just too much?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You glare at her, and she giggles uncontrollably._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re like a third grader,” you harrumph, taking a sip of your smoothie._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No, _you _are,” she retorts. You find that a little ridiculous.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“ _I _am? No, I’m not! Name one way that I’m like a third grader.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You make more of a fuss about us teasing you than we do when we tease you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You feel stricken. Is it really bothering them that you’re... Your mind is put at ease by Wanda getting another giggle attack. She’s messing with you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You have to stop doing that!” you scold her gently. “You _know _that I’m bad at telling when you’re serious and when you’re not.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And everyone has taken advantage of this fact. Natasha, especially, enjoys messing around with you. It kind of reminds you of a cat playing with dinner – it’s pointless. She can fool _everybody _. Why does she feel such a thrill by tricking you into thinking she’s feeling something she’s not when even _Nathaniel _has figured out how to send you on an unnecessary guilt trip?_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“That’s what makes it so fun!” Wanda says. “Does it really bother you that much?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“ _Yes _,” you snap, exasperated.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Oh, then I’ll have to do it more often,” she says, before laughing until tears are running down her face. And you want to be mad at her, honestly you do. But you _can’t _. Not when you’ve seen the vulnerability in her face and you know how scared she is of disappointing anybody. So you laugh, instead, because it _is _funny, even if it is at your expense. Plus, Wanda is so adorable as she laughs at her own joke that you feel like it would be just plain rude to ignore her._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________When she (and, obviously by default, you) has calmed down, the two of you lapse into companionable silence. It’s quite nice, actually. She can tell if you have something you want to talk about, and if she has something she’ll want to say she’ll just say it. She says that you’re a very approachable person. Either way, she doesn’t say anything, but that’s okay. The two of you sip your drinks and watch everyone banter and feel very at peace with the world._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Until Steve comes over and asks you if you’ve seen Bucky. Then you start to wonder where on earth he is._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“No,” you tell the Captain. “Do you need him for something?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Steve shakes his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Oh, no,” he says. “I was just wondering, because I haven’t seen him in a while. But it’s okay.” He chuckles. “I’m pretty sure Bucky can protect himself.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You and Wanda laugh, too, because if a super soldier/assassin can’t protect himself, who can?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You’re still feeling a little concerned, though. What if he’s having a rough time, or he’s having flashbacks, or something? The thought of Bucky being out there with no one to comfort him bothers you, and you stand up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I think I’ll go take a walk. Get some fresh air.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Steve and Wanda wink at each other as you walk out of the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________It’s a beautiful night, you reflect as you look up at the stars. Not too cold, but not too hot, and certainly not rainy. After a couple minutes of simply admiring the beauty of the stars, you decide to try to find some constellations. Your goal is to make it to five, and you’ve found three by the time you round the corner. And then your walk is very unpleasantly interrupted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Where’re you going, baby?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________A very large, very sloppy, and very obviously drunk man towers over you. You cringe internally._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Um... away.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________At this point you’re not too concerned about being awkward, but then neither are you very concerned about any danger to yourself. You’ve dealt with this same type of thing more often than you care to remember, and you always managed to get rid of the other guys. You’ll do the same here._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Aww, but the view is so nice here.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You have to work to keep from writhing in disgust. His roaming gaze is absolutely repulsive, and so is the whiskey on his breath._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Yes, well, I happen to have a much nicer one waiting for me in my cabin.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________And, yes, you do. Because those pillows are so ridiculously gorgeous. They’re so squishy and soft and perfect and when you’re sleeping on them you feel like you’re sleeping on a cloud._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I’m pretty sure that you should stay here.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Oh shoot. He’s walking towards you, a look in his eye that you’ve seen far too many times. Does this really have to happen? Really? Now? When you’re happier than you’ve ever been in your life? You start to formulate your plan of escape, which you’ve done way too many times in your life. But hey, the upside is that you’re experienced and know what you’re doing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________That chair can be thrown behind you, and that corner will be much easier to turn around since you’re not drunk, and then there’s a fire extinguisher on the wall. If all else fails you can throw that him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I’m pretty sure that she shouldn’t.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________And then there’s a flash of movement and the sound of metal meeting flesh and the drunk falls over, knocked out cold._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Or not._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You barely have time to process that it’s Bucky before he’s in front of you, holding your face in his hands and checking you for any bruises or injuries._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Are you okay, darlin’? Did he hurt you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You shake your head, feeling almost bewildered at how fast he took care of the guy. Man._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I’m fine.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Are you sure?” he asks you anxiously, turning your face from left to right with his hands. “Because if you’re not...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I’m fine, Bucky,” you say, gently nudging his hands away from your face. (Not because you don’t want them there, but because you’re afraid that if they stay there any longer you’re going to grab him and kiss the life out of him. That whole ‘rescue’ thing he just did... it did things to you.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Okay,” he agrees reluctantly, lowering his hands. And then his brow furrows and he folds his arms as a thought occurs to him. “Why were you not screaming?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Why was I not screaming?” you ask, uncertain if you heard him right._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Why not?” he asks again. “You should have started as soon as the moron _spoke _to you.” He glares at the unconscious form on the ground.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I’ve dealt with jerks like him before,” you tell him, “without screaming.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Before?” Bucky looks like he’s about to have a mental breakdown. “This has happened before?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You shrug._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Yeah.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Why?” he asks you, looking absolutely furious. “Why weren’t you with somebody, or at home?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You’re tired. So tired. And you’d never admit it, but the encounter with the jerky drunk unnerved you. And that’s probably why you make the split second decision to tell Bucky about how rough it was before._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I didn’t have anybody, Buck, and I certainly didn’t have a home,” you say wearily._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He looks at you for a good ten seconds without saying anything. When he does speak again, he’s speaking much more softly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Why not?” he asks you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“It’s a long story,” you tell him. “The short version is that I had no family, no job, no money, and no friends.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“But why not?” Bucky persists._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“It happens,” you shrug. “My parents died, I got laid off, I couldn’t pay the rent, and I hadn’t been living in the area for very long.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Bucky looks subdued._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I... I didn’t know,” he says softly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You let out a bitter laugh. Talking about it is bringing some lousy feelings to the surface._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Why should you? I don’t talk about it. No one cares, anyway. I’m not even allowed on this boat, you know that? I didn’t pay for my ticket. I won it in a poker game. And if Tony ever finds out he’ll kick me off, and I’ll be somewhere else that I don’t know, but I’ll keep my head up and start over again because that’s what I always do. I’m always strong. But I’m so tired of it, Bucky. I just want... I just want to stop.” And now you’re crying. Great. You’ve bottled up way too many emotions. “I just... I can’t. Not anymore. You... you, and Steve, and Sam, and Wanda, and everybody, you’re my family now. But when we get off the boat... I won’t have any family anymore. I’ll be alone again. And I’m so tired, so, so tired, of being alone.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________By now you’re sobbing, and you can’t talk anymore. You bury your face in your hands and let the crying take over, huge, wracking sobs that shake your whole body. And you’re all alone and you don’t know what you’re going to do because surely he hates you now because you’re so weak... and then arms wrap around you, and one’s metal and one’s human, and Bucky pulls you in, and he’s engulfing you in an embrace that is so tight you can hardly breathe. That’s okay, though, because you can’t breathe anyway – you’re crying too hard – and you bury your face in his chest and _sob _.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Bucky can’t believe it. His brain can’t even process what’s happening._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________She’s hurting. She’s hurting so badly, and they all had no idea. How could she be so kind? So kind, and so loving, and so _happy _, when all along she’s been hurting like this? How could she have hidden the pain behind a smiling face?___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________It hurts him just to think about it and he pulls her closer, wondering how long she would have gone on without telling anyone if this hadn’t happened._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________This _. It makes him beyond angry to even think about the idiot lying on the ground, and the way he’d been eyeing her. He feels like hitting something, just thinking about it.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________So he doesn’t think about it. Instead he focuses on the fact that she’s here, in his arms, warm and safe and _hurting _.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________He can’t even imagine what it was like, losing her whole life at once. It must have been devastating. Had she cried herself to sleep? Had she looked at a bottle of pills and thought about ending the misery?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________The thought scares him more than anything has scared him in a very long time, and he readjusts his grip on her, needing to hold as much of her as possible. The least he can do is make her feel safe – because she _is safe. He’s here. There’s no way anyone else is coming near her as long as he’s here, and he’s not leaving anytime soon.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________Minutes pass, and his right arm falls asleep, but he doesn’t care. She’s quieted, her sobs turning into quiet tears, and the tears turning into silence. They stand there for a while and hold onto each other._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________“I’m sorry,” she whispers hoarsely, breaking the silence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________“Sorry?” he asks incredulously. “Why?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________“I didn’t mean to whine at you,” she says, wiping her eyes. “I didn’t mean to cry all over you. I’m sorry about that. It’s probably... it’s probably really...” She wriggles in his arms, trying to pull away. “You could have just left, you know. It would have been fine.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________He gives himself a moment to process this, and then, keeping a steady hand on her shoulders, holds her out at arms’ length so he can look in her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________“No, it wouldn’t have,” he says, and when she opens her mouth to protest he doesn’t let her. “You’re my friend, (Y/N). I care about you. If you need to cry, you can cry. If you want to yell, you can yell. And if you ever - _ever _\- need with anything - _anything _\- you let me know. Understand?”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________________Oh, gosh. Her eyes are filling with tears again. Nice work, Barnes. You made her cry._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________________“I’m sorry!” he panics. “I wasn’t trying to be harsh. If you want to leave - ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________________This time, she doesn’t let _him _finish. She throws her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. He freezes for a minute, feeling uncertain and cautious, and then she whispers a quiet ‘thank you’ in his ear and he wouldn’t be able to keep from hugging her if he tried.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________“And about those other things,” he says when he’s recovered his voice. (Not that he’d ever lost it. There was no lump in his throat. Of course not.) “First of all, it doesn’t matter how you got your ticket. You think that _Tony Stark _is going to kick you off his boat for winning a poker game?” You let out a teary giggle and Bucky smiles to himself. “Secondly, you’ve shown fantastic judgment.” When you make a questioning noise (you’re still not quite up to talking), he continues, “Nobody else calls this boat what it is! They call it a ship. Whatever, Stark.” He can feel you smiling against his shoulder, and he can feel you relaxing against him, and it makes him happier than anything has in a very long time. “Thirdly...” He can feel his throat restricting again, and so he backs away and looks you in the eye. “You will never be alone. You said it yourself; we’re your family. Family doesn’t just leave.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________________“Sometimes they do,” you mutter, looking at the ground, and he puts a finger under your chin to guide your eyes up to his._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________________“Maybe so,” he says, “But we won’t.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________________“Yeah,” you say, unconvinced, “but – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________________“No,” he says, “you don’t understand. I’m here, and I am not leaving you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________________When you still look a little uncertain, he says it again, and he sounds almost scared._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________________“I am not leaving you, (Y/N). _Ever _. I’m...” He thinks about what he’s going to say, and he wonders if he should be saying this to someone that he only met two and a half weeks ago. And then he knows, without a doubt, that he absolutely should. “I promise you, darlin’, that I’m with you ‘til the end of the line.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________You are, to put it mildly, flabbergasted by this statement. That’s... you know what it is. Steve told you the stories. That’s a big deal. You feel tears creeping up behind your eyes and, in an effort to distract yourself, try to think of something equally meaningful to say to him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________All you can come up with, though, is, “Me, too.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________But you mean it with all of your heart, and you can tell that Bucky is almost as touched as you were._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________Both of you try to think of something to say, but you end up just hugging him tightly, and he holds you just as closely. You close your eyes, feeling warmer and safer and happier than you ever have. You’d be fine with just staying like that, but eventually you realize that they’ll come looking for you if you stay away too long. Reluctantly, you open your eyes and break the spell._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________“We should get back to the others.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________He nods._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________“We should. I have a bag of salt and vinegar chips with my name on it, and it’s getting really impatient.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________One of Bucky’s favorite things about the present day, as you have learned, is all the new foods that people have come up with._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________“I think my name is on there, too,” you say, because even though they’re not new to you, you love all these foods, too._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________“Come, then, my lady,” he says dramatically._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________You laugh at him, but take the arm he offers with a ‘thank you, kind sir.’ You manage to keep from bouncing up and down with happiness, but only just; the arm he gave you was his metal one._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________You know enough about Bucky by now to realize that giving anyone permission to touch – or even, really, discuss – his left arm is a sign of his utmost affection and trust. You’re on that list, now, and it makes a thrill go through you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________________Bucky’s with you ‘til the end of the line._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Feel free to skip the rest of this. That's all you need to hear. :)  
> For those of you who are interested: Spacing my updates out a bit more was the perfect thing to do. It gives me a little bit of breathing room; I'm not constantly hammering away on my laptop. So thank you so much for being so understanding!  
> You're all the absolute best!   
> *hugs and love*


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely peoples!
> 
> I love you and you are amazing and I hope that you have the best day ever.
> 
> Much, much, much love.
> 
> Enjoy!!!

The next morning, you meet Laura and Clint in the ‘common room,’ as promised. And, to your surprise, Bucky’s there, too. Laura sees you eyeing him, and she laughs.

“He wanted to come,” she tells you in an undertone. “We were getting our bathing suits on when he knocked at the door, and asked if he could tag along. Something about wanting to get in the water.”

You’re more than a little surprised, because Bucky hasn’t gotten in the water since you’ve met him, but you’re definitely not disappointed.

“That’s great!” you say, trying to keep quiet. “That’s really... that’s amazing!”

“It sure is,” Laura agrees. “He hasn’t willingly shown his arm in public since we’ve met him. I don’t know what it is about this cruise, but he’s getting more and more comfortable with himself.” And then she looks at you, and she has a broad grin on her face. “Or maybe I do know what it is,” she says, elbowing you. “It mgith even be _who _.”__

__You shove her away playfully._ _

__“Stop it, Laura. He doesn’t... we’re not like that. You _know _this. We’ve talked about it already.”___ _

____She rolls her eyes at you._ _ _ _

____“Come _on _, (Y/N). I don’t know when you’re going to wake up and see what’s happening, but that man loves you more than he loves his privacy, and that’s saying something. So just kiss him already.”___ _ _ _

______She’s grinning again, and you swat at her again, but inside you feel a little fluttery. Really? He likes you that much? It’s more than a little exhilarating to think about._ _ _ _ _ _

______Fortunately, you can’t think about it for very long, because Clint beckons you over._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Morning, Sunshine!” he greets you._ _ _ _ _ _

______Sam called you ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ one rainy morning. He insisted that you were all the sun they needed, because you were so happy, and everyone had agreed. Now it was your official, Avenger-given nickname. And even though you pretended to dislike the moniker, you secretly loved it._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Morning, Barton!” you respond. “How’re things?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“They’re pretty great. I mean, I’m on a ship in the middle of the Caribbean, so they obviously can’t be that bad. How’re things with you?”  
He discreetly nods toward Bucky and you can feel yourself blushing._ _ _ _ _ _

______“They’re great, too,” you say smoothly, and you congratulate yourself on sounding so normal and unflustered._ _ _ _ _ _

______“They are?” he asks you, sounding more excited than he did when there was fresh apple pie for dessert. You feel almost bad for bursting his bubble._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well, I mean, they’re the same as they have been since I got on the ship,” you amend. “There’s sun, there’s sea, there’s lots of great food...”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You watch his face fall and feel like you kicked a puppy. But, really, is it even healthy for one man to be that enthused about another person’s love life?_ _ _ _ _ _

______“When are you going to change it, (Y/N)?” he whines. “You’ve got to do something soon. We’re over halfway through the cruise, and...”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Don’t say that!” It’s your turn to whine. “I don’t want to think about it!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He laughs, his previous good humor restored._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well, then don’t. Think about how cold the water is going to be and how Cooper is totally going to shove you in when you don’t expect it.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You shudder. Ah, the joys of cruising._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______In the end, it isn’t Cooper that shoves you in. It’s Bucky. And you don’t even have time to prepare yourself for it. One minute, you’re dangling your feet in the water, talking to Laura and having a brilliant time. The next, you’re flying through the air, totally disoriented, and have just enough time to take a deep breath before you land in the water. When you finally resurface (it took you a minute to get your bearings underwater), Cooper is doubled over in laughter. Clint isn’t much better. Bucky, the culprit himself, is grinning like a maniac, and as much as you want to be angry at him, the look on his face makes it impossible._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Dang it, Barnes!” you shriek across the water... just as Steve and Sam walk into view._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Language, Sunny!” Sam calls, and you chuckle along with him. (The ‘language’ story had been explained to you and Bucky at the same time, because for some reason it hadn’t come up in conversation before then, and Bucky had been more than a little confused. “But he was... we were in the _military _,” he said. “And your point is?” Sam had asked. Bucky had evidently not seen the frantic ‘stop! Don’t say it!’ motions a red-faced Captain America was making, and continued, “Steve was worse than everyone else put together.” That had been an interesting dinner.)___ _ _ _ _ _

________You don’t have much time to be even partially angry at Bucky, because before he’s even finished laughing at you and high-fiving Cooper, Steve gives him a shove and he ends up in the water, too._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Now you’re laughing your head off at him, and he looks so disgruntled that Cooper’s laughing at him, now. Steve and Sam are the ones high-fiving, and Clint is torn between loyalty to his friend and hysterical laughter at said friend’s face. Laura has no such inhibitions, and her face is bright red._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You traitor!” Bucky shouts at Steve, and Steve feigns surprise._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Traitor? Me? I was only avenging the lady, you jerk.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Punk,” Bucky retorts, before hauling himself out of the water and pulling his shirt off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Your mind goes completely blank, because holy _cow _he’s gorgeous. You suppose that doing intense physical work for years and years will do that to you, but still. _Wow _. You’re so in awe of his perfect abs and perfect chest and perfect arms and perfect everything (he is so totally your type) that you forget how to tread water and sink underneath and come up spluttering. As you flail around and tell yourself that this is pathetic, that treading water is _muscle memory _and the fact that your brain is not in the water right now shouldn’t matter, you catch Laura’s eye and see her grinning at you. It makes you turn bright red and cough even more, and you decide that slipping back under the water is the best option. At least no one can see you._______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________And it’s very lovely, actually. You’ve been told that you love the water more than fish do, and it’s probably true. You float around, holding your breath and keeping your eyes open and admiring the way that the sunbeams pierce the water. You bob back up for air and then slide beneath the surface again, closing your eyes this time. This is perfect. This is relaxing. This is..._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Something grabs your foot, and your heart stops beating. You open your eyes, and Bucky’s right there, in your face, bug-eyed and distorted by the water and, quite frankly, terrifying. Your reflex reaction is to scream, and even underneath the water, with bubbles blurring your view, you can see that he’s laughing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Both of you have to race to the surface, because neither screaming nor laughing is conducive to peaceful underwater subsisting, and when you have enough oxygen in your system to register sounds from the outside world, Bucky’s coughing even harder than you are – and still laughing in between._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You sh-should have seen y-your f-face,” he splutters, still guffawing, and you, still coughing, smack his arm. Huge mistake – his skin is warm, despite the water, and it’s his _arm _, which is part of his _body _, and he’s so firm yet soft and absolutely perfect that you yank your hand, which feels like it’s burning, away as you blush furiously._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“That was so mean!” you tell him sternly. “Mean and unfair!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________He’s still laughing at you, and you try to be indignantly dignified as you clamber out onto the side. Of course, it doesn’t work – you’ve never felt less dignified in your life – so instead of stalking away as you were planning on doing, you jump back in again, because the breeze feels cold after the warmer water._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________In the end, all five Bartons and Sam and Steve join you in the water, and everyone has a marvelous time splashing each other and dunking each other and basically being ten years old again. While the boys are having a breath holding contest over in the corner (Clint, surprisingly, wins. Apparently Super Lungs didn’t come with the Super Soldier bodies. Sam claims that Clint has gills and so it’s unfair, but everyone else just shrugs and lets the archer have his moment, which Clint appreciates.), you and Laura are competing with Lila to see who can do the most laps of the shallow end without coming up for air. (Laura added ‘without bumping into other people in the pool’ to the rules after Lila accidentally buried her face in some innocent pool-goer’s leg.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________All in all, it’s pretty great._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________After a solid three hours, you climb out of the water, pleading waterlogged ears. You find an unoccupied chair and stretch yourself out, heaving a sigh of contentment. There’s wind, there’s sun, you’re probably going to be _so _sunburned by the time this is over...___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“This seat taken?” You feels a shadow cover your face and open your eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________It’s Bucky._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________You sit up and smile at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Not at all!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He grins and sprawls unceremoniously. You lean back, too, and sigh again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“This is great, isn’t it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He nods._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Pretty fantastic.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________There’s some silence, but it’s the nice kind of silence. The _Bucky _kind of silence, where neither of you are saying anything, but neither of you need to, because both of you know that both of you are happy, and all is well with the world.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________But all silence ends up being broken, and this one is no exception._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I was thinking,” Bucky begins, and you don’t let him finish because that’s too perfect an opportunity to pass up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“That’s some dangerous territory,” you tease him, and he tries to glare at you. Despite himself, though, he ends up smiling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“You’re so proud of yourself,” he says, “and that’s not even a _good _insult.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You can’t disagree with him, so you just shrug._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Maybe I don’t _want _to give you a good insult.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Well, whether you do or don’t, I’ve been thinking.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________This time you let him finish._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“You need to learn self defense.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Then will my body be as perfect as yours?” you say without thinking, and then cover your mouth. “Oops. That wasn’t supposed to... that was not supposed to come out of my mouth. I’m sorry. That was...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Instead of being offended, Bucky looks _pleased _. Men.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I’ll take that as a compliment.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“You should!” you blurt out, and then you cover your face with your hands. “Don’t listen to me. Pretend I’m not here. Just...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You can’t see it, because your hands are over your face, but Bucky’s grinning like an idiot._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Moving on,” he says eventually, when it’s clear that you’re completely mortified and you’re not going to say anything without encouragement, “I think that it would be a good idea for you to learn how to throw a punch.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I know how to throw a punch!” you tell him indignantly, and he raises his eyebrows._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Do you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You suddenly feel unsure of yourself. Maybe you’re _not _so great at defending yourself. But...___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Okay, so maybe I don’t,” you admit, blushing a little._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“There! You see?” he crows triumphantly. “How are you supposed to ward off scary drunk guys if you can’t even punch them?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“How will my knight in shining armor rescue me if I punch them myself?” you ask him. It’s not a good comeback (actually, it’s not a comeback at all), but you’re feeling lazy and not very self defense learning-y._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Bucky chuckles mirthlessly. “I’m no knight in shining armor, doll,” he says dryly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“You’re my knight with a shining arm, then,” you retaliate, “and, besides, I don’t feel like getting off of my chair.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“And now the truth comes out,” Bucky laughs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________You shrug._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“It’s probably a good idea. You’re not wrong; I don’t know anything about fending for myself.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Bucky nods._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Good enough. When do you want to start?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“I don’t really care – as long as it’s not now.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________He rolls his eyes at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Where’s your motivation?” he asks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“I think I lost it,” you tell him. “I must have dropped it when you threw me into the pool.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________You're feeling very pleased with your well-aimed jab, but he is not impressed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Whatever, (Y/N).”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh girl... Self defense lessons with Bucky??? Sign me up!
> 
> I just want to give a special shout out to all my commenters, because I love all of you SOOOOOOO much!!! It makes my day every time I see that I have a new one. (I totally don't squeal and jump around and shriek "YES" five thousand times before actually reading it.)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the update!!!
> 
> XOXOXOXOXO


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh... oh my...  
> I am so, so, so sorry that I let it go this long! I feel absolutely terrible.  
> And I'm an excuse maker so I'm going to make one: I had no wifi for a really long time. Yeah, I know. It's a lousy excuse.  
> And I am SO sorry that it's taken this long.  
> I'm not even sure that this chapter is worth the wait.  
> I'm really sorry! Love you guys!  
> Enjoy!

You stagger over to your water bottle on shaky legs, dragging air into your burning lungs. You chug the lifesaving liquid, ignoring the fact that some of it is dribbling down your chin. At this point, you have much more important things to worry about – like surviving this training session. 

“That was okay,” Bucky says, “but you should have straightened up a little.”

You glare at him. He hasn’t even broken a sweat, and he’s breathing just as easily as he was when he first walked into the room. Curse his perfectness.

You try to think of some way to express your utter disgust for his distasteful comment, but the best you can come up with is, “Steve’s right. You’re a jerk.” 

He raises an eyebrow, looking amused.

“Is that so?” he questions you. You just keep drinking your water, steadfastly ignoring him. Okay, so maybe not so steadfastly ignoring him. Okay, so you were only going to ignore him until you finished taking this sip of your water.

“Yes,” you tell him emphatically.

“I suppose you’re right,” he drawls in his Brooklyn accent, which does things to you at the best of times. And, to make matters worse, he does a little swish of his hair at the same time. _And _, to top it all off, he winks at you, too.__

__Darn. After the workout he just put you through, you did not need your heart to speed up any more. At this point, you’re worried that cardiac arrest is a very real threat._ _

__“But,” he continues, and you snap to attention and hope really hard that your drooling wasn’t _that _obvious, “I’m a nice jerk.”___ _

____“That’s debatable,” you begin, but he just keeps talking over you, pretending that you didn’t even speak._ _ _ _

____“If I wasn’t a nice jerk, I’d keep you working on your kicks. But I am a nice jerk, so I’m going to let you go take a break.”_ _ _ _

____Oh. Well, a break is nothing to turn up your nose at. If a momentary respite from your pain is involved, you’re not going to pass up this offer._ _ _ _

____“Okay, so maybe you _are _a nice jerk,” you concede, and he laughs at you.___ _ _ _

______An answering grin comes to your face, uncalled for, as you amble over to sit down by Laura. She eyes your red and sweaty face with chagrin._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ooh. Looks rough.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“It is,” you groan, resting your head on the table. “He’s a slave driver.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She nods, a little smile on her face._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I felt the same way when Clint made me do the same thing.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______That grabs your attention, and you sit up straight._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Really? He did?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She nods again._ _ _ _ _ _

______“He was so insistent that I learn how to protect myself. We worked for _hours _, and it was _horrible _. I hated it.”_____ _ _ _ _ _

__________“But are you awesome now?” you ask, thinking that this is the perfect opportunity to see what you’re going to get out of this crazy intense training. “Can you take someone down in two kicks?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Honey, I can take someone down in one,” she tells you, looking amused. “Clint taught me everything he knows.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Really?” You’re getting more excited by the minute. “You can?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I just told you I could,” she laughs. “Yes, I can. And if I know Bucky – and I’m pretty sure I do – you’re going to be a lot more awesome than me by the time he’s finished with you. He knows a lot more than Clint ever will.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You have to sit back and digest this. You’re going to be _awesome _. You’ll be able to defend yourself from anything. You’ll take down houses - no, villages – no, _cities _\- that are planning bad things. You’ll –_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“But, (Y/N),” Laura’s voice breaks through your excited fog, “Don’t forget that you have a long way to go, and that it’s going to hurt a lot before you get there.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You groan again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Really, Laura? I was in the middle of destroying HYDRA once and for all.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Destroying HYDRA?” Sharon plops down on the seat beside you. “I want in!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Wanda follows suit, parking her rear on the chair beside Sharon. Pepper and Jane, however, true to character, are dignified and ladylike as they take the remaining seats. You wistfully wonder how it must be to be perfect, but Pepper’s voice distracts you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“What’s this about taking down HYDRA?” she raises an entertained (and perfectly groomed, you sigh to yourself) eyebrow at you. “I’m sure that we have some unused bots that could help you out if you want them.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You laugh along with her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It was pretty silly,” you admit, “but Laura was just telling me about how Clint taught her self defense and how she can take someone down in one kick, and then she mentioned that Bucky knows tricks that Clint doesn’t, and I got a little carried away.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Ah,” Jane nods in understanding. “I did the same thing after Thor taught me to flip someone over my shoulder.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Before you can gape at her, Sharon is chiming in, “My moment was when Steve showed me how to roundhouse kick.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Pepper nods._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“My favorite part of training was when Tony got out the guns. Those were good times!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________At this point you’re so flabbergasted that you don’t know what to say._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“So... you’ve _all _done this?” you ask, when they’ve finished discussing all the amazing things they can do. Geez. Some people just don't know when to stop bragging._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

______________Everyone nods, including Wanda. You process that for a minute._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Were you sweaty and tired and miserable, too?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________All five women nod furiously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It’s absolutely horrible!” Pepper says, pulling a face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Especially when you’re not used to it.” Sharon adds._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Just wait until he’s got you doing stamina,” Laura shudders._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Wanda just pats your shoulder in sympathy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It’s so terrible,” Jane agrees._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You nod so hard that your neck almost comes unhinged. “I feel like my legs are going to fall off. My back is killing me. I think I’m dying,” you tell them, happy to hear that there’s sympathy. But then when you look up, everyone has fallen silent and they’re staring upwards. You follow their gaze, and there is Natasha, looking at you with an unreadable face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Oh, shoot. Darn. Dang it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________She was _tortured _as part of her training, wasn’t she? They did terrible things to her at her... establishment. Well, good job, (Y/N). You just succeeded in angering the (arguably) deadliest human being in the world, and now she’s going to kill you. Well, it was a good life. At least you got to go on a cruise. Too bad you didn’t ever get to make out with Bucky, though. That would have made it an even better one.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Half a minute and many panicked thoughts later, Natasha is still not moving, and you are absolutely terrified by now. Is it going to hurt very much? Will you bleed? What about the kids? Who will clean up the mess?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________And then, suddenly, Nat is laughing harder than you’ve seen _anyone _laugh in your life. She giggles and chortles and clutches her stomach, and she ends up on the floor, still shaking with silent laughter.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Laughter is contagious, and soon all of you are giggling along – not because you think it’s funny, but because she’s laughing and you don’t know what else to do. It’s nervous laughter, really._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________When Nat finally recovers, she stands up in one graceful motion and points at you, still chortling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Your _face _, (Y/N)! You were _terrified _!”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________And then she lapses into giggles again. You scowl._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Darn right I was!” you tell her. “Do you have any idea how scary you are?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Not really,” Laura answers for her. “Natasha sees herself as a cuddly teddy bear.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Natasha harrumphs and rests a hip against the table. You hesitate for half a second and then scooch over, patting the available seat beside you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Here,” you tell her. “You’re so tiny that I’m sure we can both fit.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________She smiles at you – a genuine, heartfelt smile, and sits down._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I’m gross,” you warn her. “Bucky and I were training earlier.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________She scoffs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“You think that’ll bother me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You shrug, laughing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Just wanted to make sure that you weren’t... I don’t know...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I know,” she says, and her tone has shifted from teasing to serious. “Thanks, (Y/N).”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You blush (hey, on the plus side, you’re so red from the exercise that no one will be able to tell) and hastily try to change the subject._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Hey, Laura, did you – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Natasha cuts you off. Clearly assassins are not taught manners._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Did you say that Barnes is training with you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Yeah. He’s insistent that I learn, because apparently I’m weak and feeble,” you huff. She smirks, and, without warning, grabs your hand and yanks you up from your chair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I’ve got some tricks you should learn,” she tells you as she drags you along behind her. You just have enough time to wave at all the girls before Nat has the two of you out of the door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You’re maybe three steps outside of the door when a crowd of people surges around you. Natasha instinctively lets go of your hand, which makes you lose your balance because she’s been pulling at you like some kind of machine, and you accidentally stumble into her. Regaining your balance, you look up at the group of people surrounding you. You’re a little overwhelmed, and more than a little out of your depth. You’ve never really experienced this before. Which, to be honest, surprises you, because you’ve been hanging out with the _Avengers _. They’re the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes! (According to Tony. If you ask anyone else they’re just a group of talented individuals. Personally, you like Tony’s description better.)___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“That’s a lot of people,” you mutter to Nat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Occupational hazard,” she tells you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Who is this?” someone asks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Natasha is opening her mouth to answer when someone else shoves a piece of paper and a pen in her face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Can you give me your autograph?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You can tell that the famous Black Widow is a little annoyed, but that’s only because of how well you’ve gotten to know her. (And, of course, because she isn’t really making an effort to hide it.) However, whatever annoyance she may have had disappears when she looks down and sees that it’s a little girl, who can’t be more than five or six._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Of course I can, sweetie,” she says warmly, crouching down to the girl’s level and signing her name with a flourish. You’re watching over her shoulder, and you can’t help grinning when Natasha adds a heart and a smiley face to the paper._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________A hand on your shoulder jerks you out of your warm and fuzzy trance-like state, and you whirl around to see the girl that Bucky rejected by the pool peering into your face. This time, she has a whole gaggle of friends behind her, all of whom have perfectly styled hair and perfectly done makeup and perfectly done outfits, which makes you more than a little self-conscious of your sweaty tank top and baggy sweatpants._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Umm... hi?” you offer, but instead of responding the girl turns to her friends._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“OMG,” she says, and your nose wrinkles in confusion. Isn’t that just a texting expression? Are you _allowed _to say it out loud? What even is this? “That’s the girl that was at the pool with them the other day!” She turns back to you, and the expression on her face scares you. it’s like confusion, hostility, and indifference all rolled into one. “It was you, right?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Umm... yep. That was me,” you tell her, and, for good measure, you add, “I love your top.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Her face softens a little._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“OMG, thanks! I bought it at – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Thankfully, Nat’s hand is suddenly on your shoulder, and she’s guiding you away from the people. However, you can’t help hearing the hostile mutters, and you feel a little blue, because you know that they’re aimed at you. However, you’re almost over it when Natasha whirls around, and you can tell from the expression on her face that a speech is coming on._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“I can hear that there’s some confusion as to the identity of this lovely lady,” she says crisply. (You’re distracted from the crispness by the fact that she called you a lovely lady.) “Her name is unimportant. What is important is that you all realize that she is a friend of mine, and she is a friend of everyone’s. She is one of the sweetest, kindest, most loving people I have ever had the luck to meet, and there is to be absolutely _no _hostility toward her. Am I understood?” And she gives one of her most intimidating stares at everyone in general.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Your mind is in an uproar. What even... what? She just said that? Seriously? Natasha Romanoff really thinks that highly of you? Everyone in the fangirl crowd seems to be just as befuddled as you, because there’s only a soft murmur going on. Before you can think clearly enough to say or do anything, Nat’s hand is on your arm again, and the two of you are walking away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Apparently there’s a little room for training that no one has bothered to tell you about (you and Bucky train in the common room), but, of course, Romanoff knows where it is. She shuts the door and turns to you. She’s about to say something, but before she can you interrupt her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Do you really think that?” you ask her. She gives you _the look _.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“I wouldn’t have said anything if I hadn’t meant it,” she says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________You don’t even start rambling awkwardly. That’s how surprised and touched you are. You just say, “Thanks, Natasha.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________She smiles at you, the warmest smile she’s ever given you before, and then she gets down to business.  
“Okay, so here’s what Barnes doesn’t know,” she tells you seriously, stepping out of her shoes and shrugging off the light jacket she had on. “You’re a woman, and so, by nature, you fight differently than he does. Of course, he doesn’t realize that. Men never do. Luckily for you,” and here she gives you an impish grin that clues you in as to how she’s managed to convince people that she’s a happy and cheerful PA, “I am also a woman, and I can show you what you need to know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________That makes you grin, too, and also makes you really excited. You’re getting trained by the Black Widow herself! Granted, you muse, you rather enjoyed having Bucky _right there _, because even if his apparent inability to get out of breath annoys you, he’s kind of gorgeous and you like looking at him. If you have to have someone else, though, you’re glad that it’s Natasha.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________Thirty minutes later you’re not so happy. She’s crammed more fighting techniques and stances and moves into your head than you’ve ever thought possible, and you can actually _do _all of them, but your legs hurt and your abs hurt and your arms hurt and you don’t want to do this anymore.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Okay,” Nat says, “Let’s try something a little harder.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________Let’s not, you think. Let’s go sit down and get Sam to make a milkshake._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“When I say go,” she continues, unaware of your rebellious thoughts, “we’re going to start sparring. Don’t worry,” she adds, eyeing your suddenly panicked face, “I’ll go easy. You’re mostly going to be worrying about blocking my hits, and if you don’t manage to, I won’t actually hit you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Oh, wow,” you say, “I get special treatment!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“You better believe it!” she snorts. “And this is only because you’re new and I’m taking pity on you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Well, I appreciate it,” you inform her, and she smiles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Good to know,” she says, and then, before you can recover from your warm fuzzies, she says, “Go!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________Of course it was too good to last._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________You manage to hold your own, though, surprising yourself with how agile you are. You somehow keep her from touching you, and you even block the surprise kick she throws in, and you’re feeling pretty good about yourself when, all of a sudden, there’s a warm breath on your neck and a voice in your ear._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“You should have kept your back straighter there,” Bucky murmurs, and you feel shivers go down your apparently not straight enough spine. As if his voice wasn’t enough to reduce you to a puddle of mush, he places his right hand on your waist and his left on your shoulder, and moves you so that you’re standing however he thinks you should be. “That’s a little better.” But he doesn’t take his hands off of you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________Your mind is completely blank._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Umm... thank... yeah... is...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________He chuckles, and you almost fall over._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“No!” he reprimands. “You just lost your positioning.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________And he readjusts you, and at this point you aren’t even capable of coherent thought. Thankfully, Natasha, who until now has been watching this interaction with a knowing smirk, winks at you and comes to the rescue._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Here, Barnes,” she says, stepping back, “you have a go.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________Bucky lets go of you, and you simultaneously breathe a sigh of relief at and want to cry because of the loss of contact._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Why not?” he muses as he takes Natasha’s spot. You can tell that he’s feeling pretty good about himself, and you decide that he’s going to be taken down. You stand up straighter and try to remember all of the tips Nat’s given you. You’re so busy psyching yourself up that you miss the raised eyebrows Natasha and Bucky give each other. Well, the raised eyebrow Bucky gives her. Natasha, unbeknownst to you, has known that you’ve got great potential since she first met you, and while she is pleased with the way that you’re soaking all of the training up like a sponge, she’s not exactly surprised._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________The two of you stare at each other while Natasha smirks from the sidelines (honestly, the Avengers have a serious smirking problem. You’re starting to think that it’s their faces’ natural resting position.) until Bucky suddenly starts to swing at you. You, to you and Bucky’s mutual surprise and you and Natasha’s mutual delight, dodge it and send back a blow of your own. (This makes Natasha give a little bounce on her heels, she’s so pleased. She hasn’t really taught you offense yet, and the fact that you’re fighting back goes to show that her little theory that you’re a natural combatant is completely true.) Bucky is so surprised by that that he misses the sweep you give with your leg, and, long story short, within thirty seconds of when you started you’ve got him pinned to the ground. He stares up at you in bewilderment, and you stare down at him, feeling just as surprised. But, eventually, the combination of your success and Bucky’s wide and shocked eyes makes you bounce up and do a little Snoopy dance._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Did you see that?” you ask Natasha, utterly elated. “Did you _see _that?”___ _________________________________

“I was standing here the whole time,” she reminds you. “I’d have to be blind to have missed it.”

____________________________________She’s looking entirely too deadpan to be that impressed, so you try to calm yourself down. Then again, she’s very skilled at hiding her emotions, so maybe she is pleased and just isn’t showing it. Either way, you’re pleased enough with yourself for you and Natasha _and _Bucky, so you’re not too bothered.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“That... You cheated!” Bucky accuses you, picking himself up off the ground and dusting himself off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“No, I didn’t!” you tell him, righteously offended by the question._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Well, then, Natasha did something... she gave you hints!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“No, I didn’t!” Nat glares at him, looking a little offended, too._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________Ha._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Either way,” Bucky continues, looking a little defeated, “I was going easy on you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________Well, there’s no way you can argue with that, so you settle for continuing your Snoopy dance. Bucky scoffs at you and crosses his arms in his ‘I’m the Winter Soldier and you shouldn’t mess with me’ stance that he only adopts when he’s feeling insecure. That, combined with the fact that you really don’t have enough energy to keep Snoopy dancing, makes you stop bouncing around and grab your water bottle._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Well, I’m sorry that I did exactly what you wanted me to do,” you snark at him, before gulping some water._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________He rolls his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Yeah, okay. Stop. You don’t have to rub it in.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“You know why I was able to do that?” you say. “It’s because Natasha is the most amazing teacher ever.” You amble over to her and give her what you hope comes across as an adoring smile. She looks appropriately flattered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“That’s probably it,” she nods as she opens the door and you follow her out. “It’s girl power.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________Bucky scoffs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Yeah, right. Girl power is something that someone made up to make little girls eat their veggies.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“No, it’s something that I made up because I’m awesome,” Natasha retorts. “Just ask any of the fans. They may think that you’re cool, but they think that I’m cooler. And you know why?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Because they’re stupid?” Bucky offers. “I have an weapon that uses air built into my arm. No way is anything cooler than that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“No, they are not _stupid _,” Natasha says scornfully, implying that it’s Bucky that is the stupid one, “they are _smart _. I _am _cooler than you.”_______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________You’re not invested in this ‘who is cooler than who’ battle anymore. Something that Bucky said earlier caught your attention._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________“Do you really have an air weapon built into your arm?” you ask Bucky. He drops the ‘I’m better than you’ attitude and grins at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________“You betcha,” he says, and does something with his fingers which apparently unlocks something in the arm because Tony is just weird with his designs, and a stream of air comes out of it. “It’s more of an air conditioning system, actually,” he says sheepishly when Nat gives him a look that clearly says ‘weapon?’ “But it’s still pretty cool, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________“Oh, yeah!” you say, fascinated with the fact that he has something like that in his _arm _.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________“But not cooler than me,” Natasha insists, and you laugh. Bucky looks at you, apparently feeling betrayed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________“Are you taking her side?” he asks you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________“I kind of have to,” you tell him, pretending to be reluctant._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________“But how could you?” he asks, still sounding betrayed. And you would feel bad, really you would, but he probably _knew _that his whole little ‘stance correcting’ thing would throw you off, so you really don’t.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________“Well,” you begin, glancing over at Natasha. She picks up on what you’re about to say and grins gleefully. “Because of _girl power! _”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may be a little more than a week before I update again, but it's definitely not going to take as long as it did this time.  
> Thank you for reading!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my darlings!  
> I don't have a lot to say about this chapter. There are no warnings, except that some Kleenex may or may not be needed. They were for me, but then I'm so emotional that I cried during Curious George. So use your own discretion.  
> Enjoy!!!

“Come _on _!” Cooper screeches at you. “We’re going to be late!”__

__“There’s no such thing as late when you don’t have anywhere to be,” you remind him mildly. He glares at you._ _

__“Yeah, well, the island is calling my name, so let’s _go _.”___ _

____Steve laughs at him as he finishes rubbing sunscreen onto Cassie’s back. (Scott is in his room, grabbing his swim trunks.)_ _ _ _

____“You’re so impatient, Cooper,” he says. “Loosen up. It’s not even (Y/N)’s fault that we’re not off of the ship yet.”_ _ _ _

____“You’re right,” Cooper says, dropping his bag and darting off, “It’s Tony’s.”_ _ _ _

____You and Steve laugh at him together._ _ _ _

____Why is Cooper so excited? Because you’re all going sightseeing, that’s why. The _JARVIS _is in the port of some Caribbean island (you probably should know the name, but you’ve been working really hard with Natasha and Bucky for the last few days) and the whole gaggle of Avengers has decided to go exploring.___ _ _ _

______You’d been a little unsure of whether or not you were invited, until you said as much to Wanda. You’d gotten a dramatic eye roll and a very thorough tongue lashing. Apparently you are to regard yourself as an honorary member of the Avengers. When you asked her what ‘honorary’ meant, she explained that you were officially a part of the pack and automatically included when anyone said ‘the Avengers,’ but you didn’t get to go on missions because, talented as you may be in self defense, you’re not quite at the ‘fighting rogue robots’ stage._ _ _ _ _ _

______You didn’t really care about the not getting included in missions, because getting shot at doesn’t really appeal to you. But being included in the group does, and you don’t think that anyone except Wanda knows quite how much it means to you. You’ve lived most of your life on your own, with no one around to hang out with or be supported by. But all of a sudden you have a surrogate family, and all of them love you and you love all of them more than you’d even thought possible, and it means more to you than you’ll ever be able to put into words._ _ _ _ _ _

______Not that you even said that much to Wanda, but she can semi read minds so you figure that she got the gist of it. And her slightly watery eyes might have been a bit of a giveaway._ _ _ _ _ _

______However that may be, you are definitely tagging along, and you’re just as excited as Cooper. You’ve slathered sunscreen onto yourself and Laura (“Clint may be used to the heat of the tropical sun,” she told you, “but the kids and I are most certainly not.”) and now all that remains is to gather the rest of the Avengers into the common room so you can all finally take off._ _ _ _ _ _

______Melinda, to your and Sam’s (and everyone’s) dismay, does not have the day off, so she won’t be coming. But Sam promised her so many times to bring her pictures and trinkets that you’re pretty sure she’s going to feel like she came, anyway._ _ _ _ _ _

______Thor and Jane are standing by the door; Jane looking as fabulously put together as she always does in a cute little summery dress and matching sunglasses and Thor looking a little less put together in a slightly horrendous Hawaiian shirt and baggy khaki shorts._ _ _ _ _ _

______Apparently it was twinsie day, because Bruce is wearing essentially the same outfit. Natasha has apparently gone for a casual look, because she’s wearing jean shorts and a loose black tank top. (Granted, her ‘casual’ is ten times better than anyone else’s ‘I spent two hours working on this,’ but that’s just because she’s Black friggin’ Widow and, for her, there’s no such thing as ‘frumpy.’)_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bucky and Sam and Clint are all clustered together, talking very fervently about something. Probably a video game. (Earth’s mightiest heroes they may be, but mature they are most certainly not.)_ _ _ _ _ _

______Scott just jogged in, a pair of red and black checkered swim trunks clutched triumphantly in his fist._ _ _ _ _ _

______You’re helping Laura wrangle her children, and Wanda is explaining to Vision that, for him, swim trunks are optional but strongly recommended._ _ _ _ _ _

______Sharon and Pepper are standing in the corner, and Pepper is making a valiant effort to look calm and untroubled._ _ _ _ _ _

______Not that it’s very practical to even bother looking either when Tony Stark is involved in her life. Tony does what he wants when he wants to do it, and if anyone were to think that it is possible to make him act his age their hopes would be quickly dashed._ _ _ _ _ _

______True to character, he comes dashing in around forty-five minutes late._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Sorry I’m late,” he puffs, as Cooper glares at him and everyone else tries really hard not to roll their eyes, “but I forgot to set my alarm and... yeah.” He loses steam when no one looks surprised, and has the grace to look sheepish. “Sorry, guys.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______There’s silence for a minute, and then Thor shrugs._ _ _ _ _ _

______“All’s well that ends well,” he philosophizes, and Steve agrees._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Let’s just go,” he suggests, and everyone likes that idea, so within ten minutes all of you are marching down the ramp._ _ _ _ _ _

______It’s a beautiful city, you realize quickly. Everything is colorful. The shops are bright and welcoming, and almost make you want to run in and buy a dress just because of how _happy they look. The people nod in your direction with a smile, and you beam back at them, delighted with everything that you see. The deep blue sky, the salty air, the crash of the waves that you imagine you can hear over the hustle and bustle of the city... it’s enough to put a bright smile on your face and keep it there.__ _ _ _ _ _

_______ _ _ _ _ _

_______Unbeknownst to you, Bucky is enjoying watching you almost as much as you are enjoying taking in the sights. He has a stupid grin plastered all over his face, and he doesn’t even care. He moves towards you almost without realizing it, and when you notice that he’s there, you flash him a smile that almost stops his heart._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” he observes, and your happy little skip at that is distracting enough that he almost misses your reply._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______He’s a gentleman, though, so he drags his attention back to you._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Pretty?” you scoff. “It’s _amazing _, Bucky!”___ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________He loves hearing you say his name. It makes something warm and fuzzy light up inside him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Oh,” he chuckles, holding up a placating hand. “It’s not pretty. My mistake.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________You laugh at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Of course it’s pretty, you goof. I just meant that... well...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________You sigh in contentment and delight, and it sends a thrill through Bucky, because you sound so dang _happy _\- which, in its turn, makes him happy, too. He can feel your joy, your glee, grabbing hold of him, too, until he’s grinning almost as widely as you. His veins are thrumming with the anticipation of exploring a new place, which is something he hasn’t felt in a very long time. When all of your traveling experiences are transporting you to your next kill, you tend to lose enthusiasm for it. But that’s in the past, and now he’s here, with you, and he’s enjoying himself, and it’s all because of you.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“I know what you meant, darlin’.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________He almost winces at how easily the endearment slips out, because everything in him is warning him that getting so attached so quickly is a really bad idea, but then he remembers that you’re the best thing that has ever happened to him, and he smiles instead._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Bucky’s smiling beside you, and it gives you a thrill. You love his smile. He looks so young and happy and carefree when he’s grinning. You love it when you’re the source of his smile, and you feel warm fuzzies commandeering your insides._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________You think about asking him how his day is going (you haven’t spoken to him before now), but before you can Tony, the leader of the Avenger ‘caravan,’ stops, which means that everyone else stops, too, by default._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“What do you guys think we should do?” Pepper asks, before Tony can say anything. “We’re thinking that going to a beach would be nice.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Oh, yes. A beach sounds amazing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“I’m in!” you volunteer, waving your hand in the air like you’re in school._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“Me, too,” Wanda pipes up, and a chorus of acquiescing voices agree._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“Let’s go, then,” Pepper nods, and leads the group of you to the bus stop, just in time for the bus to arrive. It’s almost uncanny, you muse as you and Bucky shepherd Lila and Cooper up the steps into the bus. Pepper has unfailingly impeccable timing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________The ride there, to whatever beach Tony owns (it’s only a partial ownership this time, actually, which is a change), is sunny and beautiful, and you slide on your sunglasses (gifted to you by Sharon, who insisted that she has way too many already) and lean out of the window, letting your hair blow in the wind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“You look like a puppy I used to have,” Sam laughs at you, and you haul your head inside of the bus again to frown in mock consternation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“I don’t appreciate the insinuation that I’m a dog,” you sniff, and he rolls his eyes.  
“I only meant the blowing hair, Sun. You know as well as I do that you’re beautiful inside and out.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________You blush at the compliment (though it might be hard to tell at this time; you’ve gotten more than a little sunburned over the past three weeks) and smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“Well, thanks, Sam.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“I mean it!” He wags a finger at you. “You’re gorgeous, girl!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________You’re not quite sure where this is coming from until he glances at Bucky out of the corner of his eye. Oh. He’s trying to wind him up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Poor Bucky._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Out of curiosity, you chance a glance as well, and to your surprise Bucky’s brow is furrowed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“You look a little... you okay, Buck?” you ask, because you’re genuinely concerned. He looks lost in thought, and not good thought, at that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________He shakes himself out of his trance and gives you an apologetic smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“I’m fine,” he assures you. “Just thinking.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Sam winks at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“Taking into consideration the size of your brain, that’s dangerous activity,” he teases Bucky, and Bucky scoffs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“You’re crazy, Wilson.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“Well, we all already knew that,” you put in, and both men laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“Yeah,” Bucky nods, “we did.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Sam rolls his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Turns out that the beach is a pretty nice one. There’s white sand and crystal clear water with a turquoise hue and you shiver in anticipation of going swimming later. All of your party pull out towels and camp chairs and the like and set up a nice little camp a little ways down the beach._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Cooper and Lila, of course, dash into the water as soon as they have been sufficiently warned by their parents to stay within shouting distance and to come back for sunscreen replacements and don’t drown if they get scared by crabs. (That last one was Clint, and you and Laura both smacked him and told him that he was thinking of himself.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Cassie stays on the beach and talks with Natasha._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________The kids love Nat, and Natasha loves them. You once told her that she’d be an amazing mother – and that Bruce would be an amazing father – and between her blushes and ‘no I really wouldn’t’s the truth about her inability to have children came up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“And it’s not like I’d really be able to have kids, anyway,” she’d added. “I have way too many enemies and missions and whatnot. They wouldn’t be happy and, honestly, I wouldn’t either.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________She’d kept her emotions under lock and key, as always, but you could tell that it bothers her more than she lets on._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Naturally, you gave her your ten minute hug of comfort, donated some chocolate to the cause, and talked about how adorable Nathaniel was._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Anyway, Cassie, at the moment, is chattering away about Hope and how she’s so pretty and smart and she wants to be just like her. Scott is listening with a delighted smile, and you feel a surge of joy as you watch his face light up. You’ve gotten to know him pretty well, and he’s a really nice guy. He deserves all the happiness in the world._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Unbeknownst to you, Bucky is following your gaze with a sinking heart. He can’t hear Cassie’s conversation, nor is he looking at Scott’s face, so he doesn’t know that they’re talking about Hope. He just knows that Scott is nice. Nice and smart. And he’s probably never killed anybody in his life. And he’s so much fun, just like you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________He thinks that Scott would make you so much happier than he could ever hope to. He muses on the fact that his hands are covered in blood and Scott’s are squeaky clean. He wonders why he ever thought that you’d ever be able to love someone like him, when you deserved so, so much more. He thinks that –_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“Well, you look miserable.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Your voice, as always, sends tingles through his body, and he looks up at you. You’re standing by his towel with your hands on your hips, wind ruffling through your hair, and a confused expression on your face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________You’re beautiful._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________But then, it’s not like that’s anything new, and Bucky forces his mind back to the statement you just made._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“I... I’m fine,” he tries to say, and then his voice catches and before he can even be ashamed of himself you’re on your knees next to him, a hand on his arm and concern in your eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“What’s wrong?” you ask him, and he takes deep, shuddering breaths until he’s completely in control._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“I just... nothing. Sorry. I’m fine.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________You plop yourself into a sitting position and cross your arms, somehow managing to look comforting and tough at the same time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“Don’t give me that, Bucky. I know that you’re not. Tell me what’s wrong.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“I...” he takes a deep breath and wonders how he can say this without revealing his feelings._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“Take your time,” you encourage. “We’ve got all day.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________And they do, he remembers, so he does take his time. He thinks and thinks, and yet none of it is getting him any closer to putting his thoughts into words, so in the end he just opens his mouth and tells you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“I feel bad,” he says. “I’m not... you spend so much time with me, and I’m not worth it. You’re... you should be hanging out with Steve, or Sam, or Scott. They actually deserve your attention. I’m... I don’t.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Your mouth is hanging open, and you look totally stunned._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“Why would you say that?” you ask gently, like he’s a little kid that’s going to throw a fit if he gets offended._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“I’m bad,” he blurts out. “I’m terrible, (Y/N). I’ve killed people – so many people, you have no idea – and I’ve hurt them. I’m messed up, too. I have nightmares, and flashbacks, and you don’t... you’re wasting your time on me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________You’re more than upset now, and at the last statement you clap your hands over his mouth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“Don’t say that,” you warn him. “Don’t you _ever _say that. You are more than worth it.” He ducks his head to avoid your gaze and you tilt his head upwards so that he’s forced to look at you. “Don’t you _dare _think that you’re not.”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________“But – ” Bucky begins, and you shake your head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________“Nope. You don’t get to talk. You’re _amazing _, Bucky. You’re kind, and encouraging, and possibly one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. You are a gentleman, and you are a soldier, and you are one of the best people I know. You are not _bad _.” You spit the word out. Bucky still looks like he doesn’t believe you, and you lean in. “You’ve held me while I cried, you’ve laughed with me when I was happy, and you’ve put hours of time into training me, just so that I’ll be able to defend myself. You, James Buchanan Barnes, are the bravest, the pleasantest, and the most incredible person I have ever had the fortune to meet, and I cherish every minute I have with you. It is _not _a waste of my time. Do you understand?”_______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Bucky looks almost shell-shocked, and he’s _crying _, and you worry that that was too strong. But then he smiles through his tears and reaches for you, and you’re holding onto him and he’s holding onto you and you’re not sure if he’s crying or you’re crying or you both are.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________“Understood,” he whispers into your shoulder when both of you have calmed down, and you laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________“Good. Now, are you feeling better?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________He nods and pulls back before discreetly wiping his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________You decide that this was really emotional and you need a distraction._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________“Good. Now I want in on _that _.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________And you point at Clint and Natasha, who apparently found water guns somewhere and are now engaged in the waterfight of the century._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________“Me, too,” he says, gaping at how badly Natasha’s beating Clint. (They’ve only been at this for five minutes, but Clint is already drenched.) You haul him up by the hand and drag him over to where there’s a pile of ‘weaponry’ – a.k.a a bunch of water guns._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________“We’ve got all the ammo we could possibly need and then some,” Bucky observes as the two of you fill up your water guns from the endless ocean. You’re about to nod but then you’re distracted by Steve stealing Cassie’s sand-castle-building bucket to dump water over Bucky’s head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________“You punk!” Bucky yells in outrage. “You’re gonna pay!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________“You’ve got to catch me first,” Steve laughs, and then takes off across the beach. Bucky sprints after him, shooting water as he goes, and you can’t stop smiling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________Bucky’s going to be okay._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *happy sigh*  
> The idea of three terrifying assassins having a waterfight makes me so ridiculously euphoric. It's just the best thing ever, in my opinion.  
> I hope with all my heart that everyone is doing well. Love to you all!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *nervous laugh*  
> Okay, so, yeah, I'm posting this. Unfortunately, I have been struggling with transitioning the story to where it needs to be, so this is basically more filler. I apologize.  
> That being said, I think there are some fun little parts of the filler. It's kind of like a scavanger hunt.  
> So enjoy!!!

By the end of the Great Water War (of which there are no clear winners, since Steve and Bucky and Natasha and Clint all led separate teams), everyone is exhausted and sunburned and very, very happy. The kids have huge grins plastered on their faces – as do the rest of you, for that matter, though you’re sure that if Nat knew that she’s smiling so widely she’d wipe the grin off her face in an instant. But she doesn’t know, so Bruce gets to keep staring at her adoringly and she gets to keep being really happy.

Which makes you happy.

Which, by default, makes _everyone _happy, because you are ‘Little Miss Sunshine.’__

__Long story short, as all of you troop back onto the _JARVIS _, you’re all smiling and laughing and talking and still having a great time.___ _

____Unfortunately, there _are _some kiddilies that are feeling pretty drained. Laura ends up taking Vision (who is weirdly great with kids) to put them all to bed. Apparently Lila and Cassie are having a sleepover. You’re confused, because they’ve been sleeping in the same room every night, but Laura explains to you that tonight, Scott isn’t going to be coming into the room to say goodnight, which elevates Cassie to ‘grown up’ status, and Lila gets to be promoted, too.___ _ _ _

______You find all of this logic utterly adorable. It doesn’t completely make sense, but the girls have huge smiles on their faces, and it makes _you _smile, too, because is there anything more adorable than two little girls beaming brightly enough to light up the room?___ _ _ _ _ _

________The answer is no. There is not._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Well, that’s if one were to ask _you _. If one were to ask _Bucky _, he’d tell them that there is absolutely something more adorable than two little girls with huge smiles on their faces; there’s you smiling at two little girls with huge smiles on their faces._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The complete and utter joy that you get from watching the children gives him a happy glow somewhere deep down, and he feels himself smiling, too._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________At least, he’s smiling until he feels Sam’s shoulder bump against his own._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You’re smitten, dude!” he chortles in Bucky’s ear, and Bucky tries to pull a stern ‘I am the Winter Soldier’ face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“No, I’m not,” he protests. Sam waves away his objection._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Sure,” he scoffs. “So when are you going to make a move, loverboy?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Bucky scowls._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Never! She doesn’t like me.” Then he remembers that he’s supposedly not interested in you. “And I don’t like her, either.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sam rolls his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You do realize that you sound like a fifth grader, right?” he asks. “She’s totally into you, and you’re so infatuated that it’s slightly disturbing. Sometime you’re going to have to wake up to that fact.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Bucky’s so surprised by the idea of you reciprocating his feelings that he lets Sam squawk away as he chews on that thought, trying to decide what he thinks of it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Well, to start with, it fills him with such elation that his smile is back, and he doesn’t even notice. If you were even half as interested in him as he is in you, he’d be overjoyed. Just the thought of being able to hold you whenever he wanted makes his breath catch in his throat, and it’s almost enough to make him mosey over and ask you out on the spot._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________But therein lies the rub, because Bucky doubts very much that you’re actually interested in him at all. Why would you be? He’s old and worn out and broken and terrible and an all-around bad deal. He doesn’t deserve you, and you _definitely _don’t deserve to deal with him and all the crap he’s dealing with.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________But you _did _seem to think that he was worth it, he remembers, thinking of the beach. Maybe you _do _, maybe, possibly, have some sort of affection of him._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“But we’re nothing more than friends,” he decides, and Sam looks disgusted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Whatever, man. But someday you’re going to realize that she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you, and you’re going to regret letting her slip away – mark my words.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Whatever,” Bucky mocks, partly because it’s a ridiculous modern term and partly because Sam has told him many, many times to mark his words, and they’ve never been worth marking. Sam is about to retort with something scathing, he assumes, but before Wilson can make his statement Steve pokes his head in between them and shoots both of them a reproving look._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Don’t argue, children,” he reprimands them, and the motherliness of the gesture sends both Bucky and Sam into fits of giggles. Steve smirks at his success._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Meanwhile, you’ve kissed Cassie, Lila, and Nathaniel goodnight, done your secret handshake with Cooper, wished Laura and Vision the best of luck in their child-wrangling, and settled into a conversation with Wanda. You haven’t had the chance to really talk with her for a few days, and it’s nice to ‘catch up’ – though it’s also ridiculous, because you’ve seen each other every day and there’s nothing to catch up on._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“So how’s it going with Vision?” you ask her, with a grin and a nudge. She blushes bright red, but somehow it looks adorable on her. There’s absolutely no justice in the world._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Very well,” she tells you, and you nod at her, prompting her to go on. “Well, he’s been talking a lot about ‘gentlemanly gestures,’ and he’s been testing most of them out on me.” You raise your eyebrow, because the way she put it sounds slightly scandalous. When she sees your face, she blushes even harder and shakes her head. “Nothing like that!” she scolds. “Honestly, (Y/N)!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________You shrug innocently._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“How was I to know what you meant?” you ask her. She concedes that you have a point and then keeps talking like you never interrupted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“He’s given me his jacket – well, _a _jacket, anyway – when I’m cold. Or when he thinks I’m cold, rather. Either way, it’s sweet!” She scowls.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I never said it wasn’t, Wands,” you laugh. “It’s very sweet.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Her face softens, and she smiles sheepishly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I guess I just feel silly,” she admits. “I mean, he’s not even human! I don’t know why I like him so much. Maybe I should just...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Don’t talk like that!” you scold her gently. “Don’t be embarrassed by your feelings. They’re completely valid. And even though he’s not human doesn’t mean _he _doesn’t have feelings! I’ve seen him look at you.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Her head snaps up at that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Really?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You nod, grinning._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“You haven’t noticed?” you ask her. “I thought you could read minds.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I can’t read his,” she tells you. “Unfortunately. If I could then this would all be much easier.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Wouldn’t it, though,” you agree. “I wish I could read...” Oops. You’d meant to say nothing about it. You feel your face heating up. Wanda gives you a knowing grin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Bucky’s?” You know that your blush is showing through your sunburn, so you don’t bother nodding. Wanda leans in close to you, like she’s telling you a secret. You raise your eyebrows. “You can’t,” she acknowledges, “but I can.” You shake your head furiously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“No, no, no. You are not going inside his head. He’s already had – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________She rolls her eyes and shakes her head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Duh, (Y/N). I’m not going inside his head. But sometimes, when there are really strong emotions, I can read them anyway, involuntarily. They’re kind of throwing their feelings at me, and I’m kind of catching them. And when Bucky’s around you... well.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Ooh. This sounds promising._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“All right,” you concede, leaning back in your chair and kicking your sandals off. “Spill.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Wanda all but rubs her hands together, eyes sparkling with excitement. Her emotions are apparently contagious, because you’re feeling little butterflies fluttering around in your stomach. Bucky has specific feelings? _Strong _feelings? Around you?___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“It happens all the time,” Wanda begins, mirroring your comfortable pose. “Barnes feels things very strongly, much as he would like everyone to believe otherwise. When he’s happy, he’s overjoyed. When he’s sad, he’s heartbroken. When he’s angry, he’s furious. You get the idea.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Yes, you do. You’ve often thought that this was the case, because Bucky’s eyes are way too expressive to belong to someone who isn’t extremely sensitive._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Well, every time he’s around you, there are _waves _of positive feelings. He feels safe and happy and content with you. And, of course, very in love.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________You choke on the breath you were taking._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“What?” you splutter. “No! I mean, it’s sweet that he’s happy when he’s around me, and I’m so glad that he feels safe, but he doesn’t think of me that way.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Yes, he does!” she scowls. Her accent is getting thicker as she gets more passionate about her topic. “One of you is going to have to make a move sometime, (Y/N). We’re not going to be on this boat forever.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Ship!” Tony corrects. He apparently heard Wanda’s sentence in passing. “And I assume you’re talking about (Y/N) and Barnes making moves on each other, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Your face could not possibly be any redder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Don’t say it so loudly!” you hiss at both of them. “He’ll hear you!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Tony laughs at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“(Y/N). It’s fine. You’re acting like a high schooler with a crush.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________You slouch in your chair and pout at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“I don’t care if I am,” you declare. “It’s better than being...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“What’s Stark doing?” a familiar Brooklyn voice drawls in your ear. You forget how to breathe and how to speak at the same time. “Is he bothering you lovely ladies?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“I’m only bothering these lovely ladies until my own lovely lady gets back from changing into some dry clothes,” Tony says defensively._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Bucky makes an ‘ah’ noise of understanding and plops down into the chair next to yours._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“What are you all talking about?” he asks, resting his head on his hand, and somehow Wanda weaves a story of crabs and jellyfish out of thin air. Bucky falls for it, surprisingly, and he and Tony start bickering about who was less scared of the long tentacles. You can’t help giggling at how ridiculous it is, and you also can’t imagine anything more perfect. You wonder what all their fans would think if they knew that the Avengers argue more than any siblings you’ve ever met._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________As Bucky gets surprisingly passionate about a point he’s making, you slide your sketchbook out of your pocket and start drawing. It only takes you a few minutes to have a basic outline down – enough for you to have captured the spark in Bucky’s eyes and the dry amusement in Tony’s. You’re just getting started on the shading when you come to the abrupt realization that the nearby conversation has died away and everyone is looking at you. You glance up at them, wondering _why _they’re all staring at you, and then follow their gaze to the book you’re hiding under the table.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Oops._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“What’s that?” Bucky asks you suspiciously. You shrug, trying to look nonchalant._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Just a... thing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Unfortunately, you’re not a trained spy, so your ‘nonchalant’ comes across as ‘so unbelievable that it’s pathetic.’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“And you expect us to believe that?” Natasha laughs. She comes towards you and holds out her hand. “Give it to me, (Y/N).” She wiggles her fingers expectantly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You bring the book out from its hiding place and set it on the table, but you don’t take your hands off of it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“It’s just... I draw sometimes, okay? There’s nothing good in there.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You meet Steve’s eyes and silently plead for him to understand. You know that he’s an artist, too – you’ve seen him drawing when he’s feeling a little down. If anyone is going to understand how difficult it is to have your art looked at, it’s Steve._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________But, being the little punk he is, he just winks at you and reaches for the book._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“We’ll be the judge of that, Sun.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________He catches you so off guard, because you were _expecting _him to be nice and argue your case for you, that he easily slides the book out of your grasp and opens it to a random page.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________You hear a gasp of admiration and look up sharply, surprised._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“These are amazing, (Y/N)!” Steve tells you, flipping through the pages. You blush._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Thanks, Steve.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Let me see!” Natasha demands, and grabs the book from Steve. While she’s flipping through, eyes wide, making little noises of amazement, and Wanda is looking at the pictures through Nat’s mind (the two of them have worked out some weird sort of code that makes it okay for Wanda to live vicariously through Natasha – honestly, you have no idea), you end up meeting Bucky’s eyes. He’s smiling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“You’re a woman of many talents,” he observes, and you laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“I wouldn’t say that...” you begin, but he interrupts you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Oh, don’t even start. Does ‘fastest learner known to man’ ring a bell?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________You giggle at that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“That’s stretching the truth just a little, Barnes.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________He grins at you unrepentantly, but when he sees that you’re looking insecure and slightly unhappy, it’s wiped off of his face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Hey,” he says softly, and no one except you hears him over the excited chatter about your drawings. “You okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________You take a deep breath and smile at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“I’m just exhausted,” you tell him. “It’s late, and I’ve been out all day, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see any of you again after we leave the ship, and it’s all combining to make me emotionally unstable._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Bucky hasn’t even thought about leaving the ship until now. It’s like he just got punched in the gut. He doesn’t want to think about leaving._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________But he knows that it has to happen. He knows that you’re going to leave and the Avengers are going to go back to what they were before. It’s amazing how much you’ve changed them, really, he muses. Oh, sure, they laughed and joked and had fun before, but now that you’re here they really _enjoy _it. They appreciate each other a lot more, now that there’s someone here pointing out everyone’s good qualities.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________And all that’s going to disappear once they land._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________Unless... Maybe, just maybe, it doesn’t have to be that way. Maybe, just maybe, if he – or Steve or Sam or Tony – talks to you, _maybe _you’ll come hang out at the Compound. Maybe. Sometimes.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Here,” Steve’s voice interrupts his thoughts, and he looks up to see his friend handing the notebook to (Y/N). She takes it with a smile, but before Steve lets go he looks her in the eye and says, “You’re amazing. These drawings are incredible. Don’t underestimate yourself, okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________Bucky watches (Y/N) stammer out a thank you, and he feels his heart swelling in his chest. She is the most adorably awkward person he’s ever met – and he watched Scott Lang say ‘thinks for thanking of me.’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________But before he can adore her for too long, she meets his eyes with a questioning gaze._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Do you want to look?” she asks, proffering the book. His eyes widen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Are you sure?” he asks. He doesn’t want to invade your privacy. “I don’t have to, you know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“I know,” she smiles, “and I also know that it’s totally fine.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“If you’re sure,” Bucky says cautiously, and she rolls her eyes at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Just take it!” she laughs, handing him the little notebook. He smiles and takes it before opening to the first page._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________It takes his breath away. There he is, leaning against the railing of the ship with his scruffy hair blowing in his face and a faraway look in his eyes. This is from the first day he met her, when they watched the sunrise. It’s amazing, and he looks up to tell her so, but she’s moved from her spot and he doesn’t feel like getting up to go find her so he keeps turning the pages, slowly, studying each picture._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________They’re all here. Laura and Clint are staring lovingly into each other’s eyes in one. Pepper and Tony are having a ‘friendly debate’ about the current state of their cabin. Jane and Thor are holding hands and walking along the beach. Lila and Cassie are building sand castles, and Scott is watching them with a smile on his face. Nathaniel is toddling after Cooper as Sam shows him how to play a racing video game. Steve and Sharon are demonstrating a martial arts move. Vision and Wanda are playing with her powers, sending random objects flying._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________He can see the meticulous detail on each picture. It’s absolutely amazing to him. He looks into everybody’s eyes and feels like he’s really looking at the real them. There’s so much expression; he can see the love in Laura’s eyes, the exasperation in Pepper’s, the soft admiration in Jane’s, the excitement in the girls’, the delight in Cooper’s, the exhilaration in Sharon’s, and the enjoyment in Wanda’s._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________But that’s not even the best part. (It’s been a very good day for Bucky today.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________The best part is that he’s here more than everyone else put together, doing pretty much everything he’s done on this trip – swimming, laughing, jumping, training, walking, eating, talking. And he can see himself, every time, through (Y/N)’s eyes instead of his own._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________And he actually likes what he sees._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________He looks happy. He looks excited. He looks interested. He looks _alive _.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________And it’s all because of her, he knows. Before he met her he was struggling. Struggling to find a place on the team, struggling to rebuild his friendship with Steve, struggling to work out where he belonged and what he should be doing. And then she came waltzing into his life, and suddenly he can talk to everybody and he can journal about his feelings and he’s freer and lighter and _happier _than he’s been in seventy years.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________It’s not like she fixed everything. He’s still messed up. He still jumps at loud noises and has nightmares and wakes up crying sometimes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________But now he can _handle _it, because now he has her.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________He stares at (Y/N)’s Bucky for hours, with a smile on his face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, Bucky... *melts*  
> Hope you enjoyed! Shout out to all my beautiful readers who fill me with inspiration and encouragement. You guys are literally the best, and I love you SO MUCH!!!  
> <3 <3 <3


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my darlings!  
> I just want to say that I love you all and you are so beautiful and just don't stop being yourself!  
> ALSO wanted to say that while I _should _be able to get the next chapter up within the week, it is possible that it'll be more in the week and a half range. Just so you know. But hey, if I'm early, it'll be a pleasant surprise!__  
>  Warning: Some more of Reader's past is revealed, and it's pretty sad. Just so you know.  
> That being said, I really hope that you enjoy!!!

“All right, people! Listen up!” Tony bellows at the crowd in front of him.

Well, crowd is really an exaggeration. It’s just Avengers and Co. Melinda’s joined all of you today, which makes both you and Sam very happy. They’re currently sitting together, and Sam’s arm is around her shoulders. When you catch her eye, you send her a wink and a big cheesy grin, and she sticks her tongue out at you. She’s blushing when she does it, though, so it doesn’t really come across as sternly as you’re pretty sure she’d like it to.

Anyway, Tony’s standing in the big open space in front of all of the tables, and he looks like whatever he’s trying to say is important, so you turn your attention away from your conversation with Sharon, after giving her an apologetic smile. (Which was unnecessary, since she did exactly the same thing.) It takes a couple minutes, but a hush descends over the room, and Tony smiles in satisfaction.

“Thank you. Okay, so I have an announcement to make.”

“That much was obvious,” Sam observes. Melinda gently elbows him in the ribs, and he shuts his mouth. The things people do for love, you muse.

“Actually, I have _two _,” Tony continues, glaring at Sam. Sam just grins. “Number One: the _JARVIS _is going to be landing in New York, as you all know.” There are various noises of agreement. “I have decided that, since Stark Tower is also in New York, I will be hosting a last night bash to celebrate the good times that have been had here. Everyone who has been aboard the _JARVIS _– passenger or crew member – is invited.”______

______You bounce up and down in your seat a little, unmindful of the fond glances being cast your way, because that’s exciting. You’ve never been to a Stark party, but you’ve heard good things about them – when Tony’s not drunk and convinced that he’s dying, anyway. Pepper has told you about _that _party, too.___ _ _ _ _ _

________It’s not just you that’s excited; there are many murmurings going on amongst the Avengers and Co., and it takes Tony a minute to settle everyone down._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Okay. _Okay _,” he grumbles. “I get that it’s exciting, but calm down. Number Two is even better.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He sends Pepper a _look _, and she sends him a _look _back, and suddenly you know exactly what he’s going to say, and you feel yourself squealing quietly._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Yeah, um... so a little while ago, Pepper agreed to marry me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________There’s a split second of stunned silence, and then everyone is talking at once._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Congratulations!” you shout._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“What?” Laura gasps, delighted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Are you serious, man?” Clint raises an eyebrow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Wanda’s just looking smug. You’re guessing that she knew this already._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Sharon (and Jane, and Melinda, and Scott, and Bruce) are just grinning like idiots, looking ridiculously pleased._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Natasha is whispering to Pepper (who is looking adorably flustered at all the attention), and Steve is giving Tony a pat on the back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Bucky is smiling at Pepper, looking unbelievably tickled at this turn of events, and Thor is booming congratulations and well wishes from above everyone’s heads, because he jumped to a standing position as soon as the words were out of Tony’s mouth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________All in all, everyone seems pretty happy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________After a solid ten minutes of smiling and laughing and hugging and squealing, everyone’s calmed down enough to rationally realize that the party is going to be a combination engagement announcement and _JARVIS _landing celebration – and everyone is both surprised and pleased at how uncharacteristically efficient Tony is being. Although, with Pepper being his fiancée, you suppose that it’s a survival skill.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________After the initial shock has worn off, and everyone is sitting down again, chattering away (and maybe, possibly, getting just a little tipsy with the celebratory champagne) you and Natasha end up discussing your training and how it’s going._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I feel like I’m doing pretty well,” you shrug. “I mean, I’m obviously not at your level, but I’m also not tripping over my own feet every time I try to do a flip.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________That had been a terrible stage of your self-defense career._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“You _are _doing well,” Natasha nods. “I’m surprised at how naturally you’re picking it up.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________You blush at the praise, and she smiles. You can tell that she’s about to make a remark about your red face, so you quickly change the subject._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“It’s so exciting about Pepper and Tony, isn’t it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________The knowing look in Natasha’s eyes tells you she knows what you’re trying to do, but she’s also going to let you get away with it, so you really don’t care._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“It is,” she agrees. “It took him long enough to ask her.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________You grin at that. Natasha has told you stories of her early days working at Stark Industries and how thick the romantic tension was._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Took who long enough to ask whom?” Tony asks, wandering over. Natasha rolls her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I’m not in the mood for you, Stark,” she tells him bluntly. “I’ll go congratulate your lovely fiancée.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Tony shrugs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I would be offended,” he says, “but she deserves the attention.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Natasha nods._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“She does.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________And with that, she stalks away towards the table where Laura, Sharon, and Jane are all swarming Pepper, talking about dresses and flowers and how amazing the wedding will be on a billionaire’s budget. You’re grinning at how happy they all look when Tony sits down beside you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Why aren’t you over there?” he asks, nodding towards the ‘girl table’. You shrug, surprised that he’d ask._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I don’t know. Scared that I won’t fit in, I guess.” You huff a little laugh at your own foolishness and then bury your nose in your glass. Tony sets his own glass down and studies you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“You don’t need to be,” he says at length. “Scared, I mean.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________You raise an eyebrow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Oh?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________He traces the rim of the glass with his finger._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“No.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________You smile, but not because you’re happy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Old habits are hard to break, I guess.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________You watch Pepper and Jane hugging each other, remembering a time when you were the one hugging the fiancée. You also remember the pain and heartbreak that followed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Tony has an odd look on his face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“You know that we all like you, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________The question surprises you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I guess. I mean, it’s not like you’ve pushed me away.” And at that you give him a genuine smile, because you feel so thankful for his friendship. “Thanks for letting me hang around, Tony.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Now he’s looking at you even more strangely._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“It’s not a bother, (Y/N). I thought you knew that. We all really like having you around.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I’m glad,” you say, tapping your fingers on the table. “I don’t... I just...” Tony looks actually concerned now, and you sigh. “I know that I’m acting weird. Sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Don’t apologize,” he says firmly. “Just tell me what’s wrong.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Nothing’s _wrong _, per se,” you begin, “I’m just feeling a little... strange. Last time I was at an engagement party, it ended in a fire. And... um... my best friend didn’t make it out.” You glance up at Tony’s stricken face. “I guess I’m just a bit paranoid right now.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Sunny.” Tony looks like he’s struggling for words. “I didn’t know. _We _didn’t know. I’d have tried to – ”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Oh, no,” you shake your head. “Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. I’m just... I feel like I lose everybody I care for, you know? All my family is gone, all my friends are gone... I can’t lose you guys, too. I just can’t. You’re... you’re all...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________A hand on yours breaks you out of your reverie._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“(Y/N),” Tony says slowly, “You’ve had such a rough time. You’ve lost everyone and everything you’ve cared about. But that’s ending now. We’re not going anywhere, I promise. We’re Earth’s mightiest heroes!” He winks at you, taking his hand off of yours to strike a pose, and you feel the edges of your mouth curling up into a smile. “Seriously, though,” he continues, looking so serious that you’re surprised, “we’ll be here for you. Always. Okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You glance down._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I don’t know, Tony,” you say. “It sounds too good to be true. I’m not always going to be here, remember? I’m leaving once we land, and...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“About that,” Tony says, perking up. “I’ve been meaning to ask you... how would you like a job at Stark Industries?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Your mouth falls open, and you try to remember how to form words._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“It has come to my attention that we desperately need a graphics designer,” Tony continues, warming to his subject. “Our products need better marketing. And it has also come to my attention that you have a skill set that could be very useful in that area. Obviously, we’d help you find an apartment nearby, to make the commute to work easier.” He glances up at you, looking almost nervous. “So, what do you say, Miss (Y/L/N)?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You stare at him, unable to move. A job? A job at Stark Industries? How... what..._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Yes,” you say, still stunned, as the enormity of his offer sinking in to you. “Yes, please!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Tony looks almost as pleased as he did when he announced his and Pepper’s engagement._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Very good,” he grins, sticking out his hand to shake on it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Instead of shaking his hand, you launch yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck in the biggest hug you can possibly give. He hesitates for a moment, and then he squeezes you in a tight hug._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Thank you,” you whisper. “Thank you so much.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“It’s my pleasure, kiddo,” he whispers back, and you have to blink back tears at the fatherly love and pride that you hear in his voice. The fact that he cares so much about you is mind-blowing, and you quickly pull away to wipe your eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Tony looks as emotional as you, and he grabs his champagne glass to steady himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“You won’t have to play poker to get a ticket on the next cruise, will you?” he muses as he takes another sip – only to almost choke on it as he starts laughing at the look on your face. “You didn’t really think I didn’t know about that, did you?” he giggles, and you start to laugh yourself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I was so scared!” you tell him. “I thought you were going to kick me off of the boat.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Ship!” Tony corrects you, and then he grins. “Watching you panic about it was pretty entertaining, I will admit.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“That’s mean!” you pout. “I’m going to tell Pepper on you!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He laughs and slings a companionable arm across your shoulders._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“If you must, you must,” he says. “Lead the way.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________As you hug Pepper, and smack Tony, and laugh with your surrogate family about the little things, you wonder if life could possibly get any better than this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________But there’s also a niggling worry, because you’re so unbelievably happy and Fate seems to dislike unbelievable happiness, that it’s about to get a lot worse._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, guys. It means so much that there's even one person out there that reads this crazy little story. I love you guys so much!  
> Have a wonderful day!!!  
> XOXO


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! I'm so, so, so excited for this chapter.  
> No, it's not the best writing I've ever done, nor am I happy with the way I handled it.  
> But... well... you'll see what I mean.  
> Happy Reading!

You yawn a little as you sip your coffee and start shading Tony’s face.

After finding out that Pepperoni (you and Melinda and Sam stumbled across some fan sites and have been having a marvelous time waving fanfiction and fan art in Tony and Pepper’s faces) is getting married, everybody’s been talking about wedding presents. You panicked for a little while, because you have no money, and then you realized that you have a _talent _, which is sometimes better than money – in this instance, anyway. You immediately set about drawing the two of them, as perfectly as humanly possible. So far you’re feeling pretty good about it. You’ve drawn everything freehand and from memory, which isn’t very professional but is much more you, and it’s working well for you.__

__You’re almost done with the faces when a tap on your shoulder breaks your concentration. You look up to see Bucky studying your drawing._ _

__“How does it look?” you ask playfully, setting down your pencil and picking up your coffee mug. He chuckles under his breath and shakes his head._ _

__“It’s incredible, (Y/N),” he says. “You’re amazing.”_ _

__You feel yourself blushing._ _

__“It’s not _that _impressive,” you begin, but he interrupts you.___ _

____“Yes, it is.” He takes the chair next to you. “You’ve got to stop putting yourself down like that.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m not – ” you protest, but he holds his hand up._ _ _ _

____“No arguing. Either agree with me or say nothing.”_ _ _ _

____You make a point of saying nothing._ _ _ _

____“Very good!” he praises you, and you laugh at him. He grins back, but you’re surprised to note that there’s a hint of nervousness in his eyes. You wonder why._ _ _ _

____“So how was the book?” he asks after a minute, changing the subject._ _ _ _

____After learning that you loved to read but didn’t have access to any books, he’d offered you the novel he’d brought along on the spot. You’d argued that he should read it, but he’d insisted that he’d already read it, and you’d found yourself sitting on a deck chair halfway through an amazing book before you even knew what was happening._ _ _ _

____“It’s amazing!” you gush with your trademark enthusiasm. “I loved it!”_ _ _ _

____It’s funny – you were expecting him to give you that lopsided smile of his and start discussing different points of the book with you, but he’s just sitting there, and if you didn’t know better, you’d say he looks terrified. Which worries you._ _ _ _

____“Bucky?” you ask timidly. “Are you okay? You seem a little out of it.”_ _ _ _

____He snaps himself out of whatever alternate reality he was in and offers you an apologetic smile._ _ _ _

____“Sorry. I just... I was wondering...” He swallows hard, and your mind goes into overdrive. Is he doing what you think he’s doing? Is he going to say what you think he was going to say? “There’s a library, and I was wondering if you wanted to come. With me. To the library. On the ship.” And he starts playing with his fingers._ _ _ _

____Your heart just about stops beating. He just... did he just ask you out? What?_ _ _ _

____He’s looking at you, but your mind is so blank that you can’t even think of anything to say. For a minute you’re afraid that he’ll take your silence for a negative one, but then he breaks into a grin._ _ _ _

____“You don’t even want to talk to me? That’s not very flattering, Sun.”_ _ _ _

____“NO! That’s not what I meant! I just... I was surprised... I didn’t know...” you try to explain, flustered. He just smiles at you._ _ _ _

____“You’re cute when you’re flustered,” he muses. You feel yourself blushing. He’s said things like that before – he’s always complimenting you, to be honest, and you always return the favor – but it feels different now that he’s... has he asked you out? Has he really?_ _ _ _

____“Um, so, would it just be the two of us, or would someone else be coming?” you ask._ _ _ _

____He reaches up to awkwardly scratch at the back of his neck._ _ _ _

____“What would you like it to be?” he asks, and his face is redder than you’ve ever seen it._ _ _ _

____This is it, you suddenly realize. This is where you either tell Bucky that you like him as more than a friend or you chicken out and miss your chance._ _ _ _

____For a split second you’re terrified that you’re going to mess this up, and then you hear yourself saying, “Just us,” and Bucky’s face is lighting up._ _ _ _

____“Yeah?” he asks, eyes brightening._ _ _ _

____“Yeah,” you falter._ _ _ _

____He looks pretty darn happy, which makes _you _pretty darn happy, and you feel a grin that nearly matches his sliding onto your face. You close your notebook and stand up. Bucky looks uncertain.___ _ _ _

______“Um... do you want to leave your drawing book here, or...?” he trails off, leaving a question in his voice._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’ll take it back to my room,” you decide. “Don’t want Pep or Tony finding it.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’ll come with you,” Bucky offers immediately, before looking hesitant again. “I mean, if that’s okay with you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Of course it is!” you assure him. “That’s very gentlemanly of you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He scoffs._ _ _ _ _ _

______“And I’m nothing if not a gentleman. Right?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yep,” you nod, and he laughs again._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“So what kind of library _is _this?” you ask, following Bucky through a corridor of walls. “Did Tony hide it?”___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yes,” Bucky says, and he’s dead serious._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“He did?” you ask him, feeling confused. “He actually, intentionally, _hid _the library?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Bucky shrugs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“It’s not like most of the stuff he does makes sense.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“No,” you reflect. “It’s not like offering me a job was really in his best interests.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Bucky stops so suddenly that you run into his back. You rub your nose, which surprisingly is not broken from being crunched into solid muscle, as he turns around._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“A job?” he repeats._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yeah,” you say._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“He offered you a job?” he clarifies._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yes,” you say again. Bucky looks stunned. “He didn’t tell you?” you ask in surprise. You thought that Tony had talked to everyone before offering you a job. Wouldn’t that be a good idea?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“No,” Bucky says, apparently struggling to wrap his mind around this. “He actually offered you a job?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“ _Yes, _Bucky,” you huff for what feels like the hundredth time.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You accepted, right?” he asks, suddenly looking vulnerable and terrified._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Of course I did!” you exclaim. “Are you insulting my intelligence by suggesting that I’d turn down a job offer from a billionaire?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Bucky doesn’t answer you, but he does pull you into such a warm and tight and beautiful hug that you forget to be offended. The two of you just stand there for a minute, holding onto each other, and you close your eyes and feel happy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’m glad,” Bucky says softly, and his chest rumbles against your ear. You don’t say anything; you just nestle further into his embrace, because hugs are something that you just can’t get enough of, now that you’ve gotten started on them. (You’re guessing that that’s the result of fifteen plus years of no physical contact with anyone.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________But all good things must come to an end – and, besides, you’re anxious to see this allegedly amazing library – so you eventually pull away and give Bucky a warm smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Okay,” he says, clearing his throat. “Let’s do this thing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The library is tucked away between the kitchen and the laundry room, and it has a friggin _secret entrance _, which you find very exciting.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I feel like we’re spies!” you stage whisper, dancing around in anticipation. Bucky just laughs at your enthusiasm and pushes the panel open. You follow him in, but end up stopping dead in your tracks and gazing up around you in wonder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Oh, my goodness,” you murmur, letting out a laugh of disbelief._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________The library is _huge _. There are books every way you turn, from floor to ceiling. Some couches and armchairs are nestled together in the middle and fastened to the floor, creating a reading area. You walk along the shelves, tracing a finger along all the books. When it’s kind of sunk in how amazing this place is, you turn around and look at a grinning Bucky.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“This place is _amazing _!” you screech. “It’s huge! It’s ginormous! It’s inredible! It’s... it’s...”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Calm down there, you little bookworm,” Bucky teases, but you can tell that he’s as pleased with your reaction as you are with the books._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I feel like Belle,” you laugh, and he grins even wider. He and Melinda have been revisiting all the Disney classics with you, and _Beauty and the Beast _was the one you watched last night. (You may or may not have stayed up late drawing yourself in Belle’s ball gown and Bucky in Adam’s evening wear.)___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“It’s a good feeling, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________You smile back at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“The best.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________The two of you spend the next hour and a half roaming around, grabbing books, and settling into the chairs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He asks you what you picked up off of the shelves, and you show him the cover – Tolkien’s _The Hobbit _. He immediately freaks out.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“That’s an _amazing _book! It’s _so _good! You’ll love it – and then I’ll introduce you to _Lord of the Rings _.”_______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Something about Bucky getting so excited about a book makes you that much more smitten._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Both of you slip into a companionable silence as you open your books, and your last thought before being sucked into the story of Bilbo Baggins is that reading is, surprisingly, even more fun with someone else reading beside you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Sometimes he’ll read you a passage from his book that he really likes, and sometimes you’ll read him one from yours. Once you start talking you usually don’t stop until both of you have exhausted your opinions on the subject._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________By the time Bucky’s finished his book (he’s a crazy fast reader, which you thought was due to his enhanced concentration and yadayada until Steve told you he’s always been like that) your head is in his lap and his hand is tangling your hair – and neither of you mind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Was it good?” you ask him, and he lets out a sigh of contentment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Very.” He cranes his neck to see where you are in your story, and you lift it up so that he can see more easily._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I’m in Rivendell right now,” you say, and he nods._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Do you like it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I love it!” you tell him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Lots of food, lots of music, lots of fun - it’s basically paradise, right?” he asks you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“If that makes paradise,” you tell him, “then I’ve been in paradise since I met you guys.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Really?” he asks softly. He looks almost embarrassed, and you mark your spot in the book so that you can look at him – though it is a little awkward from this angle, since he’s basically upside down and sideways._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Really,” you say. “All of you are... I haven’t had family in a really long time, but all of you are well worth the wait. And now I’m going to get to stay, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life. If that’s not paradise, I don’t know what is.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Bucky says nothing; he just keeps playing with your hair. But when you look closely, you see a little insecurity – about himself, about whether he deserves to be part of the ‘family’ – and a whole lot of love – for you, for Steve, for all of the family – dancing behind his blue eyes. You can tell that the love is enough to cancel out the insecurity, so you let him sort out his feelings in semi-privacy as you re-open your book._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________The two of you stay like that for a while, you reading your book and him braiding and unbraiding your hair, and by the time your stomach starts rumbling, you’re a good three-quarters through the book and he is much calmer and happier than he was in the beginning._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“It’s amazing,” he muses as you tuck your book under your arm, “what a good influence you are on me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You laugh at that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Really? How so?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________He shrugs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I don’t know. But you always make me feel more like a human and less like a robot. It’s nice.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You press a hand to his forehead, half joking and half serious._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Are you feeling okay, Buck? This openness is not like you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________He laughs and pushes your hand away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Never been better. I just figure that since I’ve started pouring out my feelings to you, I might as well continue.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You feel warm fuzzies start to coat your stomach._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Well, in that case, Mr. Barnes,” you say, threading your fingers through his, “talk away.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *tries very hard not to squeal*  
> AHHHHH YOU GUYS ARE SO FRIGGIN ADORABLE!!!  
> Ahem.  
> What'd ya think??? Don't feel pressured to leave a comment, but I would LOVE to know what you thought of this chapter.  
> ALSO, is there anything you'd like to be included in the party? I have the party chapter pretty much planned out, but I'd love to know if there's any shenanigans you'd like Clint or Sam or anybody to pull - lovely little details that would make the chapter that much more fun.   
> Thank you all SO much for reading! I love you all!!!!!!!!  
> -Star :)


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, peoples. I have a surprise! It may or may not be my sweet sixteen today *happy happy joy joy* and because of that, I’m going to be triple posting today! I’m pretty excited about it. :)  
> ALSO, just so you know; half the time when I put italics in they don’t show up, so I’m going to be changing from italics to caps. Sorry if that causes any trouble or confusion. Also sorry because I’m not a huge fan of using caps as emphasis and there’s probably someone out there with the same pet peeve as me. I just love my emphasis more than my professionalism. :)  
> Anyway, moving on. Thank you so much for all the positive feedback!!! There’s no way I’d be as into this story as I am without you guys. You’re all my favorites! Thank you so much for reading and commenting and being your fantabulous selves!  
> This chapter is probably going to be super disappointing because there’s basically no Bucky. Sorry about that. :(  
> Enjoy!!!

It’s been three days since your... date? Outing? Outing’s a better word. It’s been three days since your _outing _with Bucky, and in that time you have learned that Sam was the one who goaded Bucky into asking you to hang out with him, that Melinda didn’t try to stop him, and that you’re too high up on Cloud 9 to be angry with them.__

__It is also the second to last full day on the _JARVIS _and you’re feeling very extremely down in the dumps.___ _

____“Come on, Sun,” Melinda rolls her eyes. “It’s not like we’re not going to get to hang out anymore.”_ _ _ _

____Turns out that Pepper saw some potential in Mel and decided to give her a job as her PA. Sam was pretty happy when he heard the news._ _ _ _

____As in, happy enough to swing her around and kiss her senseless in front of everybody._ _ _ _

____She’s pretty happy about that._ _ _ _

____“I know,” you say, “but I’m still sad. Aren’t you? Soon it’s not going to be blue seas and skies anymore.”_ _ _ _

____She laughs at you._ _ _ _

____“Right, and soon we’re probably going to be rooming together and I won’t have to sneak into your room because I’ll be right there. Isn’t that enough to make you happy?”_ _ _ _

____“Technically, you don’t have to sneak into my room NOW,” you point out. “No one cares, Mel.”_ _ _ _

____“Wait,” Laura interrupts. “You sneak into her room?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes,” Melinda admits shamelessly._ _ _ _

____“Why?” Laura asks her, completely puzzled. “There’s literally no reason to, girl.”_ _ _ _

____“I know,” Melinda says, “but it brings me a rush of nostalgia, back to the days when it was just me and (Y/N) against the world.”_ _ _ _

____Both you and Laura laugh at her, and she’s about to say something else before she glances at Laura’s phone, which just lit up with a text from Clint (there’s WiFi on the ship, courtesy of Tony) and catches sight of the time._ _ _ _

____“Oops,” she gasps, standing up. “I’ve got to get moving. I’ve got stuff to do. Pepper’s got a LOT of preparatory work for me. See ya!”_ _ _ _

____And before either of you can say anything, she’s off. Laura laughs._ _ _ _

____“That girl is crazy,” she says. “I’m glad that she’ll be hanging around, though.”_ _ _ _

____“Me, too,” you grin._ _ _ _

____“Pretty sure that Sam’s the happiest, though,” Laura observes, a mischievous tone in her voice as she watches Sam following Melinda with a lovestruck smile._ _ _ _

____“Probably,” you agree with a laugh. “I better go head him off so Mel can actually get where she needs to go.”_ _ _ _

____“You’d better run, then,” Laura smiles, and you smile back at her before dashing off to intercept Sam._ _ _ _

____“Don’t take another step,” you command in your most authoritative voice once you reach him._ _ _ _

____“Or what?” he asks, looking skeptical._ _ _ _

____“Or nothing,” you admit. “I just wanted to give Melinda time to get away so that she can actually get some work done without you pestering her.”_ _ _ _

____“I never pester!” he protests._ _ _ _

____Steve overhears as he walks through the door._ _ _ _

____“Sure you don’t,” he says sarcastically._ _ _ _

____Sam sticks out his tongue at the super soldier and you giggle._ _ _ _

____“Are you condoning disrespect, Sunshine?” Steve asks, trying to be stern, and you try to keep a straight face._ _ _ _

____“No, I am not, Captain Rogers.”_ _ _ _

____“I am!” Bucky jumps in cheerfully. You start laughing even harder._ _ _ _

____“Poor Steve!” you say, trying to be sympathetic. “It must be hard, having your authority undermined like that._ _ _ _

____“It is,” Steve says, pulling his best wounded puppy face, “but I make it through, somehow.”_ _ _ _

____Bucky grins unrepentantly and slings an arm around Steve’s shoulders, winking at you. You sigh again._ _ _ _

____“It’s too bad that all of this is going to be over soon,” you muse. “It’s so nice to do nothing but eat and talk all day.”_ _ _ _

____“And nap,” Clint puts in from where he’s been listening to the entire conversation._ _ _ _

____“Speak for yourself, old man,” Sam teases, and Clint looks so righteously offended that you almost feel sorry for him._ _ _ _

____Almost._ _ _ _

____“It’s not all terrible, though,” Steve, ever the optimist, says. “The party is probably going to be pretty fun.”_ _ _ _

____“Probably?” Tony scoffs, walking by and overhearing. “It is DEFINITELY going to be the absolute _best _party that Sunny has ever been to.”___ _ _ _

______“Though it’s not that hard to be the best party I’ve ever been to, considering the fact that I’ve never been to a party in my life,” you remind him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Whatever,” Tony shrugs, and continues on his merry way to wherever he’s going._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Maybe – ” you begin, but Wanda materializes out of nowhere (figuratively, not literally – you don’t think that her powers include teleportation) before you can finish._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Come on, (Y/N)!” She tugs on your arm. “We’re off on one last girl-only excursion. Laura just put Nathaniel down for nap, so we have two hours to enjoy ourselves.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______And then she dashes back to rejoin the others, leaving you to shrug apologetically at the guys._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Duty calls,” you grin, and scamper off, smiling at the laughter that is following you._ _ _ _ _ _

______“So where are we off to?” you ask the girls as you catch up with them._ _ _ _ _ _

______“To find some clothes,” Natasha tells you. “Tony let some designer stores buy partial ownership, so there are some pretty great stores on the ship. We’re going to find outfits for the party.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ooh!” you say, sort of surprised but not really. It’s just the sort of thing Tony would do – though you’re guessing that Pepper had a hand in it, too. “And we’ll all be able to find something in a couple of hours?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Pepper winks at you._ _ _ _ _ _

______“To help with the agonizing, Tony has agreed to cover all expenses,” she explains. “It’s sort of unnecessary, since he’s the one who allowed them to be on his ship in the first place, but there’s a lot of complicated jargon involved, so suffice it to say that everything’s free.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You almost choke on her words._ _ _ _ _ _

______“ _Free? _”___ _ _ _ _ _

________Pepper grins._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Everything.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You’ve never been one for shopping, but you can feel excitement taking over. This is going to be fun._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________An hour and a half later, you’re still going strong. Clint has been informed that he’ll be looking after Nathaniel once the baby wakes up, the guys have been notified that they’re probably not going to be seeing the girls for awhile, and all of you are squealing over various selections. Pepper has found a complete ensemble (and all of you helped, because, as Laura said, “you only announce your engagement once!”), Jane has gotten a lovely red dress with matching shoes and a silver bracelet, and Wanda has found a little black dress that she’s totally in love with._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The rest of you are struggling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You know that if you wore green, Bruce would be completely whipped,” Sharon says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“But I HATE green,” Natasha grumbles. “Unless it’s on him, of course,” she adds as an afterthought._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It would be so gorgeous with your eyes!” you remind her. “Make them really pop.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“But colors aren’t my thing,” Nat whines. “Not unless they’re black.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Black isn’t a color, and you are not wearing it, anyway,” Laura says firmly. Natasha pouts like a child._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“How about red?” you offer, because her hair... it made sense._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No. I’m not playing twinsies with Jane,” Nat sniffs. Jane has every right to take offense at that, but, bless the angel, she just grins good naturedly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“We could trade personas, Nat!” she offers. “I’ll be ‘fire’, and you can be ‘water!’”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________(Fire... Water... Don’t ask. Suffice it to say that you’ve had some very interesting breakfast conversations.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I do like blue,” Natasha concedes, and everyone jumps at the statement._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I saw a gorgeous blue dress just this way!” Laura gushes, dragging Nat past racks of clothes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Less than fifteen minutes later, all of you are standing in the changing rooms, fangirling over your friend._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She looks even more gorgeous than usual._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She’s wearing a floor length gown that is such a deep blue you’d think it was black, except for the fact that it shimmers in the light. It’s strapless, with a straight neckline, and it has ‘Natasha Romanoff’ written all over it. She’s wearing six inch silver stilettos, the kind of shoes that would kill you and the kind of shoes that Natasha kills._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Even though she’s trying to glare at her reflection, you can tell that she loves the look, and when you tease her about Bruce liking what he’ll see, she even blushes a little._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________With Natasha’s dress purchased, you move on to Laura and Sharon. Laura puts together a skirt and a top that you never would have matched, but which look absolutely perfect on her. Sharon digs through the clearance rack and emerges triumphantly with a deep green knee-length off-the-shoulder number that you can tell Steve is going to love._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And that leaves you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________To be honest, you were having much more fun shopping for everyone else than you will have shopping for yourself, so you try to beg your way out of it, arguing that you have a perfectly good hand-me-down from Natasha, and that it will be perfectly suitable for the evening._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Nobody else sees it that way, for some reason._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You NEED a dress, Sun!” Sharon insists._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“If I have to get one, you have to get one,” Natasha smirks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Come on, (Y/N),” Pepper wheedles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________In the end, your resolve crumbles, and you let them tow you around the store, sorting through racks of clothes and dismissing garments left, right, and center._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________For a while, you’re content to just sit back and watch them bicker about which dress would be your ‘color’ and which scarf would bring out the color of your eyes and which shoes would compliment the outfit best, and Natasha seems content to sit beside you and watch._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________‘Seems’ being the operative word here._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________After fifteen minutes of this, she suddenly stands up and strides forward, with a muttered ‘for the love of all that is holy.’ She whips a dress off of one rack, whips a pair of heels off of another, and throws them at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Go try those on,” she instructs, and you lift up the dress dubiously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m not going to fit in this,” you say, eyeing the tiny waist on the garment. “And then there’s the matter of the heels...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Shut up,” Natasha rolls her eyes, “and try the clothes on.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There’s no point in arguing with Nat when she’s in what Clint calls ‘army commander mode,’ so you meekly take the dress and the shoes and disappear into the changing rooms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You’re more than a little nervous, but when you turn around and see your reflection, you realize that there’s absolutely nothing to be nervous about._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The training with Bucky and Natasha (and Clint, and Sam, and Steve... Bucky had been insistent that you get _lots _of practice) has paid off in ways that you haven’t noticed until now – your arms and legs are firmed and toned, your tummy is flatter, and your waist is smaller. And the best part is, the dress shows that improvement to its maximum potential. All the balance training that you’ve done – why exactly Tony has a friggin balance beam on a cruise ship, you will never know – has paid off, too, meaning that you stand tall and confident in the heels.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The dress is a shimmery pale blue that almost feels like wearable water, and you’d think that it was too much if it weren’t for the plain dark blue sandals, which seem to balance it out. There’s a single strap that goes over your left shoulder, and a plain, dark blue belt that goes around the middle. It clings to your newly training-ified body until it ends at just past your knees._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Suffice it to say that you look _amazing _.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You twirl around and around, admiring the reflection of the girl that you don’t even recognize, until Laura gets worried and knocks on the door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Sunny? You okay in there?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You open the door, and you can feel yourself beaming. Everyone lets out gasps of admiration, and a flush creeps up your cheeks. This time, you don’t even feel awkward about it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“It’s perfect,” Jane says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Good eye, Natasha!” Pepper says approving, walking around you so that she can scrutinize the outfit from all angles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Natasha just grins at the praise._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You look _amazing _, (Y/N)!” Wanda exclaims.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Laura pretends to wipe her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“My little baby’s all grown up,” she teases, and you laugh at that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It had to happen sometime,” you say, trying to keep a straight face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Seriously,” she says as you turn back to look at yourself in the mirror again, “you look incredible, girl.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Thanks,” you blush. “I FEEL incredible. Thanks for picking this outfit out, Nat.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Natasha smiles, one of the realest and most genuine smiles you’ve ever seen her smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Just make sure that you impress Bucky with it,” she grins at you, and you attempt a salute._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Yes, ma’am.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Sharon and Jane laugh at you, but Natasha frowns._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Don’t call me ‘ma’am.’ Makes me feel old.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Oops. Sorry. I meant to say ‘O Great and Powerful Romanoff,’” you grin as you slip out of the dress and unstrap the sandals._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Don’t make me regret helping you out,” Natasha warns you, and you prudently choose to let her have this round._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Some ice cream cones, a swim, and a lovely little stroll later, your little group of girls slips back into the common room after stashing all the bags in your rooms. The seven of you are giggling like teenagers, and all the guys give you some strange looks as you claim a middle table to finish your midday snacks on._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“That was fun,” Wanda declares as she crunches on her potato chips. You grab one and pop it into your mouth before agreeing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Yes, it was.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“We should do it again sometime,” Laura says, sipping her iced coffee. “Make it a regular thing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Except that not all of us are crazy rich,” Jane puts in ruefully. “I’m not sure that I can afford to make this a regular thing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You snort at that, because you’ve bought more on this ship than you have in the last five years combined, and the only reason you’ve ‘bought’ anything is that Tony is paying for it. Jane looks apologetic._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t think about that before I said it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You shake your head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Nothing to be sorry about. I’m not ashamed of it – just sad that I never got to experience the beauty that is a giant soft pretzel until now.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You take a big bite of your treat for emphasis._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Pepper laughs at you, but her eyes are soft and you can tell that she’s feeling sorry for the years that you spent as a homeless vagabond._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You want to prove that it’s really fine, so you change the subject to the upcoming wedding. It works like a charm; there’s nothing that the girls like talking about more._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Unfortunately, you’re so in the clouds about your new outfit and the possibility of something actually happening with Bucky and you that you can’t even sit through the entire conversation, so you thank everybody for the awesome afternoon and slip away to talk to Sam._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Where’s Melinda?” you ask him without even greeting him. “I thought she was getting off early.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I don’t know,” he moans, sounding so pathetic that you have no sympathy for him. “She hasn’t shown up yet.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I can see that. Did she mention anything she has to do today?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“No,” he says. “I didn’t – wait a minute.” He just actually looked at you for the first time. “Where’d you get the pretzel?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Glad to see you’re so loyal,” you laugh. “And that’s none of your business. It was a girl’s day out.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Why wasn’t I invited?” he wonders, and you shoot him a LOOK. He starts laughing. “Okay, okay, that was a stupid question. But, you know, I wasn’t REALLY asking it. It was a – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Before he can finish his statement he’s interrupted by a pair of arms wrapping around him from behind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Where have you been, girl?” he asks Melinda without turning around, and you inwardly squeal at how cute it is that he knows that it’s her just from her hug._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Out and about,” she says evasively, winking at you. He turns around so that he can see her, and you discreetly take your leave, because you know what happens when they meet each other’s eyes – the rest of the world fades away and they wouldn’t know that you’re there if you waved your hand in front of their faces._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________So you walk away. Maybe you’ll go talk to Bucky. Maybe you’ll return to the wedding conversation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Whatever you do, you’re going to do it with your friends, and that’s all that really matters._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FILLER.  
> Filler, short, terrible, I’m sorry.  
> This probably shouldn’t even count as a chapter.  
> Sorry.  
> Stay tuned for the next update!!!

“It’s the last day!” Tony wails. You can’t see Steve rolling his eyes at him but you can imagine it.

You and Tony are sitting in the corner, bemoaning the end of the joy-filled days of the _JARVIS _. You woke up this morning feeling sad and so, apparently, did the billionaire.__

__Everyone else is completely done with the two of you._ _

__“You realize that it’s YOUR ship, right, Tony?” Pepper asks, coming over to sit down next to him. “You can take a trip on it anytime you want to.”_ _

__All traces of sadness disappear from Tony’s face and he bounces out of his hole of depression._ _

__“I can, can’t I?”_ _

__“Within reason,” Pepper hastily amends, and you grin. It’s too late to bring reason to the conversation now._ _

__“I can take a trip any time I want to,” Tony muses, apparently feeling very empowered by the reminder of his wealth._ _

__You shake your head at him._ _

__“You call yourself a genius, and you didn’t even realize that until now?” you ask incredulously._ _

__“I was blinded by grief!” he says defensively. “And don’t call the kettle black, Sun – you were over here in my corner of sadness with me!”_ _

__“Yes, but I’m super emotional,” you reason. “You have no excuse.”_ _

__“Why can’t I be super emotional, too?” Tony whines._ _

__“Good grief,” Pepper mutters under her breath. “What are you, five?”_ _

__You grin sheepishly._ _

__“Yeah. Sorry about that.”_ _

__“Oh, I’m not blaming you,” she says breezily. “I’m blaming Mister ‘It’s-My-Boat-But-It’s-The-Last-Day-So-Woe-Is-Me’ over here.”_ _

__“It’s a SHIP,” Tony scowls, “and why does (Y/N) get off the hook? She’s being just as ridiculous as I am.”_ _

__“Yes, but her ridiculous isn’t annoying,” Pepper says mildly._ _

__“Oh,” Tony says. “So I’m ridiculous?”_ _

__“Yes,” says Pepper, “but I love you anyway.”_ _

__You’re not willing to stick around and witness the corner of sadness turn into the corner of lovebirds, so you set off in search of Bucky._ _

__You’re not really sure WHAT the relationship between the two of you is anymore – you’re pretty sure that he likes you and you like him and you both know it, but you don’t know what that means for the relationship between the two of you. You’re guessing, based on the cues you’re getting from him, that you’re still just friends... but now the two of you are SPECIAL friends._ _

__Wanda thinks that this is totally ridiculous and that you should just confront Bucky and make sure you both know where you stand, but you’re a non-confrontational person. And being special friends – hey, that’s better than regular friends. Plus, Bucky hugs you a whole lot more when you’re special friends._ _

__You’re pretty content with where you are, to be honest._ _

__Your thoughts are interrupted by Lila, Cassie, and Nathaniel dashing by you, giggling as they’re chased by their respective dads. You smile at the fact that Hawkeye and Ant-Man are crawling on all fours along the floor, pretending to growl at the same time, all for their kids. It’s sweet._ _

__Clint and Scott, however, obviously don’t see it quite the way you do. As soon as they see you, matching expressions of embarrassment and bashfulness creep onto their faces and they stand up hastily._ _

__“Um... hi,” Clint says, and you grin at him._ _

__“At ease, man,” you say, and he grins back at you._ _

__“Daddy!” Cassie calls, and Scott offers you an apologetic shrug before striding over to see what she wants._ _

__“So, last day, huh?” Clint muses, watching as Scott swings a laughing Cassie around._ _

__“Last day,” you sigh. He grins._ _

__“It’s not all going to be over,” he says. “We’ll see each other on a regular basis.”_ _

__You sigh._ _

__“I know. I just... seeing each other on a regular basis is different from seeing each other all day, every day. And it’s not easy to take a trip with three little people in the car. I’ll miss Laura and the kids.”_ _

__For a moment, you’re afraid that Clint is going to think that you’re too emotional or dramatic or something, but when you look up at him he’s smiling._ _

__“You’re pretty great,” he grins, ruffling your hair. “She’s going to miss you, too.”_ _

__You watch as Laura scoops Nathaniel up in her arms and smothers him with kisses._ _

__“I don’t know how she does it,” you say. “Managing three kids and a farm. She’s amazing.”_ _

__“She is,” Clint agrees, watching his wife with a smitten smile. You grin at how cute they are._ _

__“If I and Bucky were to get together, I’d want us to have a relationship like you and Laura,” you muse aloud._ _

__You don’t realize what just came out of your mouth until you notice that Clint has a huge grin that’s taken over his entire face._ _

__“I mean – not that we’d actually get together. Like, not... I mean...” you stumble over your words, trying to gloss over the fact that you just daydreamed out loud._ _

__“Uh-uh,” Clint shakes his head, still with that huge smile on his face. “You’re not getting away that easily.”_ _

__You sigh._ _

__“Come on, Barton. You and I both know that there’s no chance of a real relationship ever happening.”_ _

__Clint snorts at that._ _

__"Sun, he JUST took you on a friggin date to the secret library!"_ _

__You gape at him. "I thought that only I knew about that!"_ _

__"Only you, Sam, and I," he corrects you. "Who do you think forced Barnes to finally ask you to go out with him?"_ _

__You gape at him._ _

__"What the heck, Clint?" you ask him. "Why would you do that?"_ _

__Clint rolls his eyes._ _

__"Come ON, Sunny," he drawls. "Both of you are so in love that it's ridiculous. You guys needed a nudge."_ _

__"In love," you scoff. "No, Clint, not in love. More... in like than love. And, besides, it's OUR business, not yours."_ _

__He grins unrepentantly._ _

__"You're totally right," he says, and you're about to bask in the triumph of your success before he continues, "but if you ask Tasha, you'll find out that the fact that it's your business and not mine really doesn't matter. Plus, if you REALLY didn't want me to meddle, you shouldn't have been so smitten with each other in front of me. You were practically BEGGING me to come do something."_ _

__You have to laugh at that._ _

__"You're deplorable, man."_ _

__He just keeps grinning unrepentantly._ _

__"Yes, but it worked, didn't it? The two of you admitted that you're crushing on each other, right?"_ _

__"Well..."_ _

__"Don't tell me that you didn’t," Clint groans. "We spent a solid five minutes convincing Bucky to approach your table."_ _

__You roll your eyes._ _

__" I'm so honored to know that you spent five whole minutes trying to secure my happiness. And I was GOING to say, before I was so rudely interrupted, that I'm not even sure where our relationship is right now.”_ _

__"I could ask him for you," Clint offers, and you stick out your tongue at him._ _

__"I don't need you to," you inform him. "I'm perfectly capable of marching over there and asking him myself."_ _

__"Go, Sunny," Clint cheers._ _

__"I didn't say I WOULD," you remind him. "Just that I COULD."_ _

__"And you SHOULD," Clint persists. "It's crucial for my curiosity to be satisfied."_ _

__"You nosy matchmaker," you shake your head at him. "I'm not going."_ _

__"Well, then, I will, he declares, and before you can say anything to stop him he starts striding over to where Bucky is sitting with a book._ _

__"No!" you shriek before you think about the potential consequences, and then you cover your mouth. Drawing attention to yourself is the last thing you want at the moment._ _

__Fortunately, everyone is used to you doing odd things with no explanation, so no one really even bats an eyelash. You let out a sigh of relief and jog to catch up with Clint._ _

__"No," you say in a more civil and quiet tone. "I'll go myself."_ _

__"Atta girl," Clint says, and he has such an insufferably smug expression on his face that for a minute you wonder how you've managed to stay friends with him all this time._ _

__But before you can be too annoyed - before you can even think about it, really – you’ve reached the lounge chair that Bucky is curled up in. He looks up at you with a smile._ _

__"Was Clint being a nuisance?" he asks you, marking his spot in his book with a napkin. (You've learned that when you're a reader, you use whatever's at hand as a bookmark, and you very rarely use actual bookmarks themselves.)_ _

__"Was he ever," you sigh, dropping into your chair with a dramatic sigh. He chuckles._ _

__"He's insufferable, isn't he?" he sympathizes._ _

__"Sometimes," you agree, feeling much better already. "What are you reading?"_ _

__He holds up the book so that you can see the cover - 'Tales from the Arabian Nights.' You nod approvingly._ _

__"Very nice."_ _

__"How are you liking the _Fellowship _?” he asks. You finished _The Hobbit _very quickly, on account of its being the best book ever (in your opinion, anyway. You haven’t had a chance to read in years, which means that your memories of all the stories that you’ve read are a little fuzzy.), and immediately dragged Bucky back to the library to find the sequels._____ _

______“Liking? Try LOVING. It’s SO good!” you say emphatically._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Just wait until you see the movies,” Bucky grins, and you grin back, getting excited about watching them just thinking about it. “Stark is a huge fan, and he has all the Extended Editions.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Tony’s into Lord of the Rings?” you ask, surprised, which launches Bucky into a tirade about what a geek Tony truly is and how someone should tell the world because it would make him that much more popular, and you’re hmming and mm-hmming your assent and agreement._ _ _ _ _ _

______Eventually Bucky wears himself out and you wake yourself up and Laura comes over. Turns out that everyone is going to the pool for one last dip, so you dash to your room and slip into your swimsuit and head up to the pool._ _ _ _ _ _

______All of you spend almost three hours in the water, talking and splashing and laughing and (surprisingly) actually swimming. You teach Lila to float on her back and Bucky teaches Cooper how to sneak up behind an unsuspecting floater and scare the life out of them. You almost drown when he pulls that trick, you’re so surprised. You’re spluttering and floundering and coughing, and Bucky is holding you up so that you don’t actually drown, and all of you are laughing._ _ _ _ _ _

______And it occurs to you that if this is what it’s going to be like for the rest of your life, you can definitely handle that._ _ _ _ _ _


	25. Chapter 25

You thought that docking and leaving the _JARVIS _was going to be super emotional.__

__Turns out you’re so busy wrangling bags (since WHEN do you have two duffel bags? Apparently having a billionaire for a friend isn’t all advantages), wrangling children, and wrangling yourself that you don’t have time to even think about being emotional._ _

__“Does everyone have everything?” Tony asks. All of you have gathered in the common room one last time. Sam has an arm around Melinda’s waist, and you’re leaning your head against Bucky’s shoulder. You stayed up well past your bedtime last night, as a last hurrah._ _

__Okay, so maybe your last hurrah WAS in a library. But Steve and Bucky were there, and so was Jane, and so was Wanda! You weren’t being antisocial!_ _

__Various mumbles of the affirmative ring out from across the room._ _

__“All right,” Tony says, “this is it. Thank you all for coming on this cruise – ” he’s interrupted by a round of applause, because this has been AMAZING. Free everything, sunny days, bathing suits, and an ocean breeze. It’s been the most amazing experience you’ve ever had. “ – and I’m not going anywhere so that’s all I’m going to say.”_ _

__You laugh and feel a little sting behind your eyes at the same time. (Probably more related to your late night than actual sadness, but still.)_ _

__“You good?” Bucky asks, and you nod.  
The real emotions kick in after you’ve disembarked, and you stare up at the huge ship with a very tangible sense of loss._ _

__Melinda slings an arm around your shoulders from where she stands beside you._ _

__“I’m going to miss it, too,” she says softly, and you feel another arm – a metal arm – wrap around your shoulders from the other side._ _

__“Same here,” Bucky says quietly._ _

__You sigh, but before you can respond, Tony starts yelling at you._ _

__“All right! That’s enough mourning. It’s time to move on, Sunny and Company.”_ _

__You stick out your tongue at him._ _

__“You have no sympathy for a grieving woman?” you ask, pretending hurt. He grins, and you have a complete inability to keep a straight face when someone is smiling at you, so you smile back._ _

__“Not when there’s a party tonight,” he reminds you._ _

__The mention of the party snaps you out of your sadness._ _

__“Right!” you nod, and then you have a momentary fear of where you’re going to stay._ _

__You should have known that there was no need to worry, because EVERYONE is going back to Stark Tower – including Melinda – to get ready. You jump in a taxi with Bucky and Sam and try to prepare yourself to see the most amazing tower that has ever been made so that you don’t end up freaking out over how amazing it is._ _

__It doesn’t work._ _

__The Tower is so big and impressive and emblazoned with impressiveness that you just stand there with wide eyes and a dropped jaw for a good ten minutes. Everyone else heads inside, and Wanda has to tap you on the shoulder to shake you out of your trance._ _

__“It’s big, isn’t it?” she says, and you can tell that she probably reacted much the same way you’re reacting right now the first time she came here._ _

__“It sure is,” you agree vehemently, and you’re about to comment on how Tony really has a huge ego to put his name on a skyscraper when a disembodied voice speaks from the ceiling._ _

__“Welcome back.”_ _

__You stare around you with wide eyes and a beating heart. That was just a little unnerving._ _

__“AI system?” you guess, whispering in Steve’s ear, and he nods._ _

__“She’s called FRIDAY. It’s very unsettling at first, but you get used to her after awhile.”_ _

__You nod, taking in the information along with the huge lobby-like area that you’re in right now and the fact that there are enough couches in here to seat a thousand people. And there’s a ping pong table, and an air hockey table, _and _some arcade-style video games.___ _

____Bucky is watching your amazement with a grin, and he leans in to tell you, “It gets even crazier.”_ _ _ _

____You scoff at that, because come on. What can be crazier than this?_ _ _ _

____Turns out a lot of stuff can. Namely the umpteenth floors of the Tower that you’re apparently going to LIVE in for the next little while._ _ _ _

____When Pepper mentions that you’ll be staying here for the next couple of months, ‘just to settle into your role with the company,’ you have a sudden urge to just sit down. This has been a very emotional day, and a shock like that was not helpful._ _ _ _

____“Wasn’t... apartment...” you stammer weakly, and she shrugs._ _ _ _

____“We decided it would be easier for you just to stay here. Much shorter commute.”_ _ _ _

____She winks at you, and you can’t help smiling. Everyone else continued walking when she stopped you, so the two of you are now alone in the hallway._ _ _ _

____“Well... thank you, Pepper,” you say. “I really... I really appreciate it.”_ _ _ _

____“It’s just a room,” she says cavalierly, and you shake your head._ _ _ _

____“Not just for the room. Thank you for... for everything.”_ _ _ _

____She smiles at you again, and there’s a lot of warmth in her eyes._ _ _ _

____“It’s my pleasure, (Y/N),” she says sincerely, and you have to resist the temptation to throw your arms around her and hug her tightly._ _ _ _

____“I’ll show you your room,” she offers after a minute, and you gratefully follow her down the hall._ _ _ _

____When she opens the door to the room you’re pretty sure that you’re in Heaven, or somewhere equally amazing._ _ _ _

____The floor is covered with a thick carpet, which matches the light blue drapes at the window. There’s a TV, a coffee machine, and a kitchenette. A KITCHENETTE. You could LIVE here. The bed looks so soft and amazing and beautiful that you get excited to sleep in it, even though it’s the middle of the day._ _ _ _

____You turn to Pepper and raise your eyebrows._ _ _ _

____“Are you sure you want to trust me in this room?” you ask skeptically. She rolls her eyes at you._ _ _ _

____“YES, Sun,” she says, sounding exasperatedly fond. “It’s all yours, for as long as you want it.”_ _ _ _

____You just stare around it in a struggle for comprehension, and she chuckles softly after a moment._ _ _ _

____“I’ll leave you to unpack,” she says, and closes the door behind her._ _ _ _

____You wait until her footsteps fade down the hall to throw yourself down on the bed and wriggle around like a mad thing, muttering nonsense all the while._ _ _ _

____You have a ROOM. In STARK TOWER. For AS LONG AS YOU NEED IT._ _ _ _

____What even?_ _ _ _

____The bed is as soft as it looks, and you’re tempted to just stay in it and sleep instead of going to the party. But you have a new dress for the occasion, and there’s no way you’re just leaving it in the closet._ _ _ _

____Or the bag, as the case may be, and with that in mind you quickly scramble to the end of the bed, reluctantly letting go of the luxuriously fluffy pillow you’d been hugging, and start unpacking your things._ _ _ _

____It’s not like you have a lot, so you’re moved in fairly quickly, and when you’ve stashed your bags in the bottom of the closet you venture outside of your room in search of Natasha, who promised to do your makeup._ _ _ _

____However, you do NOT know your way around the Tower, even a little bit, and before you know it you’re pretty hopelessly lost. Before you can go back and retrace your steps, though, Jane comes around the corner and bumps into you._ _ _ _

____“Oh, hey, Sun,” she greets you. (The two of you have a really involved and confusing inside joke because of the fact that she’s an astronomer and your nickname, when shortened, is a star, but it’s too involved and confusing to get into.) “Have you seen Thor? I’m supposed to be helping him out with his clothes for tonight.” She rolls her eyes. “That man is like a toddler. He’s got lots of energy and he can’t dress himself.”_ _ _ _

____You laugh and tell her that you haven’t seen Thor._ _ _ _

____“In fact, I don’t even know where I am right now. Do you know which way will get me to Natasha’s room?”_ _ _ _

____Jane takes pity on you and guides you to where you need to be, and you thank her profusely. She waves it off._ _ _ _

____“Nat has to make you look so good that Bucky just gets over himself and snatches you up before some other man there does.”_ _ _ _

____You laugh._ _ _ _

____“I doubt that any other man there is going to want – ”_ _ _ _

____“No,” she interrupts you, “you don’t get to be self critical. You’re beautiful, you’re going to look amazing, and Bucky won’t even remember how to breathe when he sees you. Now get in there and let Nat work her magic.”_ _ _ _

____You can’t help feeling touched by this display of tough love._ _ _ _

____“Okay. Thanks, Jane.”_ _ _ _

____She grins at you._ _ _ _

____“Any time.”_ _ _ _

____You watch her as she strides down the hall and into Thor. These corners are confusing and scary. But before you can watch to see if Thor is going to apologize cutely or jerkily, the door opens and Natasha grabs your hand and drags you inside._ _ _ _

____“All right,” she says, setting you in a chair and pulling out her makeup bag. “Let’s do this thing.”_ _ _ _

____“You realize that there are, like, three hours until this thing starts, right?” you ask, eyeing her seemingly endless array of brushes with something akin to alarm. “We don’t have to get going right this second.”_ _ _ _

____She rolls her eyes and starts brushing something onto your face._ _ _ _

____“Yes, we do. I have myself to get ready, too. And don’t even think about saying that it’s going to all fall off,” she says. “I have some pretty long lasting stuff.”_ _ _ _

____Well, her makeup always looks flawless, regardless of how long she’s left it, so maybe she has a point. You resign yourself to your fate and close your eyes so that she can shadow your eyes._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____A half-hour later, you’re staring into a mirror with a smile that’s threatening to crack your face._ _ _ _

____“It’s gorgeous, Nat,” you gush. “Thank you so much!”_ _ _ _

____The face in the mirror is totally yours and yet somehow totally different. Your eyes look bigger, your cheekbones are sharper, and your skin is totally flawless. Not to mention the fact that somehow your lips are now basically perfect. You feel prettier than you’ve ever been._ _ _ _

____Nat waves your praise away with the slightest hint of a blush on her face._ _ _ _

____“Get out of here, you,” she says fondly._ _ _ _

____You hand her the mirror back and stand to leave. Before you actually leave the room, though, you hear her saying, ‘Wait,’ so you stop and turn back._ _ _ _

____“You look really good, (Y/N),” she says, and you can tell that she’s one of her very rare sentimental moods. “Go get dressed, and knock Barnes’s socks off, and elope after you’re drunk enough.”_ _ _ _

____You laugh at her, though you can’t help wondering if there’s a story behind the fact that it even occurs to her to say that._ _ _ _

____“Well, thanks, Natasha,” you say. “I’ll be sure to do exactly that.”_ _ _ _

____She winks at you, and you grin back, and as you head back to your room you start feeling little butterflies fluttering around in your stomach. You look REALLY good. Maybe tonight will be the night. Maybe Bucky will confess to having loved you since he met you and he’ll kiss you and you’ll live happily ever after._ _ _ _

____You skip along to your room, feeling optimistic and excited._ _ _ _

____You’ll just have to wait and see what happens._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short again, I know. But it’s pretty exciting, right??? The party is going to be a really good time.  
> (For most people.)  
> Was that a hint? You’ll have to wait and see what happens. ;) Next update should be up within the week.  
> Love to you all! You’re amazing and I am so thankful for you! Thank you for reading my story!


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh! Warning: this chapter went crazy. I don't know what happened. Brace yourself.  
> Also, shoutout to my girl WaywardWolf007: I missed you last chapter! I hope you're doing okay!   
> Also, all my commenters for last chapter - you made my life so much better! Love you all!  
> <3  
> Enjoy!

“Okay,” Laura nods at you. “You can look now.”

You turn to look in the mirror. Laura decided to do your hair in her room.

In fact, pretty much all of the girls have crowded into Laura’s room. Jane’s putting the final touches to her lipstick in the corner, Nat has taken over the dresser with her hair products, Pepper has escaped Tony’s pleas for help with his bowtie and is currently helping Wanda lace up her dress, as is Melinda. (It’s apparently a very complicated dress to get into. Though you’re not one to judge; it took three people to adjust your own dress to a satisfactory position.) Sharon is the only one not in the main room, and that’s because she’s in the adjoining bathroom curling her eyelashes.

It’s basically like a slumber party without the slumber.

But back to the moment where you’re admiring your hair in the mirror – it’s amazing! Laura braided it so that it curls around your neck and then falls free down your right shoulder. She also curled the little tendrils to frame your face, and you are overjoyed with the way that it’s turned out. 

And with the makeup on your face, and the dress hugging your body, and the shoes elongating your legs... you’re feeling pretty excited about tonight.

You’re guessing everyone else is, too, judging by the way they’re running around giggling like teenagers.

The madness would probably go on indefinitely if it weren’t for Lila sticking her head in the door and saying, “Uncle Tony wants you to know that he’s going to the party room in ten minutes, and all of the guys – and Nathaniel, and Cooper, and Cassie – are going with him.”

Pepper rolls her eyes and makes a noise of disgust.

“You can tell Uncle Tony that we’re leaving in five.”

Lila shrugs, says ‘okay,’ and closes the door. 

All of you stare at Pepper with wide and panicked eyes. There’s a brief moment of silence, and then everyone starts talking at once.

“Five _minutes _?” you clarify with a sinking heart.__

__“How am I supposed to be done in five minutes?” Wanda wails._ _

__“I can’t do that!” Sharon cries._ _

__“This is ridiculous,” Natasha finally hollers, and she’s loud enough to be heard above the ruckus. All of you listen meekly. “We are _not _leaving in five minutes,” she says calmly. “None of us – with the exception of myself and our little Sunny – ” (you take a moment to feel special here) “are ready to go.” There can be no arguing with that, so no one says anything. “So we won’t leave in five minutes. What does it matter what time we leave, anyway? We won’t leave with a bang. But we will _arrive _in _style _.”_______ _

________That little speech was exactly what all of you needed to encourage, inspire, and move you, and fifteen minutes later, all of you are heading out the door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Which is, when you think about it, quite an accomplishment, considering the fact that fifteen minutes ago, all of you were thinking that you had another half an hour, and also considering the fact that all of you are women._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Anyway, you all link arms and head down the hall, and you feel yourself turn into Cinderella, off to the ball. That’s what it feels like, anyway. What with the new dress and the new shoes and the gorgeous hair and the top-of-the-line makeup, you reason that you’re as close to Cinderella as anyone in real life is ever going to get._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The conversation on the way there consists mainly of what Steve, Bruce, Bucky, and Sam are going to think of all of their respective girls._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m so excited!” Laura squeals. “Bucky’s jaw is going to DROP.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Natasha grins widely._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“He’s going to be _very _pleased to see you,” she winks, and you frown at her mischievous expression.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“What? Is there a hidden meaning there that I should know about?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She rolls her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Sunny, you are the most innocent child I have ever met.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You scoff._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I am no child! And I’m not innocent, either!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yeah, right,” she says, in the tone that she uses when she’s being more patronizing and condescending than usual._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“What?” you demand. “Are you saying that I’m really the most innocent person you’ve ever met? What about Clint and Laura’s kids?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She winks at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’m pretty sure that Lila would pick up on more insinuations than you would,” Natasha guesses. You harrumph and cross your arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Pepper shakes her head at you, laughing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Innocence isn’t a bad thing, you dork,” she says. You gasp in mock horror._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Did you just call me names?” you ask her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She snorts derisively._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“No. I called you _a _name. There’s a difference.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“That doesn’t sound right,” you scoff. “What, pray tell, is this difference you speak of?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Well,” Pepper begins, but before she can finish her statement you’ve made it to the room the party is being held in. There’s already music playing, and you can hear the chatter of people talking, and you start to feel nervous._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Guys,” you begin, but before you can say anything Laura shushes you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You are going to go out there, you are going to have a good time, and you are going to be fabulous,” she says, and when you start to protest she says, “no buts.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________There’s really nothing you can say to that, so you just nod meekly and take a deep breath as Wanda, for a dramatic gesture, makes the doors swing open using only her powers._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Ready?” she whispers to you, eyes sparkling with excitement._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You look at all the people dancing and laughing and talking and you think of yourself, looking better than you’ve ever looked before, and you grin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Yep.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Bucky is talking to some overly flirtatious and extremely annoying bimbo – most certainly not by choice – when the doors swing open (courtesy of Wanda, as evidenced by the red magicky stuff that’s seeping under them) and the girls walk in._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He said ‘the girls’; what he meant was _his _girl.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________(Y/N) is more than beautiful, more than gorgeous, more than stunning. He can’t think of any words that accurately describe how incredible she looks, so he doesn’t even try. He just watches her laugh at something that Natasha leaned over and whispered in her ear, watches the way her nose crinkles a little and the way that her eyes sparkle, and he knows that that’s who he’s going to be spending his evening with. He tries to think of a good way to end the conversation with Blondie, but nothing comes to mind, so he just walks away. He’ll gain a reputation around the room as a bit of a jerk, but he knows that (Y/N) won’t mind and so he doesn’t care._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He feels his mouth going dry and his heart start beating faster as he gets closer to her, and he wracks his brain for something to say._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________(Y/N), you look beautiful._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________What’s up, gorgeous? ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________How you doin’, darlin’? _was one that always got a good response in the forties.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________But this isn’t the forties, dang it, and he doesn’t know what to say, and all of a sudden she’s looking at him and their eyes meet and he honestly, genuinely, definitely has absolutely nothing to say._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Hi, Bucky,” she greets him, looking almost shy, and he’s momentarily distracted by how perfect her lips are._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He’s noticed how perfect they are before, of course, but he’s really hit by their perfectness now that they’re so brilliantly red._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________When he says nothing, she continues, “Pretty nice party, isn’t it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Mmm,” he agrees articulately, still trying to get over how graceful she is in heels._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Thankfully, she’s used to his silences and she’s used to plowing through them and she keeps talking as if he’d said something intelligent._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I’m feeling a little strange – I don’t think heels agree with me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I think they’re wonderful on you,” he blurts out before he can stop himself, and an adorable blush starts to dust her cheeks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You really think so?” she asks softly, looking insecure. “I’m not – I don’t – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Stop talking,” he says, as soon as she starts stammering. “You look fantastic, and you’re going to come dance with me. Isn’t that right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________She lets out an awkward giggle and nods._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Wow, you know me so well! That’s exactly right,” she teases, and he winks at her before rearranging his features into a more serious expression._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Shall we, m’lady?” he asks as he holds out his arm for her to take._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________She straightens herself up and tries to look prim before she accepts the proffered arm. She’s so darn cute._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“We shall.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He guides her between the many people to the spot that Tony designated ‘the dance floor.’ There are half a dozen couples dancing right now, but he knows that once the band gets going (yes, Tony hired a live band. No, Bucky does not know why.) there’ll be more. When he looks up from the floor (yes, he was looking at the floor, because he was walking and didn’t want to trip) she’s looking unsure and more than a little nervous._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“What’s up, Sun?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He can see her face softening at the familiar nickname and congratulates himself on inadvertently stumbling across a good way to calm her down._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Nothing,” she lies unconvincingly, and he shakes his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Nuh-uh. That isn’t gonna fly with me, sweetheart.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________She raises an eyebrow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Sweetheart?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Good try,” he says, shaking his head at her stubbornness. “Tell me what’s wrong.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I’m not... it’s kind of embarrassing...” she falters._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Embarrassing?” he scoffs. “I’ve seen you trying to do a front flip. You can’t embarrass yourself in front of me anymore.” She smacks his arm and he grins._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I did a _good _front flip!” she says defensively. “There was nothing to be embarrassed about from my front flip!”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He can remember several things to be embarrassed about – namely the fact that she ended up doing a face plant after the landing – but he’ll keep his peace for the greater good._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Yeah, yeah. What’s so embarrassing that you’re worried about it?” A sudden thought occurs to him. “You didn’t want to dance? You wanted to just sit and watch? We can do that. We can go back right now – Tony reserved us some seats in case any of us got tired or something – and we’ll find something to eat and it’ll – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You can’t help but smile at how adorably concerned Bucky is. He’s the sweetest person ever, and you’re almost tempted to accept his offer, go hide from the world in a corner and watch the dresses flash around. But he’s done so much for you, and you know how much he loves dancing. (You and he and Steve had many conversations about that very thing when you were on the _JARVIS _.) It’s hardly a sacrifice to do this one thing for him.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Stop talking,” you echo his words from earlier, and he immediately clamps his mouth shut, looking chastened, while his eyes twinkle in recognition of the fact that you quoted him verbatim. “I’m... look, my embarrassing thing is that I can’t dance, okay? I never learned.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Bucky looks extraordinarily relieved._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Why didn’t you just say so? That’s no problem, you goof.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You smack his arm again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Watch who you’re calling a goof!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He shrugs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Well, it’s true. And, Sunny, you didn’t have to worry. We can fix the fact that you can’t dance faster than it took you to tell me about it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You raise an eyebrow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Can we?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Are you doubting my abilities?” he asks. “I’m hurt.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Okay, now you’re the goof,” you tell him, smiling in spite of yourself. “Are we going to fix my problem or what?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Number one, I already told you that it’s not a problem,” Bucky says. “And number two...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He doesn’t say anything; he just grabs you by the waist and starts hopping along._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You feel very confused and disoriented for all of two seconds, and then you realize that there’s a pattern to what he’s doing. You clumsily place one hand on his shoulder, like you’re pretty sure that you’re supposed to do, and he takes your other hand in his, and before you know it you’re swirling right along with him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He beams at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“See? I told you it was easy! You’re a natural!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You grin back at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“This is kind of fun,” you offer, and he scoffs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“’Kind of?’ Woman, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He takes off again, and you mirror his movements, and he’s laughing and you’re laughing and all you can think is that you never want this to end._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Ever._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________But, of course, like all good things, it does. The band, which seemed to catch your and Bucky’s enthusiasm and played lots of fast and jazzy songs for a while, takes a little breather, and so do you and Bucky._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“That was fun,” he wheezes. (Both of you are considerably out of breath from all the exertion that dancing takes.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Just fun?” you tease him, and he laughs at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“If you’re not careful, you’re going to turn into a parrot,” he warns you, and when you raise a skeptical eyebrow at him he puts on his convincing face. “I’m serious! You’ve started repeating phrases that I say – that’s the first sign. Next, you’ll start turning colors, and then – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Oh, shut up,” Sam sasses him. The Falcon has an arm around Melinda’s waist and a smile plastered on his face, and it makes you happy to see how happy he is._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“We saw you dancing,” Melinda tells you as Bucky defends his parrot theory. “You guys look good together, Sun.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You roll your eyes, and she frowns._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I’m serious, girl! You’ve got to do something. You’re not going to have forever, you know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“What are you talking about?” Sharon worms her way into your circle of people, along with Steve. He smiles apologetically at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Hi, Sun. You look fantastic!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You blush._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Thanks, Steve. You don’t look bad yourself.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He doesn’t, either. Someone must have told him about Sharon’s dress, because he has a matching tie, and they make a very dapper couple._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Speaking of dapper, you see Jane and Thor, so you make excuses, hug Sharon, and dash over to say hello._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Hey, guys!” you greet them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Greetings, Lady Sun! You look divinely beautiful!” Thor booms, and Jane looks mortified._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Thor! What have I said about an inside voice?” she hisses at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He has the grace to look abashed, and she shakes her head. You watch the exchange, grinning._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Hi, (Y/N),” she says. “How are you and Bucky doing?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Good,” you say, smiling. “We were having a pretty great time dancing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“We saw,” Jane says, and she winks at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“And I still have not shown you the dance that my mother taught me,” Thor whines, tugging at her arm. “Come with me!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________She rolls her eyes and grins at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Duty calls. See you, Sunny!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You wave them off, laughing. You’re about to go in search of something to drink when a tap on your shoulder makes you jump._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You turn to see an apologetic-looking Bruce._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Sorry. I probably should have warned you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You shake your head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Not at all! It’s fine. How’s your evening going?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Pretty good,” he says, nodding at nothing in particular. “Pretty good. Natasha, uh, Natasha went to get some drinks, so she’ll probably be back soon.” There’s a moment of silence, and then he adds, “You look great, by the way, (Y/N).”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You beam at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Thanks, Bruce.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He smiles back at you, and is about to say something else when Nat appears, three drinks in hand. She hands one to Bruce and one to you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“You’re a wonder,” you say gratefully after taking a gulp, and she grins._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“You looked pretty tired. Dancing’s good stamina training, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You nod vigorously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I’m pretty sure that he could replace the high knees with some jazz, and I’d be just as tired by the end of it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________She’s about to say something, but then there’s a noise like a herd of elephants._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Okay, so maybe that’s an exaggeration. But Bucky, Sam, and Melinda are all adults. There’s no reason for them to be making that much noise as they walk._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Natasha! Good! We need some sanity,” Melinda laughs as she jogs to catch up with the boys. They’re still deep in discussion about parrots._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Geez._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You open your mouth to answer, but before you can say anything there’s a crashing sound above you and people start screaming as plaster begins to rain down around you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You would be worried, but you caught sight of the boots that are poking out of the newly opened hole, and they are very familiar._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“What the heck are you doing, Barton?” Bucky hollers up into the opening. There’s a scrambling sound and the boots disappear, only to be replaced by Clint’s grinning face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I’m spreading some holiday cheer!” he cries happily, reaching up and pulling out a plastic sprig of mistletoe._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You gape at it, feeling more confused and more concerned about Clint than you’ve ever been before._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“What are you talking about?” Bucky asks, looking as bewildered as you feel. “It’s not even close to any holiday.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Clint scoffs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Details, details. Besides, haven’t you heard of Christmas in July?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“It’s May, Clint,” you remind him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He waves your reminder away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Oh, shush. You’re dampening my spirits. You’re not supposed to be talking right now, anyway.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You try to figure out what he’s talking about, but before you can, Bucky buries his face in his hands and mumbles something._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“You jerk,” is what you get out of the muffled words, but it could very well have been something else._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Come on, Barnes,” Clint coaxes him. “It’s tradition!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“It’s not Christmas!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I don’t care! Just kiss her!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You, of course, have turned bright red from all of this discussion, and you’re strongly considering just walking away when there’s a gentle hand on your hip and soft lips on your cheek and your eyes close and you forget how to think._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________By the time you open your eyes, Bucky has made a getaway, Clint is grinning like an idiot, Melinda has an ‘I told you so’ smirk on her face, and Sam is high fiving the dust – covered archer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I can’t believe you did that!” you scold Clint, once you’ve recovered the capacity of breathing. He just laughs and holds the sprig over Sam and Melinda’s heads._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________They don’t need to be told twice, and you and Clint end up walking awkwardly away once it becomes clear that they’re not going to be separating anytime soon._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“You should be thanking me. You realize that, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You glare at Clint as you snag a few pretzels off of the side table that Tony set up for the kids._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Bucky is never going to talk to me again. You realize that, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“How are you so smart and yet so dumb?” Clint groans, throwing his head back and running his hands through his hair. When he looks back at you, his face has morphed into an expression of mingled fondness and frustration. “Sunshine, when that man kissed you he looked more terrified than I’ve ever seen him. He was scared you were going to think he’s a bad kisser. And it wasn’t even on the lips.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You shoot him a ‘get your mind back where it should be or I will murder you’ glare._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Anyway,” he continues hastily, “the point is that he is ridiculously smitten with you, he has been since he met you, and you better get your butt in gear or it’s going to be too late.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________It suddenly hits you like a train – a big, large, huge, freight train – that he’s right. They all are. You should get a friggin move on and go do something about your crush._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“You know what?” you say, and you’re so caught up in your epiphany that you don’t notice the look of terror that crosses Clint’s face. If you had, and if you’d asked, he’d have told you that he’s absolutely terrified that you’re going to smack him or something, because apparently when you get excited you sometimes also sound angry._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“What?” he asks tentatively, and you turn to look at him. (He notes, at this moment, with a sigh of relief, that there’s absolutely no anger in your eyes.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“You’re right,” you say, and he’s so dumbstruck that he accidentally walks into a passing waiter. When you’ve finished helping clean up champagne and caviar (you’re not sure why there’s caviar when Tony has ordered pizza for later. Maybe it was a classy Pepper touch to the madness that is this packed room.) You immediately start walking in the direction that you think Bucky took off in, but before you can go anywhere the lights dim and a spotlight lights up the stage, where, you suddenly notice, the band is no longer playing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Tony Stark is standing there, though, and you realize that he’s about to announce his and Pepper’s engagement._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Everyone’s having a good time, right?” he booms through the microphone that he’s holding, and there’s a deafening cacophony of agreement. He claps along and lets the crowd shriek out their happiness (and quite possibly drunkenness) for a little while before starting to speak again. “I am, too. And you know the reason that we’re all having such a good time?” The spotlight swings off to the side, illuminating Pepper, who looks more than a little intimidated at being lit up like that. “She is why!” Tony continues his speech. “That is the lovely Pepper Potts, who has planned this event and hired the caterers and, very basically, made this night possible.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________More cheers._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I have a bit of a surprise for all of you,” Tony says, beckoning Pepper to come up on the stage, “especially for you, reporters in the back that are pretending they aren’t here.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________There’s media coverage of pretty much every public move Tony makes. You learned this very quickly from Pepper._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Miss Potts here,” Tony says, wrapping an arm around her waist and making her blush, “has made me the happiest man in the world, and agreed to marry me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Well, that was sudden. You’d thought that, in true Tony style, he was going to build up to the big news a bit more. Apparently not._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Everyone else seems just as surprised as you are. There’s a few moments of stunned silence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________They don’t last long, though, because before long there’s an even _more _deafening cheer rising from the crowd. You can’t help but smile, and you add your own shout of happiness to the noise.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“That is all,” Tony bellows, struggling to be heard over the excitement. “Thank you for coming, and have a good rest of your evening.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________The lights go back up and the band makes its way back onto the stage._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Tony and Pepper are getting mobbed by keyed up people, and you’ve already said congratulations – multiple times – anyway, so you opt to keep away from the throng of people._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________You want to find Bucky, anyway. You’ve got some things you need to say._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________So you leave Clint to fend for himself among Tony’s disappointed fangirls and pick your way through the people towards the bar. You’re pretty sure that that’s where Bucky heads when he’s highly emotional at a party – at least, that’s the impression you got from Steve during a late-night conversation when he was feeling a little angsty._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________It’s not too hard to spot him – almost everybody’s over congratulating the soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Stark – and you make your way over with a smile. You’re almost there, and you’re planning on just calling to catch his attention, because you’re tired, when you realize that he’s not alone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Natasha’s over there with him, and you slow to a stop and get a very funny feeling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________It’s not that you’re worried that Bucky’s interested in her, and you’re _definitely _not worried about her being interested in him. You’ve seen the way she looks at Bruce, and, though you pretend you haven’t, you’ve seen the way that Bucky looks at you.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________It’s not that you’re intimidated by either of them, or worried that you’ll interrupt something. You know that both of them think of you as a close friend, and that they’ll accept you into their conversation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________It’s just that Natasha’s dress is so pretty, and she wears it so well, and she looks so dignified on those heels. It’s just that her hair is so perfect and her posture is so perfectly straight and her face is so perfectly straight and everything about her is just stupidly and perfectly perfect._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________It’s just that you’re _not _that perfect, and you’re _not _as pretty or as fit or as graceful as she is, and it suddenly occurs to you that Bucky deserves a lot more than you. Does he really even like you that much, anyway? How could he even _look _at you next to women like Natasha and Sharon and Pepper, women that have worked hard and made a life for themselves and not lived in alleys for the last however many years?_______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________And that’s why you decide to just let them finish their conversation, and you turn away. Your eyes are stinging a little, and it’s so warm in here. You suddenly really want to be on the _JARVIS _, with the wind blowing and the waves crashing and only the muffled sound of Tony’s music alerting you to the fact that there’s anybody else that even lives on the planet.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________So when you bump into Bruce, who is on his way to tell Natasha that the tea she requested is ready, you direct him to his girl and you also inform him that you’re going to be stepping outside for a minute._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Good plan,” he says, looking sympathetic. “I’d come with if I could, but...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“It’s fine,” you say, feeling guilty that you didn’t think of how overwhelmed _he _must be right now.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________Poor guy. It can’t be easy to dislike large crowds and yet live in a situation where there’s no escape from them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Okay,” he says. You turn to go, but before you do he grabs your arm._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Hey, (Y/N),” he says. You turn back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Yeah?” you ask._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________He has the little awkward smile that he wears when he’s saying something that makes him feel uncomfortable but that he feels needs to be said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“You’re really great. We... you’re really, really great. You know that, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________Your eyes sting even harder, and you’re pretty sure that by this point there’s a tear that’s escaped and is making its way down your cheek._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Thanks, Bruce.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________He grins lopsidedly at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Anytime, Sun. Oh, and don’t forget – there’s going to be cake.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Ooh. Duly noted.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________He gives you a little wave and starts pushing through the people to get to Natasha, and you actually leave the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________It’s a little more difficult to find your way to the main floor, but you manage it, and you make your way outside with a sense of relief. The air isn’t so dense down here, and you close your eyes to feel the slight breeze on your face. Hey, downtown New York isn’t exactly the same as your ship, but it’s much better than the room you were just in. And, besides –_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________Before you can think any further, there’s a hand over your mouth and a knife at your throat and someone’s tying your hands behind your back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“You make a noise, you die, understand?” a harsh voice whispers, and you nod, terrified. “Good,” says the voice, and the hand comes off of your mouth and the knife is taken away from your throat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________You’re about to breathe a sigh of relief when something very hard hits the back of your head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________Your world goes black._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. AM. SO. SORRY.  
> I hate cliffhangers. I couldn't resist. I am so sorry.  
> Let me know what you thought! I would really love to hear from you!  
> Love to you all, and I am genuinely sorry.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pain. Sad. Sorry.

Bucky takes another shot, swearing to himself that it will be his last. Though there’s no real need to stop; it’s not like he can actually get drunk. He only drinks because he likes the burn of the alcohol on his tongue. Be that as it may, however, he _needs _to go find (Y/N). He keeps replaying the kiss in his mind for inspiration, and every time it just terrifies him more.__

__What if she’s totally disgusted with him? What if she doesn’t want to see him anymore? What if he was so out of line that they’ll never be able to be friends again?_ _

__Just as he’s wallowing in his doubt, the man of the hour strides up to the bar and orders a vodka martini with three olives._ _

__“Hey, Bucks,” Tony greets him, slurring only slightly. Bucky’s impressed. If he didn’t have the serum in his system, he’d never be able to hold the amount of liquor Tony’s been chugging all night and still be able to put a sentence together._ _

__“Hi,” Bucky says quietly. “Congratulations. Again.”_ _

__Tony grins broadly._ _

__“Thanks, Frosty! You’re too kind! And maybe...” The grin fades into a frown. “Where’s Sunny?”_ _

__Bucky buries his face in his hands and groans._ _

__“UGH.”_ _

__Tony looks more concerned than he was when he thought that his barbeque tongs were lost forever to the ocean. (It’s a long story.)_ _

__“What? You didn’t get into a spat, did you?” When Bucky has no immediate response Tony collapses onto the stool beside him. “How could you let this happen, Barnes? What did she say? It’s not all over, is it? Say it isn’t so!”_ _

__“Calm down,” Bucky says gruffly._ _

__“Calm down?” Tony cries. “CALM DOWN? My favorite couple isn’t a couple anymore – ”_ _

__“To be fair, we were never a couple in the first place,” Bucky interjects._ _

__“ – and you expect me to stay calm?” Tony continues, ignoring the interruption._ _

__“Actually, we didn’t fight,” Bucky says mildly, and Tony lets out an exaggerated sigh of relief._ _

__“Oh, thank the merciful heavens. So what happened? Why are you sitting here instead of over – Where is she, anyway?”_ _

__Those four words are the beginning of the most nightmarish night of Bucky’s life – and he’s had some pretty nightmarish moments to compare this one to._ _

__It doesn’t immediately alarm him, the fact that he can’t see her. He finishes explaining to Tony about the kiss (“FINALLY!”) and his immediate getaway (“You idiot!”) and his reluctance to go find her because of awkwardness and embarrassment._ _

__Tony responds with a volley of unhappy words and many encouragements about going and finding her._ _

__“She’s as into you as you are into her,” he says. “If you just go find her, she’ll probably tell you that she’s loved you forever and that she wants to marry you and – ”_ _

__Okay. Tony’s drunkness is starting to show its ugly face. It’s time to move on._ _

__“Thanks, Stark,” he deadpans. “That’s great advice.”_ _

__Tony waves an arm around in a gesture of generosity._ _

__“Anything for you, Bucky boy!” he says, downing Pepper’s drink as it gets handed to him and then choking on the olives._ _

__Bucky shakes his head and walks away, scanning the crowd for a head of (Y/N) hair and a dazzling smile._ _

__It doesn’t even alarm him _now _, as he’s wandering the room and searching in vain for his favorite girl, that he can’t find her.___ _

____In fact, it’s not until he’s asked every one of his friends (except Bruce, who is in the washroom) if they know where she is that he starts to worry. The fact that none of them have seen her in the last ten minutes bothers him immensely. He happens to know that while she loves people, she also has a bit of a shy streak. In a big gathering like this, she’d stick close to someone she knows._ _ _ _

____But she hasn’t, as far as he knows, and that bothers him. A lot._ _ _ _

____“Maybe she found a guy,” Jane suggests. She’s totally smashed – Bucky can smell the alcohol on her breath, and she’s swaying more than a little as she stands there and talks to him. Thor is an irresponsible boyfriend._ _ _ _

____Then again, he reasons, Asgardian girls can probably hold a lot more than this tiny lightweight scientist can. Thor probably needs some instruction on that front, and he makes a mental note to mention it to the demigod next time he sees him._ _ _ _

____The thought of Sunny going home with anyone but him is a very unwelcome thought, and he has a moment of very intense jealousy against someone who may or may not exist._ _ _ _

____That moment is shattered by Bruce’s voice._ _ _ _

____“You okay?”_ _ _ _

____Bucky rubs his face and sighs._ _ _ _

____“I can’t find Sun anywhere, and Jane is saying that maybe she went home with somebody, and I really don’t like the idea of – ”_ _ _ _

____“You can’t find her?” Bruce sounds almost as worried as he is, and Bucky is almost glad to find someone else that is actually concerned._ _ _ _

____“No! And it’s not like she’d just leave without telling someone – ”_ _ _ _

____“She did tell someone,” Bruce says faintly. “She told me.”_ _ _ _

____“What? That she was going to bed?” Bucky is relieved to hear that someone knows her whereabouts._ _ _ _

____“No,” Bruce says, and he looks more uneasy than Bucky’s seen him in a while. “That she was going to step outside, but she would be right back.”_ _ _ _

____Bucky stares at the doctor._ _ _ _

____“When?” he demands after a second of silence. “What time was this?”_ _ _ _

____“It was almost fifteen minutes ago, Bucky,” Bruce says. He looks like he feels sick._ _ _ _

____No. No. Nonono. Sunny doesn’t break her word. If she said she was going to be back in a minute, she was going to be back in a minute. Something’s happened._ _ _ _

____Without a word, Bucky turns and shoves his way through the throng of people to the door. He takes the steps down two at a time, praying that when he steps outside of the Tower she’ll be right there, staring dreamily up at the stars and apologetic about losing track of the time._ _ _ _

____She’s not. And that moment, right there, is when the nightmare _really _begins, and a panic like Bucky has never known settles in.___ _ _ _

______Bucky dashes out of the Tower, and she’s nowhere in sight. He circles the perimeter, pleading silently to catch a glimpse of a silver dress and sparkly eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______He doesn’t._ _ _ _ _ _

______He takes the stairs back up four at a time, and when he bursts back into the party room Bruce has gathered everyone together. Tony looks much more sober._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Anything?” Steve asks, his face tight._ _ _ _ _ _

______Bucky wordlessly shakes his head, feeling faint._ _ _ _ _ _

______There’s a moment of silence, and everyone stares at each other in horror, their minds filling in the blanks in this scenario._ _ _ _ _ _

______Sunny, outside, alone..._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Have you checked inside?” Pepper asks, breaking the panicked silence. “Maybe...”_ _ _ _ _ _

______But Tony is already calling for FRIDAY to check through the building, check all of the rooms, activate all of the sensors._ _ _ _ _ _

______By this point most of the guests have figured out that something is going awry, and are awkwardly making their way out of the room. Tony strides forward through the sea of people, muttering something about finding his drones that will search out heat signatures, and everyone watches him, feeling so helpless that it’s painful._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Bucky is beyond panicked at this point. It’s been almost three hours since they first realized that Sunny is missing, and they haven’t found any trace of her. They’ve done a thorough job of searching through every single room in the Tower (checking under beds and in closets, thorough), Tony has flown over the entire city, checking for heat signatures that match Sun’s, Steve has personally called the police station, and Bucky has, literally, worn a hole in the carpet._ _ _ _ _ _

______He’s crying, he’s hyperventilating, he’s _terrified _, and he doesn’t care who sees it. He can’t even believe that this is happening. Weren’t they just dancing a minute ago? It can’t be that long ago that he was kissing her cheek and then scampering off. He feels sick to his stomach and he has a stress headache.___ _ _ _ _ _

________Everyone’s nearly as worried about him as they are about her – they’ve never seen him like this, and it’s very concerning. Every time Steve tries to stop his pacing with a hand on his shoulder or Sam tries to strike up a conversation or Clint tries to murmur words of comfort, he shrugs them off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Why are they talking to him and not working on getting her back? (Y/N)’s out there, taken and alone, and he can’t stand the thought of any energy that could be spent on her wasted on him. Eventually he somehow finds a way to express this to Steve, and Steve, with a frown, agrees to leave him alone and return to the search._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It goes on like this for hours. They’ve done everything they can think of. They’ve notified Fury (Tony, surprisingly, was the one that firmly declared that the former director be called upon), all the members of the team that are capable of flying have done multiple sweeps of the city, and everyone is devastated._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Pepper insists that they all take a break and eat something (“You won’t be any use to her if you can’t function properly.”) and even though no one has any appetite, most of the crew have gathered in one of the living areas to force down some pizza. (Laura and Scott left to put their kids to bed ages ago. Sam walked Melinda home not long after. She fought him every step of the way, but he reminded her that she could do absolutely nothing and promised to wake her should they find their missing friend. Jane was returned to her room by Thor, with the same argument. Bucky fought with tooth and nail, pleading to be allowed to stay in the communications center, but Natasha dragged him in with a fierce expression on her face.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Everyone’s been anxiously scurrying about for hours, using every scrap of influence they have to find their girl, and as soon as they sit down and take a bite of food they realize just how tired they are._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________That doesn’t mean that they stop worrying, however. Wanda is in tears, and Pepper, Sam, and Clint are not far behind. Tony looks completely shattered. Steve is ready to hurt somebody, judging by the anger written on his face. Natasha, true to character, is totally unreadable, but there’s something in her eyes that makes everyone take a step back. Bruce is distraught, with misery and guilt written all over his features. (They’ve told him repeatedly that it’s not his fault that she’s gone, but he cannot be comforted.) Thor is looking so angry that everyone keeps their distance – they’ve only ever seen him this livid when he’s fighting._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And Bucky... Bucky is more shattered and angry and upset than all of them put together. This has been a night from hell. He’s raced around the Tower, calling her name, until his legs hurt and his throat is raw. He’s called TV stations and radio stations and newspapers, describing her down to the last detail and spelling her name until he’s in tears._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There’s no real reason for him to be awake anymore – he has no contacts, nothing that he can do to find her any faster – but it hasn’t even crossed anyone’s mind that he should go to bed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________At the moment he’s in the corner, clutching a cup of (Y/N)’s favorite tea with a completely broken expression._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It’s a very disheartened group that is gathered around the coffee table – with good reason. But silence always ends up being broken, and this time it’s broken by Tony. (Who else?)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You know what’s really messed up?” he asks, and even though only Pepper and Wanda turn to look at him everyone is listening. “The fact that if Miss Sunshine could see us, she’d be totally furious and tell us to stop freaking out and start celebrating again.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Everyone knows it’s true, and despite the horrendous situation all of them crack a smile or let out a chuckle – including Bucky. Everyone is completely astonished by this, and they all swivel their heads to stare at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He’s oblivious to the attention._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah,” he says softly, “when she gets back and hears about this, she’s going to feel so bad for messing up Tony and Pepper’s engagement party. She’ll apologize, like, a million times.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There are some glances exchanged – Bucky said ‘when she gets back,’ not ‘if,’ and everyone’s concerned that he’s being too optimistic. They’ve been at this for hours, and they haven’t found a single shred of evidence of her whereabouts. But nobody’s going to say that to Bucky, of course. Tony continues in the lighthearted vein that he’s started._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Well,” he says, setting down his coffee and picking up his phone, “the sooner we find her, the sooner we can guilt trip her. Let’s do this.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a short chapter, and we pretty much stay in the same place, but I do have big news! I've pretty well outlined the rest of the story, and I've determined how many chapters there are going to be.  
> It was going to follow this storyline from the beginning, but only recently have I actually put some effort into figuring out what exactly is going to happen.  
> I can't wait to see what you guys think!  
> Also, and I know that this is a lousy excuse, but school has started and it's crazy and updates will probably be a bit sporadic.  
> I upped the rating to T, just because I decided that kidnapping and whatnot should probably have a bit of a warning.  
> ANYWAY.  
> Enjoy!

“Dinner time!”

You ignore the voice from the other side of the bars and stay huddled in the corner with the thin and torn blanket that they gave you.

It’s been such a horrible week that you can’t even remember if it’s been an actual week or not. It might have been less than seven days – but then, it might possibly have been more. 

Either way, this is a complete and total nightmare, and at this point you’re begging with anything that will listen to you to let Bucky hurry up and rescue you and let you wake up.

As of yet, it’s had no effect on the cosmic forces, because your Soldier still isn’t here.

“Aren’t you coming?” the voice calls again, and this time you muster up enough energy to return a scratchy, “No.”

Your voice is pretty much gone by now. You’ve spent hours pleading, sobbing, screaming, shouting, imploring, and praying, to the point that you can’t really talk properly any more. 

Thankfully, the guard doesn’t prolong the encounter. He shrugs and walks away to return your portion of the chunky stew to the pot.

You’ve spent a lot of time straining your ears to listen to the conversation of your captors, and you’ve picked up on quite a few interesting things – though only two really interest you.

For one, they’re remnants of HYDRA, and they want their Winter Soldier back. They rehearse the trigger words and go over all of his weakness and otherwise plot out his capture, and the more they talk about it the more you vow that when you break out of this cell you’re going to find a gun and put an end to every last one of them. (No, you don’t know how to shoot. But how hard can it be?) Anyway, putting your personal feelings on this subject aside, they’ve kidnapped you because they think that Bucky is so into you that he’ll launch a rescue mission and come swooping in, and when he swoops in they’ll swoop down and trigger him and retake him as a pawn for themselves.

You take great satisfaction in the fact that Bucky has put in hundreds of hours of painfully thorough work and the trigger words will no longer work. HYDRA is in for a nasty surprise, and you can’t wait to witness it. (Not to mention get out of here.)

That brings you to your second point – they have no personal vendetta against you. You’re just a tool. They know where Bucky is, so they don’t need a location, and they know how to find out where he’s going, and they have no reason to get any information out of you.

So, even though you’re kidnapped and held prisoner, it could be a heck of a lot worse. As it is, you’ve got it pretty good – at least as far as prison cells go, anyway. You’re trying to look on the bright side. You’ve got a roof over your head, you have a bed (and a blanket), you get fed, and you don’t get tortured. 

You’re basically living the prisoner’s dream.

This does _not _mean, however, that you want to stay in this abandoned factory forever, however, so you’ve been working on a plan to escape. It involves somehow obtaining some rope, and it also involves the metal leg of your cot.__

__It’s not completely put together, but you should be able to get there._ _

__For now, though, you’re tired. Being incarcerated is somehow exhausting as it is, and lately you’ve taken to doing the exercises that Bucky showed you to do on your own. It’s invigorating, feeling your blood start pumping and your muscles warming up, and lately you’ve found yourself doing more and more of it._ _

__On second thought, you probably should have had some dinner when it was offered to you, but you’re not starving. You’ll make it until morning._ _

__And in the meantime, you’ll pass the hours like you always do – thinking about your superhero family._ _

__Are they worried? They don’t think that you ran away, do they? Of course they don’t; all your stuff is still in your room. Speaking of, you are more than a little mad about the fact that your dress – the dress that you’d only worn once – is so tattered that your captors have given you a completely new set of clothes._ _

__Not cool, man. Not cool._ _

__But dresses are the last thing on your mind, honestly._ _

__What _is _on your mind, then?___ _

____Here’s the list – in order._ _ _ _

____Number one: Get the heck out of here, by any means necessary._ _ _ _

____Number two: Go find Bucky._ _ _ _

____Number three: Find some way to make him kiss you again._ _ _ _

____Because holy cow was that peck on the cheek amazing. And, yes, it was only that – a little quick innocent kiss. But it still made your heart pound and your skin heat up and you want nothing more than to tell him so; to tell him that you like him – tell him that you _love _him.___ _ _ _

______But, of course, as already established, none of that will be possible until you get out of this stupid cell._ _ _ _ _ _

______And, as also already established, you won’t get out of this stupid cell until your body is both strong and rested and your plan is completely foolproof. So you lay back on your lumpy pillow, and you close your eyes, and you wish that Bucky was there beside you._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Bucky stares at the ceiling, wishing with all his heart that he knew that (Y/N) was safely in the next room – or, heck, safely beside him. He misses her so much. It’s been eight days since she disappeared, and the searching has gradually slowed down to a crawl. They’re still on the lookout, to be sure, but they’re no longer optimistic – or energetic. Somehow, some way, life has resumed, even without her, for most of them._ _ _ _ _ _

______For Bucky, however, it’s still stopped. He can’t focus on anything anymore. He doesn’t talk much, he doesn’t smile much, and he doesn’t really laugh anymore. Steve gives him anxious and concerned glances often – even more than he did when Bucky was recovering from cryo. Being the mothered instead of the motherer is not fun (read: it’s absolutely horrible and he hates it) but what’s worse is that he actually needs it._ _ _ _ _ _

______He finds himself not wanting to eat... or sleep... or do anything at all. It feels so pointless without Sunny there to do it with him. Steve gives him compassionate looks, and Sam tries to draw him into conversation, and Clint not-so-subtly lets him know that the archer will always be there should the Soldier need anything, and Bucky just shakes his head at them, hating the disappointment that he is, and keeps his head down._ _ _ _ _ _

______Scott, the joker, offers him a bottle of beer and tries to sympathize, but Bucky finishes the beer faster than Scott can finish a sentence, and makes it very clear that he’s not interested in what the Ant-Man has to say._ _ _ _ _ _

______Thor doesn’t even try to talk, just hands him a flask of Asgardian mead and lets him drink his sorrows away._ _ _ _ _ _

______(The god of thunder gets a very stern telling off the next day, from a very irate female astronomer.)_ _ _ _ _ _

______Tony himself knocks on his bedroom door one day, two glasses filled with Scotch in hand and a – there’s no other way to say it – confident look on his face. Bucky can tell that the billionaire thinks he’ll be able to pull him out of his shell._ _ _ _ _ _

______Ha. No._ _ _ _ _ _

______Even Bruce approaches him one day, glasses askew and a nervous look in his eyes. Bucky’s a little gentler this time, because the poor man looks terrified, but he still doesn’t let the doctor stay for more than twenty minutes._ _ _ _ _ _

______Laura tries, and Pepper tries, and Sharon tries to get him to talk, to cry, to respond, to do _anything _, but they have about as much success as the men do.___ _ _ _ _ _

________And then there’s a very firm knock on his door, and he opens it to find an expressionless Natasha. Expressionless, that is, except for the fire burning behind her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She doesn’t wait for him to invite her in, just strides in like she owns the place and turns around to face him once she’s well inside the room, arms crossed and legs firmly planted on the ground._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She is not happy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What are you doing, Barnes?” she asks, and there’s steel in her voice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He is not getting rid of her without a fight._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Luckily, he’s been frustrated and fed up and angry for a very long time – eight days, to be precise – and he’s prepared to give as good as he gets._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“She’s gone, Romanoff,” he spits. “She’s _gone _. She’s dead by now, more likely than -”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He doesn’t see her fist coming until his nose crunches loudly. That shuts him up, and he stares at her in a mixture of shock and disbelief as blood drips onto his carpet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Don’t you dare try that,” she hisses, seething with fury. “Don’t think that you’ll get any pity from me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I don’t want _pity _,” he throws back, almost as angry as she is. “What the **** is wrong with you, Nat? You don’t miss her, too?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________This time it’s his eye that takes the fall, and as he’s clutching at his bleeding face and spewing curses she grabs him by the hair and forces his eyes up to look at her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Shut. Up.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Her tone is clipped and commander-like, all traces of emotion gone, and Bucky is beyond astonished to realize that he’s almost missed this. The getting beaten up and then lectured. It’s like since he’s recovered he can’t focus as well without the pain. Strange._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Listen to me, and listen very carefully, because I’m only going to say this once, and then you can drown yourself in your sorrows for all I care.” The fact that she’s even in here right now says otherwise, but he holds his peace. “You’re hurting yourself, and you’re hurting everyone around you, and that’s not okay for the team. You miss her. Of course you do. You miss her like you never thought you could miss anyone, and it hurts, but what you’re not seeing is that we all miss her, too.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She releases him and lets him stagger into an upright position, handing him a KIeenex from the box on his bedside table, and she sighs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“And what makes it worse is that we didn’t just lose her. We’re losing you, too. Cooper and Lila won’t stop asking about you, and Cassie is more quiet than I’ve ever seen her. We need you, Bucky.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The use of his nickname makes him look up and meet her eyes, and the pure turmoil that’s storming behind her bright eyes takes him aback._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Stop pushing people away. It’s not going to do you, or her, any good. You know this.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I know,” he agrees, “but it’s...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He trails off as it suddenly occurs to him that she’s someone who has, possibly, been through more than him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Possibly. It’s debatable._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“It’s hard?” she finishes his sentence. “Dang right it is. But you’ve done harder, and you will _do _harder. This is just a few steps to the living room. You’re the Winter Soldier. This is easy.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“No,” he says, surprising her. “I’m not.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Not what?” she asks softly, searching his face. He knows that she knows what he’s going to say, because he’s trained to pick up on these things, and she knows that he knows, because she’s also trained, and for a minute the two assassins stare at each other, knowing that it’s pointless for Bucky to say what they both know he will._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________But he says it anyway._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I’m not the Winter Soldier,” he says, and it’s almost like a weight lifts off his back as he admits it. “I’m not the assassin with so many kills that I can’t count them. I’m just...” he trails off, and he sighs, and he finishes what he was going to say. “I’m just a kid from Brooklyn, Nat. I’m nothing special, just a guy that has been so messed up that he’s unsavable now. I don’t have anything to offer anyone. I’m just...” he trails off, and he realizes how true it is. “I’m just Bucky.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________For a moment there’s a silence, one that’s charged with swirling emotions that scare Bucky with their intensity. Natasha looks steadily at him, and he looks steadily at her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________And then she smiles, and it’s such a wide and genuine smile that it completely transforms her face. Bucky’s never seen her smile that broadly – he almost doesn’t recognize her. But when she speaks, her voice is steady, and shows none of the joy that is radiating off her face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I’ve been waiting for you to say that since I met you,” she says, and then she turns and leaves the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Bucky sits down, feeling like he’s been run over by a truck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________That was a lot of soul-baring for one day._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________But now that it’s over, he feels better, and the expression of pure and utter happiness and satisfaction that he saw on Nat’s face makes him feel... different._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He knows that he’s disappointed all of them, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. He can leave the room that he’s languished in for a week and go watch a movie with Steve, and practice the secret handshake with Sam, and have that talk with Clint, and hand a beer to Scott, and have a chuckle with Thor over how spastic he is when he’s drunk, and let Tony drone on about the new suit he’s creating, and bite back his pride and apologize to Bruce (and Laura, and Pepper, and Sharon), and tell Cooper about the model airplane that he thought would be fun to build, and have a tea party with Lila. And in between all of these, he and Natasha will exchange quick glances, and her eyes will sparkle._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He can change, and he can make all of them happy, and when (Y/N) gets back she’ll be even happier than all of them put together to see that he’s made an effort. She’ll be so proud, and he’ll be so pleased to have made her so proud._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He leaves his door open. The room could use a little airing out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love to you all!  
> <3


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys. This chapter is horrible, there’s no sidestepping it, and I have no excuse except that I’m really, really bad at writing action. I also have no idea what would even happen in this situation, and I didn’t do the research that I should have because I’m a) busy as heck and b) lazy as heck, so I’m truly sorry.  
> That being said, I love you all, and hope with all my heart that you can somehow ENJOY!!! :)

Days pass, and you spend hours doing pushups and other exercises that really suck while you’re doing them but which quickly strengthen your muscles until you feel fairly sure that you’re ready to attempt an escape. 

You have your rope. The soldier that stands guard near your door the most often is not the brightest, and you somehow managed to spin a story about tying knots being a hobby of yours, and he somehow believed it and willingly handed over a good two feet of cord.

You were very proud of yourself, and made a mental note to tell Natasha about this as soon as you see her again.

The metal leg of the cot, too, has been unscrewed and is ready for action.

All that remains is to wait for the guy to bring your supper, and you’ve gotten very good at waiting.

Sure enough, you’ve only just begun to daydream about Bucky’s kiss on your cheek (though it is for the thousandth time) when he calls for you.

“Dinner’s ready!”

“I can’t come get it.” You huddle in your blankets for dramatic effects, rasping the words so badly that you almost fool yourself into thinking that you’re sick.

As previously mentioned, your guard was not chosen for his brain, and he unlocks the door and brings your plate to you.

“You sound really sick,” he sympathizes, and you feel almost guilty for earning his trust and getting to the point where he’s actually kind of fond of you, when all along you knew that this was going to be the end.

Almost, but not quite.

Before he even knows what’s happening, you’ve jumped up, and, using a move that you got from Natasha, you bring the rope over his head and pull it tight against his throat, covering his mouth with your other hand so that he can’t make any noise as he loses consciousness.

You are most definitely not a trained assassin, and you don’t want to take any risks.

When he drops senseless to the ground, you tuck the rope into one of the belt loops of the too-big trousers that they gave you, pick up the cot leg, and leave the cell.

It’s nice to stretch your legs further than the confines of your containment would let you, but you can’t lie, even to yourself – it’s not like you’ve been locked up for _that _long. You kind of thought that there would be a moment where you felt free and it would be very exciting, but it turns out that it’s just very satisfying to know that you nailed the Natasha move.__

__You make a mental note to tell her of your success next time you see her._ _

__The next guard you come across never even knows that you’re there; your cot leg has knocked him out before he can hear your less than graceful footsteps._ _

__(You can do some Natasha moves, but the noiseless walk is one that you’re pretty sure you’re never going to master.)_ _

__Rejoicing (as quietly as you can) in your success, you race through the halls with your pulse pounding in your ears. If you ever thought that you’d had an adrenaline rush before now, you were very wrong. It feels almost like a game of hide-and-seek, except the stakes are much higher. And you have the very big disadvantage of having absolutely no idea of what the layout of the place is._ _

__You’re fairly positive that it’s an abandoned factory of some sort, judging by all the ancient machinery and dusty tools lying around. You’re not sure what, exactly, was manufactured here, and you’re equally sure that you don’t want to find out. It doesn’t seem likely that an efficient company would have holding cells for no reason._ _

__You shiver at the thought, and quicken your pace until you’re almost running. It’s like an endless labyrinth of walls and halls and corners, and it’s a little eerie that you’ve only come across two guards and that you’ve been able to knock both of them out easily._ _

__But, hey, you’re not going to turn up your nose at such luck, so you continue your dangerous exploration and try to figure out what the pattern of the turns is._ _

__Thirty minutes later, you’re feeling so pleased with yourself that you can’t stop smiling. You managed to figure out that if you turned every corner, and even if you kept going straight, you’d end up going in a circle, but if you turn every second corner on the left, you keep going in a straight direction._ _

__The layout of this place is _so _weird. Whoever made the blueprints needs to be tested for sadism or something.___ _

____However, in addition to the pleased feeling, there’s a growing sense of urgency, because you _did _just knock out three guys, and once your captors figure out that you’re missing they’re bound to come after you. And you’re pretty sure that it’s a given that that situation would not be a nice one.___ _ _ _

______So you don’t stop and you don’t look back, and within an hour of breaking out of your cell you’ve made it to the door that leads to the outside, and you are very delighted with yourself and your spy skills, and you also want to get out of here._ _ _ _ _ _

______So you turn the knob and open the door. Makes sense, right?_ _ _ _ _ _

______Except you didn’t think, and almost before the door has swung open the main lights shut off and little red flashing lights come on and an alarm starts blaring and you cannot believe that this is happening._ _ _ _ _ _

______But the door is open and you can see daylight, and without a second thought you dash out into the open air._ _ _ _ _ _

______You’re in a parking lot, of sorts, and if you can make it across the dry, cracked pavement to the gate, you’ll be at a city street. You can see pedestrians walking by and hear the honking of frustrated drivers, and you’re almost there._ _ _ _ _ _

______You don’t think, you just run, and you’re halfway over the fence when a pistol appears out of nowhere and is pressed against the side of your face._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” the soldier says haughtily, because he knows that you’re not going to argue with the persuasion that he’s holding in his hand._ _ _ _ _ _

______Or so he thinks._ _ _ _ _ _

______But you’ve been taken away from your friends, and you’re desperate, and you don’t climb meekly back down._ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s a good thing you’re _not _me, then,” you observe, and jump the remaining distance down to the opposite side of the fence.___ _ _ _ _ _

________Freedom!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But the luxury of freedom is short-lived as a dozen other soldiers burst out of the gate a few feet behind you and start charging in your direction._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And, for the third time today, you don’t think. You just run._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Down the sidewalk, past passerby, until your breaths come short and fast and your legs tremble. You trip and fall, and your hands somehow manage to slice themselves open on some broken glass, but you pick yourself up and rush on._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And you almost think that you’re going to make it, until you dart around a corner and run into a wall-like chest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You thought you’d get away?” the guy who seems to be the leader of the wanna-be HYDRA team (let’s be honest, the real HYDRA would never be so incompetent as to let you get away, even if they _have _recaptured you now) smirks at you.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Two of his men take your arms, and you use your self-defense skills, leaving them with bleeding noses._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________What ensues is not enjoyable, for you or for the men you’re fighting. You, impressively, hold your own against the trained soldiers, and man after man stumbles back, clutching at whatever part of his anatomy you bit, scratched, punched, or kicked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________In the end, though, it only takes one smarter-than-the-rest guy to twist your arms behind your back and pin you down, and you sense that it’s futile to struggle when the cold metal of a pair of handcuffs snaps around your wrist. You finally stop fighting back and focus on getting air back into your screaming lungs, feeling blood dripping down your face from various places._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Mr. Leader HYDRA Guy grabs you by the hair and snaps your head back, forcing you to look at him. It hurts, and it pulls, but you stay quiet, somehow managing to keep from wincing (Natasha really would be proud of you today)._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Trying to escape is futile,” he jeers. “I don’t understand why you would try in the first place. We gave you food and shelter and no whippings, which is more than any other prisoner could say. You’d better not try anything like this again, or that will all end.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________And he shoves you aside as he stands up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It’s a rude awakening, the realization that they’re not the bumbling idiots they seem to be. And the whipping... you thought that you could hear groans, from somewhere far away, but you’d attributed it to your imagination. It’s not nice to be told that they’re very real._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It’s also not nice to be marched back along corridor after corridor (you were passed out last time you came through here – they kept you sedated for the entire trip from Stark Tower), and you manage to identify where all the aches and pains are coming from._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You have: one broken (or very badly sprained) nose, one black (or very badly bruised) eye, two slashed hands, two scraped knees, one skinned cheek, and many bruises all over your body._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It’s not a good situation, and it’s made worse by the fact that you were almost there. You almost made it. You almost escaped._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________As they throw you back in your cell and lock the door behind you, you vow that you will get out of here, no matter what it takes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________And it will most definitely take some planning, so you hunker down in your now cotless room and take the nail that you found on the ground out of your pocket to start scratching designs on the wall. It’s time to strategize._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, everybody. Thank you so, so much for sticking with me this far.  
> I struggle with switching up the scenery, as you've no doubt noticed, so it takes me many, many chapters to get anywhere. This update is ample proof of that.  
> HOWEVER, that doesn't mean that I don't hope you'll enjoy it!  
> All my love!

Bucky is currently doing exactly the same thing he’s been doing for the last three days. It’s starting to wear him down, and he knows that he should stop soon, but he can’t seem to help himself.

He’s trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube.

When the little puzzle first started circulating the Tower, Tony pounced on it right away, predicting that he’d be able to finish it in under a minute.

Two hours later he was still struggling, and Pepper rolled her eyes, snatched it away from him, and had all the colors separated in forty-five seconds flat.

After that it turned into a bit of a competition; ‘who can beat Pepper?’

And then, when the answer to that was ‘Bruce’ (he finished it in forty-three seconds) it turned into ‘who can beat Bruce?’

As of yet, the answer to that is ‘no one,’ but that isn’t stopping Bucky from trying.

He and Cooper trade off every time they get it. The young Barton is surprisingly good at it – he gets it faster than Bucky every time. Which, Bucky jokes, is absolutely horrible, and it has to change. They’re on their fifth round of matching up all the colors and their stomachs hurt from laughing when Steve enters the room, a somber expression on his face.

Bucky has dropped the cube and is on his feet faster than Cooper can blink.

“Any news?” he asks, before Steve can say anything.

The look on his friend’s face is impossible to decipher – or that might just be Bucky’s frantic mind going into overdrive. It feels like all the worry and panic and frustration that he’s shoved aside over the last couple of days are flooding back into his mind, and it’s overwhelming. 

In the midst of all the craziness that’s going on in his mind, Steve nods, and Bucky feels his heart stop beating.

“You’re serious?” he breathes. He doesn’t even know what the news is but he can feel himself clinging to it like a lifeline.

Steve casts a significant glance at Cooper and Bucky forces himself to turn to the boy instead of screaming at his friend to tell him the news _right now _.__

__“Is it okay if I, um...”_ _

__He’s having trouble thinking, but thankfully Cooper is a bright kid. He grins and says, “It’s fine. Go get your girl.”_ _

__Before Bucky can think to ask him where on earth he came up with the idea that (Y/N) is ‘his girl’ (and, to be honest, he’s pretty sure that he knows where Cooper heard that, anyway), his Rubik’s Cube buddy is scampering off with a grin. Bucky turns to see Steve mirroring Cooper’s grin, and he huffs impatiently. Steve jerks himself back down to earth and clears his throat._ _

__“Yeah. We’ve got news.”_ _

__

__When they walk into Tony’s ‘headquarters’ (i.e. the place where he keeps all his ‘top secret’ devices) everyone is staring at a screen and talking all at once. The conversation dies down once they see Bucky, though, and he feels a little intimidated by that._ _

__“What?” he asks Tony, hoping harder than he’s ever hoped for anything before that Sunny’s still all right._ _

__“There’s bad news and good news,” Tony says cautiously, and Bucky prepares himself for the worst. “The bad news is that they still have her.”_ _

__“And the good news?” Bucky prompts when Tony gets distracted by a piece of technology._ _

__“The good news is that the morons finally clued us in to where she is.”_ _

__Bucky has to sit down, he’s so overwhelmed._ _

__They know. They know where she is. He’s looking at a map, and the building where she’s being kept is highlighted, and they know where she is._ _

__It’s too much for him to take in, and he is so inexpressibly grateful that he can feel tears in his eyes._ _

__“Buck...” Steve holds up a printed email, and Bucky takes it from him, so tired that he doesn’t think that it matters whatever this idiot says._ _

__He’s wrong. The two sentences on the paper make his vision go blurry and his heart pound._ _

__“We will be holding the woman here until the Winter Soldier comes, alone and unarmed, to return himself into our care. If he is more than twenty-four hours in responding to our message, she will not be seeing him again.”_ _

__“Oh, no, you won’t,” he mutters as he, without thinking about it, rips the paper into shreds._ _

__“You know, it’s funny that bad guys haven’t come up with a better way to make threats,” Tony muses as he types away at his screen. “It’s always the same thing, over and over. ‘Damsel in distress, twenty-four hours, yada yada...”_ _

__Natasha shoots him a _look _and he clamps his mouth shut.___ _

____“But that’s not important at the moment!” he amends after a moment of awkward silence. “What is important is getting you to your girl.”_ _ _ _

____Bucky makes no comment about the fact that this is the second time in less than ten minutes that he’s heard (Y/N) called that._ _ _ _

____“So, what are we going to do?” Steve wonders aloud._ _ _ _

____Tony has a grin on his face._ _ _ _

____“Leave that to me.”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Your head is pounding and your eye is swollen and you feel like you’ve just been beaten up – possibly because you actually have._ _ _ _

____It’s been a rough couple of days._ _ _ _

____Now that the barrier of physical abuse has been broken, the guards take great delight in smacking you whenever they feel like it. You tried fighting back the first few times, but you learned quickly that it was a bad idea. So now you just take it, willing the pain away and reminding yourself that Natasha and Bucky both went through this on a daily basis, without any hope of getting out._ _ _ _

____You, on the other hand, have hope._ _ _ _

____They may have taken your cot and your string away, but they didn’t take your will to get out of here away, and you’ve been racking your brains for a way to get out._ _ _ _

____And you’re pretty sure that it’s going to work._ _ _ _

____Actually, scratch that, you _know _it’s going to work, because you’re desperate and that makes you willing to go to any lengths to get out of here, and _that _means that you won’t be taken alive this time._____ _ _ _

________Okay, so that’s a little bit dramatic. If they start using you as a punching bag again, you’re probably going to surrender without too much of a fight. You’ve found out that you’re not a huge fan of constant bruising._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It surprises you that Bucky hasn’t come yet – unless the morons are so stupid that they didn’t even tell him where you are. Not that you wouldn’t put it past them. They’ve demonstrated their idiocy in many ways to you, and at this point you’re capable of believing that they would do pretty much anything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Anyway, none of that matters to your plan, which you run through a few times in your head and then set about doing immediately._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh,” you groan, much louder than normal, for the guard’s benefit, “I feel absolutely horrible.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He stops humming his little (stupid) tune and sticks his big (stupid) head through the bars._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What’s wrong?” he asks, and he sounds genuinely concerned._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You can’t fix stupid._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I feel sick,” you whine. “I’m pretty sure I have a fever. If I could only have a blanket...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’ll get you one!” he offers, and takes off in the opposite direction. You have to smother a giggle. How dim-witted can one man be?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________By the time he gets back, you’ve managed to wriggle enough of your arm and torso through the bars to grab the stick/rod/beating-thing-that-they-thankfully-haven’t-used-on-you-yet, and it is safely hidden behind your back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Now, I can’t open the door and come in,” he warns you, almost apologetically, “because of what happened last time.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I understand,” you say, putting your best angelic face on._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Good,” he says, looking relieved. Geez, man. You obviously have the wrong job. You’re pretty sure that he’d be much better suited to working in a hospital than Hydra. “I’ll just pass it through the bars, okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Okay,” you say, adding a sniffle on for good measure. He passes it through, keeping a wary eye on you. When it’s safely on your side of the partition, he breathes a sigh of relief._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Is that all you need?” he asks, and you nod._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yes, thank you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He offers you a smile (he definitely should be working in a hospital. Probably the pediatric ward, honestly) and turns back to resume his whistling, and you feel almost guilty as you whack him on the head with your wannabe baseball bat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Not guilty enough to catch him before he falls to the ground, though, and you drop the bat on the ground with a clatter as you crouch down and reach through the bars to grab the ring of keys out of his pocket._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Beyond pleased with your success, you manage to unlock the door and drag your guard into your cell, locking him in there._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________To ease your conscience, you lower him onto the blanket._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And then you’re free, and you practically skip through the halls as quietly as possible, knocking out any guards you encounter as you go. You have a much better feeling this time – there are actually guards stationed at every corner, which means that life in this compound (or whatever it is) is going on as normal (whatever that is)._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You remember the labyrinth of halls from the last time you were in them, and you make your way to the door in record time. This time, you wave your keys in front of the sensor thing (honestly. Where the heck did they get that kind of tech in this ancient shack? You’re so done trying to reason through anything in here.) and get through it without any sort of fuss or bother._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And then you’re outside, blinking in the sunlight, trying to make sense of all of this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You’re free. You’re free. You’re free._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bucky didn’t come for you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But you push that thought aside, lock the door behind you (and break the key off in the lock, because even though they probably have another door, that little act of vengeance makes you feel a bit better), and jump over the gate before you can think twice about it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And then you’re _really _free, and you stand there, eyes still adjusting to the bright sun after a week and a half of flickering light bulbs, clutching your ring of keys and trying to make sense of what just happened.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You’ll think better when you’re walking, though, especially since it’s getting you _away _from that accursed place, and you can’t help smiling at everyone you pass because you’re so darn happy.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You can’t believe how easy it was. Apparently practice does make perfect, because that was a piece of cake, especially when compared to your disastrous first attempt. And now all you have to do is ask for directions to Stark Tower, and in no time at all you’ll be back with everyone, being fussed over and loved._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________It will be wonderful._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________So of _course _it’s not actually that simple. It is, in fact, very complicated.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You stop a kindly-looking, grandmotherly lady and ask, “Could you tell me where I need to go to get to Stark Tower, please?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________She just looked at you, looking confused. You figured that maybe you talked too quickly – you’re so excited to be making contact with someone that isn’t a guard that you probably mumbled a bit._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________So you repeat your question._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________She says something, and that is when all the hope that has been rising in you tumbles back to the ground in a spectacular explosion._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________She’s speaking a different language._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________And not just French or Spanish different, TOTALLY different, to the point where you cannot understand even a single word. It’s sounds Russian-ish, but you’re really not sure._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________After multiple attempts by both of you to break the communication barrier, she gives you an apologetic shrug and scurries off on her way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________So this is great. You’re free, but you have no idea where in the heck you are._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Wonderful._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________For some reason, the gravity of the situation doesn’t hit you until you pass a couple holding hands on the sidewalk and gazing into each other’s eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________That _, right there, is when all the determination and resolve that you’ve built up over the last however-long-you’ve-been-held-captive begins to crumble to the ground, and Bucky isn’t here, and you feel yourself sinking onto a bench that is conveniently nearby. You pull your knees up in front of you, and you bury your face in them, and you cry.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“All right, Frosty,” Tony says for the millionth time. “Let’s go over this one last time.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Bucky rolls his eyes, because there have been a dozen so-called ‘last times,’ and also because The Plan (Tony insists that it be capitalized) is so childishly simple that he thinks it’s completely unnecessary to go over it again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I go in,” he says, “I take out anybody in my way, and I get Sunny.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“And if you have any trouble...” Tony prompts._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Bucky rolls his eyes – again – and says, “And if I have any trouble, I use the communicator in my ear and call in some backup.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Natasha slow claps from her perch on Tony’s in-plane desk._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Bravo, Bucky. So much feeling!” She says, and then, addressing Tony, continues, “I think that’s good. If you make him go over that any more he’s going to snap and scream at you. I can see it in his eyes.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Bucky and Tony both laugh, and Bucky inwardly marvels at how easily and skillfully Nat eases the tension._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________It reminds him of Sunny._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“She’s right,” Tony says. “Just go get it over with.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Bucky adjusts the modified bullet-proof vest that Tony made him, crosses his fingers, rechecks his parachute, takes a deep breath, and jumps._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________It’s not a bad little town, the one on whose outskirts they built their factory. It’s quaint, and small, and very, very foreign. He can’t even pronounce the name of the tiny country it’s in, though he’s pretty sure that it’s close to Romania. He admires it from the air as he floats down._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________He’s never liked parachuting. It feels so slow and time-consuming. This time, however, there’s something different. This time, there’s the promise of getting his girl (he smiles at the phrase this time) back, and that makes everything okay._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________With that train of thought, he reaches the ground very quickly, and he unsnaps his harness and is dashing towards the building while the parachute is still in the air._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Hello?” he calls out as he opens the door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Unconventional, yes. But he’s desperate and he wants her back and his brain isn’t firing on all cylinders._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Easy there, Barnes,” Natasha laughs in his earpiece, and he grins, too, because _he’s going to see Sunny _.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Halt!” a rough voice shouts, and he immediately stops stock still. Maybe he should give them a chance. They’re not shooting at him, which is a good thing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________And then someone starts rattling off the stupid trigger words as they start marching towards him. It doesn’t have the intended effect, but it does make him angry. As he plows through all the soldiers, grabbing a gun from one of them and taking care of the rest of them, he wonders if this is what Bruce feels as he turns into the Hulk. If so, he does not pity the man._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________It is, however, cathartic, after the stress and anxiety that have been preying on his mind for the last few weeks, and he puts everything he has into his attack._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Before long, he’s cleared pretty much everyone out of the way, and the remainder, once they see the havoc he’s wreaked on their buddies, are more than happy to lead him to the cell that apparently belongs to the girl that they brought in a week and a half ago._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Except it’s empty. The door is open, it’s empty, and there are bloodstains on the floor._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Bucky whirls around and pins the nearest guy against the wall._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Where is she?” he growls, putting as much pressure on the guy’s throat as is possible without killing him. “What did you do with her?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I don’t know,” the terrified agent chokes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“What’s going on?” Natasha demands in his ear._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“What did you _do _?” Bucky shakes his victim like a rag doll.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“What’s happening, Barnes?” Natasha asks again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I swear to you that I don’t know!” the agent says, panic visible in his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“What’s going on?” Natasha all but shouts._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________And then it all hits Bucky. The fact that Sunny is actually, honestly, a hundred percent, _gone _. Frustration and anger and white-hot rage are swamping him in such an overwhelming wave that he can’t even feel the anger, or the frustration, or the rage. He just feels tired, so very, exhaustingly tired, and he sinks down onto the damp and dirty concrete floor of the cell.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“It happened again. She’s gone, Natasha,” he tells his teammate, leaning his head against the wall and closing his eyes. “She’s gone.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAHHH!!!  
> How have I let it slide this long??? I am SO sorry, guys!  
> I have no excuse, so I won't even try to explain my absence, but I hope that everyone is doing fantastically, because you all deserve an amazing life!!!  
> Enjoy!

“Can’t you go any faster?” Bucky asks, fidgeting in his seat. 

He’s been under the impression that technology these days is fast and precise. He’s also aware of the fact that it’s been _five _freaking days since the rescue attempt. He is fed up.__

__“No!” Tony snaps, not looking up from the tablet he’s typing codes into._ _

__“Isn’t there _anything _you can try that hasn’t already been tried?” Bucky wheedles.___ _

____Tony actually sets the thing (Bucky’s not entirely sure what, exactly, it is) down and bashes his head against the table._ _ _ _

____“No, there is not,” he says. “How many times – ”_ _ _ _

____“I think Bucky and I need to have a talk,” Clint abruptly announces, interrupting the billionaire, and Tony mumbles something that sounds like, ‘you can have him.’_ _ _ _

____“Okay. Come on, Barnes.”_ _ _ _

____Bucky reluctantly stands up and follows Clint out of the room. Once they’re safely out of earshot, Clint turns on him._ _ _ _

____“What the heck are you doing?” he demands. Bucky absent-mindedly notes that he he’s using the same tone of voice that he pulls out for scolding his children._ _ _ _

____“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he tries to explain, but Clint doesn’t give him a chance to finish._ _ _ _

____“No, you don’t get to pull that on me,” he frowns, and Bucky wonders if it’s spending so much time with Natasha that has made her arguing techniques rub off on him. He doesn’t really have anything to say, so he just meets Clint’s eyes until the archer sighs. “Look, buddy,” he says, sounding more like he does when he talks to his kids every minute, “I know that you miss her and that you’re anxious to find her again. But badgering Tony with questions every five minutes isn’t productive at all.”_ _ _ _

____“I know,” Bucky pouts, “but –”_ _ _ _

____“That,” Clint interrupts him. “That right there is why we’re so worried about you.”_ _ _ _

____Bucky has no idea what he’s talking about, and he says so. Clint frowns._ _ _ _

____“You’re turning into a kid,” he says bluntly. “You have no patience, no ability to sit still for more than five seconds. That’s not right. You’re the _Winter Soldier _\- ”___ _ _ _

______“Was,” Bucky corrects him. “ _Was _the Winter Soldier. Not anymore.”___ _ _ _ _ _

________Clint rolls his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Okay, yeah, I get it.” The man sighs yet again. “I’m not saying that you should completely ignore your feelings, turn into the Ice Queen, whatever. I’m just saying... Do something. Go to the gym. Heck, Tony’s got a whole floor for training. Go get your muscles engaged, and then go watch a movie with Cooper, and _stay away _from the techno room.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’m pretty sure Tony calls it the lab,” Bucky says, raising an eyebrow. He’s trying not to let on how much this conversation bothers him. He’s not Clint’s responsibility. Maybe he _is _obsessing over this and it’s turning him into an annoying little kid – and, okay, he admits that everybody has a point there – but that doesn’t mean that the archer has a right to come lecture him about it. Who does he think he is?___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And then it occurs to him that it’s not normal to get irritated that quickly, and he decides that blowing off a little steam in the gym wouldn’t be such a bad idea, so he grins when Clint sends him a half-hearted glare for his smart-alecky comment and retreats down the hall to get changed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Tony is just about ready to throw his computer across the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“This is stupid!” he explodes, making Bruce jump. “This is so stupidly, ridiculously, absolutely – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I know,” Bruce interrupts him. “I know. But that isn’t going to find her any faster.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Tony grumbles under his breath and turns back to his computer. He hates how Bruce is right ninety-five percent of the time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Though it truly _is _stupid. They’ve spent the last five days trying to track (Y/N) down, and to no avail. It doesn’t make sense that, with access to practically every freaking security camera on the planet, they haven’t managed to pin her down yet. They found footage of her climbing onto a bus in the village next to the old factory that the wannabe Hydra had made their headquarters, which was very exciting, but that was from – you guessed it – five days ago, and they haven’t managed to find anything since. They haven’t even been able to find footage of her getting _off _of the darned bus. Bruce suggested, very reasonably, that this was because the country (the name of which, Tony is loath to admit, even he, with his sky-high IQ, cannot pronounce – or spell) hasn’t had much luck with internet as of late, which probably has something to do with the very, _very _bad weather they had last year. (Said bad weather was courtesy of Thor and his Asgardian friends, and it had been very hard to talk their way out of that mess. The fact that Thor and his buddies had gone around cleaning up the damage – Pepper had shouted and screamed until even the god of thunder was intimidated enough to obey meekly – had helped improve the dispositions of the people, but it hadn’t improved their connectivity.)_______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Anyway, the long and short of it is that even though they’re putting a lot of effort into finding their girl, it’s all in vain. Tony’s not about to give up, but he is frustrated. Poor Bucky has been hanging around, worrying himself sick about where she is and if she’s doing okay and in whose hands she is now, and he’s so pitiful that Tony can’t even find it in his heart to be angry at him, dang it. (That doesn’t mean that he’s not very, very annoyed by now and very, very grateful that said concerned super soldier is no longer in the room.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________He looks over at Bruce, and Bruce is looking at him, and they sigh together._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“What do you say we leave this program running and go get some coffee?” Tony suggests, rubbing a hand over his face and wondering how long it’s been since he’s left the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“That sounds great,” Bruce nods, jumping at the idea. “I’m getting a little restless.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“That makes two of us,” Tony grins, and holds the door open for his friend._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Where do you think she can be?” Bruce asks wearily as they walk down the hall to the kitchen. “I mean, she can’t just disappear. She’s got to be somewhere, waiting for us to come get her.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Ah, no,” Tony shakes his head. “I don’t think so. The girl has a mind of her own. Wherever she is, she’s not sitting around and waiting. She’s probably already found a job and is making some money to buy a plane ticket home.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________You wipe your forehead with the back of your hand, heaving a sigh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“You okay, (Y/N)?” your boss asks you, looking a little concerned. You straighten up and smile at her, picking up another plate._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I’m fine,” you assure her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________After you’d mostly recovered from your breakdown on the bench, someone sat down beside you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Had a bad day, huh?” said a decidedly feminine voice, and you almost broke down in tears again at the English words._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Yeah,” you said shakily. “Not the best.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________You looked over at your fellow English speaker. Her black hair was in a pixie cut with blue and pink streaks running through it, she had diamond studs crawling up the inside of both ears and multiple rings in her nose and her lip, and she was dressed in at least five different colors. In short, she would look like a really good time even if she wasn’t the only person that speaks your language in this desolate country._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________As it is, you were already fairly positive that this was your new best friend, and you almost wrapped her in a hug before you even learned her name._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________She extended a hand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Rosalie,” she said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“(Y/N),” you returned, shaking her hand and fighting the urge to cling to her like a drowning woman._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________She gave you a knowing grin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“It’s a little overwhelming, isn’t it?” she sympathized. “Nobody to talk to, nobody you know... all alone in a frighteningly big world.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________It was amazing, the way that she’d managed to put your feelings into words, but you resisted your initial impulse to immediately trust this woman that you knew nothing about._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Clearly being kidnapped has taught you much._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I was in your shoes,” she continued, and you listened. “I got mad, ran away from home, and somehow ended up here. Didn’t know the language, didn’t know anybody. But I found a really nice lady, and got a job as a chef, and made my way in the world.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Well, when you put it like that,” you grinned, “I’ve got it good.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________She snorted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Darn right, you do,” she said. “I would have killed to be in your position when I first came here. You’ve got someone that _speaks English _.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“And I am grateful!” you say hastily._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________She grins._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“All right,” she says. “You’re hired.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________You were, understandably, very confused by this. Long story short, she was trustworthy, and she offered you a job at her diner a few towns away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You can work there until you earn enough for a plane ticket home,” she said, “and then you can go.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________You were so overwhelmed by the kindness of this stranger that you broke into tears again. After she awkwardly patted your back and you sniffled and apologized for bursting into tears and she told you that it was fine, you gratefully accepted her generous offer, she bought you a bus ticket, and the rest, as they say, is history._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________At the moment you’re feeling a bit discouraged, despite your relatively fantastic position. Oh, you’re still unbelievably grateful for Rosalie and the friendship (and the job, and the apartment) that she’s provided, but you miss your friends. You want to go home._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Homesick?” Rosie accurately guesses your thoughts, wiping down the counter._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________This is a characteristic that you haven’t been able to get used to in the five days that you’ve known her. And, okay, five days is not a long time to get to know somebody. You’re aware of that. However, it’s still very disconcerting when she can basically read your mind. You have a secret suspicion that the crazy Asgardian debacle a few years ago gave her powers, but you’re not going to say anything. After all, if she can read your mind, then she knows that you have that theory._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Yeah,” you tell her, catching the rag as she tosses it to you and using it to scrub at a stubborn patch of jelly on the nearest table. “I miss Bucky, especially.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________You’d told her your story the second night that you were here, because you were exhausted, mentally and physically and emotionally, and you needed to let your feelings out. Rosalie was, as you learned, an incredible listener, who only nodded and hmmed and sympathized in all the right places – in addition to keeping you well-stocked with sandwiches and tea._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________At first you were wary, but then you remembered all the tricks that both Bucky and Nat had taught you to be able to tell if someone was lying. You studied her deep brown eyes and found only warmth and concern for this stranger that she’d dragged off the streets._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________When you finished talking, she was silent for a moment, and then she sucked in a deep breath._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Wow,” she said. “That’s intense.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Yeah,” you nodded, taking another sip of steaming tea. “But it’s all better now. Thank you again for – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“No,” she shook her head firmly. “No more.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________You already thanked her at least a dozen times for her kindness and hospitality, and she replied every time that it was her genuine pleasure._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________And you believed that it was. Rosie, like you, thrived on helping people, and you sensed that immediately. You accepted her graciousness and tried to repay her in whatever ways you could, and by now, you two are fast friends._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Yeah,” she says. “I don’t blame you. He sounds like a hunk.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________She winks and grabs an empty coffee cup off of a recently deserted table. You dip the rag in more soapy water, ring it out, and toss it to her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“It’s not just that,” you defend yourself, blushing, and she grins._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I know,” she says, reaching for the coffee pot. “But it’s so easy to fluster you that I couldn’t help myself.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You’re just like Tony,” you pout, and then add, on second thought, “And Sam, and Clint, and Scott...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“And basically everyone?” she finishes, and then she shrugs. “Guess I’d fit in with your group.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________You nod._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Heck yeah, you would. They’d _love _you.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________She scoffs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Whatever.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“They would!” you insist. This conversation is reminding you of a very similar conversation in the tiny cabin on the _JARVIS _. “You’re so fun, and creative, and hilarious, and kind, and just... you’re _awesome _.”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________And then you turn back to the sink and busy yourself with some dirty dishes and pretend that you don’t notice her suspiciously wet eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________The moment passes, and the day goes on, and your only thought is getting to bed and staying there, but just as you’re locking up Rosalie stops you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Hey... (Y/N)?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________You look up from your fumbling with the keys. (You’ve never been the best with locks and whatnot. Nat briefly tried to teach you to pick locks but gave that up when you ended up jamming one even further.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Yeah?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________To your surprise, she reaches forward and pulls you into a hug._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Thank you,” she says, and you instantly know what she’s talking about._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“I only said the truth,” you shrug, and she sighs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met. You know that?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________You can feel yourself blushing and she lets you go._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“I won’t embarrass you anymore. But just... you’re special, Sunny. You are very special.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________You go to bed feeling happier than you have in weeks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad news... I probably won't be updating every week any more. My life is a bit psycho at the moment, and I'm crazy busy, so we're probably going to be slowing down to bimonthly.  
> I'm happy and healthy, though. Not complaining, just informing!  
> I hope that you're all surviving the madness that is life, too!  
>  Love to you all!


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I am not dead!  
> Writing this took FOREVER, which does not bode well for this story and the rest of this school year. Fear not, I shall finish it if it kills me. Just... be prepared to be patient, kay?  
> Enjoy!!

The next morning dawns bright and clear, and you wake up in a good mood, without knowing why. You practically dance around your room getting dressed, and as you make your way downstairs to the café (Rosalie’s apartment is in the same building as her business, which is brilliant) you make a silly face and wave at the security camera like a five year old, just because you can. You hum a tune to yourself and check to make sure that all the tables are set before skipping into the kitchen.

And that’s when you stop short. Rosalie apparently did _not _wake up with the same good feeling that you did, because she’s currently scowling at her apron.__

__Problem number one: Rosie, the most cheerful person ever, is scowling._ _

__Problem number two: Rosie, who absolutely loves her brightly colored apron, is not wearing it._ _

__“Are you okay?” you ask, immediately filled with concern. She looked up as soon as you entered the room and is trying valiantly to act normal._ _

__“Yeah. I’m fine,” she says. “Just a little... er... tired.”_ _

__You give her a look._ _

__“Rosalie,” you say, “I’ve seen you when you’re tired. This is not tired.”_ _

__She sighs and drops the pretense, reaching for her apron to give herself something to do with her hands._ _

__“I just... I’ve got a feeling,” she begins. “And, um, my feelings are usually pretty good indicators of what’s going to happen.”_ _

__You try not to shout ‘I WAS RIGHT’ and she smiles genuinely at that._ _

__“Yeah, you were.”_ _

__Now you’re even more excited._ _

__“You’ve got powers? Why don’t you tell people? Why don’t you...”_ _

__“Ssh!” she interrupts you. “I just don’t want to. It... there’s a lot of responsibility, you know? I don’t want to sign the Accords; I’d much rather just live quietly.”_ _

__You hold your peace after that, because that’s a good point._ _

__And yet... there’s a little niggling at the back of your mind that makes you feel more than a little uncomfortable, as if something is very wrong. But these feelings have been occurring quite frequently as of late, and you’ve become very skilled at pushing them to the back of your mind._ _

__As you do so, Rosalie gives you a cheery grin, and you return it, reaching for your own apron._ _

__“Let’s get to work, shall we?” she asks, and you nod, smiling._ _

__“Let’s do it.”_ _

__

__Half a world away, Tony is still scanning screens, coffee in hand. Bruce is nodding in the corner, and Tony is letting him sleep. The doctor deserves some sleep. And so, as Pepper recently reminded him, does he, but he’s not going to let himself sleep until he’s done another full rotation through the cameras in the town that was located close to the other town with the thing..._ _

__Okay, maybe he does need some sleep._ _

__He’s just about to tell F.R.I.D.A.Y. to shut the program down when a clip of footage catches his eye._ _

__“Wait!” he shouts, waking Bruce and almost spilling his coffee on himself in his excitement. “Go back!”_ _

__“What’d I miss?” Bruce asks groggily, rubbing his eyes. Tony notes that he looks like a college student that’s been awakened during a nap in the middle of a lecture, what with the messy curls and the bleary eyes and the sense of guilt, like he should have been awake to hear what the professor (or screen) was saying._ _

__But that’s not important at the moment._ _

__“This,” Tony says, pointing to the screen and trying (and failing) to keep tears of pure joy from springing to his eyes. “This.”_ _

__There, on the stairs of the little café in yet another little town whose name is unpronounceable, is their Sunny._ _

__“We found her,” Tony says, slumping back in his chair and closing his eyes._ _

__Bruce stares at the screen, eyes wide, mouth frozen half-open in a yawn, and Tony can almost _see _the stupid blame and shame that the doctor has been carrying around lift off his shoulders. A genuine smile springs to Bruce’s face, and he sits back down, grinning.___ _

____“We found her,” he echoes Tony’s words. “ _Finally. _”___ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______You and Rosalie go about your day as normal; wiping tables, filling coffee cups, giving patrons warm smiles as they head out the door. You get compliments, as always, on your positive attitude and your waitressing skills, and Rosie gives you a thumbs up, making you feel a shiver of happiness at how perfect your life is._ _ _ _ _ _

______As she turns away, however, that feeling that something’s wrong hits you again, and it’s even stronger this time. You shove it to the back of your mind again. It’s just silly. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this situation. You have a job, you’re going to be paid, you’ll fly home to Bucky soon... what could be better?_ _ _ _ _ _

______You shake off the feeling and pick up a dirty plate._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Something wrong, Sunny?” Rosie asks, lifting an eyebrow at you. You guess that she sensed your inner confusion._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No,” you shake your head. “I’m... fine.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You sure?” she asks, frowning. “You don’t look fine.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I am,” you insist, pushing past her into the kitchen and trying to shake this weird feeling off. “I’m fine.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Bucky can’t breathe. He can’t breathe, he can’t move, he can’t think._ _ _ _ _ _

______She’s alive. She’s alive and she’s okay and she’s right there on the computer screen in front of him and there’s a suspicious burning behind his eyes. He tries to wipe them discreetly on his sleeve. It’s not discreet, but nobody cares because they all have tears in their eyes, too._ _ _ _ _ _

______It seems like it should be a perfect moment, but Bucky senses something... off. Something wrong._ _ _ _ _ _

______The (Y/N) on the screen looks happy and healthy. She’s just as beautiful as ever. And yet... He can’t put his finger on it, but she’s not the same. It’s almost as if... But that thought is silly, so he shakes it off and forces himself to come back to reality._ _ _ _ _ _

_______Come on, Barnes, _he chastises himself, _she’s okay! You’re going to go bring her home! Get with the program! ______ _ _ _ _ _

__________“So who’s going to get her?” Sam asks, swiping Tony’s coffee pot and helping himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________All eyes in the room turn to Buck, and Sam rolls his eyes over the brim of his mug._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“ _Obviously _he’s going. And obviously, I’m going, too. I meant who _else _?”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I’m going,” Natasha says. Her voice is quiet but firm; she’s stating a fact. “I’ve got to shout at her for scaring us like that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Me, too,” Clint nods. “She had no right to go get kidnapped like that when Nathaniel was just starting to call her Aunt Sunny.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________That elicits a half-laugh, half-sob from Wanda, and she says, “I’m coming, too.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Nat gives her a sympathetic glance. Wanda’s had a rough go of it; Sunny was her best friend in the whole group, except for possibly Laura. It’s not easy to lose the person you’re closest to; Natasha knows this from experience. So does everyone else, and there are no objections to Wanda’s joining the rescue party._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I will join you,” Thor says, and his voice is subdued and gentle. “I’d very much like to see (Y/N) again.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Natasha smiles at him, because she’s always liked the guy, despite the rolled eyes she makes at his starry-eyed ideals. He’s like something out of a fairytale, and since she was forced to outgrow fairytales before she even had a chance to hear them, she enjoys having him around._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Yeah, um, if I can...” Bruce fumbles over his words, like even he is not sure what he’s trying to say or why he’s trying to say it, but nobody minds._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Yep, you can,” Steve says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Woah, woah, woah,” Tony frowns, “who put you in charge?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Steve shrugs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I mean, I _am _Captain Ame - ”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Ha, no. You’re not pulling that. Did _you _spend the last week awake using all your resources trying to find your lost friend?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Steve has no answer for that, because though he hasn’t been sleeping well he also hasn’t put the level of effort in that Tony has._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Granted, he doesn’t have the same resources that Tony does, so that’s not really fair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________But he concedes that no, he did not spend the last week using all his resources to find his lost friend, and a triumphant Tony takes control of the group..._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________...For all of five seconds, until he realizes that Steve isn’t going to argue with him on this, which takes all the fun out of it. His rousing speech dies away into nothing, and Steve grins knowingly, and Natasha, after some muttered Russian that made Bucky grin and Wanda giggle, says, “Okay, team. Here’s what’s going to happen.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________The morning practically flies by. The café itself seems to dance to the music that Rosalie sets to playing over the speakers, and all the patrons are in smiling, happy moods. It seems like something out of a Disney movie._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________And you’re feeling more strongly than ever that this is wrong, wrong, wrong. It’s _too _perfect. Everyone is _too _happy. Rosalie... there’s something behind her eyes that is starting to terrify you, and you don’t know what it is, which terrifies you even more._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________All in all, your life is perfect, which means that something is horrendously out of place. And you can almost put your finger on it, _almost _. Something about people... there should be more people, different people. But _who _?_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________The question isn’t answered, and the day starts to slow down. The hands on the clock are maddeningly slow, and the afternoon drags. You stifle a yawn, and Rosalie laughs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Getting sleepy, Sun?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________You force a smile, forcing down the uneasiness that has been growing ever since you got hear. _Honestly _, (Y/N)! Rosie’s been nothing but kind. There’s absolutely no reason not to trust her.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I’m fine,” you shrug. “Just a little – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Before you can finish your sentence, there’s a sound like an airplane outside, which normally wouldn’t bother you, except for the fact that you haven’t heard a sound like that in what feels like a very long time. As it is, the drone of the engine makes you jump. Rosie’s head snaps up from her dishes, in a way that makes you certain she’ll look terrified, but instead she’s all but grinning, and she turns to look at you with eyes that are darkened with a myriad of emotions._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Something very cold and very unpleasant crawls up the back of your spine at the sight of those eyes, and everything slowly starts to fall into place._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________The fact that you haven’t taken the time to pick up a phone or find some way to send an email, the way that you’ve felt so cozy and happy here while all along your _family _was somewhere, and you knew they’d be searching for you and you knew they’d be missing you...___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Wrong. _Wrong _. _WRONG _._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“You...” you start to gasp, but Rosalie just has to make eye contact with you and your mouth clamps shut, even though your brain is still telling it to form words. Your heart sinks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________This is bad, this is bad, this is very bad._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Yes, I did,” she says, and her voice is cool and collected but her eyes are feverish with glee. “Yes, I did.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________You feel sick to your stomach and dizzy and unable to stand all at the same time, but you don’t fall. Your knees are shaking, but they don’t move. You’re trapped in your own body. You stare at Rosalie in horror, watching as the fevery look leaves her eyes and feeling the exact moment that control of your arms and legs return to you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Now, let’s go out and greet your friends, shall we?” she asks, and before you can even think about it you find yourself obediently following her out the door into the street._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________She pushes the door open, and you step out into the crisp, outdoor air – not because you want to, but because you _do _. It’s not your choice as to where you go, anymore; the dark amusement in Rosalie’s eyes is proof of that. So you resolve, despite your inability to control where you go or what you see, that you’ll observe as much as possible.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________The noise was, indeed, an aircraft. It’s not a plane – there’s some sort of official name for it, but you can’t remember what it is. You can just see Tony sitting in the cockpit, taking off his headset, through the thick glass. He’s somehow managed to maneuver the machine down into the narrow street and make a safe landing. He really is a genius._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Just the sight of him brings tears to your eyes, and even though you can’t use your mouth to form words you mentally plead with Rosie._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________________Please. You don’t have to do this. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________She just looks steadily back at you, reminding you eerily of a cat. She doesn’t blink, her expression doesn’t change. But you can read everything in her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________________You’re mine now. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________With blurred vision and a stinging throat, you watch as the ramp lowers from the side of the Quinjet ( _that’s _what it was called) and the door hisses open.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________First out is Bucky, and you can feel yourself crying in earnest now. He’s closely followed by Natasha and Wanda. They meet your eyes before you’ve had time to brace yourself, and the girls’ faces light up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________Bucky’s, by contrast, crumples._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________“(Y/N),” he breathes. It’s little more than a whisper, but you hear it loud and clear, and you try with everything in you to shake off whatever spell Rosalie has you under; to dash over there and throw yourself in his arms and never, _ever _leave them again.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________Needless to say, it’s useless. You can’t move a muscle._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________This has to be some sort of nightmare._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________“There she is!” Nat shouts over her shoulder, and Steve, Sam, Clint, Bruce, and Tony nearly run her over in their haste to get out of the Jet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________“Hey, Miss Sunshine!” Clint greets you, grinning from ear to ear, and you can feel yourself letting out a choked sob at how good it is to see him again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________Almost everyone looks unbelievably happy... except for two._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________One of them is Bucky, and he looks like he’s so torn between being overwhelmed and overjoyed and relieved and upset that he doesn’t know what expression to wear._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________You understand, because you’re feeling about the same way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________The other is Wanda, and she’s looking so pale that you’re genuinely concerned._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________Nat meets your eyes again, grinning broadly, but you let all your tangled emotions flow to your eyes, which, thank heavens, Rosalie has apparently left to your own control. The smile is wiped off her face, and you slide your gaze over to Wanda. Natasha quickly figures it out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________“What is it?” she asks immediately. Wanda points at Rosalie, who is looking marvelously unconcerned for the fact that her evil plan is about to be uncovered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________“She’s... she’s in (Y/N)’s head. She’s not _mind _controlling her, exactly. At least, not at the moment, anyway. She’s just... controlling.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________Bucky’s head snaps up and he meets your eyes. You try your hardest to apologize without words but his eyes harden and for a moment you’re terrified that he’s angry with you. But then his gaze shifts to the girl that you were fondly calling Rosie not an hour ago. There’s fire in his eyes, and it’s mixed with ice, and you know that what’s about to happen is going to get exciting._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________Except..._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________When you glance at Rosalie, she doesn’t look concerned. Not worried, not upset. She’s calm and collected. That’s when you remember that she can read minds. (And, who knows, possibly see the future, but that’s not the point right now.) She knows exactly what Bucky’s thinking, exactly what he’s going to do, and exactly how to defeat him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________Snap._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________“How could you do that?” Bucky shouts, chest heaving and eyes flashing. “You had absolutely no right to – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________“Oh, no?” Rosalie asks, inspecting her fingernails. “No right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________Everyone looks a bit taken aback at that, including Bucky._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________“What are you talking about?” he growls, walking forward as quickly as he dares after whispering something to Natasha. She nods and darts back into the Jet, followed by Wanda._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________“I’m just saying,” she drones, sounding almost bored, “that I am completely authorized to use my – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________“No, you’re not,” Bucky retorts. “You’re not allowed to do _anything _to (Y/N), and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll drop that spell real fast.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________“I’m not feeling very inclined when you ask so rudely,” Rosalie says, and Bucky huffs a humorless laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________“Look, lady...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________“Her name’s Rosalie,” you hear yourself saying, and all eyes turn to you. You’re just as surprised as they are, because it was an involuntary sentence. You didn’t mean to say it. “Her name’s Rosalie, and she’s my very best friend.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________Tony and Clint and Steve and Bruce and especially Bucky look so stricken that you have a sudden wild wish that you didn’t know what was happening. Rosalie’s face is full of false sympathy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________“Oh, dear,” she says, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close to her, “Looks like your little friend is a bit fickle, doesn’t it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________Bucky’s face darkens until you’re genuinely frightened._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________“Let her go,” he says, voice low and dangerous._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________Rosalie just laughs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________“Let her go,” he warns. “Release her from any stupid spell she has.” When Rosalie doesn’t move, he whips a handgun from his back pocket so quickly that it makes you jump. Your captor, on the other hand, doesn’t even blink._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________“Oh, a man is waving his thunderstick around. I’m _so _scared.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________Okay, wait. Thunderstick? What is she, a Native American?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________Bucky is just as confused as you are, and he freezes with the gun pointed towards her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________“What? Thunderstick? You’re sounding like a... what?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________Bucky sounds puzzled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________“You uncivilized savage!” Tony shrieks from his vantage point. You, Bucky, and Steve all roll your eyes in unison, and he shrugs. “Just trying to lighten the moment.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________“Uncivilized?” Rosalie repeats, a smirk pulling on the corners of her mouth. “On the contrary, darling. I’m more civilized than any of you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________“What are you talking about?” Bucky asks yet again, keeping the gun aimed at her and steadily walking forward. “No matter how civilized you are, I want you to drop the spell and back away from (Y/N).”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________“I’d be much more inclined to do so if you were offering me any actual incentive,” she begins, sounding uninterested, and then stops as she catches sight of something. Her eyes light up, and a smile works its way across her face. “Like him.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________Thor just stepped out of the Jet and is now standing, frozen in place, on the ramp._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________“Hello, Odinson,” she greets, and that’s when yet another wave of realization starts to hit you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________“Moira,” he says, voice threatening._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________Everyone except for the two of them is thoroughly confused, frustrated, and ready to scream._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________“What’s going on?” Natasha demands, and it is now that you realize that she’s holding a gun._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________She must have picked up some extra weapons (she’s always armed) before finding Thor._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________“This is Moira,” he says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________Bucky rolls his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________“We gathered that much. Who _is _she?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________Thor looks stricken._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________“She’s my cousin.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHH PLOT TWIST!!!  
> So about three words into this chapter my outline went out the window. Now I'm back to making things up as I go along, because Rosalie was suddenly Moira and you couldn't move and I was very confused.  
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed/tolerated this chapter! I'd love to know what you think, but don't feel pressured. :) I'm so honored that you're reading this! Thank you so much for being you! You're amazing!  
> All the love!!! <3


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks so much for your patience. This chapter is really short, and it's not very sweet. Just be forewarned.  
> Thanks so much to all my lovely commenters, kudosers, and readers!   
> Enjoy! :)

“What?” 

Everyone asks the same question at the same time with differing levels of shock. Well, except for you. You still can’t open your mouth, so you just think it. All heads turn towards Rosalie/Moira/whoever she is, as if she’ll be able to tell them that her alleged cousin is lying and that she’s really not a psycho Asgardian. (Which is silly, because she’s the one that started all this in the first place. She’s obviously not a good guy.)

“Talk quickly,” Natasha snaps, glaring at MoiraRosalie.

“I don’t feel the need – ” Rosalie begins, but in the middle of her sentence Natasha sends a bullet whizzing by her ear. The bang makes you jump – understandably, since Moira has pulled you so close to her. It almost feels like the gun is aimed at you.

Bucky also sees it that way, and he’s very close to glaring at Natasha before he decides the better of it. She’s one of the few people he really trusts, and he knows that, for one thing, she loves you dearly and is not going to shoot you and, for another, he knows that if she’s not aiming for you she’s not going to hit you.

Anyway, Moira is completely unfazed by the events of the last couple of seconds, which surprises you until you remember that she can read minds and tell the future and who knows what else now that she’s an alien. 

Your Avenger friends have had no such preparation and you scrutinize their reactions with a degree of amusement. All of them, except Thor, are standing there with their mouths hanging open and their eyes wide.

Okay, so that’s a major exaggeration. It’s less dumbfounded shock and more mild surprise, especially on the parts of the spies/assassins. However, it’s a lot more emotion than they normally show, so you decide to enjoy the fact that they’re surprised enough to let their guard drop, even a little bit.

At least, until you remember that you’re still kidnapped by a crazy lady. That dampens your enthusiasm for _anything _by a little bit.__

__“What was that?” Natasha demands. “How’d she see that coming?”_ _

__Thor sighs._ _

__“It’s one of her powers,” he explains. “She’s able to see the future.”_ _

__Natasha looks, for a split second, like she’s going to ask what she wants to ask, but then she apparently decides that it’s been a heck of a day and she doesn’t need to know._ _

__Clint, however, is bound by no such inhibitions and asks, “ _Powers _? Plural?”___ _

____Thor nods, looking a little unhappy. It’s almost like he’d rather be somewhere other than here, telling his friends about the powers, plural, that his cousin possesses, and how she’s going to use those powers, plural, to kick said friends’ butts._ _ _ _

____No, he hasn’t even said a word yet, but you have a gut feeling. Maybe Moira’s rubbing off on you._ _ _ _

____“Indeed,” he frowns. “The Lady Moira is capable of many things. She is feared by all as a foe because of her great skill in battle. Few have ever defeated her when – ”_ _ _ _

____“Okay, Point Break,” Tony interrupts, looking impatient. “Just tell us what her powers are.”_ _ _ _

____Thor looks understandably annoyed at being so rudely interrupted, but he bites back his frustration and plows on._ _ _ _

____“She is able to control the minds of mortals, as you have seen,” he says, glancing at you._ _ _ _

____Natasha’s brow furrows._ _ _ _

____“But Moira isn’t controlling her _mind _,” she says. “You can tell that Sunny’s still in charge of her mind – she’s just trapped.”___ _ _ _

______“In her own body,” Steve says sadly, and Bucky’s eyes harden still more._ _ _ _ _ _

______“It is true,” Thor says. “(Y/N) is still in possession of her thoughts, but not her body. I’m not sure why this is the case, however; Moira is fully capable of taking over her mind as well, I assure you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“We believe you,” Tony says grimly, eyeing the unreadable but very intense expression on Moira’s face. “Continue.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“She can see the future,” Thor cooperates, “and that, combined with her ability to read minds, makes it all but impossible to defeat her. And if you take into consideration that – ”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hold up,” Sam says, trying to digest all this information. “You said she was your cousin, right? What does she have against Sunny?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Thor is most definitely not glad to give the answer, whatever it is. He looks very stern, which either intimidates you or full-out scares you – you’re not quite sure._ _ _ _ _ _

______“She may be able to control the minds of others, but she has no control over her own,” he says. “Long ago, a madness struck our people. We knew and still know not from whence it came, but many were stricken. Almost all were cured, but Moira, with her many gifts and clever mind, was especially vulnerable, and has not yet recovered. She has no more knowledge of why she does this than we do.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Well, that’s a game changer._ _ _ _ _ _

______Sam and Clint are wearing nearly matching expressions of shock. Steve looks defeated. Tony is taking this information in with wide eyes. Bruce has his face in his hands. Wanda looks ready to cry. Natasha is completely stone faced._ _ _ _ _ _

______And Bucky... Bucky is furious, stunned, overwhelmed, and exhausted all at once._ _ _ _ _ _

______“So she’s psychotic and she’s got (Y/N) totally under her control?” he asks Thor, trying to make sure that he’s got it all straight and hoping desperately that he’s really just very confused and this isn’t as bad a situation as it seems._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes,” Thor says bluntly, and Bucky feels his heart sinking through his boots into the ground. He mutters an expletive under his breath, and then, when that isn’t enough, he says it again, much more loudly._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yep,” Natasha says bleakly. “That about sums it up.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______You’ve been watching Moira out of the corner of your eye during this exchange, and she’s confusing you. Her expression is alternating between satisfaction and outrage, which could possibly be explained by her psychosis, but still doesn’t seem right. You’re completely befuddled by this until you see her face soften as she glances at Bucky, and then it all makes sense. The mighty Asgardian goddess has a crush on him._ _ _ _ _ _

______Dang._ _ _ _ _ _

______This is not a good situation, by any stretch of the imagination. All of the potential reasons for and outcomes of her behavior make you dizzy, and you swallow hard._ _ _ _ _ _

______This is _really _not a good situation.___ _ _ _ _ _

________Your theory proves to be correct when Moira, fed up with what must seem to her like mindless, meaningless chatter (it’s actually the Avengers discussing how to get you out of her control which is not mindless _or _meaningless), suddenly shouts, “Enough!” Her eyes are flashing, and she looks at each of them in turn. “You cannot have her,” she says clearly, glaring. “She is _mine _.” She stresses the last word, and your eyes widen even more._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Hold up. does she have a crush on _you _?___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________This is such a ridiculous situation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Trying to ‘rescue’ – ” her scornful tone makes it very clear that she doesn’t think that rescuing is even necessary “ – her is futile,” she continues, sounding like you think Loki would if he was lecturing. “Even if you find us, I will crush you all. Be forewarned.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________And with a last dark stare at each of them, she grabs your arm, turns on her heel, and the two of you vanish into thin air._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Bucky stares at the spot were (Y/N) and Moira were standing for three seconds, and then he screams. He screams and screams and curses and whacks his pistol against the ground and when his throat goes raw he sags against the brick wall of the building, slamming his metal fist into it over and over and over again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________She’s gone yet again. He’s lost her three times. Losing her is the one thing he dreads the most in the world, and it keeps happening, like a nightmare on repeat. He thinks of the helpless and terrified and, worst of all, apologetic look in her eyes and it takes everything in him not to scream again. How can she think that she’s to blame? It’s _him _that is at fault, _him _that apparently isn’t quick enough or smart enough or strong enough._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________He’s dimly aware of Natasha and Steve murmuring comforting things to him, and of Tony talking about security cameras and how if they found her this time, they can find her again (conveniently leaving out the ‘it took us a solid week to find her’ part), and of everyone going back inside the Quinjet to figure out their next strategy, but he doesn’t move. He stands there and cries._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very slow, I know. Short and slow and we really didn't go anywhere. But hang in there, and I promise we'll get moving relatively soon.  
> I love you all so much more than I can say! Have a beautiful, wonderful day!


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I hope that you're all having an absolutely lovely day.  
> Here we have yet another short and sad chapter.  
> I hope you can still enjoy! :)

You wake up feeling dizzy and majorly disoriented. The last thing that you remember is Rosie grabbing your arm and everything going black. But in your memory, you were outside. Why were you outside? And why was she grabbing your arm.

Oh, right. She was saving you from the bad guys – the Avengers. They were here to kidnap you, and she saved you. You remember it all very clearly.

“Good morning,” Rosie hums from the chair next to your bed. You’re in a room that is lit up with bright sunlight, decorated with light blues and greens, and feeling very welcoming.

You smile widely at her. 

“Good morning!”

Your brow furrows in confusion, because the two of you aren’t in the bakery.

“Where are we?” you ask her.

She smiles.

“Somewhere no one will find us.”

That sounds nice to you. Spending the rest of your life with Rosie, left alone by the world, sounds absolutely perfect.

“Good,” you say with another smile, and then you yawn. Even though (or perhaps because) you just woke up, you’re feeling very tired. Though maybe waking up from being unconscious isn’t the same as waking up from being asleep. Either way, Rosie is looking at you, and you can tell that she wants you to go back to sleep. So, without worrying about where you are or what you’re going to do, you close your eyes and drift off.

 

Bucky is pacing the floor. He knows that Steve, and Natasha, and Sam, and Clint – probably everyone in the room, in fact – would much prefer his staying still and quiet, but he can’t help it. If there was a certain girl sitting in the chair next to him, if there was a certain voice whispering ridiculous jokes into his ear, if he could reach over and hug his (Y/N) any time he wanted, then he would sit down.

But there is no voice and no girl and no Sunny, which means he can’t sit still, which means he keeps pacing with long, even strides. Everyone, thankfully, decides to be lenient and just ignore him as they discuss what their next course of action should be.

“We have the cameras,” Clint points out. “We found her this time. Isn’t it reasonable to expect that – ”

“Yes and no,” Tony interrupts. Clint sends him a half-hearted glare. “Yes, we still have the cameras, and yes, we’ll be utilizing them all we can, but there’s no guarantee that we’ll be able to find them. I mean, it took us _weeks _this time, and now Moira knows that we’re looking for them. It’s not going to be as easy as last time.”__

__“But at least we know what we’re up against,” Steve offers. “That’s better than last time, right?”_ _

__Scott rolls his eyes._ _

__“Yeah, at least now we know that we’re up against a mighty Asgardian soldier that will know when we’re coming and could take every one of us down in a fight. Gee, I’m so comforted.”_ _

__“Steve’s right, though,” Natasha says, effectively silencing Scott. (He practically worships Natasha – has ever since she took Hope down in two seconds flat.) “It may be a bad situation, but knowing what we’re facing is definitely to our advantage. “_ _

__“Scott has a point, too, though,” Bruce frowns, and Natasha sighs. He’s been feeling twice as guilty for letting Sunny go outside at the party ever since they found out that she’s in the clutches of a maniacal alien. “Moira is twice as powerful as all of us put together.”_ _

__“I wouldn’t say that,” Thor says. “We have – ”_ _

__“You _did _say it,” Wanda reminds him, rubbing her temples with her eyes closed. Vision watches her with concern written all over his face. “Remember? On the plane on the way home.”___ _

____Thor keeps his mighty mouth shut after that, because she’s right. He did say that very thing._ _ _ _

____“Okay, but let’s look on the bright side,” Sam says, trying bravely to remain optimistic. “Sun’s fine. She’s healthy, and Moira has no intentions of killing her. She’s alive, and she’s going to stay that way.”_ _ _ _

____Bucky stops pacing at that, because Sam is right. Moira seemed rather fond of (Y/N). (Though he can’t see how anyone wouldn’t be.) Chances are high that Sun won’t be dying anytime soon._ _ _ _

____“But we can’t be sure of that, can we?” Vision interrupts. “Thor’s cousin is certifiably insane. Isn’t there a high chance that – ”_ _ _ _

____“Vis!” Wanda hisses in a horrified whisper, shooting a concerned glance at Bucky._ _ _ _

____“What did I say?” he wonders aloud._ _ _ _

____Everyone watches Bucky, anxiously wondering how he’s going to react to the thoughtless statement, certain that it won’t be good. He’ll probably go pale, storm off, start crying, or do all three. All of them are more than surprised, then, when he does none of these things. He walks over to the table, pulls out a chair, and sits down._ _ _ _

____“If she’s insane,” he says, “then she’s very smart, but very unpredictably smart.”_ _ _ _

____Everyone looks at him, wondering where he’s going with this._ _ _ _

____“She’s got a plan, and she’s got a million backup plans, and she has backup plans for her backup plans. But if we hit her in a way that she’s not expecting, she won’t know how respond. She’ll get sloppy. And then we’ll have a chance. That happens with insane people sometimes, doesn’t it?” he asks them, looking suddenly uncertain. “They get surprised and it kinda paralyzes them?”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah,” Tony says, looking lost in thought. “You’re probably right.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m pretty sure that that’s not just for insane people,” Steve says in an aside to Natasha. “Everyone gets surprised. Bucky’s not thinking clearly, or he would have just said _people _.”___ _ _ _

______“Whatever,” Natasha says. “At least he’s thinking instead of moping somewhere. That crap got real old real fast.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“The cases that the physicians studied suggested that the afflicted individuals kept a fairly steady schedule,” Thor offers. “They slept and woke at the same time each day without fail. We don’t know if it was because of the madness, or if the persons were orderly to begin with, but...”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s worth a shot,” Tony says, busily tapping on his phone. “But we don’t get _any _shots until we find her, so let’s get on that right away. Bruce, come with me. I’ve got an idea.”___ _ _ _ _ _

________Tony sweeps out of the room, and Bruce starts to trail after him, but before he can get very far, Natasha stops him with a gentle hand on his arm._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hey,” she says softly, so that only he can hear, “Give yourself a break, okay? When Tony’s done come hang out in my room. I found some movies that I think you might like. And I have a bag of Snickers.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________His eyes light up at the mention of his favorite candy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What kind of crazy person wouldn’t say yes to that?” he jokes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She laughs, partly because she thinks he’s adorable and partly because she’s relieved to hear him joking._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You’re a child, Banner,” she says fondly, and plants a kiss on his cheek. “Now go do science.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yes, ma’am,” he says, and scurries from the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Natasha watches him go with a smile on her face, because she got a better response out of him in that quick exchange than she has in weeks. (That’s probably because of the accidental nap he took on the plane, she decides.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bucky watches Natasha with an ache in his heart. He wishes (Y/N) were here, even more than normal. Watching other couples does that to him, he supposes. And there’s the worst part – He and (Y/N) aren’t even officially a couple. He wishes that he’d been a man and stuck around after he’d given her that kiss on the cheek. Would it have changed anything? If he’d just had the courage to stay, would she be sitting next to him right now? The thought sends him spiraling into a plethora of guilt-ridden thoughts, and he leaves the table to head to his room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The next time you wake up, you’re feeling much better, and so, apparently, is Rosie._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________(It’s strange, but just thinking her name sends a weird feeling shooting through you – almost like she’s not actually called Rosie, and she’s not actually all that she appears to be. But the thought is quickly smothered, thankfully. You don’t like weird feelings.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Good morning!” she chirps, just like last time, but unlike last time there is no underlying wish that you were asleep at the moment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Good morning!” you beam at her, tossing your blankets aside and swinging your legs over the side of the bed. “Are we still safe?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh, yes,” she assures you, and you sigh in relief. The weird feeling about her name not being right and her not being what she seems was accompanied by the strange sensation that the Avengers aren’t actually trying to hurt you. But you know that that’s not true, so you want to be sure that you’re out of their reach, because they’ll probably kill you if they can find you. “But, about that - there’s something I wanted to mention.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Oh dear. Are you not actually safe? Are you going to die?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“For the moment, we’re completely safe,” she says, as if reading your thoughts, “but we can’t be sure that they won’t find us.” That makes sense. “We’ll have to train you to resist them, just in case.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________That sounds good to you. You want to be able to defend yourself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Okay! When will we start?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Now,” Rosie says, and before you can ask her what she means she’s suddenly, somehow clutching a knife, and there’s a very unsettling look in her eyes. You immediately panic._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Please don’t hurt me! I’m not – what are you doing?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________To your inexpressible relief, the crazy look leaves her eyes, and she smiles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Of course I’m not going to hurt you, you goof! I just want to help you learn to be prepared for the most unpredictable circumstances.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh,” you say, feeling foolish but smiling in spite of the fact, “sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She scoffs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You have nothing to be sorry for. Now, if I come at you with the knife this way, you’re going to avoid it this way.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She twists her body just like someone’s thrusting a blade at her, and you watch in admiration. She’s so graceful._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You’re going to teach me to be like that?” you ask her in disbelief._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Of course I am!” she says, looking benevolent. “What else are friends for?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You giggle and she grins before flipping the knife around and handing it to you, blade first. You stare at it and then gaze up at her, with a questioning look in your eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Why are you giving it to me?” you ask her, bewildered. A glint crawls into her eye, unnoticed by you but definitely there._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Because, darling, you need to be able to defend yourself. And to make sure that you can do it, I’m going to teach you to defeat all of the Avengers.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. Many emotions are happening.  
> Like I said, it was short, but be assured that we'll make up for that next chapter.  
> Love to you all! Have a fabulous Sunday!  
> All my love,  
> Star <3


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH.  
> Okay. This chapter wrenched many emotions out of me. Granted, I am a super emotional person, so that's not hard to do. But just be warned; there are feels.  
> Also, this is the longest chapter yet, so brace yourself for a lot of it.  
> Also, also, I love my commenters very, very much, and I've decided to dedicate this chapter to all of them in general and to a few in particular:  
> Ree923 (Who I have not seen in a while and miss very much),  
> Zee221B (who I have also not seen in a while. Miss you! Hope you're doing okay!),  
> WaywardWolf007 (Keep being fabulous),  
> celtgirl (feel better soon!),  
> BlackDiamond (much, much love!),  
> and BlueWillow78 (thank you so much for being you).  
> Okay. I'm done.  
> Love, love, love, love, love to all of you beautiful, wonderful, fantabulous readers, kudosers, and commenters, because you are all unbelievably amazing and I definitely would not be writing this story without you. (Also, please don't be offended if I did not mention you by name - I promise that I know who you are and that I appreciate you more than words can say... I just couldn't remember your username because I have a lousy memory.)  
> I'll shut up now.  
> Enjoy!

After a bit of discussion, the plan to rescue (Y/N) is underway, and it’s going much better than anyone expected. 

Thor called in the Lady Sif and Warriors Three, which was indescribably good for their mission for multiple reasons. 

For one thing, they now have five Asgardian warriors on their side, which is really nice when they’re going to fight a psycho Asgardian. Backup is something no one dared to hope for until now. 

For another, their good natured bickering keeps everyone entertained, which is nice when they’re starting to think about how hopeless their situation is. 

Thirdly, and most importantly, they brought news from Heimdall that he’s been keeping close tabs on Moira since she came to Midguard, and that he watched her drag an unconscious woman into an abandoned apartment in Italy. (Why she chose Italy, no one has any idea. Maybe Moira is being considerate to the rest of the world and picking out a country that the Avengers haven’t wrecked yet.)

Anyway, no matter which way you look at it, the situation is nine times better than it was a week ago. It would be _ten _times better except that Sunny’s still in the clutches of a maniac, which puts a bit of a damper on things.__

__But they try not to think about that._ _

__It’s not hard to focus on what they need to do to get her back instead of the terrible position that she’s in. The Asgardian folks are very focused on how to deal with Moira._ _

__“It is essential that we get all of you in able condition,” Sif says, looking just a little strange in the tank top and yoga pants that she borrowed from Natasha._ _

__Sam raises his eyebrows._ _

__“You don’t think we’re in able condition? Don’t know if anyone told you this, but we’re the Avengers. We’re pretty much the ablest people you’re ever going to find.”_ _

__“’Ablest?’” Steve mutters._ _

__“Most able,” Sam concedes with a glare at Steve. “But my point stands.”_ _

__“Perhaps you are exceptional in Midguardian reasoning,” Sif says, ignoring the ‘ablest’ argument, “But Moira is not Asgardian.”_ _

__“But we’re still not ‘unable’,” Sam begins, but he doesn’t get to finish._ _

__“You’re saying that we don’t know how to fight her.” Natasha interprets for Sif, who nods. Natasha frowns. “Teaching all of us to fight is going to take up a heck of a lot of time.”_ _

__“That’s why not all of you will be learning how to fight,” Thor says. “We’ve decided that Miss Romanoff, Rogers, and Barnes will be the only ones taught, as they are the most promising.”_ _

__“Excuse me?” an offended Clint squawks._ _

__“There’s nothing wrong with you or your fighting methods,” Fendral begins, “but...”_ _

__“Oh, yes there is,” Natasha interrupts him, grinning. “You’re just a pathetic old man now, Barton.”_ _

__He glares at her._ _

__“Watch yourself, Romanoff,” he growls, “I know where you live.”_ _

__“Okay, okay,” a disgruntled Tony interrupts. “Moving on. What shall the rest of us unpromising mortals do while the three great ones are being trained?”_ _

__“The Lady Sif, Volstagg, and Hogan will train the three I have mentioned,” Thor says. “Fandral and I shall assist the rest of you.”_ _

__“I don’t need ‘assistance’,” Sam grumbles, but he follows Thor into the other training room anyway. Wanda, Vision, and Tony follow willingly. Bruce, as always, meekly cooperates. Scott looks thrilled to be training with Thor, for whom he has an intense admiration, and Clint gives Natasha another death glare._ _

__She grins with unabashed glee as he files out of the room._ _

__“Thanks for that,” she says to Sif as the two women make their way over to the punching bags. “I thought I’d run out of insults for him.”_ _

__Sif, to Nat’s chagrin, doesn’t look entertained, so the Black Widow shrugs it off and settles into her fighting position, mentally noting that later, if there’s time, the Asgardian warrior clearly needs to learn how to have fun._ _

__

__You stand at attention, muscles rigid, back aching, waiting for Rosie to tell you that you can move. She takes her time, examining the sketches you finished last night, giving you her opinion on them._ _

__It seems like hours have passed when she says, “Release.”_ _

__And then you let yourself relax, and you feel a burning in your throat. It’s a sensation you’ve become pretty well acquainted with over the time you’ve spent with Moira._ _

__Yes, Moira. Her name’s not Rosie. And she’s not _saving _you.___ _

____She kept you in the ‘I’m so happy and Rosie is my best friend’ fog for weeks, and then she lifted her control over your mind. You’re not sure why she did it then, but she did, and it was absolutely horrible for you. All the memories flooded your mind, and it was so much information and it was so strange to be thinking for yourself that you got nauseous and weak and had to lie down on the ground. (The bed had become a luxury by then. Moira is trying to get you as hardened and battle-ready as possible.)_ _ _ _

____Moira had laughed. She laughs every time she lets you return to your own mind, even though it’s always brief. She likes pain, you’ve discovered. She likes watching you cry, watching you beg to be freed. She especially likes it when you think about Bucky, because that’s when it hurts the most. There’s no escape, no way out. Just pain._ _ _ _

____That’s when she first lets you out from her control. Thoughts of overwhelming, crushing despair and grief. And then it changes, changes to determination that you will escape and get out of here._ _ _ _

____And as soon as you start thinking that way, she sucks you right back into her control._ _ _ _

____It’s a nightmare. A real, genuine, come to life nightmare._ _ _ _

____You writhe on the floor, trying to deal with the sharp, crippling pain in your head. Coming back to reality always hurts more than anything you’ve ever experienced – both physically and mentally – but you still prefer reality to being Moira’s puppet. The pain is worth the grasp of the real world, the knowledge that the present moment is really happening._ _ _ _

____But, as always, it doesn’t last more than a moment, because as soon as you decide that being in charge of yourself is worth even more pain than you’re suffering, Moira’s eyes narrow and your eyes close and you know that in a few seconds you’re not going to know what’s real anymore._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____You open your eyes. Rosie is hovering over you. She’s concerned._ _ _ _

____“Are you all right? You fell when we were practicing flips – you hit your head! Does it hurt anywhere?”_ _ _ _

____You blink a few times. Your head is aching a bit, but there’s nothing beyond that._ _ _ _

____“No,” you tell her, because a little bit of pain doesn’t count, that’s what she’s said. “I’m fine.”_ _ _ _

____She smiles._ _ _ _

____“Good. Now get back on your feet and get your knife.”_ _ _ _

____“Of course!” you chirp, dashing over to the cupboard where she stores all your weapons, eager to please. And she smiles at you, and you can tell that she’s really pleased by your willingness, so you say it again, to make her happier. “Of course.”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Bucky feels a surge of elation as Sif taps her fingers on his arm, indicating that she’s losing air and can’t free herself. He immediately lets her out of the choke hold and she stumbles backwards, gasping for air. He grabs a water bottle and offers it to her. She accepts it and takes gulps of water in between breaths._ _ _ _

____When she’s got her usual airflow back, she says, “That was very good. You’ve improved yourself since we started.”_ _ _ _

____Bucky is taken aback, because compliments from Sif are always few and far between. He likes that about her, because if she gives him a compliment, like she just did, she means it._ _ _ _

____“Have I?” he asks, taking a swig out of his own water bottle._ _ _ _

____She gives him a _look _, and he has to hide his grin. She doesn’t like people fishing for compliments, which he completely approves of. He’s not a fan of compliment fishers, either.___ _ _ _

______“You know you have,” she snaps, and he feels his eyes widening, because two positive comments in one day is almost dizzying._ _ _ _ _ _

______He’s glad that he’s getting better. They are defeating this alien brat if it takes everything he has, because he’s not coming home without (Y/N). Not ever again._ _ _ _ _ _

______As if on cue, Sif says, “You’re close to her, aren’t you?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“To who?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s ‘to whom,’ and you know who.” He starts to protest, and she rolls her eyes. “Don’t play dumb with me, Barnes.” (He mentally notes that she’s been spending too much time with Natasha.) “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He does know who she’s talking about, so he doesn’t try to talk his way out of this. It’d be pointless, anyway. Sif is one of the smartest people he’s ever met._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah. I guess you could say that Sunny and I are close.” He likes the fact that they’re using present tense, but he doesn’t have a lot of time to appreciate it because Sif is looking at him disapprovingly. “What?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re in love with her, and all that you’re saying is ‘I guess we’re close,’” Sif says._ _ _ _ _ _

______Bucky chokes on his water._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What are you talking about?” he asks, coughing as he clears his throat and his lungs at the same time. “I’m not...”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sif gives him a _look _, one that only an idiot would ignore and keep talking through. Bucky’s no idiot, so he immediately shuts up.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Don’t try to lie to yourself,” Sif advises him. “You love her.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bucky thinks about the smile that Sunny gives him whenever she senses that he could use some cheering up. He thinks about the way that she can all but read his mind; the way that she laughs, the way that she cries, the way that she’s always there, sweet and kind and wonderful._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yes,” he agrees softly. “I love her.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Saying it out loud makes the fact that she’s not here hurt even more._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sif seems to read his mind yet again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Don’t focus on it, or you’re never going to see her again. Focus.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And she tosses her water bottle aside and attacks again, and even though he’s supposed to be focusing he can’t help wondering what Sunny’s doing right now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No!” Sif shouts. “Focus!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________His distraction is apparently evident on his face, so he forces himself to focus and successfully blocks her next hit._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bucky has barely finished his post-training session shower when the Compound explodes into a hurricane of activity._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Thor ended up traveling to Asgard to consult with Heimdall and, while there, discovered that now is the time to strike. Moira has been training (Y/N) to fight, and if they’re not fast enough, she’ll be completely under the goddess’s control. That will not be good._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________So now Bucky, Tony, Steve, Natasha, Sam, all the Asgardians, and Clint are boarding the Quinjet, ready for whatever life is going to throw at them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Theoretically, anyway._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bruce opted out of going, because he’s worried about ‘the Other Guy’ slipping out of control and accidentally hurting Sunny. Everyone knows that it’s just an excuse because he still hasn’t managed to entirely convince himself that Sunny won’t blame him for her kidnapping, but they don’t push it. They let him sit on the couch and pretend to read his medical journal as they all leave the building. (Natasha stops when she’s walking by and leans down to press a kiss to his tousled hair and turn the magazine right side up.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Vision, Scott, and Wanda are on a mission, so none of them have been told about any of this. They need their focus in the field, and worrying about their friend isn’t going to help them get their job done any faster._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Scott will be upset, and Wanda will be absolutely furious, but they’ve decided that the possible consequences of distraction outweigh a little anger when the other members of the team get home. Or, rather, Tony and Steve decided that. Personally, Bucky thinks that Wanda deserves to know, no matter what. She’s ridiculously attached to (Y/N), and if anyone has the right to know about this, it’s her. But it’s not his decision, so he said nothing – just slipped into her room and left a note on her bed, just in case she got back before the rest of them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It’s a long flight, but they’re all too tense to rest, even if it would probably be a good idea, so Tony runs over his game plan. (No one’s sure why Tony even has a game plan, since he’s not in charge and everyone knows that, but he does, and they’re all more than content to sit there and let him chatter. It’s oddly soothing, which is quite ironic.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bucky watches the clouds slip by, listens as Tony eventually fades out, his vast reservoirs of words somehow run dry._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He forces himself to focus, to get his mind into gear, because he was too distracted last time, too easily caught off guard, and he is determined that that will not be the case this time. He’s not coming home without (Y/N), ever again. He’s made up his mind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Tony announces that they’re five minutes away from touching down (short notice, he thinks, until he remembers that their flight progress is plastered across a screen and that if he really wanted to he’d just look up and know exactly where they are) and Bucky watches Sif slip into what he now knows is her fighting mindset. He’s sure that she doesn’t call it that in her own head, but he doesn’t know what else to call it in his. He’s only seen this a few times, when she was very, very serious about a training session, but it’s been enough to make the process familiar. Her eyes harden, her fingers flex, and her already perfect posture somehow becomes just a little straighter._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She must feel his eyes on her, because in the middle of becoming strong and stern and unbreakable she turns to look at him, and she smiles softly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“We’re going to get your lady back, Barnes,” she says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He starts to protest that Sunny’s not ‘his lady’, and then he thinks about how badly he wants for her to be just that, so he doesn’t say anything. He thinks about how many times he’s lost her, and how much he wants her back, and he’s hesitant to agree with Sif’s statement, because even though it’s silly it feels like saying the words out loud might keep hers from coming true._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sif smiles, again, and says, “Don’t do that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What?” he asks, startled. He was very studiously not doing anything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You know what,” she says, shifting to look him straight in the eyes. “We’re going to bring her home. I know we are. You and I, we’re going to bring her back, no matter what.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He nods, only half convinced but still touched by the fact that she’s so vehement about this. But that makes him think of something else that he’s been curious about for a while._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Why?” he asks. “Why are you so... I don’t know... Emotionally invested in this?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She shrugs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t know, truly. I think it’s the light in your eyes when you talk about her, or maybe the fact that you worked harder than Rogers and Romanoff put together in training. I may not have any of my own, but I know love when I see it, and, contrary to popular belief, I do have a heart. Somewhere.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She winks at him, and Bucky is so flabbergasted by this completely uncharacteristic display of affection that he can’t think of anything to say. But he knows, as he meets her eyes, that he doesn’t have to say anything. Maybe she even prefers it this way; the quiet, them both in their own thoughts, unsure of what, exactly, the other is thinking. But he knows enough, and he’s thankful, and he lets her read that in his eyes, and when she finishes getting into her battle mode there’s something else there, something that Bucky can’t put his finger on, but that he knows is going to defeat Moira. He knows that it’s there because of him, because, for whatever reason, she’s taken a liking to him and she wants him to be happy. While his heart is warmed by the sentiment, he wonders if he’s worth it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He doesn’t think so, but he knows that Sunny unarguably is, so he lets Sif keep that gleam in her eyes and checks to make sure that all his weapons are tucked in where they need to be._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________In the end, none of Tony’s strategy comes into play. Not that Bucky listened very carefully in the first place. He still knows that getting into an argument with government officials over the aircraft was definitely not on the agenda, and neither was everyone abandoning the billionaire to deal with the hassle as they marched down the streets towards the apartment building._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But that’s what happens._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He saw Steve exchange a glance with Tony before they left, though, and he saw the resignation and permission in Stark’s eyes. They’re not going to get kicked out of the Tower for mutiny._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“This is it,” Thor stops them, and Bucky feels his heart flip in his stomach. This is it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They all climb the stairs as silently as possible, wincing whenever anyone so much as breathes loudly, and stop when they come to door number 304._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“This is it?” Bucky asks Thor in a whisper, which is pointless since Moira has probably already sensed their aura or something and knows that they’re coming in. Thor nods, and that’s all the confirmation he needs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bucky kicks the door down._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It’s surprisingly easy, and the loud crash is somehow satisfying. He steps in, a knife in one hand and a gun in the other, bracing himself for the unexpected._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It doesn’t do any good. What he sees knocks all the breath out of him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It wouldn’t a normal person. Moira and Sunny are sitting in two armchairs, facing each other. That’s not scary. They’re just armchairs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________(Y/N) isn’t being tortured. She isn’t screaming or begging or crying._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It’s worse._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He looks into her eyes, those eyes that he’s seen laugh and cry and empathize and celebrate, and he sees _nothing _. No emotion. No feeling. The stare that she’s giving the opposite wall is blank and void of any thought process, and it absolutely terrifies him.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She’s not there, not in her own head. He doesn’t know where Moira’s taken her mind, but it’s definitely not where it should be._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The worst part is that he knows that blank stare better than anyone. He was the one giving it, most of the time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Her eyes meet his for a minute, and then they move away, totally uninterested._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________That’s when his heart breaks and hardens at the same time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He’s taking Moira _down _.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He’s trained with Sif enough to be completely aware of where she is in the room without turning his head, and he knows that she’s thinking the same thing. He doesn’t bother to wonder whether Moira is currently reading his mind or Sif’s mind or someone else’s. He just adjusts his grasp on his knife and charges._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You watch out of the corner of your eye as the Avenger that they call the Falcon approaches you, not letting your expression betray the fact that you’re aware of anything. It’s a technique Rosie taught you. If they don’t know that you know what they’re doing, she said, they’ll come right up to you. You can trap them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And it works._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Falcon kneels down by your chair, wings tucked in and face radiating concern._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Hey, Sun, you okay? Can you hear me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You stare blankly ahead, though you’re secretly a little surprised by the genuine emotion audible in his voice. You almost question Rosie for a second – almost – and then you remember that she’s your best friend in the whole world, and that if you can’t trust her you can’t trust anyone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________So you wait until he’s good and panicked, waving his hand in front of your face and practically shouting your name, and then you attack. You grab his arm and twist it around behind him, standing up and using the leverage to flip him over onto his back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He stares up at you, and it would be funny if you weren’t, you know, engaged in a fight to the death. (Okay, fight to the death is a little dramatic. It’s more a fight to the unconsciousness, but that doesn’t have as nice a ring to it.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’m going to take that as a ‘no, I’m not okay,” he mutters, rolling over and standing up. “What has she done to you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You don’t dignify him with a response; you just go in for an attack._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He blocks it without even thinking, but there’s a reluctance and desperation in his eyes that confuses you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Come on, Sun,” he pleads, dodging your next punch. “I’m not going to fight you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________You ignore him, even if it is a little strange that someone who’s allegedly trying to kill you sounds so genuinely distressed. You actually manage to land a blow on his solar plexus, and while he’s doubled over you use your knee to flip him over. He goes down again, this time with more of an ‘oof.’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________When he makes no move to get up, you glower at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Get up! Finish this!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I meant it, (YN),” he says, sounding a little shaky from getting smacked so hard. “I’m not going to fight you. You don’t know what you’re doing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Oh, yes, I do,” you retort. “I’m protecting myself.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________His face falls, and he looks so sad that you almost want to stop fighting, to give him a hand and help him up and let him talk to you. But you know that you can’t – Rosie would be furious._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Is that what she’s telling you?” he asks, defeated._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“That’s what I _know _,” you tell him, staring at the tears that are brimming in his eyes with bemusement.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“We would never, ever hurt you, (Y/N),” he says, and he sounds so sincere that you can’t help but believe him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“That’s what they all say,” you hiss, because Rosie had warned you about this, that they’d try to appear friendly in order to trick you. ‘You have to be very careful,’ she warned you. ‘Remember what I’ve taught you.’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________She’s taught you that the only good Avenger is a dead Avenger, but you don’t have the heart to kill the Falcon, not after the genuine concern that you saw in his eyes. At the very least, you’re convinced that he’s not a very big threat – he’s much too soft – so you settle for a blow to his face. He doesn’t even wince when he sees your fist coming; just closes his eyes with a sigh, apparently resigned to his fate. When you’re sure they won’t open again, at least for a little while, you stand up, ready for the next person._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Dang, Sun,” you hear someone – it sounds like Hawkeye – say behind you. “Where’d you learn to punch like that?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You turn around to face him, and are more than a little surprised by the sight that greets your eyes. He and the Iron Man are standing together, eyeing the fallen Wilson with alarm, but that’s not what surprises you. It’s kind o to be expected; they think you’re a weakling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________There are a couple of things that _do _surprise you, and you take a couple seconds to process them.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________For one, the two of them didn’t come to defend their friend while you were kicking his butt. That is definitely not good friendship, and it also seems a little out of character for such do-gooders._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________For another thing, Captain America, Black Widow, the Winter Soldier, Thor, and four other people that you don’t recognize are all tackling Rosie – and she’s keeping them at bay. She always told you that, though she’s pretty good at hand to hand, she’s never been able to fight more than two people at once. Now you feel lied to, because she’s ducking and dodging with casual grace, flipping her knives and stabbing them into various people, keeping everyone busy. It doesn’t even look like she’s tired._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I know, right?” Iron Man says in his tinny voice, following your gaze. “I thought Capsicle was so much better than that. And I knew that the alien b**** was good at fighting, but I didn’t know she was _that _good.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Don’t call her that!” you spit at him, taking several steps forward and grabbing your knives from where you left them behind the cabinet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Hawkeye frowns._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Please, Sunny,” he says. “Don’t do this. I really don’t want to hurt you. You’re our friend.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“No, I’m not,” you jeer, aiming a kick at his chest. He steps backwards and grabs your leg, his eyes meeting yours, worry behind them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Come on, (Y/N). You’re stronger than this. Snap out of it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________You don’t answer him; you just use your leg to flip him over. He lands on the ground and the wind is knocked out of him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I think you broke something,” he grunts, when he’s sufficiently recovered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________You scoff._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“You’ll be fine,” you tell him. “It just hurts more because you’re old.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Old?” he asks, glaring at you. “You’re going to regret that, missy.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________He uses one of his legs to swipe both of yours out from under you, and, were you less prepared, you would have hit the ground. But you saw that move coming a mile away, so you use the momentum to turn a somersault, grabbing a nearby broom and standing up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I don’t want to use this,” you tell him, “but I will if I have to.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Just wake up,” he groans, eyes no longer angry. He just looks defeated now. “Just come back, Sun. I know she’s got you under your control, but just do it. Please.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________His words make you feel dizzy, sparking some sort of feeling in the back of your mind, something that tells you that _this isn’t right _. A dull thudding starts in your temples, and flashes come back to you.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Moira... Asgard... Mind control... ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________What was it? What happened?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Before you can wonder any further, you look over to the corner where Rosie... or is it Moira...? is fighting. She looks back at you, and something that looks like fear darts across her face. She stretches her hand out towards you, and you fall to the ground, unconscious._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Sunny!” Clint and Tony shout at the same time, dashing forward towards her prone figure. Moira, behind them, has a self-satisfied smile on her face – at least, she does until Thor uses her distraction to grab an arm and pin it behind her back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________And as she turns to defend herself, Sunny’s eyes open and she reaches up, grabs Clint, who is leaning over her and calling her name, by the neck, and bashes his head against the ground._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Woah,” Tony says, eyes wide as he watches his comrade go limp. This is so nightmarish. He half believes that soon he’s going to wake up and realize that they haven’t even left the _JARVIS _yet.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Or maybe he just wishes it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Either way, (Y/N) gets to her feet and starts walking towards him, eyes blank. Tony can’t stop the shiver that goes down his spine at the complete lack of expression on her face. He tries not to call for help, but it just kind of happens._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Um... guys?” he asks, backing away from the steadily approaching (Y/N), who has a couple of knives in her hand and pretty clear intentions. “A little help?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“We’re a little busy, Stark,” Natasha replies, teeth gritted, as she dives under Moira’s swinging arm and grabs her legs. They’ve come to realize that the best way to catch her off her guard is to have no plan at all; everyone is just trying to bring her down._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________It’s almost like a free for all, but it’s working. Moira is breathing hard, and there’s sweat dripping down her face, and her eyes are wild, like she’s panicking. Bucky knows it’s just a matter of time now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Natasha gets lucky; just as Moira realizes what she’s trying to do, Sif steals a move from the Black Widow and jumps up, wrapping her legs around Moira’s neck and twisting her body around to bring the other woman crashing to the ground._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Fandral immediately goes for her legs with the binds that he’s brought, and Sif starts securing her arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________It’s almost surreal, how quickly they have her under control when they’ve been trying so hard for what feels like a very long time to do exactly that, but Bucky’s not complaining. He staggers back, catching his breath and giving Steve a high five as the Asgardians secure their kinswoman with blindfolds and gags and other restraint methods that would seem inhumane if Moira hadn’t proven that she has the capacity to and will not hesitate to get out of simple handcuffs. And then she’d kill them all, and none of them feel like dying today. So they’re not going to say anything about the slightly over-the-top techniques Thor is using to ensure Moira will stay out of control._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Now that Moira is subdued, his thoughts immediately turn to Sunny, and he whirls around to find her. He feels his heart beating faster in alarm when he can’t. His distress is made worse by the fact that he sees both Wilson and Barton lying on the ground with bloodied faces. Tony is nowhere in sight. He’s wherever Sunny is, presumably._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Where’d they go?” Natasha asks, her voice sharp with anxiety, as soon as she realizes what Bucky has – that (Y/N) is no longer in the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Steve looks just as worried, and he’s about to answer that he doesn’t know when a shriek from outside makes them jerk their heads up and start running in the direction of the sound._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“They’re on the roof!” Steve tells them – unnecessarily, since both Natasha and Steve have sharp hearing and are perfectly able to hear the fighting noises descending through the ceiling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Bucky thanks their lucky stars for the fact that they’re on the top floor of the building as he climbs through the open window and grabs the edge of the eaves to swing himself up with his metal arm. He leans down to give Steve a hand as his friend follows his lead, and they both offer their arms to Natasha until she flips herself up on her own without so much as glancing at their helping hands. Normally, Bucky would make some quip about being offended by her flagrant independence, but then he hears a metallic clang and turns around to see what’s happening._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Tony’s got his hands raised, deflecting blow after blow as (Y/N) attacks him, a fire in her eyes and knives in her hands._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Help!” the man in the suit hollers to them, and Bucky would laugh if (Y/N) weren’t dead serious about killing Stark. “She’s absolutely crazy!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“What do you expect?” Natasha asks, jogging over to pull the girl off of him. “She’s mind controlled.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Nat clearly thinks that it will be easy to overpower Sunny, but she’s quickly proven wrong. As soon as the mind-controlled woman feels another set of hands on her, she reaches back to grab Natasha by the shoulders and, using that leverage, uses her feet to climb up Stark’s body (he lets out a yelp at that, though technically it’s the _suit’s _body) and flip over the Black Widow.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Bucky feels his eyes widen as (Y/N) executes a perfect roundhouse kick and gets Natasha in the jaw._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________She staggers backwards, shock and disbelief written all over her face. Bucky knows that he and Steve look no less surprised, and they all exchange glances. None of them were counting on her fighting them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Natasha looks at him, wincing as she touches the tender spot on her chin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“You’ve got to talk to her, Barnes. Make her remember us.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Sun turns her gaze to him, and he feels himself swallowing. Her eyes are steady but they hold no recognition, and he feels his heart sink._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Hey, (Y/N),” he says softly. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________She glares at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“I haven’t missed you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________He knows that the words aren’t really hers, that the real Sunny has no control over what she’s saying, but it hurts anyway._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“That’s okay,” he says, cautiously advancing, “I’ve done enough missing for both of us.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________She starts walking forward as soon as he starts moving towards her, and he has to force himself to keep looking at her. The emptiness in her eyes make him feel sick._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“You know me,” he says. “You know you do.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“No, I don’t,” she says, betraying no emotion. “I don’t know your name.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“I’m Bucky,” he says. “Remember?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“No,” she says, but she sounds less sure of herself this time, and he takes the opportunity to press forward._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“You _know _me,” he says. “Bucky. We went to the library together, on the boat, remember?” Tony clears his throat behind him, and he rolls his eyes. “ _Ship _, I mean,” he corrects himself. Sunny looks like she’s fighting an internal battle._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“No,” she says. “I don’t remember.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Yes, you do,” he insists. “The library. The deck. We’d watch the sunset together. You remember, or you _can _. I _know _you can.”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“No, I can’t!’ Her voice is high and loud, and he tries to decide whether to back off or keep going. He looks in her eyes, and she’s close, so close, to recovering control of her mind. There’s a flickering behind her eyes, one that he recognizes all too well._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“You know me,” he repeats._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________Her fist comes flying out of nowhere and whacks him in the face. He stumbles backwards, stunned._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“Sunny...” he begins, regretting pushing her so hard._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________“My name is _not _Sunny!” she shrieks, her tone shrill, as she smacks him again.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________He glances over at Natasha and Steve helplessly, feeling blood dripping down his nose, discouraged and unsure of what to do next._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“What now?” he calls to them. They hold a whispered conference while Sunny attacks him. Bucky blocks each of her hits, careful not to use his metal arm because he doesn’t want her to bruise her hands, while he waits for them to come to a decision._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Cognitive recalibration,” Natasha says eventually, looking sick. “I think that’s what you’ve got to do.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________He knows exactly what she means, but he also knows that he can’t do it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“No, Nat,” he says firmly, dodging a kick. “I’m not going to do that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“You have to,” she says, just as firmly, meeting his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Bucky thinks about whacking (Y/N) on the head, hard enough for her to lose consciousness, and he feels faint. She’s so beautiful and perfect and sweet, and he loves her, and there’s no way he’s laying a finger on her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“No, Romanoff,” he growls, ducking a flying fist. “I’m not going to do it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“It’s the only way, Barnes!” she bellows unhappily. “I don’t like it either, but it’s what you’ve got to do.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Bucky shakes his head again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Nope. I can’t do it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Buck...” Steve sounds so defeated and miserable. “She’s not going to come out of this unless you do it. Please just do it. You know she’ll forgive you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“There’s got to be another way,” Bucky says firmly. “We can sedate her! Stark?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“She broke my medical kit when she climbed me like a ladder,” Tony says. “All the bottles are smashed. Trust me. I can feel the liquid running down my pant leg.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Natasha raises an eyebrow but says nothing. Steve just frowns._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“I can’t do it. C’mon, guys. We’re the _Avengers _, dang it. There’s got to be some way...”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________While he’s been talking, he’s been getting distracted. And at this moment, Sunny uses this distraction to her advantage and buries one of her knives in his arm. Or tries to, anyway. He was apparently born under a lucky star, because it’s his metal arm, and the blade snaps in two with a crack. But he stares at Sunny in shock, because he didn’t think she’d try to really hurt him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Just _do _it, Soldat!” Natasha screams at him.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________Bucky looks at her, startled by the name, and then at Sunny, who’s coming after him again with that manic look in her eyes and the other knife in her hand, and he knows that Natasha’s right. They don’t have time to come up with any options. He takes a deep breath and reaches out, wrapping his hand around her neck to cut off her air supply. She chokes, dropping her knife and clutching at his hands in a futile effort to tear them away from her throat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________Bucky feels his heart tear in half as he watches her lose consciousness, knowing it’s because of him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________“I’m sorry,” he whispers, watching her eyes close and her mind slow down. He keeps his hand on her throat until he’s sure that she’s completely blacked out, and then he snatches it away like it’s been burned. He looks at her face, finally peaceful, and wraps his arms around her to pull her as close to his chest as possible. He rocks her back and forth like a baby and croons, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya!  
> I'm not even going to try to apologize. Life is crazy and I'm currently caught up in a very intense Harry Potter phase which makes it difficult for me to concentrate on anything, and this chapter is probably lame, and I'm really sorry.  
> I'm going to go sleep now.  
> Love you all!!! Enjoy!!!

_“I was in your shoes. I got mad, ran away from home, and somehow ended up here. Didn’t know the language, didn’t know anybody. But I found a really nice lady, and got a job as a chef, and made my way in the world.” ___

___Rosalie _.__ _ _

_____“She’s my cousin.” ____ _ _ _

_______Moira _.__ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________“Please, Sunny. Don’t do this. I don’t want to hurt you. You’re our friend.” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________The Avengers _.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________”You know me. You remember. You know me.” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________Bucky _.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________“I’m sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________When you wake up, you remember everything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________The fight on the roof, the bakery, Rosalie, Moira, crazy Asgardian, the party, the kiss, the Tower, the _JARVIS _...___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Everything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________And your head really, really, _really _hurts.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You open your eyes cautiously, unsure of whether or not your pounding skull can take it. You don’t pass out or throw up, so you take that as a good sign and let your eyes open all the way. You take in your surroundings. You’re in a hospital-type bed. You’re hooked up to a heart monitor and your breathing is being measured, but there are no IVs, for which you are thankful. You hate needles. Moira is nowhere in sight, much to your relief, but there is someone sitting in the chair beside you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Morning,” Wanda says softly, trying very hard to suppress a relieved smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Good morning,” you rasp. She frowns and reaches for a glass that is sitting on your bedside table._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Here,” she says, holding it to your cracked lips. “Have some water.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You gulp it down, too grateful for the refreshing liquid to protest her help. When you’ve swallowed as much as she deems appropriate, she takes it away and sets it back down._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“How are you feeling?” she asks, pressing a hand to your forehead._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Like my brain is about to bust out of my cranium,” you say, “but okay otherwise.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________She nods, and lets you sit in silence for a moment before she says, “And how are you _feeling _?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Like h***,” you say bluntly. “I just about killed my _family _, Maximoff. How do you _think _I’m feeling?”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Her expression doesn’t change, but there’s just a little bit of surprise in her eyes; you very rarely swear._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“You didn’t ‘just about kill’ them,” she says after a beat. “They’re used to much worse.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“But not from _me _!” you all but scream.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Wanda is definitely startled this time. you’re not acting much like the (Y/N) she remembers. But then, she reminds herself, you’re _not _the (Y/N) she remembers. You’ve been kidnapped and mind controlled and brainwashed and tortured, and there’s no one on the planet that could make it through that unscathed.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“Not from me,” you repeat, more softly this time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________She nods._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“That’s understandable,” she says. “But you need to know that they don’t blame you. You’ve been through so much. There’s not a single person in this Tower that blames you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________You let out a bitter laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“They should. I’m such a – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“No,” she interrupts you, eyes kind but face stern. “You don’t get to talk about yourself like that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“I can’t... It’s horrible, what I did, Wanda. I won’t be surprised if Sam and Clint – and possibly Tony, and Natasha, and Bucky – ” your voice breaks when you say his name – “never speak to me again.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“None of them are angry,” Wanda says quietly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“Why not? After what I did – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“But it wasn’t _you _, Sunny!” she says vehemently. “It was that Asgardian _fiend _that did it, every single bit of it.” At the mention of Moira she looks absolutely furious, but she forces herself to calm down and says, “It wasn’t you.”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“But I still did it,” you say brokenly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Wanda looks so unhappy that you feel guilty, and try to think of something to say to ease the tension. The decision is made for you when your stomach growls loudly. Wanda jumps, and both of you burst into laughter; not just because it’s funny, but because there are so many emotions built up in both of you that they have to be let out somehow. You’re grateful that it’s through something as therapeutic as laughter. Wanda is, too._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“What would you like to eat, Ms (Y/L/N)?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________The voice from the ceiling startles you until you remember F.R.I.D.A.Y._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Just call me Sunny, please. And I’d like... um...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________You haven’t been able to make your own decisions for what feels like a very long time, and suddenly you feel very overwhelmed by your freedom._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Um...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“She’ll have some chicken noodle soup, please,” Wanda says for you, giving you an understanding look. You almost want to be upset for her making your decisions for you, but you’re also unbelievably grateful. It’s conflicting and strange and you kind of wish that you could just go back to sleep._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Coming right up,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. says, and you sigh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“It’s hard,” Wanda says, and you know exactly what she’s talking about._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“That’s a bit of an understatement,” you tell her, closing your eyes again. “I don’t even know how to get my own food anymore.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Her hand lands on yours, and you open your eyes to look at her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“But you don’t have to do it on your own,” she says. “Do you know why the team picked me to be with you when you woke up?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Because yours is the only face I didn’t smash?” you guess, frowning as you close your eyes again. Wanda sighs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“First of all, that’s an exaggeration. Scott and Bruce and Vision and Steve are all fine, too.” You can’t help but let out a guilty groan at the short list, and Wanda hurriedly keeps talking. “Secondly, no.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________You open one eye to look at her, your curiosity piqued despite yourself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________She waits for you to ask “Why, then?” before telling you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Because I can read minds. I know exactly what you’re feeling, because I’ve seen it – multiple times. It’s painful and horrible but I know how you’re feeling, and you can talk to me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________You close your eye again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“I could have guessed that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Well, that’s why I’m here, anyway,” she says with a sigh, and you can tell that she thought that telling you the reason that she’s here would open a door and make you feel a connection. It doesn’t. All it does is make you feel broken and messed up, because do they really not trust anyone else in here with you? You’re very aware of the fact that Wanda is the most powerful Avenger. Maybe they wanted her in here with you in case you woke up and were still under Moira’s control, so that she could dig around in your head and fix whatever was wrong._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________One glance at her face tells you that you’re totally right, and the two of you sit there in an awkward and tense silence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________It breaks your heart, because you remember many silences with Wanda, and not one of them was uncomfortable or awkward. The two of you were so familiar and trusted each other so entirely that you could sit for hours without saying anything and not once feel like there was anything amiss._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Wanda’s thinking the same thing, you know, because her expression is one of the saddest ones you’ve ever seen her wear._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________It hits you like a brick wall that you’re going to have to do a lot of healing before anything can go back to normal. It’s not like you didn’t know this already, but it suddenly becomes very real._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Back in the Hydra guys’ prison, you’d been fairly sure that you’d be able to pick up right where you left off. And you probably would have been able to._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________At the bakery and even during the very early days with Moira, there would have been a day or two of strange awkwardness, but then everything would have slipped back into place._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Now, however? Now you’re coming to realize that it’s going to take weeks, possibly months, for the relationship between you and everyone on the team to be repaired. You have way too many emotions boiling under the surface that need to be dealt with and sorted out, and that’s not going to happen in a day._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Before you can depress yourself any further, the door opens to reveal a beaming Laura Barton, who is balancing a tray on one hand and has a cluster of papers tucked under her other arm._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Hey, you!” she greets you with a wide smile. “Long time,no see!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________It’s funny. If Wanda had been this cheerful and happy with you, you most likely would have tipped her chair over and dumped her onto the floor. But for some reason, when Laura talks to you just like she would have before the... thing, it’s exactly what you need._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________You feel an answering smile slip onto your face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Hey, Laura!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________She magically balances the tray all the way over to you and slides it into your lap._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Dinner is served,” she says with flair, and you can’t help but grin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________You pick up the spoon and look down at your tray, and then you look back at her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________There’s way more than chicken noodle soup on here. There are rolls, there’s a salad, there’s a glass of orange juice, there’s a glass of water, and there’s even a slice of chocolate cake._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“What is this?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________She tries to look innocent._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“What is what?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________You laugh and shake your head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Come on. ‘Fess up.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________She sighs and hangs her head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“It wasn’t me,” she begins, and when you give her an incredulous look she snaps her head up again. “Honestly! I speak the truth! It was Melinda who decided that you needed rolls to go with your soup. And then Clint suggested salad, and Lila insisted you needed cake... Speaking of,” she says, untucking the papers from underneath her arm, “these are for you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________You take them, curious, and then feel your heart melt as you realize what they are._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“GET BETTER SOON, (Y/N),” and “I MISSED YOU” are written in the childish scrawl that you recognize as Lila’s handwriting._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Cooper’s note consists of all the reasons he thinks you are an awesome person, and they’re so numerous that you feel tears gathering behind your eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________Cassie’s, though, is the one that makes you really cry. There’s a picture drawn in marker of a group of people with exaggeratedly sad faces on one side. When you flip it over your first thought is that there’s no difference except that they’re all smiling, but when you study it for a minute you realize that they’ve been joined by just one extra figure. You fight back tears, biting your lip. On the first side everyone’s mouth curves down. You recognize every single one of your surrogate family, including Melinda, and everyone is drawn in black and white. The other side is drawn with vibrant colors, and there are huge smiles stuck on everyone’s faces._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________You look up, tears blurring your vision. Laura looks like she’s close to bursting into tears, too, and she tries to cover it with a laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“You make all the difference, (Y/N),” she tells you as you sniffle, fighting for control. “Every one of us missed you, and we’re really, really glad that you’re back.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________She leans over to give you a hug, careful not to overturn the dishes on the tray._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“I’ve got to get back,” she whispers in your ear. “Clint’s probably let Nathaniel eat the toilet brush by now.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________You giggle in spite of yourself – it’s happened before but then you think about what happened and bury your face in her shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“How is he?” you ask her in an undertone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________“Oh, he’s fine,” she says, pulling back. You can’t stand to meet her eyes but she puts a hand under your chin and forces you to meet her eyes. “(Y/N),” she says, slowly and deliberately, “he’s _fine _. It does him good to get beat up once in awhile. Reminds him that he’s mortal.” She winks at you, and you can barely hold your head up under the weight of guilt. Somehow, being forgiven makes you feel worse instead of better.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“I should warn you, though,” Laura says, moving towards the door, “that he’s going to hold a grudge against you for awhile.” You glance up sharply in alarm, and she grins. “You called him old.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________You feel yourself break down into hysterical giggles, and Laura gives you one last smile before she calls out, “See ya, Sunny!” and closes the door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________You calm down and turn your attention to your food, studying the drawings in between bites._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________You’re halfway done with everything before you look up at Wanda. She has an expression on her face that you can’t read._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________She’s actually thinking about how everything that she said just seemed to upset you or make you angry, and all that Laura had to do was smile to break your shell. She’s wondering if she really was the best choice for a bedside companion, and she’s feeling very, very insecure and inadequate._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________You’ve gotten fairly good at guessing people’s feelings, so even though you can’t read the expression on her face, you have a pretty good idea, and you’re feeling incredibly guilty._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Wanda, I...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“You don’t have to,” she begins, but you interrupt her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Yes, I do. I was... I was a brat. I’m sorry. I should have just... I’m still messing things up, see? I’m not under Moira’s control. Screwing up talking to you, that was all me. And I’m... I’m really sorry. You’re so perfect and kind. I’m sorry that I bit your head off.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________Wanda shakes her head furiously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“No. It’s not your fault. You’re exhausted and full of feelings and you needed time to process. I probably shouldn’t have even started up a conversation...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Whatever,” you say, setting your tray aside and staring to crawl out of bed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Hey!” she protests, looking concerned. “You stay in there!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“I don’t want to,” you pout. “I want to give you a hug.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________She rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling as she stands up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“All you had to do was ask,” she laughs, wrapping her arms around you. You return the hug and sigh, suddenly feeling very, very tired._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“I really am sorry, Wanda,” you mumble sleepily, and you see her smile before your eyes close._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“It’s okay,” she says, leaning you back against the pillows and securing your tray on the bedside table._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“It’s really not...” you begin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“It doesn’t matter,” she says, waving your concern aside. “Go to sleep.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I've actually got my life together and you get another chapter today! Yay!  
> Enjoy!

Since all that was physically wrong with you was the whack on your head and the slight malnutrition, Wanda only makes you stay in bed until your concussion has healed, which, with her help, takes less than a day.

Part of you is grateful, because you hate the idea of being stuck in a bed for any length of time, but more of you is nervous and uncomfortable.

After all, you may not have seriously injured any of the Avengers, but you definitely injured them. And you’re no rocket scientist, but you’re fairly certain that that can be damaging to a relationship.

So it is with a lot of trepidation that you follow Wanda down the hall.

Apparently, Tony wants to have a ‘family meeting;’ get everyone together, talk about what happened, have a group hug...?

You’re not really sure what exactly is going to happen.

You ARE sure that you don’t want to go, and you tell Wanda that as she leads the way.

“But what if everyone’s mad at me?” you ask, for what must be the thousandth time. “What if they decide that they actually _are _a little upset about getting their faces bashed in? What if...”__

__“You didn’t bash their faces in,” Wanda says, sounding a little less patient than she did the first umpteen times you asked. “And they won’t be mad. They’ve all been asking to see you since you got here.”_ _

__“Yes, but...” you begin._ _

__“Come on, (Y/N),” she pleads. “It’ll be good for you, and for everyone else. Please?”_ _

__“I just...” you trail off, wondering if there’s a way to say this without disappointing her. She’s been so excited for this ever since Tony suggested it. You have a suspicion that it has to do with you being uncharacteristically morose and depressed, but come on. You’ve been through enough that you can’t be expected to be quite the same as the (Y/N) she knew on the JARVIS, can you?_ _

__In spite of the fact that it can’t really be expected of you, you can’t help but feel inadequate and incapable. You’re supposed to always be the ray of sunshine for everyone. Your nickname kind of confirms that. And if you can’t be happy, if you can’t help others feel better about themselves, maybe you should just…_ _

__And therein lies the rub. You don’t even have a plan to get out of everyone’s way. There’s absolutely _no _-___ _

____“Hey!” Wanda frowns, breaking you away from your depressed thoughts. “Please don’t use that expression, (Y/N).”_ _ _ _

____You’re dangerously close to snapping, ‘I’ll use whatever expression I want, Wanda!’, which proves how much you’ve changed, when she sighs._ _ _ _

____“I don’t want to be hard on you. I know you’ve been through a lot. You can feel however you need to feel. It’s okay.”_ _ _ _

____And _that _, that right there, has you bursting into tears in the corridor. Wanda immediately looks disappointed in herself and wraps you in a hug, which makes you cry even harder.___ _ _ _

______“Not… not your fault,” you sob into her shoulder, trying to pull back and scrubbing at your face to try to regain control. “I’m sorry.” And those two words have rip what little discipline you still had away, and you end up burying your face in her shoulder and just crying._ _ _ _ _ _

______Eventually, you calm down enough to raise your head. And of _course _every one of your surrogate family is watching you with very worried faces.___ _ _ _ _ _

________Worried, and bruised. There are more black eyes than your frazzled brain can count at the moment, and Tasha’s lip is split and swollen, and Sam’s whole face looks like it’s been run over by a train, and it’s almost too much for you to handle. Your knees go shaky and you come very close to collapsing on the ground, but the crying must have done you good – released some tension or something – because you find that you have enough self-possession to mutter a quiet, “Hi.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And then the room explodes in a cacophony of laughter and ‘hello!’s and ‘we missed you!’s. And there are some tears, as well. But you don’t notice, because you’re suddenly so anxious and worried about what they’ll think of you and whether they’ll ever forgive you that you can’t seem to meet anyone’s eye – even Wanda. You just stare at the wall and the ground and your fingers and wonder why talking, which used to be the easiest and most fantastic thing ever when it came to this group, is suddenly so difficult._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Thankfully, before you have time to make things too awkward, Tony’s voice raises above the ruckus enough to be heard._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“All right, let’s give her some breathing room.” Everyone immediately quiets down. You feel a hand on your arm and somehow muster the courage to look up and meet Tony’s eyes. “Let’s go find a conference room. That might make this a little easier.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________All you can do is nod, comforted by the thought of a table between you and everyone else. Even a little barrier might make this a little easier._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There’s a general stampede in the direction of the nearest conference room, and you watch as they all stream into it, suddenly losing any courage that you had mustered. Thankfully, the only people hanging behind are Laura and Wanda, who you feel fairly comfortable with. Wanda’s staying to wait until you go into the room where all the others are, and Laura is eyeing Nathaniel and Lila and Cooper and Cassie._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t know about you guys,” she says doubtfully. “Maybe it would be best if you waited out here.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________That’s a good idea. Some of the things about to be said aren’t really for little ears._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Why don’t you guys go play video games in the media room?” Laura suggests._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Aww, Mom!” Cooper whines. “But I wanted to say hi to (Y/N)!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It only takes you about point five seconds to get over your newly developed Avenger anxiety enough to say something._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m standing right here,” you say, lifting an eyebrow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Cooper looks embarrassed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You scoff._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Don’t be sorry; come give me a hug.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He grins, and later Laura tells you that it’s the widest grin she’s seen on him in weeks, and he tackles you in a huge hug that is amazingly strong given his smaller size. You close your eyes and wrap your arms around him with equal intensity, feeling all your worries and issues fading away, at least for the moment. Lila and Cassie exchange a glance before squeezing in beside Cooper to hug you, too. They catch you off balance, and all of you stumble over backwards into a laughing tangle of arms and legs. Nathaniel shrieks with delight at the chaos and then toddles over to join the madness. You hold on to the kids and laugh until your lungs ache and wish with all your heart that it could stay this perfect and simple forever._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But, of course, it can’t, so eventually you let go of them and somehow manage to stand up and haul them up with you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It’s good to see you, (Y/N),” Cooper tells you, face pink from laughter. “I really missed you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“So did I,” Lila says, hugging you again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Me, too,” Cassie says, smiling up at you so sweetly that you feel tears burning behind your eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I missed you guys, too,” you tell them, leaning down for one last hug and tapping Nathaniel on the nose. “I’m really glad that I’m back.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They all chirp several variations on ‘we are, too’ and then dash off to the media room, dragging a giggling Nathaniel behind them. You wave at them until they’re out of sight, and then turn back to Wanda and Laura, both of whom have suspiciously watery eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Shall we do this?” you ask, gesturing at the doorway._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Laura smiles and links her arm through one of yours, and Wanda smiles and links her arm through the other._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Let’s do this,” Laura says, and with them half dragging you, you find yourself stepping into the room where everyone else is waiting._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Melinda immediately latches onto you, and you hug her back, feeling a smile taking over your face. It feels foreign, but you like it, and you hug her a little tighter._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________When you eventually let go, you feel overwhelmed. There are so many people. It feels so crowded, after who knows how long of it being just you and Moira. Everyone quiets down when they see you, and you can’t help squirming under their scrutiny. What must they be thinking?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bucky feels his heart break as he watches (Y/N) taking in the assembled Avengers. She looks so small, so lost, so vulnerable, and, worst of all, so _scared _. She’s never been scared, not with them. They’re her _family _, and she deserves to feel safe, no matter what. He can’t stand watching her fidget uncomfortably, and everything in him aches to wrap her up in a hug, but he’s also terrified of how she’ll respond, so in the end he hides in the corner and says nothing. He watches, though, watches with wide eyes as she tentatively stands there, wringing her hands and looking like she’d rather be anywhere but here._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________It’s so quiet that Bucky’s pretty sure he could hear a pin drop. (He also has, you know, enhanced hearing, so he could probably hear it anyway, but that’s beside the point.) He couldn’t be more upset that the tension in the room is so thick and awkward, because this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. She’s been gone for what feels like an eternity, and there should be laughter and hugs and everyone should be smiling; not this strange, unnatural quietness that is weighing on him like a ton of bricks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Um... hi, guys,” she offers when it becomes clear that no one else is going to say anything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The room erupts in responses to her timid greeting, and it brings a smile to her face. Bucky can feel himself relaxing a little bit. Maybe recovering their relationship with (Y/N) won’t be as hard as he thought it would. Maybe it’ll be easy and painless and they can just pick up where they left off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Let’s all take a seat, shall we?” Pepper suggests, and everyone seems to like that idea, so they all pull out some chairs and plop into them, some more gracefully than others._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________(Y/N) stares at the table, looking guilty and unhappy, and Bucky almost stands up to go sit beside her. But he gets scared of what she might do, and he sits back down, feeling like a coward._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“So, Sunny,” Tony begins, looking like Christmas has come early, “you’re back!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She smiles shyly as Wanda and Pepper, who are sitting nearest her, wrap her up in a hug._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I guess I am,” she says, but there’s something weird about her voice. She doesn’t sound like the Sunny he remembers._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Everyone is smiling, because their prodigal girl has returned, but the prodigal girl herself isn’t._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“So...” Natasha begins, but before she can say anything (Y/N) interrupts her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’m sorry. I’m really... I didn’t mean to do it, I promise. I’m so, so, so – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She doesn’t get any further than that, because Clint and Bucky talk over her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Hey, no! You don’t have to be sorry! It’s not your fault!” Bucky all but shouts._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Being mind controlled _sucks _,” Clint says adamantly. “We know.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Yes, we do,” Bucky nods furiously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________There are tears glazing her eyes over. She’s trying very hard to hold them back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It wasn’t your fault, (Y/N),” Clint says softly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It really wasn’t,” Bucky affirms, and he knows that he sounds lame but he also really needs her to know that it wasn’t _her _.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I don’t... I didn’t...” her voice breaks, and the tears slip onto her cheeks. Bucky’s heart cracks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“We’re not mad at you, Sun,” Sam says evenly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Well, you should be! Just look at your faces!” she cries gesturing towards them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Don’t worry; we were born with them,” Sam quips, and she scowls._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“That’s not what I meant. I beat you up, and you guys are my _family _. How can you – ”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Shut up,” Natasha says calmly. “We don’t blame you. Your kicks have gotten better, but you still need to work on your punches. There’s nothing more to say.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Oh, yes there is – ” Sunny begins, but Tony interrupts her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Yeah, Tash. There is.” Nat glares at him; she’s never liked that nickname. He ignores the glare and continues, “We have to discuss the terms and conditions Sunny will have to agree to if she stays here.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Wait just a minute – ” Bucky begins, but Steve shakes his head and Bucky forces himself to calm down. If Steve is okay with what Stark is about to say, the least _he _can do is listen.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You’re going to let me stay here?” Sunny asks, looking dazed, and Tony looks at her like she’s lost her mind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Duh,” he says. “I mean, as long as you’ll – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Of course I will!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“ – don’t interrupt me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________She looks abashed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Tony clears his throat. Bucky is thoroughly annoyed with all the dramatics._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________You try not to shift impatiently in your chair. You’d forgotten how Tony could drone on and on._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You can stay here and have free will and roam all over the Tower and do whatever and have an awesome job _if _you will adhere to the following,” Tony says importantly. “Number one: you’ll attend therapy sessions at least once a month. You’ve been through a traumatic experience – yes, you have, stop arguing – and you need professional help. Your mind can’t cope with stuff like this on its own, and that’s okay. Number two: you keep training with Tasha, because you have some cool moves. And number three: you keep talking to us.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You wait for him to keep going but he seems to be finished._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Is that it?” you ask, surprised._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He looks just as surprised as you do._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Is there anything else you can think of?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You can feel tears prickling behind your eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Guys... this isn’t fair. You can’t do this. I was absolutely horrible and I hit you and you can’t be this nice to me. I’m not worth it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________There’s a bang that makes you and everyone else jump. Bucky just banged his metal arm on the table, and it left a dent. He’s staring at you with eyes full of an emotion that you can’t read but looks very intense._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Never say that again,” he says in a low but clear voice. His eyes burn into yours and it looks like he’s going to say something else, but then he scrapes his chair back and leaves the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You feel like you just lost your best friend – which you kind of just did._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“What did I say?” you ask nervously. Bucky’s never, ever been mad at you before. It makes sense that he is now, though – you _did _bloody up his face pretty well.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You watch Steve and Natasha exchange glances and wonder what they mean._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Tony clears his throat again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Let’s pretend that that didn’t just happen,” he says. “Do you agree to the terms?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________The terms. The terms prove to you that even though you fought them, even though you hurt them, the team still loves you; still wants you around. It almost hurts, the relief that knowledge brings._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I’d be crazy not to, wouldn’t I?” you shrug, smiling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Tony lets out a whoop and Steve grins at you, and everyone else piles on you for the biggest group hug ever. When they’re done squeezing the breath out of you, Jane grabs your hand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Come on!” she says, sounding more excited than you’ve ever heard her. “Wait till you see your room!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I already have,” you remind her, confused. Sharon grabs your other hand, grinning like a maniac._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Oh, honey, no,” she says, sounding playfully patronizing, and together she and Jane drag you down the hall. The other girls follow, smiles plastered on their faces. You all come to an abrupt stop in front of the room that you dumped all your stuff in last time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Ready?” Laura asks you. You nod, grinning just as widely as she is. You’d forgotten how good it feels to be with your girls._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Bring it on!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________In spite of the fact that you’ve had ample warning, you gasp in awe when the door swings open._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________It’s one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________A huge banner saying ‘WELCOME HOME, (Y/N)’ is taped to the far wall, along with what look like hundreds of cards and notes from every member of the team. The bed is covered with all your favorite snacks, and more stuffed animals than you can count. The walls, which were a pleasant but impersonal shade of grey before, are now painted your favorite color, and the furnishings are all perfectly matched._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________But the thing that really takes your breath away is the painting hanging on the wall that isn’t covered with notes. You cover your mouth with your hands and try very hard not to cry._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________It’s your family, every single one of you, all happy and smiling and so vibrantly alive that you’re pretty sure the painting is going to start moving. Bruce is apparently telling a joke to Natasha, who has thrown back her head to laugh out loud. The Bartons are all holding hands and looking like they haven’t a care in the world. Thor and Jane are talking about something with Pepper and Tony, and Sam and Melinda are grinning. Steve is holding Sharon’s waist, and Vision is discussing something with Wanda. But best of all is you and Bucky. You’ve got your arms wrapped around each others’ waists, and as you laugh at something Wanda apparently said, Bucky is looking at you with an expression that makes your stomach turn flip flops._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You whirl around and point at the painting, smiling from ear to ear and totally out of words._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“What... how... who...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Wanda,” Nat says. “She’s got a bit of artistic talent, doesn’t she?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You stare at Wanda in disbelief._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Wanda... this is amazing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________She just smiles at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“I had to do something to keep me busy while you were away.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You’re at a loss for words, so you just throw your arms around her and hug her tightly. Laura grabs onto you, and Sharon grabs onto her, and all of you end up in a crying/laughing/very happy mess on the floor._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Thank you, guys,” you say hoarsely when you can speak again. “I can’t believe that you did all of this just for me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________All of them smile at you, and Laura speaks for all of them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Believe me, you’re worth it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, sad news. I've actually written most of the rest of the story, and we only have three chapters left. Just thought you should know. I'm very sad about it, but I thought I'd give you a heads up. Don't want anyone to get whiplash from a completely unannounced ending.  
> Anyway, I hope that you enjoyed(ish), and I'll see you soon!  
> All my love! <3


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I have my life together!  
> Enjoy!!!

_Bam! ___

__You glare at the punching bag, unleashing your pent up frustration on it._ _

___Bam! __Bam! ______ _

______It’s been a few weeks since you arrived back at the Tower._ _ _ _ _ _

_______Bam! __Bam! __Bam! ________ _ _ _ _ _

____________Laura, Clint, and the kids have gone home. Melinda’s found an apartment – which may or may not be in the same building as Sam’s – and moved there. Thor had some fiasco on Asgard to deal with, and Jane has returned to her lab. Sharon’s gone back to work. Scott’s taken Cassie back to L.A. to hang out with Hope – who he’s promised to bring to the Tower and introduce to you at one point. The rest of you are still in said Tower, training and therapying and talking and laughing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________BAM! ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Except for Bucky._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Ever since the meeting, he’s been distant. It hurts you like a physical ache, because out of all of your friends, Bucky is the one you’d thought would understand the most. He spent almost seventy years of his life doing things he didn’t want to do because of mind control. You would think that he’d be a little more accepting._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________It’s not like he’s _mean _. He gives you little smiles, and he says ‘hey’ when you pass each other in the hallways. He’s perfectly civil, but it’s not the same. He doesn’t sit next to you or strike up conversations or offer you the next _Lord of the Rings _book. He’s seemed to let you quietly fade into an acquaintance, which is so much worse than if he was actively hostile._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________You miss the Bucky that you knew so much that it’s killed your appetite and your desire to do anything. Which isn’t fair, and you sure as heck aren’t going to mope around because your crush doesn’t like you back – or, more accurately, because your best friend has ditched you. So you attend the weekly pizza nights that Tony has and watch movies with Natasha and spend hours debating whether it really counts when Bruce beats you at checkers, since he’s a genius._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Just because you’re handling it well, though, doesn’t mean you don’t wish with all your heart that your relationship with Bucky was recovered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Bam! ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________The gym door opens._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Hey, Sun,” Nat greets you. She eyes your punching bag and your wrapped hands and raises an eyebrow, dropping her gear onto the floor. “I came here to throw knives, but on second thoughts I’d rather talk to you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________You grab your water bottle and take a swig, gasping for air._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Why? Do I look that bad?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________She grins and shakes her head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“No, but something’s bothering you.” She plunks down onto a bench that’s built into the wall and pats the spot beside her. “Come sit down. You need a break, anyway.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________She has a point, so you sit down and stretch your arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“What’s wrong?” she asks bluntly, and before you even try she adds, “’Nothing’ is not an acceptable answer. You’re not withering away to nothing, but there’s something that’s on your mind. Spill.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“It’s Bucky,” you tell her, sighing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“When is it not?” she asks sagely._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“He’s mad at me, and I don’t know why,” you frown. “I know that he doesn’t like it when I ‘sell myself short,’ but he’s never been this upset this long before! What did I do? Is he actually really bothered about me whacking him in the nose? Do I need to – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You idiot,” Natasha rolls her eyes. “I thought you were supposed to have gotten better at reading people, not worse.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“What are you talking about?” you ask, genuinely confused. “Have you not seen how awkward and horrible every interaction with him is?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You’re totally not seeing – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I get it that I messed up, but he usually gives me a chance to fix it. Why can’t – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“(Y/N) – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“ – he do that this time?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You’re not seeing the big picture here.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________You sigh, feeling defeated._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“What big picture?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“The one where Bucky’s totally in love with you and he lost you and now you’re back and he just wants to kiss you but he doesn’t know how to just go for it and he’s scared so he’s avoiding you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________You gape at her, at a loss for words. For one thing, that’s pretty much the longest sentence you’ve ever heard anyone say without at least a two second pause. For another, it’s never even occurred to you that that could be the reason._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“But, Natasha,” you begin, feeling a little out of your depth, “there aren’t any stares or stammerings. He’s just kind of... cold and distant. Which really makes me sad, by the way, since he is – or was – one of my best friends on the planet.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________As if to underscore your point, it’s at this exact moment that Bucky walks into the room with a gym bag slung over his shoulder. He gives both you and Tasha a curt nod as he passes you, but he says nothing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________When he’s out of sight, you whisper, “I told you so,” in Nat’s ear, grab your own bag, and leave to go take a shower._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________After you’ve spent enough time in the shower to take deep breaths and convince yourself that it’s really okay, that Bucky will probably warm up to you with time, that it’s fine, that he’ll come around, you step out of the hot water and draw shapes in the fog on your mirror._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________It’s six in the evening, and you have nothing going on tomorrow, so it takes you about thirty seconds to decide that putting clothesy clothes on is a terrible idea. You dig through your drawers and find the softest, hugest t-shirt that you can find (one which you may or may not have nicked from Bucky’s laundry pile back on the _JARVIS _, back when the two of you were actually on speaking terms) and the fluffiest and most comfortable pajama pants that you own. You stick your feet into the gigantic Hulk slippers that Nat bestowed on you after tripping in them for the thirtieth time (“I swear, if I fall over my own feet in these one more time, I’m going to murder something. Take them,” she’d snarled, tossing them at you. Nat clearly doesn’t handle gracelessness very well. But you’re not complaining, since you gained some warm and fuzzy, albeit clompy and ungainly, slippers out of the situation.).___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Deciding that since you’re not leaving the Tower, this is a perfectly fine ensemble, you traipse into the living room and flop on the couch. You’re just reaching for the remote to see what’s on Netflix when Bucky walks in._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You can feel your face turning red and feel very conscious that your outfit is hardly the most attractive one ever (which is putting it mildly) and have a sudden wish that you’d put on your less comfortable but more aesthetically pleasing jeans._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Not that there’s any point in wishing that now, since what’s done is done, and what’s done is you being sprawled on the couch in pretty much the most unflattering pajamas ever while the most gorgeous man alive is walking into the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You immediately shoot up into a sitting position, dropping the remote on the floor in the process. It makes such a big clatter that Bucky, who you know knows that you’re there but who was completely ignoring you, turns quickly to look at you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He has a look on his face that, if you didn’t know better, you’d identify as ‘worried.’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“You okay, (Y/N)?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________His voice saying your name makes your stomach turn a somersault, cliché as that is._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Y-yeah. I’m fine.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________His face immediately returns to its now-normal impassiveness._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Okay. Good.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He continues his journey over to the mini fridge in the corner (set there by Tony after deciding that the kitchen that is just down the hall is way too far to go for snacks) and crouches down to see what’s in it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You fidget uncomfortably on the couch for a minute before asking, “Do you want me to leave?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He looks at you with such a strange and intense expression on his face that you have to remember to breathe, but as quickly as it came it leaves his face and he shrugs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“It’s up to you. Whatever you want.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Your heart sinks and you turn to leave. No point in sticking around when all you’re really going to do is torture yourself with what used to be._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________But right before you step out into the hallway the mini fridge door suddenly slams closed and Bucky says, “Wait.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You stop dead in your tracks, heart hammering in your throat, and turn around to face him. He’s standing there, facing you, looking so lost and unhappy that you almost start crying right there._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“What is it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He looks so defeated, so miserable..._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“I... I’m sorry. I’ve been so awful to you for the last... I guess I’m not as good as you thought I was. I shouldn’t have – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“What?” you ask, feeling stunned. “You’re sorry? Why are you sorry?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He stares back at you, looking as bewildered as you are._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I’ve been a jerk and pretended you weren’t here, right when you needed me most? Maybe because – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Much as you love him, you feel a little irritated at that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“’Needed you most?’ News flash: I don’t _need _anybody. It doesn’t matter if you ignore me.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He looks abashed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“No, of course you don’t. I’m sorry. That was... I shouldn’t have assumed...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________It’s your turn to feel ashamed of yourself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Sorry, Buck. That was harsh.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He scoffs, and if you didn’t know better you’d swear that when you said his name there was a bit of a blush that flooded his cheeks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“No, it wasn’t. I shouldn’t have said that. Misogynistic of me. But I’m still really sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________You shake your head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“ _I’m _the one that’s sorry. First I bloodied your nose and now I’m pretending that you don’t matter to me – which, um – ” you can feel yourself blushing “ – you do, a lot, by the way.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________His eyes go warm with the second part of your sentence until he has time to process the first part of it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Wait, doll. Are you blaming yourself for what happened on the roof?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________You give him a ‘duh’ look._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Um, yeah. It kind of was my fist that hit your face, you know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________He shakes his head furiously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Sweetheart, no! That wasn’t _you _! You can’t feel like it’s your fault!”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You try very hard not to think about the fact that he’s used two terms of endearment in the span of ten seconds._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I know that it wasn’t my mind that was doing it, but it definitely was my body. I may not have been in charge when I did those things, but I still did them.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________He stares at you, looking more broken than you’ve ever seen him, even when he was feeling insecure, even when he was talking about the war._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“(Y/N), no. You can’t – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I’m sorry,” you sniffle, feeling guilty and ugly and woefully inadequate. There are tears in your eyes and Bucky’s face is starting to blur, so you start to turn and leave the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Before you can even take a step, however, you hear Bucky taking purposeful steps towards you, and there’s a hand on your shoulder that is gently turning you back around to face him, and he’s bringing his mouth down to meet yours._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________After the initial shock, you grasp his shoulders to keep yourself steady and you kiss him back. As soon as he knows that you’re not going to reject him, he uses his left arm to pull you closer by your waist and his right to support the back of your head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Neither of you are kissing so much as you’re breathing the other in. It’s not gentle, but it’s not rough. It’s desperate and his lips are cold and it’s a little clumsy, but neither of you mind. He kisses you like you’ll break if he’s not careful, but also like it’s his last chance. It’s like he’s reassuring himself that you’re really there, and he holds onto you like you’ll slip away if his grip is too loose._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You aren’t really sure what’s happening, but you are absolutely positive that you never want it to stop. Eventually, though, Bucky apparently feels the need to breathe, so he reluctantly takes his lips off of yours – something that you’re thankful for, since even though you needed air, you’d never have had the willpower to actually pull back. You tuck your head against his shoulder, listening to his heart pounding in your ear, and he kisses your hair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________It’s quiet for a minute. Both of you try to process what just happened, and neither of you really succeed. You wrap your arms around his waist and listen to his heart beat and wonder how you ever honestly thought you could live without him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________At some point you must have lifted your head from his chest, because you find yourself watching as Bucky’s very nice (and, incidentally, very talented) lips twist into a smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“That’s my shirt you’re wearing, isn’t it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You look down at your torso, because at the moment your brain isn’t functioning enough to remember what exactly you have on, and you glance back up at him with a slightly apologetic smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Uh, yeah.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I was wondering where that went,” he says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Sorry,” you say. “I can give it back to you if you want.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________He shakes his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Don’t do that. It looks much better on you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You grin at him and he readjusts his hold on you, resting his chin on top of your head. You bask in each others’ company, feeling happier than you have since this whole stupid mess began._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Sunny?” he says eventually._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“Yeah?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“I’m sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________You think about scolding him for ruining the moment with an apology and then you decide that it’s not worth it. After all, he _was _a little out of line for just ignoring you like that. Then again, you _did _break his nose._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________So you say, “Me, too.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“I forgive you,” he says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________You huff a laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“Me, too,” you say._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________It’s quiet for a minute, and then he says, “I’m pretty sure I love you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________You smile and hug him even more tightly and feel safe and loved and very, very happy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________“Me, too.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Pretty sure I can die happy now. This is my favorite chapter of them all.   
> I would love feedback, though! I'm not experienced with kissing (read: I have never kissed anyone in my life and all I really have to draw from is what I've read) and I'm a little nervous about this chapter. So let me know if it sucked, if it did okay, and what I could change!  
> I love you all (and so does Bucky)!!!


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I am alive! The wifi has been acting up at our house, so I haven't been able to update, even though I have the last chapter/epilogue/the last chapter is the epilogue written out.   
> *sniffs*  
> Anyway, enjoy!!!

Everyone has pretty much the reactions you’d expected when they find out that you and Bucky are officially, as they say it, ‘together.’

Melinda squeals and attacks you in a hug, and Sam grumbles, “About time,” before warning Bucky that if he hurts you he’ll have an upset Falcon to deal with. 

Natasha harrumphs but gives you a cheeky grin and an exaggerated wink, which makes you blush and smile like an idiot at the same time. Bruce smiles and congratulates both of you, sounding very happy.

Tony is excited that he can’t even say anything; he just stands there making strange, high-pitched noises and grinning so widely that you can see all of his teeth. It’s a bit creepy, actually. Pepper smiles and wraps you up in a hug, voicing all the congratulations that Tony obviously wants to say but can’t manage to find the words for.

Thor booms his congratulations and smothers Bucky in a ‘manly embrace.’ Jane jumps up and down and tells you that if you hadn’t gotten your act together soon she would have asked him out _for _you.__

__The two of you tell Laura and Clint over a video call, and Laura gasps and pretends to cry over ‘her little babies being all grown up’ and Clint says, “Way to go, man!” Cooper and Lila are both happy about this development, even if they’re not all that concerned. Lila seems a little confused, though. When Laura tells her that ‘(Y/N) and Bucky have finally fallen in love!’ Lila scrunches up her nose and asks, “Weren’t they already in love, Mom?”_ _

__Clint laughs at that, and Laura shrugs and says, “Yeah, but now they’ve finally admitted it.”_ _

__Lila shrugs, blows both of you kisses, and dashes off to play with whatever new toy Auntie Nat sent her for her birthday._ _

__Scott doesn’t have much of a reaction. “It was bound to happen sometime,” he says, and that’s that for him. You do catch him smiling at your and Bucky’s clasped hands one day, though he’d never admit it. Cassie is more than a little excited, and she makes you smile with her enthusiasm._ _

__Vision seems fairly apathetic, which was to be expected. Wanda, on the other hand, is overjoyed, and is the unofficial director of the relationship. Neither you nor Bucky minds, however, since she knows how to give you space when you need it._ _

__Sharon is thrilled, but Steve is _over the moon _. He alternates between ‘I knew it! I KNEW IT!’ and ‘I can’t believe it took you two this long to get together,’ but he smiles just as widely each time, so you know that he’s not actually that upset about you and Bucky taking this long to get your act together.___ _

____Speaking of, you and your boyfriend (you still get shivers down your spine every time you use that word in connection with James Buchanan Barnes) are so far beyond happy that it doesn’t even reply anymore. You’re in a constant state of bliss, and the reasons are so many that you’ve made a list._ _ _ _

____REASONS BUCKY BARNES IS THE PERFECT BOYFRIEND  
HE’S PERFECT  
HE’S NICE  
HE’S KIND  
HE’S GORGEOUS  
HE GIVES ME HUGS WHENEVER I WANT THEM  
EVEN IF I’M SWEATY FROM THE GYM OR SOMETHING  
HE NEVER IGNORES ME  
HE ALWAYS GIVES ME CHOCOLATE WHEN I WANT IT  
HE’S THE BEST CUDDLER IN THE WORLD  
HE’S THE BEST HUGGER IN THE WORLD  
HE’S THE BEST KISSER IN THE WORLD  
HE’S MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER_ _ _ _

____Bucky laughs and shakes his head at it when he finds it, though he also turns bright red and mumbles, “I’m not _this _great, sweetheart.”___ _ _ _

______You don’t really care, and just let him wrap you up in a hug and kiss your forehead._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re not any _less _great,” you shrug.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“But I’m not perfect,” he protests. “In fact, if anyone here is perfect, it’s you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You give him a skeptical look and he nods earnestly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It’s true, darlin’. Much more true than this stupid list.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He waves a dismissive hand towards the paper and you pout._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hey! Respect my amazing writing skills! I spent a whole five minutes making that!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Bucky rolls his eyes, but he laughs, and gives you a kiss, which distracts both of you for a minute. When he finally pulls back to let you catch your breath, he says, “See? You work hard to make me feel appreciated.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You laugh, but apparently still look unconvinced, because he sighs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Fine, then,” he says, flopping onto the couch and dragging you down with him, “I’ll just make my own list.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Ooh!” You sit up, getting excited. “I get my own list?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He shrugs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I mean, I’m not going to write it out. I don’t have the energy for that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You scoff and half stand up to leave._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I am deeply insulted, Mr. Barnes. I think I’ll just go hang out with Bruce and Natasha and let you sit here and think about your transgressions.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He pulls you back down in between giggles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Stop it, (Y/N). I’ll write it out if you really want me to.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Nah,” you say, cuddling contentedly into his chest. “I’ll be perfectly fine if you just whisper it in my ear.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“But I don’t want to whisper,” he whines, but there’s a smile on his face and you just shake your head at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Stop complaining and tell me how amazing I am!” you order, and he laughs. (He’s been doing a lot of that since the two of you became ‘a thing.’)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Um, well, as you so humbly put it, you are amazing,” he begins._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Please. Tell me something I _don’t _know,” you scoff, laughing. He nuzzles his face into your hair and continues.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Even though you pretend to be confident and sure of yourself, you’re not. You feel like you’re clumsy and awkward and not as pretty as you’d like to be – even though you are, and if you were any less clumsy or awkward you wouldn’t be you and I wouldn’t love you as much, and you’re not just pretty, you’re blindingly gorgeous – which, even though it’s sad, is genuinely okay, because I’ll always be here to tell you that you’re more than anyone could ever dream for.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Geez, Buck,” you sniff, trying to be subtle about wiping your eyes. “We’ve only been in this relationship for two months and you’ve already made me cry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He grins and plants a kiss on your cheek before continuing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You also put up with all of my nightmares and nonsense like that. You never complain when I need you to sit up with me during the night. You’re always more patient and kind and forgiving with me than is humanly possible.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Obviously it’s humanly possible if I’m doing it,” you remind him, “and I’m really not that great. I have just as many nightmares as you, and you’re just as patient with me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Oh, but am I as breathtakingly beautiful into the bargain?” he counters._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You scoff._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Of course not! Don’t be ridiculous. You’re heartbreakingly handsome.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He starts laughing, and you can’t help feeling proud of yourself for the cleverness you’ve displayed today. You’re feeling very sharp witted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Stop making me laugh; I need to finish my list,” he complains. You huff impatiently._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Fine, then. Talk about how wonderful I am instead of appreciating my genius.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He starts laughing again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Sweetheart,” he begins, in between giggles, but you never find out what he was going to say, because there’s a loud and fake gagging noise from behind you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Will you two ever stop flirting?” Tony groans, rummaging around the bookshelves until he finds the one he’s looking for. “And no, you don’t have to say anything – I’m pretty sure I know the answer myself.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Sorry, Tony,” you call over the arm of the couch, “I may be mistaken, but weren’t you our biggest supporter for months? What changed?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You two turned into some sappy stupid rom com movie,” he grumbles, but you’re pretty sure you catch a smile before he turns to leave the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“We’re still not as bad as you and Pepper, Stark!” Bucky informs his retreating back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Shut up, Barnes,” Tony retorts eloquently._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You and Bucky are about to start discussing the ratio of how much flirting/PDA the two of you display to Pepper and Tony’s flirting/PDA, but before you can get very far into said discussion, Sam and Melinda wander in and drop onto the sofa beside you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Hey!” Melinda greets you, squishing herself in between you and the armrest. Sam does the same to Bucky._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Hey!” you return. “How’s life?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Life is fine,” she says. “Pepper let me have a half day today, and Sam and I are heading out to watch a movie and get dinner somewhere.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Sounds fun!” you say, trying to match her excited tone. You know she and Sam have been spending a lot less time together than they’d like to, and you’re genuinely happy that they’ll get to make up for a bit of lost time this afternoon._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“What are you two going to do for the rest of the day?” she asks you, leaning back on the couch and draping her legs across your lap. “Sit here and cuddle?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I wish,” you groan. “Since Clint and everyone are back for a little bit Natasha wants to train, and she somehow managed to convince me to join them.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Managed to blackmail you, more likely,” Melinda scoffs. “You’ve got to learn to make her stop taking pictures of you when you’re sleeping, Sunny!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You say that like I _want _her to sneak into my room at night!” you say defensively. “And who was ever able to stop Natasha from going where she wanted to go?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You have a point there,” Melinda admits._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Sam suddenly leaps into a standing position with a shriek, and Bucky dissolves into laughter._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“How _could _you scare Sam on purpose?” you ask him reproachfully, slapping his hand and making him drop the fake spider on the floor.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Oh, it was very easy, actually,” Bucky says, grinning unrepentantly. You fight valiantly against the smile that is trying to take over your face, but in the end you laugh along with him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Melinda never even tried to stand up; she’s laughing too hard._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Your _face _,” she chortles. “You were _terrified _!”_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Shut up, woman,” Sam grumbles, trying to gather up his remaining shreds of dignity. “It’s normal, and probably even _healthy _, for a grown man to have a mild to moderate fear of spiders.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You keep telling yourself that, dear,” Melinda says comfortingly, taking the hand he’s offering her to help her stand up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“It _is _,” he insists, and that starts her laughing all over again.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Well, our movie starts in half an hour, so we’re leaving,” Sam says, ignoring his giggling girlfriend. You lean back against Bucky and give them a wave._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Have fun!” you say._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Will do,” Melinda nods, grabbing Sam’s hand and dragging him out of the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Hopefully there aren’t any spiders in your movie. Wilson might – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Bucky never gets to finish his sentence, because Sam screams, “Shut _up _, Barnes!” before a distant door slams and the two of them are out of earshot.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“That wasn’t very nice,” you inform him, playing with his hair. He has the grace to look _slightly _ashamed of himself – though only slightly, you note, trying not to laugh again.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“When are you going to start acting mature and responsible like the adult that you are?” you ask him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Oh, never,” he says cheerfully._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“That’s what I thought,” you nod._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Bucky starts to say something else, but he is once again interrupted by Steve and Sharon bursting into the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Quick! Hide us!” Sharon squeaks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Sharon!” you say in surprise. “I thought you were in Europe!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“I was,” she says, “but then I was relocated here. And Natasha wants me to come train with her and Clint and I got off the plane like ten minutes ago.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“It was more like four hours ago,” Steve reminds her gently. She shrugs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Same thing. Airport hours are different from regular hours.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“So you’re back permanently?” you ask, delighted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“As far as I know!” she grins, and you jump off the couch to give her a hug._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“That’s great!” Bucky says, genuinely pleased – though not pleased enough to get up off of the couch._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Yeah,” Steve agrees, smiling at Sharon with a smitten grin plastered on his face. Bucky gives him a knowing look, and Captain America turns bright red._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________You laugh to yourself, but decide to be nice and change the subject._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Is Natasha nearby?” you ask tentatively. She’s been on a bit of a training rampage lately. You suspect that it’s because her godchildren are in the Tower and she wants them to learn at least enough to defend themselves, but you wish that it didn’t have to affect you in any way. The only things you want to do with Clint and Lila are color pictures of Disney characters and get beaten in Mario Kart – both of which both you and Bucky have spent a lot of time doing with the kids since the Bartons got back to the Tower. Laura and Clint are here to talk to Tony about installing some sort of robot at their house to help with chores (or something like that; when they walked in, you were more concerned about hugging every one of them than finding out why exactly they were there), so it’s helpful if the kids can stay out from underfoot._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________You and Bucky have taken the task of keeping the small Bartons entertained upon yourselves, and you’re finding it very enjoyable. The way Bucky interacts with them takes your breath away. He’s patient beyond belief, and the smiles he manages to coax from the kids are so heartwarming that you find yourself getting teary-eyed one day. Not to mention the fact that the kids are ridiculously sweet and you love spending time with them even without the added bonus of your boyfriend being adorable._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Boyfriend!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Anyway, Sharon’s about to answer, but before she can Natasha herself barges into the room, dragging an unhappy-looking Clint behind her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Are you guys coming or not?” she demands of you and Bucky._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________You let out a sigh and resign yourself to your fate._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Coming,” you say, deciding that there must be some worse fate than just doing a little workout – though no such thing is coming to mind at the moment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Not,” Bucky says at the same time, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him so he can bury his face in your shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Natasha groans._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Come on, guys. How are we ever going to keep up our abilities if we don’t – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“We just won’t,” Steve says, and Natasha opens and closes her mouth, looking a little like an awestruck fish. Everyone else is a little surprised, too – Steve’s normally even more strict about training than Natasha. “Come on, Nat. We all did some training yesterday. Why don’t we just pick out a movie and team build that way?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Everyone jumps on that suggestion like a kitten on a ball of yarn._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Yes!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“Brilliant!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“I’ll go get Laura and the kids,” Clint says, skulking out of the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Natasha looks displeased with the change in her plans for all of ten seconds before she shrugs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“You guys have a point,” she admits, and you reach out to feel her forehead, suddenly concerned. T o give up without a fight is very uncharacteristic of her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“You feeling okay, Nat?” you ask as she swats your hand away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________“I’m fine,” she says, settling into an armchair. “I realized how long it’s been since I’ve seen _The Lion King _.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________“ _Yes _,” you say happily, reaching for the remote.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________A noise like a herd of stampeding elephants sounds down the hall. Here come Laura and the kiddlies, along with their father and Wanda._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Vision didn’t want to come,” she informs you, shoving you over so she can sit down beside you. You’re now squished up against Bucky – not that you mind. Nor does he, for that Matter. “Something about recalibrating some stuff.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________You shrug._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“His loss.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Bruce pokes his head tentatively around the empty doorframe._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Movie night?” he asks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Everyone says something in the affirmative, and Natasha beckons him over to her chair. She coaxes him in and then drapes herself across his lap, and both of them look very pleased with that arrangement._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________You and Bucky glance at each other and immediately launch into a rendition of ‘Can You Feel the Love Tonight?’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Bruce blushes, Natasha glares at you, and the two of you high five, intentionally squawking the high notes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Nathaniel covers his ears, which makes you laugh so hard that you forget to keep singing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Sorry, Buddy,” Bucky says apologetically as he accepts a can of Pepsi from Steve._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________Laura can’t stop giggling, but your attention is distracted from her by Tony and Pepper making an entrance. They’re both wearing t-shirts and sweatpants and look very relaxed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“Ooh!” Pepper says as Tony claims the love seat for the two of them. “What are we watching?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________“ _Lion King _,” Natasha and the kids say in unison.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________Tony promptly bursts into, ‘Be Prepared,’ and Pepper shoots him a warning look. He lapses into silence, but before he has time to pout you’ve found the movie on the menu and press play._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________Settling back into the cushions, glancing around the room, you wonder how you got so lucky. Laura’s leaning her head on Clint’s shoulder, and both of them are so serene that you almost start crying. Wanda’s curled up, resting against the armrest, and she has a smile on her face as she watches Lila and Cooper humming along. Bruce is clinging to Natasha like he’s scared she’ll melt away, and she’s got a gentle hand playing with his curls, and both of them look contented and peaceful. Tony is lying across the loveseat with his head on Pepper’s lap, and even though she’s pretending to be exasperated you can see the fond smile creeping across her face in spite of herself. Steve has an arm around Sharon’s shoulders, holding her like she’s the most precious thing in the world to him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________And Bucky has his arms around your waist and he’s kissing your hair and whispering “I love you” into your ear, and everything is perfect._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love to you all!!! <3


	40. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably my favorite of them all, hands down.  
> (Also, side note, I realized that I'd never done a disclaimer or anything, so I DON'T OWN MARVEL OR YOU. That is all.)  
> I hope you enjoy it!!!

“Flowers! Who was in charge of the flowers? Do we know if - ”

“Here they are,” Pepper says smoothly, interrupting Sharon’s panicked rambling by shoving a magnificent bouquet into her arms. 

“Oh, good,” Sharon says, sounding relieved for all of two seconds before she suddenly asks, “Does my hair look okay? Am I – ”

“You look fine,” Laura interrupts her calmly. “Steve’s going to be floored when he sees you.”

This is the big day – Steve and Sharon’s wedding. It’s been almost two years since the Moira fiasco, in which time Pepper and Tony have gotten married, Scott and Hope have gotten married, and Bruce and Natasha have finally - _finally _\- gotten engaged.__

__If you’re not very, very wrong, Sam and Melinda will also be getting married before the year is out, but that’s just a guess._ _

__When Steve proposed to Sharon, you’d all thought that it would be a fairly calm affair. After all, Steve’s Captain America, and Sharon handles matters of international importance on a daily basis._ _

__All of you were dead wrong._ _

__The closer the wedding got, the more panicked the bride and groom became. At this point, Steve is nothing short of frantic, and Sharon’s dangerously close to hysterical._ _

__“Sharon,” you say, forcing calm into your voice that you don’t feel, “you look _amazing _. Everything’s going to be absolutely perfect.”___ _

____“But what if it’s not?” she wails, staring at the mirror like it’s going to fix all her problems._ _ _ _

____“Sharon,” you say, taking her by the shoulders and turning her around to face you. “You’re going to be fine. We’re totally prepared for this. All you have to do is walk down an aisle and love Steve, and I’ve seen you do both those things ever since I met you.”_ _ _ _

____Your matter-of-fact words seem to calm her down._ _ _ _

____“You’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me.”_ _ _ _

____You laugh, relieved that she’s seemed to recover from her momentary panic._ _ _ _

____“It’s really okay. Just remember that you’ve got this, okay?”_ _ _ _

____Sharon nods, taking a deep breath and smoothing down the front of her full-skirted, floor length wedding dress. You feel tears welling up in your eyes because of the simple action._ _ _ _

____No one was surprised when Steve asked Bucky to be his best man – in fact, they’d have been surprised if he hadn’t. But you were stunned speechless when Sharon approached you to be her maid of honor._ _ _ _

____“I know that it’s a lot to ask, and if you don’t want to that’s fine. But... you’ve been one of my best friends, (Y/N), and I’d really love it if you’d... well...”_ _ _ _

____You cut her off with a huge hug, because there was no way you’d be able to say anything with the tears welling up behind your eyes and in your throat. After you both cried on each other’s shoulders for a minute, you told her that you would be honored to be her maid of honor, and the wedding preparations began._ _ _ _

____According to everyone else, you’ve been fantastic through all the craziness that comes with playing a central part in planning a wedding._ _ _ _

____According to you, the experience you’ve had is equivalent to being run over by a herd of elephants and then used as a welcome mat by hippos._ _ _ _

____It all depends on the way you look at it, really._ _ _ _

____But the big day is finally here, and you, Melinda, Laura, Natasha, Wanda, Pepper, and Sharon herself are all getting ready in the dressing room._ _ _ _

____“What if I trip?” Sharon worries aloud._ _ _ _

____“Then Steve will come help you up like the gentleman that he is,” Natasha says, wriggling into her bridesmaid’s dress and turning around to let Laura zip it up._ _ _ _

____“It’s not going to be the disaster you think it is,” Wanda tells her, checking her lipstick in the mirror. “There’ll be some minor slipups here and there, but in the end everything’s going to be amazing and you’re going to be really happy with Steve.”_ _ _ _

____“Says the woman with _so much _experience with weddings,” Natasha snarks.___ _ _ _

______“I, for one, actually _do _have a lot of experience with weddings, and Wanda’s completely right,” Pepper informs her, wiping some smudged mascara away from underneath your eye. You start to turn towards the mirror to make sure that she got it all, and it’s at this moment that Nick Fury enters the room.___ _ _ _ _ _

________Sharon had a hard time deciding who she wanted to walk her down the aisle. Her own father died a few years back, and she was worried that there was really no father figure that she felt close enough to for this huge occasion. And then the former S.H.I.E.L.D. director had shown up on the Tower’s doorstep, and he and Sharon had spent hours working on a case together, and somehow an unlikely friendship developed, and here they are._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Ready?” he asks her. He’s looking snazzy, against his will – he’d fought violently against wearing a tux, but Steve had managed to wheedle him into reluctant agreement._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Sharon takes a deep breath and gives him a smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Ready,” she says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lila makes an adorable flower girl, and all the bridesmaids are nothing short of stunning in their red dresses. (Much as Steve had blushed and stammered half-hearted protests, Sharon had insisted that marrying Captain America was too good an opportunity to pass up, and as such everything is either red, white, or blue.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You have to bite back a smile of your own as you watch Bruce grinning uncontrollably in his spot, his eyes glued to Natasha and the sparkling ring on her left hand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Natasha goes... Wanda goes... Melinda goes... Laura goes... Pepper goes... and suddenly it’s your turn._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________You suddenly realize that you’re nervous, and it’s not a nice realization, and your stomach swoops unpleasantly as you start walking, and you worry that you’ll wobble in your high heels... and then you catch Bucky’s eye, and he winks at you, and all your concerns melt away at the light in his eyes. You straighten up and walk with confidence, and he subtly gives you a thumbs up as you take your place. You barely manage to smother a giggle before turning to watch Sharon walk towards you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The ceremony is short and to the point. Steve bawls his eyes out, and Bucky rolls his own before handing him a Kleenex. Sharon gazes up at her groom with eyes so full of love that you find yourself sniffling more than once._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________When they’re pronounced man and wife, they all but run down the aisle towards the doors, and you watch them go with a shake of your head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Milady,” Bucky says, holding out his arm._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Good sir,” you say, taking it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You look absolutely breathtaking, darlin’,” he murmurs in your ear, and shivers work their way up and down your spine._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You don’t look too bad yourself,” you tell him, trying to regain control. Something about his hot breath on your ear made your legs go a little loose. “You clean up pretty well, Barnes.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He definitely does._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________After literal _years _of pleading, he’d decided that cutting his hair wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. It’s not cropped super short, but it’s not chin length anymore, either, and while you thought you would miss having the long locks to play with, it turns out that Bucky with shortish hair is most definitely not a bad thing.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Not to mention the perfectly tailored suit that he’s wearing, along with the crisp blue shirt that makes his eyes look even more knee-weakening than usual._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Long story short, you’re exercising a lot of self control as you walk demurely out of the church._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The reception is amazing. (Not that it’s surprising... Tony paid for it and Pepper organized it. You’d never expect anything less than amazing from the dream team.)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________In keeping with the Captain America theme, the tablecloths are red, white, and blue, and there are star-spangled napkins. You and Bucky both laugh until your stomachs hurt at the look on Steve’s face when it turns out that Sam decided to hire some singers to perform ‘The Star Spangled Man with a Plan.’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sam doesn’t look at all sorry, even when Steve ‘accidentally’ stomps on Sam’s foot when no one’s looking._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Everyone decided to be merciful, and instead of some America-related song, the Rogers’ first dance is to some innocent instrumental waltz._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________As soon as the dance floor is opened up for the public’s use, Bucky turns to you and holds out his hand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“May I have this dance?” he asks, and your breath catches in your throat at the tender and loving look he gives you._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Let’s go,” you smile, taking his hand and standing up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The songs start out fast and fun, and Bucky is clearly having the time of his life as he twirls you around. You muse for the millionth time on how lucky you are that you have a partner who knows what he’s doing, because if you were supposed to do these moves on your own, you’d probably have sprained an ankle (and possibly a wrist) within the first three seconds._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Clint taps you on the shoulder with an impish grin, and Bucky smiles at you as he takes Laura’s hand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The two of you end up circling through all of your friends; after Clint, you dance with Sam, and then Bruce (which is awkward and neither of you really know how to dance so you just sort of sway), and then Thor (which is also awkward because you’ve got no clue what the god of thunder is trying to do, but you definitely can’t do whatever it is). Tony rescues you and makes sarcastic comments about everyone in the room, which leaves you laughing when he passes you off to Steve._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Nice wedding,” you comment, grinning at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Thanks,” he says, grinning back, and you’re struck by how like a golden retriever he is. Shaking off the strange thought, you start to say something about how beautiful Sharon looks, but he interrupts you. “I know that this wouldn’t have happened without you. Thank you for all the work you put in.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Oh, that was really all Pepper,” you begin, but he shakes his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Nope. You don’t understand. None of this would be the same if you weren’t here.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You’re making me blush,” you tell him, taking your hand off his shoulder to feel your flaming cheek. He laughs, but his eyes stay serious._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“We’re really glad you’re here, (Y/N),” he says. “There’s... I’m not good with words, but you really are the sunshine. We’d all be a mess without you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Now you’re not only blushing, you’re tearing up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Stop it, Rogers,” you scold, wiping your eye. “If you make me cry, my mascara will run, and if my mascara runs, I’ll look horrible for my speech – which I’m nervous about, by the way.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He scoffs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You’re gonna do great. And, besides, even if you don’t cry now you definitely will then.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Says who?” you ask, trying to be offended._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Says all women everywhere,” he shrugs. “You’re all very emotional.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“That was a very sexist comment,” you say, still trying to act affronted. “Maybe – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________But he starts laughing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Your acting is horrible, Sun,” he informs you. “Remind us never to let you go on an undercover mission.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Before you can be actually offended, two very familiar arms, one metal and one human, wrap around your waist, and a very familiar chin rests on your shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’m afraid I need my best girl back, punk,” he informs Steve._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Fine, jerk,” Steve says, winking at you. “I’ll just go get my own, then.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He waves before Bucky spins you around to face him and rests his hands on your hips._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Having a good time?” he asks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You nod._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“A _great _time,” you say. “The wedding has gone off pretty well, hasn’t it? One of the best I’ve ever been to.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He scoffs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Honey, there’s no way this old thing will ever hold a candle to ours.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Your eyes widen and you stop swaying as what he just said sinks in._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Ours?” you whisper hoarsely, staring at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He turns red and then white._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“(Y/N)... Baby, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Our wedding?” you ask, and tears well up behind your eyes, and you don’t even think about your mascara. “You want to marry me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He looks at you like you’ve lost your marbles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Are you crazy, Sun? Of _course _I want to marry you.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You start actually crying now, tears slipping out of your eyes and down your cheeks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You really want to marry me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Bucky starts to panic, wiping the tears off of your face with gentle fingers._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I shouldn’t have said... I meant for it to be so much better than this. I had it all planned – Steve was gonna help. After he got back from his honeymoon. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, I promise. I’m so sorry. You deserve so much better... I shouldn’t have...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You put your hand over his mouth, cutting off the flow of words._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You really, truly, want to marry me?” you ask, voice shaky with emotion. “You really do?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He pulls you close and hugs you tightly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“(Y/N), gorgeous, of _course _I want to marry you. You’re kind and beautiful and wonderful and _perfect _, and even though it’s too soon and I didn’t want to rush you I’ve already got the ring, and if it were up to me we’d be signing the papers tonight, because I _know _, sweetheart, that you’re the only woman I’m ever going to love for the rest of my life.”_______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________You cling to him, trying harder than you’ve ever tried in your life to regain control. When you’re fairly sure that you won’t be audibly sobbing, you emerge from Bucky’s jacket, sniffing slightly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You – you bought a ring?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________A blush creeps up the back of his neck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I know it was silly. I shouldn’t have – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“When can I put it on?” you ask, effectively stopping the rambling you know is going to flood out of his mouth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He stares at you, speechless, as the worry in his eyes changes to confusion, which changes to realization, which, in turn, becomes unspeakable joy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You... really?” he stammers, and you lean back into him, embracing him with all your might._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Really.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He pulls away from the hug, and you start to panic before he grabs you and kisses you to within an inch of your life. You can’t stop smiling, even though you’re kissing him, and he’s smiling, too, and when you eventually decide to take a break to get some air, he immediately starts digging in his pocket._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________The smile drops off of your face as you realize what he’s looking for._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“You have _not _been carrying it around with you all this time,” you say flatly, unable to believe it.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Sorry to contradict you, darlin’, but yes, I have,” he says, eyes twinkling unrepentantly as he pulls a small box out of his pocket._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“May I?” he asks, taking your hand, and you realize that you’ve abruptly lost your ability to speak so you just nod, and he smiles warmly at you before saying, “Close your eyes for a minute, okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You squeeze your eyelids shut and feel something cool and metal slip onto your left ring finger, and you have to use all of your willpower to keep from bursting into tears right there._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Okay,” he says, sounding excited and slightly nervous, “you can look.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You open your eyes and immediately lose your battle._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________The ring that is sparkling on your finger is nothing short of breathtaking. It’s elegantly engraved with the words “‘til the end of the line” all the way around the band. There’s a diamond in the middle, but it’s encircled with –_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Rubies, see?” Bucky says gently, taking your hand and brushing his fingers over it. “For all the horrible things we’ve both seen and done, but also for all the love and forgiveness we’ve gotten in return.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________You promptly burst into out of control sobs, and Bucky looks alarmed as he pulls you into his chest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“No... shh... if you don’t like it we can always go and get another one. It’s not exactly traditional... I probably should have...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Shut... up...” you hiccup into his shoulder. “It’s... absolutely... perfect, and if you... change it... I will personally – ”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Never mind,” Bucky says, sounding relieved as he gives you your thousandth tight and secure and safe and warm hug of the evening. “We won’t be changing it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Good,” you say, and when you’ve finally recovered from your tears you kiss him until Sam hollers, ‘Get a room!’ and Melinda smacks his arm, and you pull away and rest your forehead against Bucky’s and giggle together like children._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________And you know, as he pulls you back in for another kiss despite Sam’s audible disapproval, that regardless of what happens, you and Bucky will always be okay, because you’ll always be together._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________‘Til the end of the line. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this is it.  
> I'm probably being way too dramatic, but I can't believe that we finished it!  
> I am so, so, SO indescribably thankful for all of you lovely people who have inspired me and stuck with me this far. You guys are the absolute BEST, and I can't put into words how much I love you.  
> Thank you for sticking this out! I love you!!! <3  
> All the best,   
> Star

**Author's Note:**

> As always, don’t feel pressured to comment, but if you have time and/or the inclination, I would absolutely LOVE to hear your opinion!!! If you have any ideas or suggestions, just let me know, and I will try my hardest to write it in.  
> I really hope that you had fun reading this!


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